All He’ll Ever Be (Merciless World Series Book 1)

My walk is calm and steady, even as Aria freezes.

The cocky smirk stays plastered on my lips, even as sickness stirs in my gut.

Every bit of my body is screaming to act, but this is for her. It’s all for her.

“Come,” I command Aria as she stares straight ahead at the entrance to the dining hall. Her chest rises in slow motion as her lips part with the hint of a shaky breath. “Aria,” I say, and her name slips from me like an admonishment, “I said come.” The demand is there, but the look she gives me in return is one of defiance and betrayal. There’s so much hate in the dark greens and ambers of her eyes that I almost regret this.

But she needs this. That hate for me won’t be there for long.

Stephan and Romano’s shared rumble of deep laughter is the only sound in the large room as they see her. With the blood-red velvet curtains shut tightly, the only light in the room shines down from the scattered crystals on the chandelier.

The smell of beef wellington, seated beautifully at the center of the table, greets us as we enter the room. The light shines off the butcher’s knife beside it.

Aria’s walk is hesitant but she obeys me, even if there are tears in her eyes.

“I was beginning to think I’d have to come up and get you,” Jase says as I take Aria’s hand in mine and motion for her to kneel beside my chair across from Stephan. Her palm is clammy, and her grip tight as she lowers herself to the floor. The pain I feel for her is nothing compared to what she’ll have in only moments.

As quickly as she can, she tears her hand from mine. And again, laughter from the two guests echoes off the walls.

“Still so defiant.” Romano’s eyes sparkle, but I ignore him, taking my seat.

I hate that for the moment I can’t keep my hand on hers, but soon I’ll have her again.

“No need,” I tell Jase, meeting his gaze and forcing a smile on my lips that grows as I turn my attention to Stephan, nodding a greeting and then turn to Romano. “Thank you for coming, gentlemen.”

“The pleasure is all mine,” Stephan says at the same time as Romano nods his head, the thin smile growing on his lips and turning wicked.

“It’s a delight to see you’ve taken a liking to our gift.”

Anger burns deep in my chest at the memory of him having his hands on her only weeks ago, but it stays where it is as I return his smile, placing my hand on the back of Aria’s head. She remains stiff, not leaning into my touch, which only intensifies the fire inside of me. But I will have patience, even if she tests me.

“I wish I could see her better,” Stephan says, sitting up from his seat for a moment and making a comical face. Jase gives him a bit of laughter, I’m sure because he knows what’s coming. He’ll enjoy this, but not nearly as much as I will.

“No sense of humor?” Stephan speaks to Daniel and then glances at Declan, both of them quiet. It’s only the seven of us in the room, although the kitchen is abuzz with the sound of dishes being plated. And the men waiting for my order.

“I know a few jokes,” Daniel says wryly, but then he picks up his drink and leaves the unspoken words hanging in the air. Romano’s shoulders stiffen and a hard gaze meets his eyes.

“Come up here, Aria,” I say and pat my lap and then glance at Stephan. “I’d like for our guests to see you better.”

From the corner of my eye, I see Romano’s tension ease. The room is silent, so silent I can hear my songbird swallow as she stands up on weak legs. I’m quick to pull her into my lap, pressing my hand against her ass and reminding her of last night. Her eyes widen, and she gasps, thrilling the men she doesn’t dare look at.

“Excuse her,” I speak to no one in particular. “She’s not used to company.”

With all eyes on her, I place her exactly how I’d like her, nestling her ass into my crotch and wrapping my arm around her waist. “Relax,” I whisper into her ear, knowing full well the other men can hear me. Her hair tickles against my jaw and shoulder as I move it from one side of her back to the other so I can expose her neck.

“You can’t say hello to an old friend?” Stephan asks.

“If I recall, she’s more fond of begging.” Romano’s comment doesn’t go unnoticed.

“She’s a little frightened,” I say before kissing the crook of her neck and feeling her body relax for the first time, although I know the moment will be gone before I’d like.

“One of the many Talverys who will fall to their knees,” Stephan gloats and raises his glass to toast, but I don’t reciprocate.

“I thought she would, but she betrayed me last night,” I tell them and reach for a goblet of water.

“Betrayed?” Romano’s voice is low.

I nod and look to see how my brothers react to my words.

“I thought she was doing well?” Jase comments and leans forward in his seat to look at Aria, his stare commanding her to look at him, which she does, but only for a moment. Her head is held high, but her glassy gaze stares at nothing.

“She tried to kill Daniel,” I tell Jase and he gives me a look of shock but then turns to Daniel, who’s smiling.

“Kill you?” he questions Daniel.

“As if she could,” he says, leaning back in his seat. Aria struggles to breathe as we talk about her in front of her like her presence is a meaningless joke. But everything has a purpose.

“It was only a knife.” Daniel looks at me as he answers, and I reach for the one in front of me.

“This one?” I ask him, and Aria rocks forward a moment, her ability to stay strong being questioned. When I peer up at her, her eyes are shut tightly. “Look at me, Aria.” My words are lethal on my tongue.

Instantly, her eyes open and a scattering of tears lines her lashes. Instead of wiping them away, I hold up the knife and ask, “This one?”

She shakes her head gently. “No,” she says, the word a mere whisper. I can feel the pounding of her heart.

“Take it,” I demand as I grab her hand and put it over the handle of the knife. “Would you like to use it on him now?” I ask her.

“No,” she says and her voice trembles, but again she shakes her head and answers me. “How about on me?” I offer her. “Would you like to slit my throat, Aria?”

“No.” Her answer is a barely spoken breath and her grip on the knife loosens.

“I told Daniel this morning,” I begin, addressing Romano to my right and giving him my full attention, “that it was his fault. There was no fear of him and what he’d do to her.”

Romano considers me, his brow raising and his lips turning down into a frown before he nods in agreement. “Fear is powerful.”

“I choose other tactics,” Daniel speaks up and then looks at Aria as he adds, “I let her do what she thought she needed to, so she could at least feel that she’d tried.” His voice is neutral, devoid of the empathy I know he has for her. It’s all a show. That’s the real difference between us; Daniel likes to hide behind an image.

I am the image of what’s to be feared. It exists in my being and there’s no hiding it.

“Do you remember me, Aria?” Stephan dares to ask her, leaning across the table to be every bit closer to her that he can.

“Oh, she does,” I answer for her as she struggles to respond. “My poor Aria, I know this is hard for you,” I say and hold her tighter, although she’s stiff doing her best to stay seated on my lap.

“I imagine it is,” Stephan says and then adds, “She’s grown to be just as beautiful as her mother.”

My blood sings with both rage and vengeance, and it’s a feeling I adore. A smile creeps across my lips as I confide in him, “She sings for me, but the memory of you is strong enough to stop it.” I turn to Aria, letting my finger trail over her shoulder to slip a lock of hair to her back and then turn to Stephan. “I can’t have that.”

Confusion mars his face for a moment and I let time pass for a moment in deadly silence.

“I could give her a different memory to hold onto,” Stephan suggests and the laugh that creeps from Romano’s gut is tight with tension.

“I don’t believe Carter enjoys sharing,” Romano comments, but I hold up my hand to stop him, speaking only to Stephan.

“I do believe she needs a different memory. I’m tired of hearing her cry out in her sleep.” As I speak, Aria’s expression crumples and I pull her closer to me, forcing her back to my chest and whisper in her ear, “Should I let Stephan fuck you?” I don’t let them see the anger, the hate, the deep-seated pain of watching my songbird relive the memories in front of her tormentor. They can’t see yet, but they will suffer. I swear they will pay.

Deep in my core, I have the fear of breaking Aria, of pushing her too hard, but she needs this.

“Carter,” Jase warns, and I only shoot him a gaze of contempt. If this is to go as planned, Romano is the witness whose testimony matters. His perception is the only one that matters.

Aria breaks down at the mere question, her reality again failing her. Each bit of her shatters with hope fading from her very existence. It’s then I know I’ve truly broken her and the beautiful shards of what used to be Aria Talvery can fill the crevice of my soul she broke long ago. And I can use those pieces how I’d like. Creating perfection in her from what’s been broken.

As she gasps an answer, a plea from her lips that only I can hear, I pull her tighter to me, feeling her warmth and her small body pressed securely against mine. The knife is still in her hand, although weakly held.

“You still have the knife, Aria,” I remind her. “Would you like to cut me now?” As I ask her the question, her hazel-green eyes strike me with every ounce of pain she feels at this moment. “Why are you doing this to me?” she asks, her small voice revealing her agony.

I let my fingers slip up her dress as Romano says something I don’t care to listen to.

Letting my lips trail along the back of her neck, I whisper just for her. “Do you think I’d let him fuck you?” I ask her and press my fingers to her clit, forcing her to push back and feel my cock on her bruised ass, hard at the very thought of what’s coming. “That I would let him even imagine taking what’s mine?” The hiss of my voice travels throughout the dining room, but I’m certain no one could know for sure what I’ve asked her.

Her eyes, still shining with unshed tears, finally meet mine and stare back at me as she whispers, “No.”

A smile threatens to pull at my lips and I let it as Romano and Stephan cluck their tongues in disapproval, as if they have any control at all over her. As if they know what’s coming.

I rock her into my lap again and the sweet gasp that parts her lips brings a light to her eyes. A light that I’ve given her. Only me.

Bringing my lips to the shell of her ear, I whisper, “Do you think I’d ever,” I stress the word, “let him touch you?” As I prompt her, the demeanor of my guests change.

“No,” she says with the strength of realization. My sweet girl. I watch as her breathing calms and she glances at Stephan and then Romano before looking back at me and answering me again, her head shaking and letting those locks play around her bare shoulders. “No,” she repeats softly.

“She’s rather bold, don’t you think?” Romano asks Jase, who doesn’t respond to him.

“I love how strong she is,” I say aloud, ignoring the comments from Stephan at the end of the table for a moment before adding, “Her will was difficult to break, but it was worth it.”

Declan speaks up, tired of the show I imagine. He has no patience and he states pointedly, “The dinner is getting cold.”

“Of course.” I lean back in my seat and splay my hand against Aria’s stomach to push her small body against mine. “Would you like to carve the meat, Aria?” I ask her and glance behind me toward the kitchen. “Bring out the plates in just a moment,” I call out and catch Romano’s gaze. “This chef is to die for.”

“I can hardly wait,” he says beneath his breath.

“Aria,” I tell them, “will cut the wellington and serve us, I think.” A half grin ticks up the corners of my lips as Romano smiles.

“I didn’t expect this from you,” he tells me, and I cock a brow at him. “I didn’t think you enjoyed this as much as you seem to.”

My grin widens. “You have no idea how much I enjoy this.” Tonight, my songbird will be changed forever. And I’m the one who will give it to her. She will never fear anyone but me ever again.

“You have her sit at the table?” Stephan questions me with a glint of humor in his eyes. His thin lips twitch into a smile and I manage a smile back, remembering that this is for her. She’s the one to do it. My grip on her waist tightens, to keep me from ruining everything.

“You do as you’d like in your home, but do not question me in mine.” My words are sharp and not to be taken lightly. They force the smile off his pale face while Romano coughs at the head of the table.

“I think he only means that we were expecting to see her on the floor… where slaves belong.”

Picking up the large butcher knife on the table, I put the knife firmly in Aria’s hand and command her to carve the beef wellington. She can barely reach, and I do my best to balance her as she reaches over the table, the sharp blade piercing the puff pastry shell with a slight crack that’s audible in the silent room.

My breathing comes in harder and harder, knowing what’s next. I can taste the sweetness of it already as the meat falls onto the platter.

“Carter has a soft spot for her, I think,” Jase offers, and he and Daniel share a look. One of my brothers on each side of me. Both of them ready for when I cue the kitchen.

“I want a nice meal, for fuck’s sake,” I say with a touch of humor to break the tension and put both Stephan and Romano at ease. “We start a war tomorrow. And technically, shots have already been fired,” I say, and shrug then place a small bit of meat onto the platter as Aria’s movements become strained.

“Yes. Here’s to victory,” Romano says, raising the glass of champagne in front of him. The bubbly liquid rises in the air, and with it, both of his hands. It’s like I’m watching in slow motion as I turn my attention to Stephan and see him do the same. An empty hand palm up on the table and his other raised in the air, holding a glass.

“Cheers, bring out the dinner,” I call out as I raise my glass, not bothering to reach for my gun.

My voice rings out and our men from the kitchen bring out the serving dishes. My closest men, disguised as servers, quickly make their way around the room with their trays.

They unveil each of the covered platters at once to reveal their guns, aimed at both Romano and Stephan. All while Aria’s carving the meat with shaky hands.

Stephan and Romano both suck in a breath but keep their hands raised even as curses fill the air, as do the sound of pistols being cocked.

Aria drops the knife on the table, her shoulders hunched and a squeal of both terror and surprise forcing her backward and into my arms. I wish I could have warned her, but Romano is going to live to tell the tale.

Her shoulders are cold in my embrace as I pull her close and whisper, “You’re all right.”

All three of my brothers raise their loaded guns, but I keep my hands on Aria, still trembling. Declan, seated at the opposite head, keeps his gun pointed at Romano and my other two brothers keep theirs pointed at Stephan as they face him.

“What the fuck is this?” Romano is quick to speak with indignation and attempts to lower his arm. My eyes pierce into Stephan’s, who’s staring straight at me with a bitter hate that I’m used to seeing from men I’ve fucked over. It’s always followed by the milky gaze of dead eyes. He doesn’t dare lower his arm. Because he knows the truth better than Romano does.

I hear the distinctive sound of a gun with a silencer going off, but I don’t bother to look and verify that the bullet landed just behind Romano as a warning shot. My eyes stay fixed on Stephan’s. Just as his are on me.

“This is a show for you, Romano,” I finally speak when he stands abruptly. “Help him sit, Jase.”

Without a word, my brother rises and I can just barely see Aria in my periphery. My sweet, haunted girl. She grips the table and watches intently as Jase pulls out the chair for Romano, waiting for him to sit a few feet away from the table where his hands can easily be seen.

Jase stays behind him, his gun still trained on Romano although now he could easily shoot Stephan as well. But his death is for Aria, and Aria alone.

“The knife, Aria.” I address only her. She’s so small on my lap as she looks at me and then slowly around the room. She’s hesitant to pick the knife back up and the cursing yell from Stephan nearly startles her into dropping it again.

The rage in my blood turns from a simmer to a boil. “Even now he holds a fear over you, my Aria,” I tell her in a low voice of reprimand. “I won’t allow it.”

I can feel her skin turn cold as she waits for my command. She’s barely breathing, still scared and confused. With the knife in her hand, I pull her back into my lap, taking my time to calm her so she can see clearly.

Fear can cloud everything, turning reality into falsehoods.

“Are you mad at me, songbird?” I ask her gently, cupping her jaw in my hand. I can feel her swallow tightly and peek back at Stephan before looking at me. “Why?” she asks me with such sadness.

“You needed this,” I whisper against her lips, nearly pressing mine to hers in an effort for her to understand how crucial this moment is, both for her and for us.

Her bottom lip quivers as tears prick the back of her eyes. “I thought you were giving me to him,” she confesses as her voice cracks and her shoulders shudder.

Gripping her tighter I speak clearly, loud enough for everyone in this room to hear. “You are mine and Romano lied to me when he gave me to you,” I hiss.

“Bullshit!” Romano dares to interrupt me and my hackles rise, the anger brimming. But I’ll deal with him once I’m through with Aria. She will always come first.

“You were damaged.” Her expression crumples at my words, shame filling her hazel eyes as I add, “You were so fucking broken I couldn’t have my hand in it.” I turn my head to sneer at Stephan. “Not when someone else has such control over you.”

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, and the tip of the knife hits the table as her grip loosens.

“Did I tell you to drop the knife?” I ask her and instead of taking the hint and holding it tighter, she drops it to the table, covering her face with her hands and leaning into my chest.

“I really thought…” she pauses as her chest heaves and I give her this moment. I comfort her and make the men wait. They will wait for her. And so will I.

For this I’ve waited so long already, another minute can be spared for her pain.

“I thought,” she continues to stammer, and I kiss her hair, rubbing her back as she tells me, “I thought you were done with me.”

Pulling at her shoulders, I force her to arm’s length in my lap. “Never,” I tell her with all sincerity, feeling the truth down to my core, coursing through my blood and in every thought I could ever have.

Aria’s breathing calms as she stares into my eyes, while a softness I’ve never felt drifts over me. “You scared me,” she whispers.

Running the tip of my nose against hers, I whisper against her lips, “It’s a gift for you.”

When I pull away, her eyes are still closed, but slowly they open and I nod toward the knife.

“Kill him, Aria.”

Romano curses, but one of my men presses the barrel of his gun to his head.

“Pick up the knife and end him.”

I watch Aria’s shaky fingers pick up the knife, and then she stares at her prey. He scowls at her, but she doesn’t back down. Her chest heaves again and the way she holds her chin up lets me know she’s scared but doing her damnedest not to be.

Fear can never hide though.

“I won’t be with you if you don’t,” I tell her and instantly regret the words. Her eyes widen, and she sucks in a breath. “I can’t let you continue like this,” I tell her, wishing I could take back the first words I gave her.

Her eyes flicker from me to Stephan and she nods her head slightly, but still, she doesn’t move.

Even knowing she has the knife in her hand, I lean forward and rest my head against her chest. “This is for you, Aria,” I whisper in the hot space between us. “It’s all for you.”

Inhaling her scent and feeling her body against mine, I kiss her throat and move to the crook of her slender neck. Her nails dig into my shoulder as she gasps.

It’s an apology for the threat I just made that never should have left me.

My lips slip down her shoulder and she moans softly, relaxing into me as my hands travel up her waist.

“Kill him, Aria,” I command her and continue kissing her neck, my touch turning ravenous.

Raking my teeth down her jaw, I worship her.

My brothers are witnesses to what I’d do to have her be completely mine. Romano and the dead fuck Stephan watch with a series of slurs and profanity.

Let them all see. Let the entire fucking world see.

My cock is hard when I pull away, seeing her breathless and in need.

“First, you take care of him.” I nod toward Stephan and then tell her, “And then you will be truly mine.”

Aria’s nod is swift and she’s quick this time to leave my lap, although her touch lingers on my shoulder as she steadies herself.

Three guns are pointed at Stephan, but he’s only looking at her as she rounds the table. I follow her at a distance, giving her this.

Stephan’s smile is grim and unnerving as he sneers, “She’ll never do it. Just shoot–”

Before he can get the last word out, Aria whips her hand through the air, slicing his neck open and forcing blood to pour from his neck. As his hands reach up to his throat, she screams a bloodcurdling sound, slicing again in the same pattern. Only this time, it cuts through his hands, nearly severing one of his fingers.

She doesn’t stop. She stabs frantically into his chest, hitting his arm, his shoulder, his throat again. Her aim is reckless, and my men take a step back, blood drenching his shirt and spraying from his cuts.

She’s savage in the stabs. Chaotic even. For a moment, I want to tear the knife from her for fear of her cutting herself.

She screams out as the knife pierces through the expensive fabric and into his soft flesh, the blood seeping through his clothes. The cry from her is sickening. Not because of the piercing scream, but because of the overt sadness. She kills him with her pain.

“Let it out,” I say without conscious consent. I can see Daniel turn his attention from her to me, but I ignore him. None of them matter right now.

She needs this more than anything.

Romano stands from his seat, backing away and it’s only then that I break my focus on Aria.

“Sit,” I practically snarl. The anger is mostly because he dared distract me from this.

He grits his teeth and feigns irritation as he slowly obeys me, but he can’t deny the utter fear I can see in his gaze.

With both hands on the armrests, he slowly takes his seat and I can focus on Aria again.

Her energy has waned and she’s silent as tears stream down her face. Her small body looks weaker and weaker, but she doesn’t stop stabbing into Stephan’s lifeless body. She’s obviously exhausted, but she doesn’t stop.

Not until I give her the command, my low voice foreboding and dominating in the silent room. “Aria. Give me the knife.”

Her wild eyes glance at me, only for a moment as the knife trembles in her hand and she shakes her head, no.

“Aria,” I raise my voice, forcing it to echo in the room. The only sounds I can hear are the blood rushing in my ears and Aria’s ragged breathing as I grit my teeth and tell her one last time. “Give. Me. The knife.”