. Apostasy . A Luna's Struggle

Mature content - addiction, withdrawal, spouse abuse, violence

Orion stood over an unconscious Anulla. Her skin was pasty pale, her golden hair dirty and sticking to her skin. She looked like a corpse. He did not realize his claws were balled into first until he smelled his own blood. He looked down at his blood dripping from his hands and the four punctures healing in each palm. Pain reminded him of who he was, of his purpose. It was his duty to conquer every inch of this land, but he couldn’t even properly train his own mate without using a drugged wine that had almost killed the stupid female. He resented the weakness that she, his mother, and all females shared. She had gotten his heir killed, almost started a war he wasn’t ready for, made him kill his best friend to prevent that war, and divided him from his wolf.

He wanted to hurt her, his wolf snarled and lashed out at him. He almost groaned aloud in pain. His wolf was demanding that he touch her, demanding to listen to her heartbeat. Orion wiped his hand on his pants and ran his fingertips over her waxy, clammy skin. If she wasn’t breathing shallowly, he would think she was already dead from the withdrawal. He pulled the covers down, a thin, short chemise clung to her body. He placed his cheek between her breast. Her heart fluttered and skipped like a wounded bird. His arms curled around her on instinct. His wolf whined and Orion’s silent curses were cut off by his surprise.

“Orion?” Anulla moaned out his name and her fingers threaded through his hair. He just laid there with his head on her chest and his knees on the floor. She continued to move her fingers ever so slightly in his hair and against his scalp, it felt amazing. He could smell the wolfsbane along with the other drugs seeping out of her pores through her sweat. He cursed himself for not listening to his wolf and destroying the wine. He realized he had done this to her, he didn’t want her to die and he didn’t understand why. It had to be just his wolf.

She was weak, like all she-wolves, weak things needed to be destroyed. He had tried to destroy her and had failed time and again. Now he was trapped, bound to this frail female. She made him feel weak, she made him weak, but still... he didn’t want her to die. He resented her and everything she stood for. He needed to think, to find a way to rid himself of his weakness without losing her. But the longer he lay there with her fingers in his hair and the odd palpitations of her heart against his cheek, the sleepier he became.

-^^^^^-

Mid-morning, Odette peeked in the door to see the Monarch asleep with his mate. The old healer smiled and took Anulla’s dose away with her. Let the Monarch see the atrocity he had created when he had forced his poor female to drink the herbal wine. Let him learn the cost of defying the Moon Goddess’s plans and harming his own mate. She would wait in the next room and listen. Anulla would be in no danger but the old healer was determined to use the mate bond and Anulla’s withdrawal symptoms to teach Balthazar a lesson in consequences. He was a selfish boy who had grown up to be a more selfish man and it was time he thought of someone else.

Orion woke to the sound of Anulla’s moans, her heart was rapidly beating like a hummingbird’s wings under his cheek. Her skin had a light sheen of sweat and she panted like she was running.

“Anulla?” he spoke as he lifted his head.

She immediately moaned again and began writhing as though in pain. Her movements were twitchy and grotesque as she clawed at the blankets. Her face twisted in misery and she cried out, but she didn’t wake. He could not decide what to do as she started sobbing in her sleep and clawing at her skin. He grabbed her hands knowing her wolf wasn’t strong enough to heal her.

“Anulla! Wake up!” Orion demanded with authority.

Her eyes popped open, they looked wild, crazed when they focused on him. She moved faster than he could react, pouncing on him and pinning him on the floor.

“WHERE IS MY WINE?!?” she screamed, spitting. “Where is it? Give it to me, I need it!” She was slamming him into the floor over and over with more strength than he realized she possessed. She was actually hurting him. He shoved her off, rolled over and stood up but she jumped onto his back and locked her legs around his waist and her arms tightening around his throat as she shrieked like a banshee, “Where did you hide it?!? I hate you, Orion! GIVE IT TO ME!”

She heeled him in the groin and he collapsed to his knees with a hiss of pain and she bit him hard on the back of his shoulder, growling ferally. Her teeth tearing his shirt and his flesh.

“You made me need it, you bastard, give it to me!” Her voice had an inhumane quality as it hissed through her teeth. “I hate you, I hate you... I. HATE. YOU!”

Her grip was so tight he could not get his breath and was on the verge of shifting when the door slammed open and Odette rushed in with the hooded dungeon masters. Anulla was shrieking about her wine and fighting as they pried her off him. The withdrawal syndrome had made her insane, crazy enough to attack him. Orion knelt on all fours, gasping for breath. He watched her kick Walsh into the wall, but Walsh managed to catch hold of her ankles, as she struggled in Miles’ arms, clawing at him and thrashing, repeatedly slamming the back of her head against his chest. A roaring growl came from Miles throat and she stilled as the madness fading from her eyes. Tears ran down her face with the realization of what she was doing to them.

“Oh Goddess, I’m sorry Miles, I’m so sorry Walsh, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she chanted over and over between sobs.

Walsh released her ankles and stood warily. She turned Miles’ arms and buried her face in his bruised chest as he held her. He was making small whimpering noises in his throat. Orion watched her pull Walsh against her back until she was sheltered between them, finding solace in the closeness of their bodies. Her arms curled around their necks as they rested their heads on either side of hers. Orion felt jealousy bloom for the first time in his life. Jealousy because she would rather kill him and take comfort from those two scarred freaks. He couldn’t help the growl that rumbled in his chest as he stood.

Miles immediately pushed her into Orion’s chest, but Anulla flinched away, refusing to look up at him as she did with them. He realized that she was afraid of him, but not them. Everyone was afraid of them. Together they were the cruelest, most vicious wolves in the kingdom, even he doubted his ability to take them both down at once. But she was not afraid of his Dungeon Masters, and she could tell them apart with their hoods hiding their scars. Orion thought only he, Matthias, and Odette could do that. Something must have happened between them and her while he was away, and he wondered if she had let them share her again. Rage seethed within him and he resented her power to sway wolves to her side and away from him. Even his own wolf had chosen her over him.

“Put her on the bed, Monarch. Boys, leave us.” The old healer was holding a small bottle of black liquid. “Anulla, precious flower, you need to drink this. It will taste very bad, but it will make you feel much better.”

Anulla gagged at the taste, but made herself drink the rest. Orion wrinkled his nose at the smell. In moments, she was unconscious again. He started to move away from Anulla, but the healer stopped him as she started to whimper.

“Don’t, Monarch, her wolf needs your wolf close. She is so weak, she is trying to form a bond with any wolf she thinks cares about her. You saw how the Luna is with my boys? Her wolf is willing to bond with them because their wolves are willing to strengthen her. That is why only you can be close to her. You need to stay close to her, skin on skin contact as much as possible, or at least at night. I will not lie to you, Monarch, we were mere days from losing her. If there had been one more bottle, she would have lost her wolf and died before we knew why.”

Orion sat silently, he had almost lost her. He had not realized how close it was, how dangerous it was, he just wanted her to be what he wanted, and the herbal wine had made her so, but would it have been worth it if she had died?

Odette’s gentle voice interrupted his violent thoughts, “Why did you give it to her, Balthazar?”

He looked down at her face as Anulla slept in his arms, “I just wanted her to obey, to enjoy what I take pleasure from without crying or staring at the wall. I wanted her to stop acting like she hates me. She makes me feel weak and I hate it.”

“She does not make you weak. I know your father taught you that love was a weakness, but it is not. She could make you stronger than he ever was.”

“How? She hates me, fears me. She would rather the touch of the two cruelest, most vicious wolves in my kingdom than suffer my touch.” He growled out as the memory of that night and moments ago stirred the burning bile of jealousy in his soul. He never should have let them share her as they had shared Miles’ sister but he wanted to see it for real. He thought he was rewarding them, but his reward had turned his two most loyal away from him and toward her.

Odette was still speaking, “And try to be gentle with her.”

“I don’t know how,” he confessed, looking down at her, he could see all the marks he had made on her body. Permanent lines of raised flesh as testaments of his attentions.

“Let her teach you. Take her away and while she heals, get to know who she is, and learn who you are without the castle and the walls and all the weight of the kingdom. Stop being your father and learn to be yourself, Balthazar Orion, it is your only hope.” Odette closed the door softly.

Orion growled inside at the old healer’s bold words. He was not his father, he would be greater than either of his fathers. He did not need Anulla to teach him to be weak. She sowed weakness in his kingdom like weeds. Sighing, he leaned back against the wall , holding her in his arms as she slept. He could feel his wolf trying to draw her back to life and health, it made him feel tired. He kept telling himself he only needed her because his wolf needed her wolf.