Any Means Necessary

As much as I love my therapist Julie, some days retail therapy is the best kind. The instant serotonin I feel when I receive a package or open a shopping bag—it can’t be beat. Especially now that I can’t actually talk to her about what’s really going on in my life outside vague expressions about my current emotions. I think she’s starting to notice, so my time with her is probably running out. I’ve decided to put our sessions on hold until I can untangle some of the giant complications that have recently twisted up my life.

At least I have a box waiting for me at the front desk for today’s dose of excitement.

Taking the sharp edge of the scissors to slice through the tape, I pull one of the box flaps to peek at what’s inside. “It’s here,” I announce to no one in particular as I open the box. I lift the oversized panda from the package, hoisting its considerable weight.

“What is that?” Callum’s voice speaks over my shoulder, closer than I expected him to be.

He’s always standing so damn close.

“It’s a weighted stuffie.” Pulling the bear to my chest, I give it a test hug. The weight of it feels satisfying in my arms. Hopefully it’s heavy enough to crush the anxiety out of me long enough to fall asleep at night. Sᴇaʀch Thᴇ FɪndNøvel.ɴᴇt website on Gøøglᴇ to access chapters of novels early and in the highest quality.

“I didn’t figure a girl like you would try to replace a man with a pillow when you’re lonely at night.” Callum’s comment has a wave of heat washing over me, a mix of arousal and embarrassment.

“I’m not,” I say defensively, frowning up at him over my shoulder. Despite my protest, he remains unconvinced. Hazel eyes take their time looking me up and down, his lips twitching smugly under his beard.

“That poor panda doesn’t stand a chance when you need satisfaction, Dewdrop.” There’s a patronizing edge to his voice. His taunting pisses me off.

“It’s not for that, Callum,” I insist, growing exasperated. The smirk on his lips spreads into a self-satisfied smile.

“Then what’s it for?” His brows raise, waiting for another explanation. He’s not expecting there to be one.

“It’s so I can actually sleep when—” Realizing I’ve said too much, my voice trails off and I press my lips together. All humor drops from Callum’s face, growing intensely serious in the blink of an eye. His eyes narrow.

“When what?” he asks slowly, distinctly. There’s no way out of this, I’ve dug myself too big of a hole. I let out a sigh and avert my eyes.

“When I have nightmares,” I admit. A line forms between Callum’s dark brows, his shoulders tensing.

“Nightmares about what?” He’s demanding answers that I’m not going to give him. Callum’s compulsive need to know everything I’m thinking until he’s in my head is an exhausting game I’m not in the mood to play. All teasing aside, there are some things he doesn’t get to know.

“That’s none of your business.” Toting my new stuffed friend, I skirt around his demanding stare and head to my room.

Placing the oversized panda on the bed next to my pillow, I mull over what to name her. If we’re going to be cuddling every night, she deserves to have a name. And a cute one to match how adorable she is.

Buttercup. It’s perfect.

My phone chimes as a notification from one of my dating apps lights the screen—Eric C. matched with you! Opening the app, I click on Eric’s profile. He’s cute with a full head of dark curls, and dimples decorating his wide smile. His entire profile screams ‘golden retriever’ energy.

I’m in the bathroom getting ready to go out for the night when my phone chimes again, this time with a message from the golden retriever. My makeup sponge pauses mid-beat to open the message.

Eric: You are stunning

Lexie: Aww stop, you’re making me blush. Thank you! You’re not so bad yourself.

Eric: Oregon, huh? What brings you all the way to NYC?

Lexie: I’ve always wanted to know what it’s like to get bitten by someone on the subway. This was my chance

Eric: And were your dreams fulfilled? I’d hate for you to miss out on the real NY experience haha

Lexie: Absolutely, and I have the teeth marks to prove it. On another note, my tetanus shots are up to date in case you were wondering.

Eric: Good, I was worried about that. If you’re planning on eating anywhere in Brooklyn, you’ll probably want to get a rabies shot too.

Lexie: I have yet to eat in Brooklyn, but I’ll keep that in mind.

Eric: We’ll have to change that, won’t we?

Lexie: I guess that depends on what you have in mind…

***

My chunky heels click on the floor as I walk into the kitchen. Tossing my curled hair to one side to put my small gold hoop earring in, my fingers struggle with the backing. Callum sits facing the tv on the other side of the living space, a newscaster displayed on the screen.

“I’m leaving,” I announce, finally securing my jewelry.

“Where are you going?” Callum’s deep voice carries from the living room. I look over as he stands from the couch. When he turns and his eyes settle on me, his entire body turns to stone. The man could be a statue if it weren’t for his searing gaze moving over me from head to toe.

“Girls’ night out.” My brows come together in confusion. What’s his problem?

“That’s what you’re wearing? It’s a fucking napkin.” The accusation in his voice has me looking down at my outfit.

My emerald green top has an open corset front, the strings connecting the two halves stretching over a large gap that doesn’t cover much past my nipples and ends right above my high-waisted wide-legged black pleather pants. This top cuts down the globes of my breasts and puts them on full display.

Too open to wear even the lowest of plunge bras, I’m taped to high heaven. This industrial-strength boob tape is a miracle worker, and it’s definitely fighting for its life against gravity. Somehow, it’s winning—because my giant boobs are currently defying the laws of physics. Best fifty-five bucks I ever spent.

“This napkin is gonna get me lots of free drinks tonight.” There’s not an ounce of apology in my voice. I have nothing to be sorry for, I look great.

“Drinks? Looking like that, they’ll think they can buy you.” Coming closer his eyes keep finding their way back to my cleavage, expression darkening considerably.

Grabbing my handbag from the counter, I saunter over to the door. Pausing with my hand on the doorknob, I throw him a taunting smile over my shoulder. “In that case, don’t wait up.”

***

“Are you serious?” Ronnie cries the instant I step out of the car. “Girl, your boobs! You look so hot, I can’t even stand it.”

“I was just going to say the same thing to you. You look so good.” I mean it. The vibrant orange of Ronnie’s monochromatic look pairs incredibly with her rich, dark skin. And she knows how to pull off a look, her mini dress matching both her bold orange lipstick and the shoulder-length, wavy orange wig completing the ensemble.

“You know I gotta show up and show out,” Ronnie laughs, doing a little spin to show off the full effect. She then turns to gesture to the beautiful woman standing next to her. “This is my girl, Maya. She’s my best drinking buddy, she definitely knows how to have fun.”

“I’m Lexie, so nice to meet you.” I introduce myself with an excited smile. “I’m always looking for fun drinking buddies.”

Maya is simply stunning. With thick straight, black hair hanging to the small of her back. Her tan complexion and dark features hint at a Hispanic heritage, with a curvy hourglass figure to die for. “I’ve heard so much about you, I’m very excited to see you get on stage,” Maya laughs.

“Oh, you better believe I’m getting on that stage.” I grin, excitement buzzing through me. “Let’s go in, I’m ready for a drink.”

The bar is large, colorful, and packed with people in various stages of inebriation. A stage that stands along the back wall is lit by colorful spotlights that change with the music. The music playing over the buzz of the crowd has a pulsing beat that vibrates through the floor and makes me want to dance. This is the perfect place to get drunk, let loose, and forget about my problems.

“Lexie, I can’t get over your boobs. How did I not know you have a body like this? You’re doing the world a huge disservice by ever wearing a shirt.”

“I mean, scrubs aren’t exactly the most form flattering.” I laugh, as we make our way over to the bar. “Besides, I try not to show off for the crazies in the ER.”

“So true,” Ronnie agrees readily. “Look at us, the blonde, brunette, and redhead.” And between my top, Ronnie’s dress, and Maya’s skirt, we’ve got tits, legs, and ass covered tonight. We’re a hot group of ladies. This is already gearing up for a fun night.

The first round of drinks has us loosening up nicely. We dance, clap, and cheer for the drunken karaoke performers, and just laugh together. Maya is hilarious, and she’s definitely as fun as Ronnie described. She’s ordering shots and matching my energy on the dance floor.

Lots of male eyes are on our trio from the moment we walk in, and it’s not too long before men are trying to join us on the dance floor. They think they’re so slick, slipping behind us like we won’t notice they’re trying to grind on us. Each one is pushed away, but that doesn’t stop them from trying.

If men have one thing, it’s the audacity. Cue the drunken asshole who looks like he has at least one photo of himself holding a fish on his dating profiles. The type who thinks he’s God’s gift to women, but can never actually land one. Including me.

“My boys like your friends.” He jerks his head to where two other incels stand at the other end of the bar, both leering at where Ronnie and Maya stand a few feet away.

“Oh, really?” My tone clearly says I don’t give a single fuck. Apparently, he can’t take a hint.

“Yeah, so guess I’ll take one for the team.” He leans closer, glassy eyes staring straight at my tits. “I hear big girls give the best head. Why don’t you give the twinkies a night off and put those pretty lips to good use.”

I look him up and down, utterly unimpressed. There’s definitely something he’s hiding under his backwards hat and his blonde facial hair is pathetically patchy. The way he stands stiffly, looking down his nose at me, makes it obvious he’s trying his very best to look taller than he is. Which isn’t much taller than me in my heels. He’s a mess and needs to be put in his place.

I’m not about to let this piece of shit treat me like shit. 

“If your dick is too small to get past my ass, that’s all you had to say.” It takes a good few seconds before my words register in his tiny brain. He looks taken aback.

“What did you just say to me?” His voice is tinted with outrage, but I’m just getting started.

“The only companionship you deserve is in the blowup section of your favorite sex shop, plastic women are the only ones that’ll put up with your shit personality.” It’s not just the alcohol talking, but it’s definitely loosening my tongue. “It’s perfect too, because the dolls are great listeners since you like the sound of your own voice so much. I’m sure they have ones you’ll be able to get it up for, I hear they can customize them to look like your mother. That’s what you’re into, right? I mean, she’s the only woman who will ever love you.”

“Shut your fucking mouth, you fat, ugly bitch.”

“Even if I did want you, with your low IQ and receding hairline, I’m obviously too much woman for you. So take your short, balding ass, and cherub chub and go find less.” I deliver the final blow with a sticky sweet smile.

He stands, mouth gaping open like a floundering fish. And I leave him there, walking away before he has a chance to stammer some bullshit response of unoriginal insults and weak threats.

Leaving behind the jerk, completely forgotten, I join Ronnie and Maya for the first round of shots and chasers. It takes less than two full drinks before I’m adding my name to the karaoke list, choosing the best song in the history of music, let alone karaoke.

“That really hot guy over there is staring at you,” Ronnie says over the music. “I can’t tell if he’s obsessed with you or planning to kill you,” she laughs a little too loudly in my ear. My hips don’t stop swaying as I sip my drink, following her gaze to the other side of the bar. Towering over the crowd by at least several inches, the broad figure is impossible to miss—the beard and piercing hazel stare unmistakable.

Meeting Callum’s eyes, I’m tempted to inform Ronnie that both of her theories are right. You gotta be kidding me. As soon as I lay eyes on him, he’s moving closer. The crowds part for him, like they can sense the danger that resides just below his stoic stare.

“Do you know him?” Maya asks, her brows knitting in confusion. She’s steady in her heels and ready to down another shot. Her ability to handle her alcohol is something to be admired.

“That’s Callum,” I say simply.

“Callum, as in your boss, Callum?” Ronnie pipes up. I nod with a shrug, tossing my hair to the side. A man over at the bar makes eye contact, but I pretend not to notice. “He looks pissed,” Ronnie says, her eyes on Callum as he approaches. My focus lands on him again and I shake my head with a carefree grin.

“He always looks like that.”

As always, Callum looks so serious. But I can’t find it in me to care. I’m having way too much fun, my inhibitions having flown out the window with my second drink. He stops right in front of me, standing so close I can smell the musk of his cologne.

Mmm, he smells good.

I don’t bother tilting my head up, opting instead to peer up at him through my false lashes. Even in my heels, the top of my head only reaches the top button on his dress shirt.

Damn, he’s so tall and his shoulders are so broad. He’s a man who could ruin me and I’m sure I’d enjoy every second of it.

I wanna climb that tree. 

“I’ve been trying to call you.” He pulls his eyes away from me to look around, throwing a deadly glare at someone behind me. Probably the man at the bar who was just making eyes at me.

“I’m sure you have. I put it on silent.” I take a sip of my fruity drink, dancing along to the music. His eyes roam over me as I move, fixating on how my breasts bounce in this top. My drink warms me from the inside out, the music buzzing over my skin.

“It’s time to go home,” he says, but I simply laugh and shake my head. His eyes narrow.

“You can go home, I’m having fun with my friends.” The music lowers as the song ends. The emcee of the karaoke night hops on stage to address the crowd.

“Alright, alright people! It’s karaoke night, and you know what that means. Next up we’ve got Lexie West working her best blonde bombshell with the queen Dolly.” I perk up at my name, raring to go. Defiance flares inside me when Callum steps into my path.

“I’m not leaving here without you, Lexie,” he states, but I’m already moving. Putting my drink in his hand as I pass, I lean in.

“Then here.” A grin spreads across my face. “Have a drink and enjoy the show.”

Whoops of excitement erupt as I take the stage, accepting the bedazzled microphone from the emcee with a playful wink. The cheers of the crowd wash over me, hyping me up as Dolly Parton’s 9 to 5 starts blaring through the speakers. My body moves in time with the music, feeling it flow through me and back down into the stage, the bass thumping with my moving hips. This crowd is the best audience, eating up everything I give them. And if there’s one thing I know, it’s how to put on a good show.

The first verse comes to an end and the chorus approaches, I take a deep breath and put my whole chest into it, the rest of the bar dancing and singing along with me. I channel Dolly with my entire being, feeling the power of her lyrics. My focus lands on Callum, singing to him with all I have when the chorus plays.