Aynsefian

“Zarasena…” I say.

“Yes Axin?” she pulls away from me slightly, looking up at me with those brown eyes. I stare into them, taking the ultimate risk with my next words.

“We’re in a bad situation here, but I’d be a lot happier if you’d kiss me?”

She’s not going to reject me now. Is she?

She appears to be thinking about it.

Not for long.

She leans in and our lips meet. Warmth floods through me from her lips and lights my entire soul. My world is only her. Everything else fades and all I can think, as we kiss and kiss is how nice her hair is to touch, and how great her body feels against mine. I’m just now slightly annoyed that it’s so cold here and there’s nowhere warm to lay down with her.

Well, maybe there is.

I have to say something first, though.

I pull away, looking back into her brown eyes again. “I love you, Zarasena.”

“I love you too, Axin.” Her eyes have a glazed over look that is probably equal parts tiredness and joy that she has found me.

There. I feel it. She feels joy at kissing me. The words she just spoke are the truth. I am amazed at how this has all come about, that I’m wanted, or more specifically, loved, by someone as wonderful as she is.

“I can’t believe that a week or so ago I hated you with everything I have. Now I just want to die with you.”

“We might not die here, Axin,” she says, dreamily, still staring up and looking into my eyes.

This is so nice. I can just stare and stare into her eyes, possibly forever and never look away. I must be smiling. She’s smiling back at me. It’s a glorious feeling. Her body is still pressed against mine.

It’s still freezing, though. We have to do something. Anything.

I reach back for a thought I had a little while ago before we traded I-love-yous.

We might be able to lay down somewhere. The moss: it starts well before the creek appears. It’s softer than the hard sandy ground we’re currently on, and it will probably be warmer, with heat transfer. It’s our only option.

“I have an idea,” I say, turning away from her slightly towards the cave interior. “Let’s head inwards a bit. There is soft moss on the ground not far from here, assuming of course we’re in the same cave. We can lay down there and maybe be a bit warmer.”

I look back at her, meeting her eyes again.

“Okay,” she says, calmly and gently. I have never heard this tone from her before. Well, I haven’t heard it in the week and a bit that I’ve known her.

We turn, our arms linked together. This feels nice too. We start walking.

“I think it might only be a hundred metres or so before the moss starts. We should have enough residual light from outside at that distance.”

“Okay,” she says, again, softly. She leans into me a little, almost placing her head against my shoulder as we walk. My heart swells at this. She sees me as a form of strength and shelter. She’s more serene, far more, than I’ve ever seen her. I do miss the lively, whimsical Zarasena, I must admit. But I’ll take this version over that one any day.

As we walk, pressing against each other, the darkness grows. I can’t see the creek, but I think I can see the beginnings of the moss. I can see a large, stationary, dark shape further in, but it’s hard to tell what it is. It’s probably just a part of the cave wall.

We reach the first growths of moss. It has a familiar crunch under my feet. I know I can eat it, too, but strangely I’m not hungry, even though the only thing I’ve eaten since we’ve been in the real Aynsefian society is a handful of berries and a small snack before we went into the court room. Did they do something to our hunger triggers, somehow?

We walk a little farther in, to ensure there is adequate moss under our feet. “Here,” I say, “this spot should be good enough.”

I’m not letting Zarasena go for a second. I carefully lower her down to the ground, moving with her by placing a knee down first and not letting her go. She is completely letting me control this. Previously I might have felt unworthy, but now I feel strong and of value. She’s done that to me. I want to talk about my feelings with her, but it will have to wait for later.

If there is a later.

“I’m tired Axin.” Her eyes are closing already. She rolls a little, laying mostly on top of me. I don’t mind. I’ll lay on the firm surface and be something soft that she can put her head on.

I can’t see her face, partially because it’s mostly dark, but also because she has it buried in my left shoulder. The same one I hurt when I fell somewhere near here a few days ago. Her hair brushes my face delightfully. It’s so soft.

“I’m tired too,” I say, feeling it. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I know it’s not wise to fall asleep, but I let myself do it anyway. As I do, the second last thought I have is that I might not wake up this time. The last thought I have is that at least I am in the arms of a beautiful and desirable woman who loves me.

I lose consciousness. My dreams are indistinct. I can’t make anything out. There is some disturbance to my sleep, but not enough to fully wake me. There is movement. There is lifting. It’s part of the dream, I think. I fall back asleep. Things are nice now. I’m warm and comfortable. This state is a pleasant one. I don’t want it to end. I know I haven’t died. That is good. So where am I?

I open my eyes slightly. It’s dark in here. I’m in a small room. I open my eyes further. This room is homely, with pleasant but strangely backward, ancient looking furniture. A woman sits across from me in a small chair, working with some cloth and a needle. I don’t recognise her. She hasn’t noticed that I’ve opened my eyes.

My first thought is for Zarasena. Where is she? I don’t care about anything else. I hate waking without her. I want to know that she’s safe.

My anxiety is trying to keep me awake, but my body and mind don’t have the energy. I fall asleep again.

When I wake later, the woman that was with me before is gone. I’m alone. There is still no sign of Zarasena. I try to move. I can’t, very easily. I’m covered in heavy blankets. Now I realise what has happened.

I’ve either got hypothermia, or I’m recovering from it.

I’m still very tired. My mind wants to get up, but my body doesn’t. I must find Zarasena. I withdraw my right arm from underneath the blankets and pull them aside with effort. It’s a little cold, being exposed to the air inside this room, but it’s not too bad. I’m still wearing the full Aynsefian outfit, with the boots. Whoever rescued us has at least had the decency to leave my clothes on.

I swing slowly to a sitting position. I feel dazed and lightheaded. There is a ceramic cup of water at my bedside. I pick it up and drink all of it, not realising how thirsty I was.

There’s a door in the far wall. I shuffle over to it and open it. I step out into a quaint looking living area that is well-lit compared to the room I was just in. There is a soft looking white couch in the centre of the room, along with a couple of armchairs of similar construction. A small wooden table sites between the couches, reaching to about knee height. Some books and metallic ornaments fill a shelf on the far wall. There are two large crystal windows on either wall and a front door with a smaller crystal window next to it. Outside all of the windows is some appealing greenery, lit up beautifully by a light source that I can’t see from here.

In one of the white fabric armchairs sits the same woman I saw when I woke earlier. She turns as she hears me shuffle into the room.

“Oh! Oh. You’re awake. Are you okay? You shouldn’t be up yet. Please go back to bed.” Her words are kind and caring. The contrast between her and the rest of the Aynsefian people could not be starker. This woman seems to care about my wellbeing. She’s also not treating me like a second-class citizen.

I stare at her groggily. I want to speak but I’m too tired to do so.

“Sorry, I should introduce myself. My name is Erishijea, and I’m your carer. I’m glad we found you when we did.” Her face shows genuine concern and the warmth in her green eyes is a welcome sight. Her straight sandy blonde hair is tied up at the back. She’s wearing the typical Aynsefian once piece white outfit, but it’s more well-worn than the ones I saw back in the city. It looks like she’s had it for years. It’s still in good condition, though. It’s just a bit tired.

“Thank you,” I croak. The water I took in hasn’t helped my vocal chords much. “Thank you for saving us. I am Axin. I would love to know where my companion Zarasena is.”

It was an effort putting all those words together.

“Oh. Yes of course. She is in the next room.”

I don’t even respond to Erishijea. I start moving towards the other door. Erishijea jumps up quickly, quite quickly, and bars the way. She’s not aggressive. She has reason for her actions and compassion is clear in her body language and the softness in the way she’s looking at me. I’m immensely relieved, despite the fact that she doesn’t want me to see Zarasena.

“Sorry, Axin, I don’t want you to go in there. She is unlikely to wake up, and if she does, it might slow down her recovery. You need to go back and rest too. You are both safe here. Please go back and sleep.”

“You are sure she is okay?”

“Yes.” I trust her. I just wanted to see Zarasena. Then again, I want her to recover too. Ultimately I trust this woman. I’ll do what she says.

“Okay,” I say, uncertainly. I wobble a bit on my feet. I know within myself that I must continue to rest. I am reassured by this woman’s kindness and compassion.

I wander back into my room. Erishijea follows me in. “Do you feel like you want to eat anything?” she asks.

I turn towards her, shaking my head. “No, thank you. Some more water would be nice. And… thank you for saving us.”

“Oh you are very welcome. We are always… you are welcome.” There was something very interesting that Erishijea was about to say, but she stopped herself. I will have to wait to find that out. I’m desperately tired.

She brings me two more ceramic cups filled with water. I drink one and she puts the other next to my bed. I climb back in. It is so nice to be warm. The memory of being near frozen is still at the forefront of my mind.

I am much more at peace now. I’m safe, and Zarasena is safe. Sleep comes easily.