Bad Intentions: A Dark Hockey Bully Romance (Hellions of Hade Harbor Book 1)

I was living in a nightmare I couldn’t wake up from.

Last night, I’d thought a hundred times about going to my parents and begging them to reconsider. I thought about going and telling my father how aggressive Cayden had been toward me and how he’d threatened me. But I had no proof, and my father’s future and dreams rested on the arrogant psycho. The dreams I’d cost him.

In the morning, resigned and depressed, I headed down the hall toward the kitchen, briefly forgetting for a second that the spare room was now enemy territory.

I got two steps before strong hands grabbed me and hauled me inside. Cayden slammed the door and pushed me against it, the impact hard enough to wind me. I coughed, choking on my own panic as his hand landed on my mouth, sealing my protests inside.

“Good morning, little sis.”

He loomed over me, fresh out of the shower. He smelled like soap and something sweet, like honeysuckle. His short dark hair was still wet, and I couldn’t help but marvel at his beautiful features–the full mouth and high cheekbones, the strong jaw, the winged black eyebrows that gave him a hint of nobility. It was deeply unsettling that someone who looked and smelled like him could hide such malice inside. His beauty was nothing but a facade.

“Sleep well?” He grinned at me like he was in on a secret as I struggled against his hand. “I thought we should go over the ground rules, since we’re going to be living together and all. We wouldn’t want to rub each other the wrong way. Siblings shouldn’t fight.”

His mocking tone had me pushing against his iron-like chest. He tutted and only stepped closer. His hips pressed mine into the door. The ridge of his jeans pushed against my navel, uncomfortable and weirdly intimate.

He’d stepped so close, my hands were trapped against his chest, unable to struggle anymore. Just touching.

“Here’s what we’re going to do. Nod if you’re listening.” He moved my face up and down in a parody of agreement. He towered above me, looking more terrifying than ever.

“You’re not going to say anything to anyone at school about what you saw. You’re going to forget it. Don’t go running your mouth to anyone about the new kid who’s all beat up and scarred. If anyone says anything about that scar…I’ll know it was you.”

I stared up at him. His face was carefully blank, like he was hiding his emotions somewhere deep inside. I was starting to suspect it was all an act. He didn’t like to be seen and he didn’t like to be vulnerable, so he put up this facade of a guy who didn’t care. But I thought he did care. I thought he cared a lot.

“If anyone finds out…You’ll be on the hook for it. Do you get what that means?”

I swallowed hard, and his eyes dropped to my throat. He watched my neck, seeming fascinated by the movement. Slowly, he withdrew his hand from my mouth, letting me speak.

“I didn’t see anything.”

He grinned, but his eyes were cold. “We both know that isn’t true.”

“Don’t exaggerate your importance to me. I don’t care enough about you to talk about you behind your back.” I needed space, I couldn’t breathe. He was too close, and he smelled too good. His body was too strong in all the right places. It was overwhelming.

“Is that right?” His voice was eerily soft.

I stared stubbornly at his collarbones. He took my chin between his thumb and forefinger and tipped my face up, forcing me to meet his stormy gaze.

“You don’t think about me at all…Is that what you’re telling me, Lily?”

“Why would I?” I breathed, caught in the snare of his magnetism. The guy was a magician. Somehow, with a soft tone and touch, he could make me forget his threats and strong-arm tactics. Magic was the only explanation.

I wet my lips, and his eyes seized on the movement. Being this close to Cayden made me feel hot all over, like my skin was shrinking in on me, and I needed to peel it off.

“I’m not going to pretend I want you here, though. Find another place to stay. I don’t care if you play for the Hellions, just stay out my life.”

Cayden’s mouth stretched into another lazy grin, but this one looked more amused.

“No, I don’t think I will. I think I’m going to be right here when you wake up, when you sleep…I think you and I are only going to get closer, so get used to that fact.”

“I’ll tell my dad everything then. How you threatened me, how you grabbed me…this here right now – all of it!”

Cayden was nodding, looking unintimidated. “You do that, if you feel you have to. If you do, though, then I guess he can kiss his promotion goodbye. He’s getting older, almost at make or break time. I guess he’ll be happy enough staying at Hade Harbor High forever…high school coach is almost the same as college level, right?”

A feeling of powerlessness lodged in my throat, and I wanted to cry.

Cayden’s grin turned predatory as he leaned in and stuck his face in the crook of my neck, breathing deeply. “Don’t worry, it’s not a decision you have to make. I’ll make it for you, Lil. That’s what you like, isn’t it?”

Cold nerves spread across my skin. What the hell was he talking about?

“To be clear, I know about California and how guilty you feel about wanting to escape your loving, suffocating parents. I know all about how you resent their smothering love.”

“How—” I started before biting off the words. My journal. It was the only way he could know. I hadn’t even thought about it last night with the stress of Cayden moving in for a whole year. I hadn’t hidden it. I hadn’t done anything.

Cayden shifted back, his eyes rapt on my face, drinking in my emotions. He bent down so his face was level with mine. There was no escaping him.

“You read my journal,” I managed to get out. A hysterical scream threatened to burst forth. My blood raced with panic. Then, a new thought occurred to me. If he’d read about California, then he’d read a lot, maybe even the last entries…the dreams.

He laughed when my eyes widened, the realization crashing into me.

“That’s right…I read it all. It was riveting, the best thing I’ve read all year.”

I swallowed down my humiliation. I couldn’t let it take over right now. “So, you really came into my room when I was sleeping and looked through my stuff? Are you insane?”

Cayden laughed. “Now you’re getting it. I came into your room, poked around your things, and got a little peek into that twisted head of yours. Do you really like that stuff? Is that what gets you wet?”

My words strangled in my throat, my face heating to nuclear levels. My diary was full of random dreams, fantasies about wild things that I’d never be allowed to experience in my humdrum life. I was pretty sure other girls didn’t dream of running through town and being hunted down by a man who would take you no matter what, but then maybe they had some sort of freedom in their lives. Maybe they hadn’t been raised to be the good girl, the straight-A student, with zero alternatives. Maybe they didn’t carry the weight of their parents’ failed dreams on their shoulders.

Great, so now I was going to blame my overprotective parents for my kinky virgin imagination. And that last entry…it was damning. For years, my depraved little dreams had starred a faceless man in black, nobody real. My dream man hadn’t been real until the last entry. The subject of the last entry stood over me, satisfaction in his gaze. I could barely meet his eyes.

“So, you like stories where the girl is followed and chased…hunted down and fucked without mercy…” he trailed off and gave a raw chuckle. “It’s always the quiet ones, isn’t it?”

He reached up for my glasses. I tried to turn my head, but he brought another huge palm up and laid it like a necklace across my throat. Not pushing hard, but the pressure was enough to warn me not to move.

“You dreamed of me, Lily. Did you dream of me touching you like this?” His voice was a rasp.

I had the feeling he wasn’t joking around anymore. He was stone-cold serious. My heart pounded so hard, I was surprised he couldn’t hear it.

I shook my head, feeling a mulish need to deny everything. No. He can’t know. I can’t face him again if he’s really read that. I didn’t realize I’d spoken out loud until he answered.

“But I did read it, and what’s more…I’ve got the photos to prove it.”

My heart sank.

“I see you, Lillian. You saw me…and now, I’ve seen you,” he said quietly.

“I didn’t see anything,” I whispered.

“It doesn’t matter. It’s too late to go back. Now I’ve seen inside.” He tapped a finger to my forehead. “I won’t hesitate to let the whole school, and your parents, know what lies beneath this straight-A exterior. Got it? Don’t forget that I’m at the top of the food chain at HHH, and you’re at the bottom. Don’t make me have to remind you.”

“What are you going to do? Hurt me?” I snapped at him, lunging for my glasses, only to have him squeeze my neck a little harder.

“Whatever turns you on,” Cayden murmured. “Feel free to let me know exactly what that is, or I can just read about it.”

“I fucking hate you,” I swore at him.

He nodded. “That’s smart, but it doesn’t matter. You also want me, and thanks to your little dream journal, we both know it.”

He stepped back, releasing me so suddenly I staggered forward, still half-blind without my glasses.

“Now that we’ve established who’s in charge here, let’s not be late for school. Before you go, and just to remind you of our relationship, I want you to wear these.”

He pulled something out of his pocket and put it in my hand. I stared down at the blurry shape.

The next moment, he carefully slid my glasses back onto my nose, making sure the arms sat perfectly on the tops of my ears. My panties came into focus. Yesterday’s panties that had been in the laundry basket. Heat scorched my cheeks as I turned them over in my hands. The scent reached me first. Earthy musk with a hint of salt.

Had he…come in them? I had zero experience with what a man’s cum smelled like, but I read a lot. It couldn’t be. Surely not. I blinked up at him. He was watching me with bemusement.

“Put them on and get a move on, or we’ll be late.”

“You can’t be serious?”

“I couldn’t be more serious. From now on, you’ll smell like me, so whenever you move, you’ll remember who owns you.”

I shook my head, embarrassment and something else hot and weird moving rapidly in my belly. “No, I won’t do it.”

He leaned in and touched my lips with a finger. “It either goes here, here”—he tapped the panties and then moved his finger to my hips, tapping between my legs— “or here. Your choice.”

The heat of his finger burned through my demure denim skirt.

“You have five seconds to decide.”

“What?”

I panicked as he started to count down and moved a hand to his belt, unbuckling it in one fluid movement. He was serious.

“Wait,” I panted, shoving my hand under my skirt before I could question my sanity, and tugging my panties down. They fell to the floor at my feet, and I kicked them off as Cayden continued to count down. I stepped into the other panties, the ones with his damp cum on them, and shimmied them up, flashing him in the process.

“One.”

His voice was tight and his eyes darker than I’d ever seen them when I finally glanced at him. He was still holding his belt, as if watching me had distracted him from everything else. A muscle ticked in his strong jaw, the only sign of life. The tension between us was a thick miasma. I was scared. I was turned on. That was the cold, hard truth. Fucked up as it might be, this was the sexiest thing that had ever happened to me. The sexiest, and most infuriating.

“Let’s go, before Coach comes looking for us,” Cayden said, his voice ground out of stone.

I nodded, every inch of skin where those panties touched me, burning. How the hell was I supposed to walk around all day with his cum against my skin?

He has pictures of your journal.

Right. I had no choice.

It shouldn’t make me feel better, but it did.

School was a reprieve, since I only had one class with Cayden. However, the student body was rife with rumors about him. I’d heard them all today, from him being the bastard son of a famous Maine hockey player to being in hiding from the mob.

“Wow, so much hype, but then I get it. He’s hot, and new.” Eve played with the straw in her strawberry milk.

The cafeteria was packed, and I was pretty sure most of the conversations were about Cayden West.

“He might be hot, but he’s a menace,” I muttered, biting into an apple. My cum filled panties still felt damp. I was probably paranoid. Surely, they were dry by now. Regardless, I’d been certain I could feel him against my skin all morning. The thought was doing something to me. Something I had no experience with.

“Girls like bad boys.” Eve shrugged.

“Not this girl.”

She raised an eyebrow at me. “I guess that’s good, since you two are living together.”

“Yeah, that reminds me, can I come stay over tonight? I really need some space.”

“Already?”

I didn’t get to answer, as a tray plopped down on the table beside mine. Bubblegum-pink nails curved around the tray like talons.

“Can I sit with you, Bug?”

Selena slid into the empty seat beside me before I could refuse, and Winter perched on the only other free seat, beside Eve. The rest of their entourage crowded behind them. There weren’t any seats for them, so it looked like they were just going to stand.

“Bug, I’m talking to you. She’s completely zoned out,” Selena complained, waving a hand in front of my face.

“I’m here. Sorry, what?”

Her irritated expression melted clownishly into a conspiring grin. “I was asking you the deal with Cade. You’ll have the inside scoop, considering you’re Coach’s daughter.”

“I don’t know anything about him.” My flat tone pierced a hole in Selena’s pleasant mask.

“Don’t lie. He’s living with you; you must know something. What’s he like at home?”

“I don’t know. We don’t speak,” I ground out.

Winter watched me across the table, her icy-blue eyes nearly the same shade as Cayden’s, except hers held an arctic chill that never seemed to shift.

Selena snorted. “Well, that I can believe, why would he talk to a loser like you?”

Warmth heated my cheeks as her entourage of hangers-on snickered behind us.

“Don’t be a bitch, Selena. It’s not a good look,” Eve interjected.

“Let’s go. It smells like boiled jockstraps in this place,” Winter muttered, casting a suspicious look at the kitchens.

“We aren’t leaving until Bug tells me something interesting about Cayden. She’s clearly trying to keep all the gossip to herself. She doesn’t want to give anyone an edge in the competition to score the new Ice God first, but I don’t take no for an answer.”

While Selena had been talking, I’d become aware of a growing quiet surrounding our table. Either everyone was listening to our conversation or something else had shut them up. Winter stared over my shoulder. When Eve settled back and smirked at Selena, I knew. We weren’t alone anymore.

“That’s funny. I don’t take no for an answer either, do I, Lillian?” Cayden’s deep voice danced across my nerves, making me even jumpier.

Selena shot up, flushing. “Cayden! Hi. We were just talking about you.”

I could feel Cayden right behind me now. His presence seemed to radiate through me. He was right there.

“Were you? What were you saying?” he asked, nonchalantly sliding around Selena to lower himself into her vacated seat.

That brought him right next to me. He sat with his back to the table, facing me. I stared straight ahead at Eve, ignoring the hot feeling of Cayden’s eyes on the side of my face.

“I-I was just suggesting to Lily that she throw a party to welcome you to Hade Harbor.” Selena was a smooth liar; I’d give her that.

“No need to worry, Selena. Beckett’s got that covered,” Marcus said from somewhere behind me.

I was pretty sure that all four Ice Gods stood around us now. The silence in the cafeteria was deafening.

“Oh, good…” Selena trailed off.

Cayden still watched me. “So, is that all you were talking about? Nothing juicier?”

I shook my head stiffly. Eve raised her eyebrows at me. I was being weird, but I couldn’t help it. I felt like a butterfly being pinned to a board. I was impaled on the needle of my journal, just waiting for Cayden to pull my wings off in front of everyone.

Cayden picked up Selena’s lunch tray and handed it to her. “Here you go.”

Winter blinked at him, clearly surprised by the move, but grabbed her own tray and stood, getting the message.

“Are you sitting here?” Selena asked after a moment of stunned silence.

“Looks like it,” Cayden said.

Beckett and Marcus rounded the table and loomed over the people sitting farther down until they moved. They sat opposite me and Cayden, next to Eve. Her brother, Asher, swung into the recently vacated seat to the other side of Cayden.

Selena clung on, clearly not believing her eyes. “Um, I’d love to eat with you, get to know you better,” she said, pasting on a winning smile. “There’s a table over on the side where we usually sit.”

Cayden had turned his attention to his tray. “I like this table just fine.”

Selena hung on, clearly not getting the hint. “But there aren’t any free seats at this table,” she pointed out.

I fought a smile as Cayden cracked the lid of his bottle of water, shot a dismissive glance at the resident queen bee, and shrugged. “That sounds like a you problem,” he tossed at her before focusing his attention back on his friends and food.

After an agonizingly long minute where Selena stood behind him, seeming to consider either yanking me out of my seat or stabbing Cayden in the back with a plastic knife, she turned on her heel and left, her entourage following like a gaggle of shocked geese.

“That was something,” Eve muttered in her food.

“Someone needs to knock Selena down a peg and remind her that she doesn’t rule shit around here,” Asher said. He glanced over at me. “Was she mean to you, Lily?”

Cayden tensed beside me. I shook my head. Asher nodded and went back to eating. As Eve’s brother, Asher might be the Ice God I knew the best, but that didn’t say much. I pretty much stayed out his way. That being said, I knew that he looked out for me a little, as an extension of his sister. Since I was her only friend, he no doubt wanted to make sure nothing upset her, by upsetting me.

“So, Bug, what’s it like sharing a bathroom with this guy?” Marcus said, giving me a grin.

I shrugged.

“Come on! You’ve got to have the inside scoop. Rumor has it he doesn’t shower with any of us because we’d be too intimidated by the sight of him naked to perform in a game…is that true?”

I coughed with surprise at the topic, and water went down the wrong way. I kept coughing, my face turning hot. A large hand landed hard on my back.

“Breathe,” Cayden murmured.

I sucked in a long, slow breath, trying to ignore the desperate urge to cough. I continued to take long, deep breaths as the coughing spell subsided. Cayden’s hand stayed on my back. Not smacking it anymore, just resting there. His palm was huge, spanning the entire space between my bra straps. Everything about the guy was just big.

Marcus leaned in and spoke in a dramatically loud whisper. “It’s the opposite, isn’t it? It’s a micropenis.”

Cayden’s hand was still on my back, and now, it made slow circles, sending a confusing heat through my body.

Cayden kicked him under the table, and Marcus sank back, cupping his knee. “Ow, motherfucker!”

“Are you ready to go? I’m ready,” I stammered to Eve, pushing my chair out and standing.

Eve nodded, looking a little taken aback but getting up. I could always depend on my best friend to follow me, even if it meant abandoning half our lunches.

“Leaving so soon? Don’t worry, you can tell me the shower thing later, alone…” Marcus called to me, laughter in his voice.

I grabbed Eve’s hand, and we moved away from the table.

“Leave her alone. She’s Coach’s daughter. Off-limits, you know that,” Asher muttered to his friend as we left.

We wove through the tables, and students I hardly knew stared at me as we went. Everyone was curious about Cayden, and now me, too, by extension. The new hotshot was living with me. Everyone would have questions about him. We got to the doorway and waited for someone to pass through. I took one last glance over my shoulder.

The Ice Gods were deep in conversation, laughing and joking as they ate. All except one.

Cayden’s eyes met mine, sending a shiver through me like a lightning strike.