Alphande'

The urn holding Curly’s ashes seemed to burn underneath my fingertips despite it cooling days before. I wasn’t sure why I had kept it. Maybe it was a remainder of the sacrifices that I would have to make if I was to become king. I placed it among the other things of his in a specially made chest.

I stepped outside into the night air. We were camped on a plateau overlooking Shaeda. Alone and dark stood the mansion of Tel Anir that I had grown up in. Margaret should be there still as I had left her under protection with my most trusted servants and guards. She was young and a bit impulsive, hopefully she had the sense not to burn through the large fortune that our father had left behind. I was undecided whether or not I wanted to and see her. She was the only person left who knows me well enough to unmask me before the Nuwanhe. I however did not wish to kill her. This battle to be fought between the remaining soldiers in Shaeda and us could be avoided. We needed all the men on hers and my side to fight the Verdans hiding in the hills. If only I could get to meet her privately to talk.

“You look quite pensive on such a peaceful night.” I snapped out of my thoughts and turned to see Lord Raegon approaching.

“I am trying to think of a way not to fight this battle. It will be an unnecessary waste of men. I think it could be avoided if I could speak to Lady Margaret, we could probably come to some kind of an agreement.”

“Do you think that is wise? She is still under the impression that you murdered her parents and I am sure by now the demise of her brother at your hands must have reached her ears.”

“I know,” I frowned. Then an idea came to me. “Since I can’t enter Shaeda without my head being cut off, maybe you could champion the cause of the Nuwanhe. The last time I was here, you two were to be married were you not?”

“Yes,” he cleared his throat. “But many things have since changed. My people have openly joined forces with her enemy.”

“Maybe not, she did seem fond of you and from what I observed; your union was because of love not convenience.” I said as I recalled snippets of their courtship when he visited Tel Anir. I especially remembered Margaret’s giggles and starry-eyed-ness after they had spent time together. She was even more annoyingly silly when he was around.

“Sometimes love is not enough.” He said gruffly.

“In your case it might be. You must long to see her as well. I doubt even a war could kill those feelings so quickly.” I paused and allowed him to sort through the ideas I had planted in his head.

“What do you want me to do exactly?” he asked after a while.

“Is there some way you could get a message to her asking her to meet you alone?”

“Yes,” he said after a while. “I used to leave notes hidden in the rose bushes below her window. In the mornings she would go out and collect them during her stroll in the garden. She would then read it there and write a note afterwards and placed it in the same spot before going back inside. The same evening I would collect it.”

“Do you think you could leave her a note then?”

“I could, but I don’t know if she would know to even look for it. It has been quite a while since we last spoke.” He said folding his arms and looked towards the mansion.

“It is worth a try.” I encouraged and he nodded once, but I was not sure if he was entirely in agreement as again he had slipped into silence.

“I will look about it now and head for Tel Anir before dawn. I probably will have to be disguised in one of the captives’ armour, to blend in.”

“That would be best.” I said and could have stepped on my own toe right there as I should have thought of that first. If I had done that, I would have avoided the roundabout way of speaking to Margaret. But things were already settled. If the note didn’t work, I would have to do that myself and sneak into the castle.

“Should I mention you in the letter?”

“No, otherwise she might not show. Write whatever you had to say to her all this time away. I don’t need to know what that is exactly.” I jibbed.

“As you’ve asked Your Highness.” He smiled slightly and then he walked away.

“Lord Raegon,” I said calling out to him. He stopped and turned around. “You only have two days though to set up the meeting. For we cannot wait much longer. One side might move first and it might not be ours, and though I would rather not have a battle it would be unconscionable to let our men fall without defending themselves.” He nodded again. His easier strides had quickened into a brisk walk.

My mind was somewhat at greater ease as I stood in the dark and continued looking down at Shaeda. I heard a soft patter of feet against the hardened clay and I turned just in time to see the edge of a dark cloak disappearing into my tent. I unsheathed my sword and waited at the opening for the thief to leave.

As soon as his head popped outside I grabbed the person by the arm and pulled them closer to me with the blade of the sword at his neck. I heard the person gasp in surprise.

“Who are you and what do you want?” I asked.

“Evander it’s me Noräin.” came the feminine response.

I released her at once and dropped the sword from her neck. She turned to face me moving the hood slightly from her face so that I could see that it was her. “I am sorry, princess. I wasn’t expecting to see you here.” I said honestly abashed.

“Could we go inside and talk?” she said letting the hood fall back over face.

“Certainly,” I said holding the flap open and allowed her to enter first. I quickly scanned the area around us to see if there was anyone else around before I followed her in. The camp was mostly empty and the few persons I saw were yards away and oblivious.

I saw her sitting on top of the trunk waiting. Her hood was off and the soft light of the lamp shone dully from her pitch black hair. Her honey toned skin was etched with shadows of dark and light, highlighting the more perfect angles of her face.

“I was not expecting to see you here. I thought that you were still not speaking to me. Which is understandable; I wouldn’t want to speak to me either after what I did.” Since Curly’s funeral she had avoided making any form of contact with me. If I entered a room she would leave or not show up to meetings if she knew beforehand that I was to be there.

“I was not expecting to be here either. I haven’t been able to sleep well and I think it was because I needed to speak to you. ” She said shifting over on the chest as if she wanted me to sit there, which I did. The wooden top sank slightly under both of our weights but it held up.

“I didn’t mean to hurt him.” I started.

“I know,” and surprisingly she took my hand in hers. I felt a quickening excitement run throughout my body with each stroke of her narrow fingers on the back of my hand. I knew I should pull my hand away, but every muscle in my body warred against my logic and I let it remain. “I was being too hard on you. I know you loved your brother and even more and for much longer than I did. I know that it was an accident but I would allow myself to accept that. It was just that in my grief, I could see no one else’s pain but my own. I didn’t want to even consider how you felt. I came to apologize for my selfishness and lack of sympathy.” She said with her head angled towards my hand as if looking at it, but I knew that she couldn’t with her blindness.

“I deserved your hate. If you never forgave me I could understand that as well.” I said looking up towards the top of the tent. It was so much easier being around her as my face could never betray how I felt and I only had to moderate my voice to fit the mood.

She turned her head towards me and smiled. “I may harbour many feelings towards you Evander but hate was never one of them.” She said as she dropped my hand from hers and started getting up. “Bastian might be a heavy sleeper, but my presence will be missed soon enough.” She said standing.

“Why did you say yes?” I asked before I could stop myself.

She turned towards me slightly confused. “Why did I say yes to what?”

“Why did you agree to marry Bastian?” I continued.

Her confusion disappeared and her face flitted through so many expressions I couldn’t tell what she was thinking. “I did what I thought was best for the Nuwanhe and for me.”

“And what about me?” I asked standing and facing her.

“I don’t know what you mean Evander?”

“Could you not tell how much your beauty had assuaged my spirit and charms enraptured my heart?” I whispered as I placed a lock of her silken hair over her shoulder. My hand accidentally brushed along her cheek and she moved slightly towards it as she looked up at my face. Confusion mixed with joy, sorrow and longing flitting her thinly veiled green eyes.

“Why, why are you telling me this now?” she asked softly.

“Does it really matter when I told you? I might have told you earlier, but I thought that I had more time. It matters to me that at least I did say it. At least you would know that I love you.” I whispered back. I rested my hand on her cheek and slightly caressed the soft planes of her cheek. Her response was expected, as with all the women I had bedded before, she immediately reacted to my touch by moving closer to meet my lips. I could feel her nose brushing against mine and I closed my eyes and waited for her to step closer but instead she stopped and I could no longer feel her warm breath against my upper lip. I opened my eyes.

“Thank you for being honest with your feelings, but it is indeed too late and whatever I or you may feel doesn’t matter anymore. Bastian will be awake soon.” She said as she stepped away from me. “I will see you around Evander.” She said as she slipped the hood over her hair and disappeared quickly from my tent.

I plopped down on the wooden trunk and pulled the skin on my face back until my eyes slanted upwards. I let out a heavy huff disappointed at the way things had progressed.

My brother apparently had been quite chaste and honourable in his treatment of women in all his stay here. In trying to keep up the façade of his persona I had not seen what lay beneath a woman’s dress since the night before I rode out from Shaeda and frankly I was becoming unsure for how much longer I could contain myself to myself.

“Of all the rotten luck.” I cussed softly before dragging myself to the sleeping mat and laid down looking up at the roof of my tent. My attempt at seduction had failed, but not quite miserably as it could have been. The feelings I assumed Noräin had for Evander were only guessed at up to this point, tonight I had confirmation that they did exist. This did make my path ahead much simpler. When Shaeda and Indué fell so would Bastian. Getting Noräin to fall further in love with me would be as easy as breathing. When that happened, people of all three kingdoms would fall before me as their High King.

My unsteady nerves settled and I slept better than I did in days.