all god's orphans

The sun was just getting over the hills when the steady rocking of the Winnebago gently shook Sarah awake. Raymond glanced over at his daughter and realized just how long he had been staring straight ahead when his neck complained disproportionately about turning slightly to the right. He grimaced in pain.

“What’s wrong?” yawned Sarah.

“Nothing, sweetheart.” He yawned in reply. “Just a little stiffness in the old joists.” Sarah stretched like a cat feeling all the muscles relieved to not be sleeping in a chair anymore.

“You’re not that old, dad.” She teased.

“Tell that to my back.”

“Where are we?”

“Not sure.” He admitted. “Somewhere on eighty-one.”

“Are we close to Knoxville?”

“Not terribly close, no.” Sarah glanced at the gas gauge.

“We’re gonna need to stop soon.” She noticed. Without looking, Raymond nodded.

“I know.” Was all he said. Sarah sat back in her seat and looked out the window. Gentle green hills rolled away on both sides of the interstate. Her dad was still driving slowly and cautiously, even though there weren’t any other cars on the road. Every once in a while they would pass one in a ditch or something, but other than that, they were the only things moving.

Her Bible sat on the expansive dashboard looking like a Spanish mission in the middle of a desert. It was still open to where she had stopped pretending to read it the night before. She almost couldn’t believe that her father had been right. He’d always told her that the world was going to end soon. She didn’t want to think that was true. Where were all her friends now? What had happened to them? Was this really the rapture and if so, why had she and her father been left on Earth? Didn’t Jesus love them?

Most twelve-year-old girls didn’t worry about such things, but Sarah did. Always had. It just didn’t seem fair. Why make a world you just intended to destroy? Her father only ever had one answer to these questions. He would just tell her to pray harder. That never made any sense to her then and it made even less sense now that the world actually had ended. Her father’s faith had strengthened but hers, already weak, had abandoned her completely. If the world was over and they had not been brought up to Heaven to see her mother, then what was the point of it all? She had been good. Even brushing Steven Fortner’s hand away from her budding breasts during the church hayride last October. She had refused him and for what? The world was over and she didn’t even get to see her mother.

“I’m hungry, daddy.” She said just to break the silence.

“I know.” He was like a broken record sometimes, her mother used to say. His eyes were so bloodshot that she could see them from here. They looked like the time her sister came home from college at Thanksgiving and tried to get her to smoke a marijuana cigarette. She didn’t, of course, but Emmie had and afterwards, her eyes were so red they almost glowed in the dark like lights on a Christmas tree. She didn’t get all goofy like they said you would at church if you ever took marijuana. She just laughed extra hard at stuff and then went to bed early. She said it made sex better but Sarah couldn’t tell if she was only saying that to mess with her or if she actually had made love to a boy at college.

Sarah couldn’t wait to see Emmie again when they finally got to Knoxville. Her big sister would make everything better, or at least explain it so it made sense to her. She had never really paid her any mind before. She just thought Emmie was a rambunctious girl who took advantage of the fact that everybody felt sorry for them after their mom died, but now she saw that some of the stuff her sister said made sense. Why stay a virgin if the world is gonna end anyway? Why be a good girl if it don’t even stop everything from crashing down in the end? That was a question she wanted answered and Emmie was the only one she trusted to answer it.

‘Ding’. The fuel indicator finally sounded from the dashboard. Sarah had never known her father to let the gas needle fall so far. He had been a long haul trucker for almost her entire life and he took fueling more seriously than Sarah thought was healthy. She could see the conflict in his face and she wished she could help him. Up ahead was a sign for the kind of gas station that tractor-trailers use. It was fifteen miles away. Sarah crossed her fingers.

Raymond squinted through the windshield. Uneasiness whispered in his ear at every bend in the road. He kept expecting to find the army or state police or anything, but there never was. Each curve opened up to reveal more open road and he thought maybe that was why he was so freaked out. Where were all the cars? Where was everybody? The radio stations were nothing but static and the few people he had seen looked lost or insane. He wouldn’t admit it to Sarah, but for all his moaning about it, he was happy to see the end of the world because it meant he’d been right! He knew this was coming. He just knew and he’d been right. Outwardly he worried about his daughters’ futures and the world they would have to endure, but inside, he told himself that this wasn’t his fault. He hadn’t doomed the world, after all. He had simply seen it coming and prepared accordingly. There was nothing wrong with taking a little joy in that. In fact, he could take more than a little because he had been prepared. Whatever future lay ahead for him and his daughters would be brighter than most because he was prepared. No longer would he be just a truck driver or just a mechanic. No, this new world brought new possibilities and he intended to be a king.

Eventually he guided the rumbling behemoth off the highway and onto the exit ramp. He could see the truck stop to his right and it was empty for the most part. He reflected on how the sight of all those empty parking spaces would have made him delirious with joy when he as a trucker but now it made him queasy. It just wasn’t right. Still, it looked safe and there was no one around. Inside, the lights were still on so it must have been running on a backup generator meaning that the pumps would still work. He wouldn’t have to try and siphon fuel. He stopped at the top of the ramp and took a long look around. There was nothing else at this exit and the road slipped away in both directions heading into gentle hills covered in tall grass. He eased the Winnebago forward and pulled slowly into the station ready to bolt at any sign of trouble. After a while, he shut the engine off and listened.

“Daddy.” prodded Sarah when she couldn’t take the silence anymore.

“Shush!” he hissed. There was nothing to be heard. Sarah didn’t know why he was so worried. Finally he was satisfied that they would survive. “All right, you stay here. I’m gonna go get the pump started.” He opened the door and stepped out, still wary. From beside his seat he removed his AR-15 and checked the magazines. Fully loaded. Good.

Sarah watched her dad move towards the gas station with his weapon held to his shoulder looking at everything through his Trijicon laser scope sight blah blah thing. She thought he looked ridiculous. An overweight, middle-aged dad playing ‘war’ like he was in downtown Fallujah and not BFE America. What did he think was gonna happen? Sarah rolled down the window, hung her arms out over the door and waited.

After a few minutes fraught with no peril whatsoever, her father emerged from the building looking slightly less paranoid. He still had his rifle at the ready, but at least it was pointed at the ground now.

“All clear.” He announced as he approached the pumps.

“My savior.” Said Sarah under her breath.

“What was that?” shot her father from the other side of the vehicle.

“Can I go in now?” He didn’t look convinced. “I’m hungry and I want a Mountain Dew.” He thought for a second and finally relented.

“All right.” He said, starting the pump. “But take your weapon with you.”

“Okay.” She sighed and opened the door. It felt good to be standing on ground that wasn’t moving. She stretched so hard she felt like she might touch the ceiling and then reluctantly grabbed her ostentatious weapon before strolling into the gas station.

The inside was large and clean. Each aisle presented her with the most colorful ways to satisfy her craving for sugar and the coolers were even still running. She lazily browsed the choices and when she found what she wanted, she decided she should stock up. The checkouts were near the back and she figured that would be where they kept the plastic bags so went behind the counter and started searching. There weren’t any in plain sight but she finally found some in one of the cupboards. When she stood back up, she saw a man standing outside the glass doors, staring at her, a creepy smile on his face.

She screamed and stumbled backwards as her heartbeat skyrocketed. The man didn’t react at all. He simply stood at the door staring at her like a weirdo. She slipped as she tried to stand and then noticed that there was a second man inside the store. He had emerged from one of the back rooms and he too just stood there, silently, like a statue. She fumbled with her weapon and brought it shakily to bear on the man inside the store. He didn’t move. He just smiled at her, which made it worse somehow.