Ashes to Ashes

DURING MY FREE PERIOD I GO VISIT MY OLD EARTH-SCIENCE teacher and play her the message that my boss at the yacht club left on my phone this weekend. His voice sounds frayed and choppy, like he’s distracted. Or confused. But he claims there was a weather phenomenon like they’d never seen before. He called it a “flash tide.” Apparently it was so worrisome, they radioed for the coast guard. Anyway, my boat was destroyed.

My boat was the only one destroyed.

“So what’s a ‘flash tide’?” I ask.

Mrs. Hilman shakes her head. “There’s no such thing. The tides are the most predictable natural phenomena on earth. They don’t have irregularities. You can literally figure them out to the minute.”

“That lying bastard. I knew it!”

I bet it was some kind of fuck-up with the off-season skeleton crew as they moved around boats to prepare for the summer people coming back to the island. Someone probably crashed a yacht into mine, and now they’re trying to cover it up. They must have been going way too fast, because there wasn’t anything salvageable. He told me as much, but I still wanted to see it for myself. I tried to pick out a few bits of wood, ones where Dad had painted the name on the hull, thinking maybe I could glue them back together. But there was no way.

Mrs. Hillman gazes at me incredulously. “You didn’t pay attention at all in my class, did you? You’d just zone out like this. We did an entire week on tides.”

I don’t bother answering her. What does it matter? My boat, the beautiful Judy Blue Eyes, is no more.

We have a senior assembly last period. A few former Jar High graduates are back home for spring break, and they’re talking to us about their first-year experiences in college or some shit. Lil’s sitting in the back, by herself, with an empty seat next to her. Reeve’s, I guess. The rest of their friends are down front. Before the thing gets started, I shoot up there and steal the seat.

“How’s it going?”

“Ash hasn’t said two words to me. And Alex, he won’t even look at me. But I think Derek and PJ are coming around. I mean, obviously Reeve and I didn’t set out to hurt anyone.”

I give her the eye. “Come on, Lil. Yeah, you didn’t set out to hurt anyone but you knew exactly what would happen if people found out. Otherwise you wouldn’t have been sneaking around.”

“That’s fair.” She bites her lip. “But I can’t help the way I feel.”

I shrug. “Then fuck everyone. Who cares? You’re almost out of this place anyway.”

Lillia nods like I’m making sense, which I am, but then she sinks low in her seat. “I hate feeling like Alex hates me.”

“Have you tried talking to him?”

“Yes. But he just walked away.” She hangs her head.

“Then try again!”

“I feel like maybe I should give him some space?”

“Lil, don’t do that thing you do where you just pretend that shit is fine and dandy. Remember, you got off easy because Mary isn’t around anymore.”

“I’m not!” she says emphatically. “He’s just so mad, Kat. I’ve never seen him this mad before.”

“Well, think about it. The girl he’s loved forever and his supposed best friend have been secretly together under his nose.”

“You’re not making me feel better.”

“Sorry. Your hair looks very shiny today.”

Lillia pouts at me. And then she concedes, “It’s a new conditioner.”

As soon as I see Reeve making his way across the auditorium toward us, I stand up. “Later, Lil.” I love Lil, and I do have her back, but I also can’t help but think she and Reeve are just a bad idea.