Aynsefian

I need to get out of this building. If I can, I have to find Myralin. She’s my only hope. Then perhaps I can figure out where I am, how I got here, and how to get back to where we were, in the middle of that Aynsefian city, on the ground floor of the central building, in the back room of that auditorium, or whatever it was.

I like that I’m able to trace my way back to something tangible. It helps me to feel as if I haven’t totally lost my mind.

I turn back to my parents. “I’m sorry, I just don’t understand you. I think maybe the problem is me. I’ll just see if I can find that lady who brought me in here. Maybe she can help and then I can figure out what is going on. I’ll just be a moment…”

I don’t give them a chance to answer. My last vision of them is their bewildered faces, staring after me and frowning at my confused state and my rush to leave them.

I turn on my heels and head back out the door of this small building. It’s nice and bright outside. The sky is a pleasing shade of blue. The trees, the grass and the cliff walls look the same as they did before I went into the building. This is reassuring.

Except that I can’t see Myralin anywhere.

“Myralin!” I call. I don’t care what happens as a result of drawing attention to myself.

“Myralin!!” Even louder this time. I turn back to the building. I’d have expected my parents to emerge from it by now. They’d respond to the tinge of desperation in my voice, even if they didn’t understand what I’m saying. No doubt about it. But now they’re not around either.

It’s getting dark. Quite rapidly. My hearing is going again and I can’t feel my clothes any more.

I’m heading back to the void. I hope I can emerge somewhere familiar this time. Will I even emerge this time?

I know what I’ll do. I remember the pose I was in before all of this weirdness happened. I’ll try to sit the way I was sitting when Zarasena and I were assembling those metallic pieces. I was sitting on my left thigh, both legs together and my feet pointing behind me. I drop to the ground while I can still partially feel my body. I assume the same position, hoping it will take me back.

It doesn’t.

I’m now in the void again. I exist, but I can’t sense anything. Time stops. Or rather, I just can’t sense it. I feel like I’m part of infinity, but there’s nothing for me to observe while I’m here. In fact, here is the wrong word. I’m not anywhere. I’ve called it the void, but it’s not a place. It’s a state of being.

The problem with states of being is that they are supposed to be for finite amounts of time. This state has no time. I’m outside of time. Again, it’s mildly blissful. Nonetheless, I wonder when it will end.

Then it does. It ends. The light slowly comes back. I can feel my legs again, just barely. The faintest hum rings in my ears.

In front of me is another vague figure. As much as I’d like to see Myralin again and ask her more questions, I really hope it’s Zarasena this time. I want to go back to Nikse and get out of here. I’m starting to feel fear and I don’t like it. A coldness begins to fill my lower torso. I can sense my heart beating at an elevated rate.

Am I going back? Or am I not?

The figure in front of me looks more and more like Zarasena as it becomes less hazy and more filled with light. In a few more moments I’m sure.

It is Zarasena.

Oh thank heavens for that. She’s not frozen any more. She’s just staring at me in disbelief.

We’re not back in the auditorium, though.

We’re outside somewhere, in a small clearing, in a forest. Trees with rough bark and small dark green leaves tower above us on all sides. The light green grass is soft beneath us.

I don’t even dare speak. Zarasena has no such qualms.

“Axin…” she begins. “Where the fuck are we?”

“I…” I begin. This time I’m not overawed by her. I’m just shaken by what has happened to us. At least she is speaking normally, and is as bewildered as I am. That means this is real. I think.

“I really have no idea. I thought…” I trail off, trying to find the words.

She narrows her eyes at me. “Did you have any strange visions just now? Did things go black for you?” she asks.

“Yes,” I say. “I was in the black void with no sound or touch for a while. Twice.”

Zarasena nods emphatically. “And what did you see in between?”

“Weird stuff. My parents. Myr… I mean a lady I recognised from a dream I had back when I first… when you… when I was first on the surface of this planet.”

“I know, I know. I’m sorry again. So were you dreaming, or was it real? Just now, I mean?”

“I’m pretty certain it was real.”

“Yeah, me too! It just didn’t make the remotest bit of sense!” Zarasena is as animated as I’ve seen her in the short time that we’ve known each other. A light breeze picks up, and the dark leaves rustle behind her. The weather is quite pleasant, and I can feel the sun on me.

A thought occurs to me. I look up to the sky.

There it is. The mini sun. We’re still in Aynsefian. We’ve been physically transported, I think. Zarasena notices too.

“The mini sun thingy. We’re still here in the cave. Somewhere.”

“Yeah,” I say. “But where?”

“Dunno. But anyway, you saw a strange lady, and you met your parents? How?”

“Well, I knew this lady somehow, and she was unhelpful when I asked questions, but my parents were speaking a strange language. That bothered me. Then the lady disappeared, just like in my previous dream.”

“Me too! That happened to me too! I mean the language part.” Zarasena gets slightly more excited again. Her voice is almost breathless.

“Oh really?”

“Yes! Only it was my brother. Oh it was so great to see him! I nearly lost my shit right then and there. But when he talked to me, I couldn’t understand a single word. I’d tell him I couldn’t understand him and then he’d look at me in that way he always would, as if I were joshing with him. I have to say, it annoyed me. I so wanted to talk to him.”

“Did you think maybe you’d died? Because, um, you know…”

“Yeah, I know. It’s okay. The thought did cross my mind. But no, we haven’t died. It feels wrong. Aynsefian wouldn’t kill us, y’know?”

“That’s what I thought! An advanced society such as this wouldn’t do that to us. Even the remnants of it. So,” I ask, changing the subject slightly, “what happened with Sunzirani?” I’m pleased I remembered his name. Zarasena will like that, I’m hoping. She doesn’t even seem to notice.

“Nothing. I asked him a few things, and each time he responded in that weird tongue. Then he led me to a building, I went inside, and he vanished.”

“Was that building like the ones back in that village we first saw, at the base of the cliff?” I’m hoping she says yes.

“I don’t know. I couldn’t take my eyes off Sunzirani. I just stared at him the whole time, drinking him in.”

“Then what?”

“I went inside…” she rolls her eyes upwards and to the left for a moment. I notice again how brown they are. I’m also comparing them to Myralin’s. I’m torn now, in doing this. I’m not sure which woman I like more. It’s mystifying that my asexuality has ended like it has.

“…got distracted for a moment at the weird furniture in the building, and then he was gone. I wasn’t sad, really, I was just happy to have the opportunity to see him again after so long. Then I came back outside and everything went black again. Now I’m here. With you.”

The way she said “with you” sends a shiver through me. For a moment I wish she’d add “forever” to the end of those two words. I try to focus away from such thoughts. We have a dilemma to solve. I also don’t even know why I’m focussing on unlikely scenarios when I don’t even know how to tell how I feel. Or even if I should, given that I barely know her.

Zarasena begins to rise to her feet. I follow suit.

“We should… we should try to find someone. Anyone,” I suggest.

Zarasena regards me with a sideways look. I hope she’s not going to call me “Fernea” again. I hate it when she does that.

“Yeah, but where?” she asks, not really asking.

“That way?” I say, pointing over the tops of the trees to the cliff walls I can see behind them.

She swivels quickly, her wavy reddish hair swinging across her shoulders as she does. I hate that I’m noticing this. Our situation is grave and I’m suddenly obsessed with females. It’s as if a door has been opened in my mind and the light is streaming in, illuminating the darkness, so that I can see everything in its full glory. The problem is that I’m currently blinded by the light and can’t see properly.

Zarasena turns back to me.

“Yeah!” she says, enthusiastically. “Those cliffs at least look partly familiar. What have we got to lose?”

And so we start walking. There is a path out of this clearing, heading in the direction of the cliffs.

We’ve only been walking a minute or so, with barely time to continue our conversation, when the forest clears, revealing a cluster of buildings. They’re the same ones as before, surrounding the pool at the base of the cliff. I can even see the mausoleum as well. There’s only one major point of difference this time.

There are people walking around amongst the buildings.