Bad Intentions: A Dark Hockey Bully Romance (Hellions of Hade Harbor Book 1)

The rest of the day after gym passed in a blur of humiliation. I kept my head down and powered through. Luckily, I was pretty used to being ridiculed, though usually it was just girls like Selena who threw barbs my way. Now, everyone was looking, and some of the teachers, too. Hopefully the principal’s story about it being a prank would get around quick.

A kind janitor got rid of the printouts quickly, but I was sure people like Selena had stashed them away to torment me with later.

When I got to my room that night and flopped down on my bed, I felt like a hundred years had passed since I’d left it this morning. I was a different person than the Lily who’d headed off to school, happy and light.

I closed my eyes and dozed, the terrible day pressing me down and wearing me out. I just wanted to sleep and pretend that none of it had happened.

Later, a knock at my door woke me.

“Lily, sweetheart, it’s dinner time,” my mom called through the door.

“I’m not hungry. I don’t feel well. I just want to sleep,” I called back.

She was quiet for a long, torturous moment. “If you’re sure. We’re here if you want to talk.”

Oh God. She knew. My dad must have heard about all of it: the bike, fighting with Cayden, maybe even the journal entry. No, if she’d heard about the journal entry, she’d be having it out with me about California. It couldn’t be that. It had to be the bike thing.

I heard Cayden come to his room later and the door close. It felt excruciating to know he was right next door, feet away, and yet oceans apart. He blamed me, he’d hurt me. He was the first boy I’d ever kissed, and the first I’d ever slept with, and now, he was the first boy to break my heart as well. He was really ticking off all the boxes for me.

He blamed me and wouldn’t even hear me out, but that didn’t change the truth. I didn’t leak anything about that old newspaper article to anyone and I knew Eve wouldn’t have, either. I sat up in bed and reached for my laptop. Opening a browser, I prepared to dive deep into Midnight Falls’ past.

I might never be able to forgive what Cayden had done to me, but that didn’t mean I couldn’t clear my name.

I didn’t out him, but someone did, and I was going to find out who.

The next few days at school sucked. People talked about me wherever I went, despite the fact Principal Smith had ordered them not to. Thankfully, my father had believed that it was a silly prank gone wrong. That, at the end of the day, was the only thing that mattered. If I felt like my parents had read my words, and believed them, I couldn’t stand it.

My locker was vandalized daily with quotes from my journal, and wherever I went, there was a barrage of notes pelted at me, all with my own words reflected back at me. Teachers confiscated them in class, their faces turning pink after reading them, before ordering other students to stop. Selena and her cronies were the worst of the bunch, predictably – well, all except Winter, who seemed bored by the entire thing, as per usual.

Eve stuck to my side like glue, but she couldn’t be there all the time. My backpack got stolen at least once a day and ended up in all kinds of odd places, like the school roof or the bottom of the pool. I lost assignments that way, textbooks and countless notepads full of my neat rows of words.

Cayden walked around the school with his head held high, the Ice Gods at his back, and stared anyone down who dared to mention the newspaper article about him. He was the hunter, and I was the prey. I had no power at HHH, and I felt it more acutely than ever.

In gym on Thursday, Selena kicked the bullying up a notch. We were playing dodgeball, and most people were playing as unenthusiastically as I was. It was late afternoon, and no one felt like trying. The gym session was at the same time as another class, and the teacher had split us up by gender. Cayden was there, across the other side of the hall, playing basketball with some guys.

I wasn’t paying attention to the game. I was far too focused on Cayden. I had barely looked at him all week, and now, I could watch him unobserved. Was I the pathetic girl heartbroken over lack of attention from her bully? Yes, it turned out, I was that fucked up. Still, knowing that he believed I’d betrayed him burned at me. I wanted to prove my innocence, just so I could see his expression when he realized what he’d done in retaliation had been completely unwarranted. I imagined all sorts of reactions, but deep down, I feared that he wouldn’t care either way. He’d said I was dead to him, that I didn’t exist, and this week it had certainly felt like that.

“Hey! Watch out!”

A sharp shout came from my left as I tore my eyes from Cayden and focused back on the game. Selena had just taken a shot, and like the bitch she was, aimed right for my face. It was too late to move. I only managed to shut my eyes as the ball sailed toward my face and met my nose with a sickening crunch. Pain radiated through my head as the teacher blew the whistle.

“Selena, sit down over there,” she barked.

“It was an accident! I didn’t know Lily wasn’t really playing, just staring moodily around, daydreaming.”

Her cruel words sent a ripple of chuckles through the rest of the girls watching.

I was so over it. I clamped a hand to my nose as a rush of warmth moved downward quickly. Blood dripped out and splattered my white T-shirt.

“Lily, do you need to see the nurse?” the gym teacher called, distracted by another student asking her something.

I shook my head. “Nope. I’ll just go to the bathroom.” The last thing I needed was to end up in the nurse’s office with tampons stuffed up my nose.

I whirled on my heel and ran to the girls’ bathroom.

“Sorry, Bug!” Selena called behind me, laughter in her voice.

I got to the girls’ bathroom and stared in the mirror. My nose was really gushing.

Grabbing a few paper towels, I wadded them up and held them beneath the flow, then tilted my head back. Was that the right thing to do for a bloody nose?

“Ready to give up, Bug?”

Cayden’s deep voice sent me spinning around, nearly slipping on the wet floor. Blood ran down my arm from where the paper towel had slipped.

He leaned against the wall of the bathroom, arms folded, one foot braced against the wall, looking as uncaring as could be.

“Give up what?” I asked, my voice all muffled.

“Your declaration of war against me… wouldn’t it be better just to pretend that the other doesn’t exist?”

He pushed off the wall and approached me, tutting as he took in the mess I was making of my face. He rested a heavy hand on the back of my neck, and I backpedaled, trying to get away. He simply tightened his grip and guided my head down so the blood was no longer going down the back of my throat.

“Lean forward for a nosebleed, not back,” he muttered, grabbing a fresh bunch of paper towels with his other hand and pushing away the bloodied ones I clutched in my fist. He held a clean paper towel firmly under my nose, the red smearing against his fingers immediately.

“It’s getting on you,” I muttered, unsure what to make of him right now.

“I’m a hockey player. You think I’m grossed out by blood?”

“Nose blood,” I reminded him.

“Any blood. It doesn’t bother me, and besides, I’ve shed blood from far more intimate places from you, Bug.”

I reared back and glared up at him. “Don’t.”

He smirked and raised an eyebrow at me. “Don’t remind you of how we both cleaned your virgin blood off my cock after I fucked you in a room just like this?”

I swallowed hard. The look in his eyes was difficult to read.

“Yeah, well, as I seem to remember, I wasn’t the only one getting their cherry popped on that occasion. Maybe that should be the next rumor to go around school,” I threatened him.

He only smirked more. “Good luck getting anyone to believe that.”

“But it’s true,” I pointed out mulishly.

“Yes, and truth has little to do with what people will believe. Put your head back a little now,” he instructed.

I followed his orders, just because he seemed to have stopped the bleeding, and there weren’t many ways to resist his strong grip.

He wet a tissue under the tap and wiped the crusted blood from my lips.

“Yeah, you’re right about that. I’m telling you the truth about that newspaper article, and yet you don’t believe me. The truth really is meaningless, it only matters what people believe.” My words were quietly defeated. Cayden paused.

His eyes met mine.

“I’d respect you more if you just owned it, Bug. Confess, and maybe the truth will set you free,” he murmured.

His words pissed me off. I grabbed the tissue from his hand, his gentle touch at odds with his cruel words, and jerked my face away.

“Right, and what good would that do me?”

“Once the sinner has confessed, they can repent…” He stroked a finger along my chin, wiping a streak of watery blood from my skin. “I could be inventive with the methods of repentance, and all the trouble at school would stop.”

I met his eyes in the mirror, my heart thumping erratically. Gathering my courage, I shook my head.

“I’m not lying to make my life easier. I didn’t tell anyone, and I will never pretend that I did. One day, you’ll realize that you punished the wrong person.” I threw out the red-soaked paper towels and turned to him. “I’d like to think you’ll feel bad when you find out that what you did to me was under false assumptions, but I’m not sure you’re capable of it.”

Then I stepped around him and strode from the bathroom, head held high. I felt Cayden’s eyes on me the entire way.