Behind The Alpha Book 8 ADAM

Chapter 21



(Chapter song ‘Black Black Heart' by David Usher)

ADAM

Seeing her reaction to my beast had me doubt my strength.

My shifter whined and I shut him up. I can’t feel for her. I can’t put her through what she’s asking for.

“You need me.” She whispers.

I forced my cold heart to shut down. She has know idea how powerful those words were in this moment and I won’t let her know.

“I don’t want to hurt you, but I will if you refuse to listen.”

She stood there absorbing my threat and I left her on the road.

My bike revved and I tried to bury my denial. Denial that she reached in and touched my very soul. Of all the people I’ve come across, why now?

As the day turned to night, I approached the foothill of the broken mountain.

Every rock I climbed, she was there. Every time the wind blew, I smelled her. I tried to escape her, but she invaded me and I was now a hostage to her.

I made my way to the village and into the pack house. I slammed my body down on the couch and tried to rest my head. When I closed my eyes she called my name. I sit up in frustration.

I stand and pace the room. Why? Why should I care? This is pointless! Nothing will be left. I have nothing to give.

I walk around the room and in a fit of lycan rage, I toss a table and splinters on the wall.

I know why I’m so furious. I just don’t know how to deal with it.

‘It’s the ultimate prize, man. To have someone love you like that, God…’

I slam my palms over my eyes to rid the memory. I scrub my face. “No. No, I won’t. I won’t accept it.”

My wolf growls in protest and I fight him. “Stop it! You’re emotions are useless.” I growl as I pace.

I won’t admit I was attracted to her the moment our eyes met. I refuse to acknowledge the desire that exploded in me had me foaming at the mouth. I won’t accept that the only reason I’m denying myself is that I don’t want see her hurt. Whether I win or lose, it will end up in pain. Mostly mine.

I slump on the couch and rest my hands between my thighs.

I play with my fingers as I think of how unfair it is. If I had more lives then maybe. If I had more time.

If I had a way out.

Not everyone finds love. Not everyone can feel it. I’ve spent many years training myself against it and in one, longing look, that training was blown to hell.

I feel weak already and it’s only been a moment. She opened a door and now it refuses to close.

What does it mean?

I lay down again and try to understand it all. What would be the purpose to introduce such a creature to me?

I guess my thoughts tired my mind because at some point I fell asleep.

“Adam!”

****

ASTRID

He waked with a jolt and sits up. Our eyes connect and everything floods in. His beautiful form sits on my brothers couch and my heart aches.

I know I should head his warning. I felt the monster inside, but I also sensed a lot pain behind it.

The wind through the broken walls and windows tosses his white hair as he looks me over with shock and disbelief.

I stood at the hole in my brothers pack house and looked to the floor as the storm rages outside. “I-I'm sorry. I just…”

Before I could finished the words, a gust of wind surrounded me. I felt my coat grabbed and with a yelp, I’m lifted off my feet. I’m flown across the room and my back hits the couch.

It takes a moment to feel his weight on my body and my stomach turns as his eyes settle barely an inch from mine.

He quickly fists my hair, pulls my head to the side and stretches my neck out. My breathing becomes erratic, heat grows between us and I whimper as his nose brushes my skin.

The feel of his touch on my skin feels like the electrical storms that always roared above my head at night. He closes his eyes and I believe I heard a soft purr come from his lips as he lightly rubs my neck with his lips.

Tingles run down my spine as his threat continues. I’ve been with men before, but nothing like this. It’s the same possession, but different. There’s a hunger in his grip. A desire I’ve never experienced in another male.

It's like he wants me close, but wants to push me away.

One thing I know is, he can kill me without a second thought and that truly does scare me. Surprisingly his scent of a dark winter storm seems to be trying to calm me.

His nose traces circles around my jugular as my body waves under his pin. I'm certainly not used to this position and I don’t know why I’m afraid to fight back. I’ve certainly fought men his size before.

He slowly licks his lips and finds my ear.

His soft, cold mouth touches my lobe and his dark voice reverberates my ear. “You have 3 choices for not listening to me, Astrid.” He drawls and shivers run across my skin.

He raises his head and his cat like, pale green eyes find mine. He lowers himself and our lips touch and my own desire ignites in my middle and I whimper more.

He presses his growing girth against my thigh and my breath stutters in a quiet moan. I don’t know what to think of this, but I do know he is filling me with something powerful and I can’t stop it.

Then my heart stops.

“I can eat your flesh.”

He opens his mouth and my eyes widen when a multitude of fangs fill his teeth. He runs his nose down my cheek to my neck. He pulls my head more and I feel his fangs gently touch my skin. I squeak out my fear as his breath hits my neck and the points of his teeth threaten to cut into me.

He raises his head and turns my eyes to him again.

“I can take your flesh.”

I stare at the large canine teeth of a lycan. He growls and his lowers his head to me. I know very well what those teeth can do and I start to shake.

He narrows his eyes and our noses touch. He seems to be studying my reactions to his intimidation.

“Or…” He leans down to my ear once again and what he says next hits my core. I didn’t think it would be possible through all this.

“I can make your flesh weak with ecstasy.”

My breath stutters and I let out a tiny whine as he pushes himself up and on me. His want is almost suffocating, but mine is becoming a close match. My hands grip the arms of his cold leather jacket and I feel his muscular, strong arms in it. My nails dig in as the grip on my hair loosens.

He moves to my lips. “You only get one.” He mumbles as he plays with them. My eyes turn to slits, my lips part and my arousal grows as his threat of a kiss tortures me. “Choose wisely.”

“Please…” I hitch. “I only need help.”

“I’m aware, snowflake. What I need you to understand is I will only help you provided you leave me the fuck alone.” He quietly growls.

“I can’t do that. They’re my people. It’s my brother.” I whisper.

His eyes look me over and I see them change. They soften just as tiny bit as our lips part a little more.

“You’re bravery is…surprising. You push buttons knowing I will kill you.” His eyes glow green and they remind me of the creature I saw on the hill.

I think it over and decide I won’t go down without a fight if he wants one. “Take me, then. In whatever form you choose because I will not leave my people abandoned to a monster.”

He seductively licks his lips again. “You think I’m a monster?”

“I don’t know you, but based on this encounter with you, I’d have to say yes.” I stare him down as he pulls back.

He jumps off me and paces around the room. I can see him struggling as I sit up and watch him run a hand up his face and into his hair. I turns around quick and steps to me. “What would it take to make you to go away?”

“Why? Why do you not want me with you?” I stand and confront him.

“Because…” He rubs his nape and looks at the floor like he’s embarrassed.

“Are you afraid of me? Afraid of what I am?” I tilt my head and study his curious reaction to me. I understand he may desire to lay with me, but I feel like there’s more to it than that.

“What?” He scrunches his face and looks me over. “Hardly.” He spins around and walks to the hole.

“Then what about me offends you so much? I can prove I can fight if that’s what you’re worried about. I can navigate, track. My hunting skills are impeccable…” I put all my skills on full display for him to ease his confusion.

He growls as he turns around. “No! Just stop!” He throws a hand out to me.

He pushes past me and crosses the room with irritated strides.

I turn, squint my eyes at his back and question him. “You…You called me snowflake. Why?” I whisper as I cross the wood floor.

He turns and flops his arm out to the side. “I-I don’t know. It just came out.”

I shake my head in disbelief. “No. It was deliberate. I can tell.” I turn my head slightly and eye him. “What are you hiding?”

He narrows his eyes. “Nothing.”

I chew the inside of my cheek and look him over. I cross my arms and stare at him in silence. I give him the look Christian always gives me when trying to pry something out.

“Nothing!” He barks and walks past me.

He stops, turns and throws his hands up. “Alright!” He takes big steps to me. “If I let you travel with me, will you stop staring at me like that?” He scowls.

“Staring at you like what?” I ask.

He sucks in a breath and leans close. “Like you’re reading my mind. Stop it. It’s…disturbing.”

I tilt my head. “You’re afraid I’ll find out you’re not as cold as you present yourself to be.”

He points to my nose. “Don’t. Don’t do that.”

“What? Find the truth?” I question with a touch of attitude. I’m starting to get the feeling he doesn’t want to hurt me.

“You don’t want the truth. Trust me.” He waves me off and sits on the couch.

So there is a truth behind the eyes.

“I should know who I’m fighting with. How am I to trust you?” I stand at his knees and look down at him.

“Just…get some sleep. We leave at dawn.” He grits and lays down.

“Fine.” I drop my pack and start to remove my clothing.

He shoots up in his seat. “What are you doing?” His eyes rake over me and fill with a bit of shock.

I unbutton my pants and pull those off. “Shifting. It’s too cold to sleep in skin.”

He lays back down slowly. “Oh.” He mumbles.

I call wind and shift. My snow white wolf takes in the pale man in black leather laying in the snow. She spins in a circle, lays down and tucks her nose in her white, fluffy tail.

Her blue eyes close for a moment, then open again. She watches Adam sleep and I feel that heat rise. Then I notice the red light being cast from my eyes.

I close my eyes and allow her to keep me warm against the mountains frigid temperatures.

Although, my power keeps me sufficiently warm, I almost wish Adam would shift and lay with me. I’ve never wanted to be close to a perfect stranger before.

His chest vibrates and he lays on his back. His arm covers his face and I see his defined stomach as his jacket falls open.

My heart stutters again and I’m left confused.

What does it all mean?


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