All The Wrong Signs

I frowned at my reflection in the mirror. Going to a bar wasn’t something I even wanted to do. I was good about making plans, but I was even better about canceling them.

As much as I didn’t want to go to a bar, I also didn’t want to upset the only friend I had made in this town. Every after noon I walked down to her shop, we laughed and talked. It felt like we had known each other for years and not just days.

We clicked, and I was afraid if she found out how truly boring I was, she wouldn’t want to be friends with me anymore.

I had no idea what to wear to a bar. The closest to a bar I had ever been was passing on in a restaurant to be seated. I had text Lakyn to see what she was going to wear, but she had been absolutely no help.

Not that Lakyn had been vague about what she was wearing. It was that she was clearly so much cooler than I ever thought about being. I owned no leather pants and you wouldn’t catch me dead in a crop top.

Giving up on trying to fit in with Lakyn, I grabbed a pair of ripped knee flared jeans I had bought to wear to a concert that I had never gone to. I tried on about every shirt I owned before I went back to the very first one, deciding it would have to do.

This time I wondered as I stared in the mirror at my reflection if flared pants were out of style now. The shirt I had chosen was made to look like an old vintage concert shirt. Was it looking like I was trying too hard? Or not enough?

Groaning, I pulled on my boots, deciding to hell with it. Collin hated when I wore my boots, telling me it made me look low class. I should have told him a long time ago to fuck off.

Why had I let him turn me into somebody I wasn’t? Was I so desperate to hold on to what I thought was a perfect relationship?

Looking at my watch, I let out a breath. Lakyn would be here any minute to pick me up, and I still needed to do something with my hair. Walking to the bathroom, I picked up my hairbrush running it through my hair once before I heard my doorbell.

Walking to the front door, I opened it wide, a little jealous of Lakyn’s confidence. She smiled seeing me. “So you do know how to wear makeup?”

I rolled my eyes, “shut up. I haven’t had a reason to wear makeup till tonight.” I did a little circle. “Is this ok? Should I dress up more? I feel dull standing beside you.”

Following me to my room, Lakyn laughed. “Whatever. You look amazing and you are wearing those jeans.”

“I love these jeans. My sister and I bought a matching pair to go to a concert last year, but I had to cancel.” Spraying on some perfume, I grabbed my wallet and phone.

Lakyn frowned up at me. “Collin?”

When I nodded, she shook her head. “I’ve never disliked anyone I’ve never met so much. But enough about him. Tonight is about us having fun and you distressing a little.”

I nodded, “agreed.”

Lakyn drove a purple Volkswagen beetle. “This car screams your name,” I said, laughing as I opened the door.

“It was white when I first got it, but I had it repainted a couple of years ago.” She said as she pulled out onto the street. “I wanted something different, but also something I could afford. I really wanted it to be one of those that was green if the light hit it one way, purple if it hit the other. But the body shop I used is run by a thousand year old man who about had a heart attack when I finally settled on purple.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at her. She was so high energy, it was hard not to be in a good mood around her. “I’m surprised you didn’t end up in the big city somewhere.”

Lakyn shook her head. “I’m a small-town girl at heart.”

As we pulled into the parking lot for the club, I could already feel my anxiety spike. I didn’t go to bars. Why the hell was I at one.

As we walked to the doors, Lakyn looked over at me. “Relax Riley. We are at a bar, not a strip club. I mean, if you want, I know there is a male review a few towns over and…”

“I’m good, I just haven’t been to a bar in…ever.”

Lakyn snorted, “if you can handle going out with Colin’s stuck up friends and survive, then you can fit in here. Trust me, you will like these people better.”

Maybe I had been overthinking and watching too many movies because I instantly calmed down when we walked into a bar. With a name like Fire Started I had expected, well, flames. Girls in cages dancing. Maybe I was thinking of a club. Or hell, maybe I was thinking of the last movie I watched where the guy ended up in some Russian club.

Walking up to the bar, Lakyn reached over the counter, grabbing a bowl of peanuts. Sitting down on the closest stool, I watched as Lakyn turned around. “See, it’s not that bad. It has a good live band, good drinks, and some occasional hotties.”

I snorted, looking at the group of guys in the corner, clearly checking her out. “Those boys don’t even look old enough to drink.”

Lakyn laughed, turning around as the bartender walked over to us. “April, this Riley. Riley, April. Ya’ll are officially my two best friends.”

April shook her head. “Oh God, you got stuck with her, too?”

Lakyn snorted, about to say something when April popped the top on a beer, handing it over to her. “What about you?”

I shrugged, “you will have to help me out. I haven’t had anything besides wine in years.”

Lakyn leaned up. “She was married to a real asshole.”

I nodded in agreement. “I used to love Malibu. Do you have anything with that in it?”

“Girl, I can hook you up with about a million Malibu drinks. Let me get you my favorite.”

I watched as April began mixing my drink. She looked up at me. “For the record, I’m not the friend she banished for sleeping with her boyfriend on her favorite couch.”

“I really loved that couch,” Lakyn whined.

Laughing, I took the drink April handed me and took a small sip. “Oh my God, girl. This…is fucking amazing.”

April smiled. “I know. I’m the bomb at making mix drinks.” She looked over, nodding at someone calling her name. “I’ll be back when I can.”

As she walked off, Lakyn took another sip of her drink. “She’s pretty cool, but she can’t hang out a lot.”

“Why not?” I asked, watching as April started mixing up a pitcher of drinks.

“Believe it or not, that bitch is married and has 3 kids.” She comes out when she can, but she stays busy with her little ones.

My face fell as I automatically wondered what my life would have been like if I had been able to conceive. April looked happy. Her long brown hair was pulled into a ponytail and ever though she was thick, she embraced her curves.

Lakyn turned her bottle up. “Ok, so if some weirdos try to hit on us we are together. Deal?”

Smiling, I turned my glass up. “Duh.”

April walked back over, giving Lakyn another beer and filing up my glass. “Be careful, those can catch up with you quick,” she said, winking at me.

The live band started playing a song I didn’t know, but that had Lakyn jumping up and down. “We have to go dance,” she screamed at me.

I wasn’t a dancer, but I followed her out on to the small dance floor with drink in hand. It felt a little unreal. The beat of the music vibrated throughout my whole body and even though I refused to dance at first, Lakyn’s energy was contagious.

I don’t know if it was the lights, the music, or the constant drinks that were being delivered to us, but I was feeling carefree. There were no worries about ex-husbands, no worries about project deadlines. It was just me and the music.

It had been forever since I drank, really drank, and I was feeling tipsy. Instead of stopping and sitting my ass down like I knew I should, I kept going.

Collin and I never had this much fun when we went out. I was happy. Or the alcohol was making me think I was happy. I really didn’t care. I loved the feeling of freedom.

Lakyn tugged my arm, yelling in my ear. “Come with me to the bathroom. This liquor is catching up with me.”

Nodding, I followed behind her. It wasn’t until we were in the hallway to the bathroom that I realized just how drunk I was. Leaning against the wall as we waited, I giggled. “Oh my God, I’m fucked up.”

Lakyn laughed. “You needed it. Hell, we both needed it.”

Looking up at the ceiling, I nodded. “It feels good to get out and do what I want. Not worry about having to put on a fake smile.”

As the line moved, we moved into the bathroom. The minute I was locked inside my stall, I closed my eyes, feeling my head spin. I needed to stop drinking. Lakyn needed to stop drinking.

Opening my eyes, I frowned, wondering how we were supposed to get home if both of us were shit faced drunk. Handling my business, I quickly exited the bathroom and went to the sink, splashing water on my face.

Lakyn came out, jumping up and down. “So, I have an idea. April gets off in like an hour and she is going to get a tattoo. Let’s get a tattoo!”

I shrugged, “I don’t know. I don’t know what I would get.”

Lakyn giggled, “I’m going to get some bats flying across my collarbone.”

“Bats?” I asked laughing.

She nodded, “I love bats and skulls, but I figure with no appointment I’d go easy.”

“Do you think they will have room to take us in?” I questioned.

Lakyn nodded. “umm yeah. Bex will tattoo anyone, anywhere, anytime. Even if he has to stay up all night.”

Walking back to the bar, Lakyn told April of our plans. She text Bex, making sure he could fit us in and when he said he had room, my mind spun thinking of what I wanted. I had always wanted a tattoo. Collin thought they were trashy. I had half a mind to get a tattoo that said Fuck Collin.

As we waited for April to get off, I grabbed a napkin and drew a sigil that I had found in a book that I liked. It would be a reminder that I had everything I needed in me to be happy and successful.

Lakyn grabbed the paper from me. “Oh, I like this. Good idea.”

“I fell like it’s off, but I can’t find it online. It’s a sigil from the book you gave me.”

Giggling, Lakyn winked at me. “Close enough. It’s not like getting a wrong line will hurt anything.”

I nodded, folding the napkin in my hand. This was what I wanted. I had a feeling it would open a whole new world of possibilities for me.