Adapt (I)

Scarlet

I swivel in my seat to face to road again, pulling the car back to the centre of the lane.

Before I can say anything else, Boe is cramming himself through the space between the front seats, contorting himself so that he can sit in the passenger side. He is all elbows and knees, trying to fit his muscled six-foot-four stature through the narrow opening. When he finally gets himself situated, he reaches back and grabs something.

“What are you doing?!”

He pulls open the bag and pops a few pieces of whatever it is in his mouth. “I could ask you the same thing.” He says around muted crunches. “Pistachio?” He angles the bag toward me.

“What? No, Boe. What are you doing in my car?!" The tears are gone, replaced with shock and no small amount and anger.

He loads up his mouth with a handful of pistachios, then talks with a mouth full. “I’m not exactly sure yet.” He swallows. “I am so much more interested in what you are doing in your car. Leaving town, no less, when I distinctly remember you said you were going to leave town in my car at dawn.” Boe’s light-hearted tone is chopped with irritation.

I clench my jaw, but I don’t answer. I just stare out the windscreen.

Boe crunches on more of his snack. “What is even more fascinating is how Logan fits into all of this.”

My attention snaps. “What makes you think Logan has anything to with this?”

He laughs. It is not a humorous sound. “You know, I had the oddest dream last night. I dreamt that you nearly bleed to death on Clarke’s bed, and Logan was the one to come in and help you, because I was so God damn useless.” It sounds like he is eating the pistachios angrily. “Then I woke up and you were gone. We find you training, like you hadn’t been gutted less than a day ago. You have to forgive me for not being instantly relieved.”

“So, you had a dream? I didn’t realize you were psychic.” I say, trying to turn the conversation back on him.

“Yeah, I thought I was going nuts too. But you were acting so weird. Then I get a text from Chandler, asking why you might want email addresses that are untraceable. Well, that was even weirder.”

I scrunch my face up. I should have made it clear to Chandler to keep his big mouth shut.

Boe continues. “I found the shirt that I gave you in my dream, covered in blood on the bathroom floor. And then, to polish everything off, you stole my phone.” He scrunches up the top of the pistachio bag. “So, after a whole day of completely random shit, it didn’t surprise me when I swung by your place to grab my bike jacket and found your car packed up and ready to jet.”

My grip on the steering wheel tightens. How am I going to get myself out of this?

Boe puts his bag of pistachios in the back then turns to me. “So, I have laid out all of the dots. Perhaps you could be so kind as to connect them for me.” He says. I can feel his green eyes boring holes into the side of my head.

I glance over at him. “Boe, it’s safer if you don’t know.”

“Safer! Scarlet, if I wanted safer, I wouldn’t have fallen for you. Tell me everything.”

My anger wavers. The ache in my chest from breakfast settles in and takes root. My mouth goes dry and my palms become sweaty on the steering wheel. “You don’t mean that.” I whisper. I’m not sure who I am trying to convince.

“The hell I don’t.” His anger is rising. I can feel it in the air. “You know how I know? Because even though I am so fucking angry at you right now, I can still feel it. I guess that makes me a fucking idiot, though, because I thought we trusted each other. I laid everything out in front of you. I have no secrets left. Call me stupid but I thought you didn’t have any secrets from me. Yet all you have done is lie to my face, all day.”

I stomp on the brakes and pull over to the side of the road. “What do you want me to do?!” My anger retaliates. “I’m not going to risk my family and friends for the sake of something so trivial as my freedom. I’m not going to risk HQ coming into Green Haven and tearing it up just to capture or kill me.” I turn in my seat to face Boe, so he can see the intensity in my eyes. “And I am definitely not going to risk everything you have worked for, and your life, so that you can try to stash me away somewhere HQ cannot find me.”

He returns my glare. “Then I can’t wait to hear what your grand solution is, because you are not surrendering to HQ.” He says, authority ringing through his tone.

“Boe, if I tell you I will be risking your life.”

“And what gives you the right to decide who I should and shouldn’t risk my life for, huh?”

“Because I would not be able to live with myself knowing that you were tortured or killed trying to defend me!”

He lets out an angry breath through his nose. His eyes are tight, and his chest is heaving. “But you will let Logan help you, right?” His tone is flat.

“Yes, because-”

“Because he can help you better than I can.”

“No, because-”

“Because he can protect you better than I can.”

“Boe, no-”

“Because I am not strong enou-”

“Because I love you!” I scream before he can interrupt me again. “Because I am a terrible person and I would rather risk anyone else’s life, before the people that I love.”

The silence hangs in the car like the ringing in your ears after an explosion. We have run out of anger. Now we are just sitting here, my proclamation splattering the inside of my Jeep. I have nowhere to hide, nowhere to run.

Boe reaches over and grabs one of my hands. He takes it in both of his and runs his thumbs in rhythmic patterns. “You don’t have to do this alone.” He says quietly. “I know you are trying to protect me, but I need you in my life.” He swallows. “Please.”

The thought that he needs me almost makes me laugh. I need him much more than he needs me.

His green eyes look up and into mine. I see beautiful security that he offers. If he thinks I don’t trust him, he is dead wrong. I trust him with my life. I know he is strong enough and smart enough to protect me.

I just want to be worthy of his protection.

And I thought that, by protecting him from all of this, I would be proving just that.

Looking into his eyes I see that I am not proving my worthiness at all.

Then my mouth just starts spewing words out. I tell him how Logan came and offered me a hiding place, secure from hunters. How, due to his abilities he can transport me there without any trails. I tell a butchered version of the story Logan told me and explain how I don’t know why I trust him, that I just do. That isn’t the part that makes Boe question, though.

“An Element? As in, a Full Therian?” he asks.

I nod.

He keeps his gaze on my hand, but his brow is furrowed. “Energy?”

“Yes.” I say, weakly.

I can almost see the cogs moving in his head, but I am not sure why. “And he can control the energy in the mind?”

I nod, wary now.

He takes a few more moments to ponder this, before he lifts his head and looks into my eyes. “It’s a better plan, although only marginally. One of the original problems is still there.”

“What?”

“Well, your family and friends will be in danger still.”

“How?”

“Because when you disappear, the first doors they will knock on will be Trent’s and Caron’s. Not to mention that your disappearance will put my career at stake, on the contrary to what you believe.”

I frown. “How on earth would my disappearance do that?”

“Because Alex already knows how I feel about you. They will claim that I have become sympathetic to the Therians and I will be dishonourably discharged for aiding you.”

“Oh...” How could I be so stupid? Of course, it would look like he helped me.

“The only other down fall is what Logan means by ‘adapting’, and how he is supposed to help you.”

I nod. That also has me suspicious. But I have seen my eyes - their white glow. I know that I am changing. Which is why HQ is now hell bent on getting to me, I’m sure. “I don’t know why I trust him.” I blurt.

Boe shakes his head. “Logan has proven that he doesn’t want to kill you. I’m not worried about that. I am worried about you.”

I clench my teeth. “Which is exactly why I didn’t tell you, Boe. I don’t want you to worry about me.”

He rolls his eyes. “Oh, Scarlet, stop being such a martyr. I can worry about you if I want.”

“But I-”

He reaches over the console and silences me with his lips. My body registers shock, before it melts away under the heat of his touch. He is so warm. It seeps into my body, filling me up. It is not like the heat of midday in summer, the kind that leaves your skin sticky and my mouth dry. It is the heat of a warm cup of coffee hugged in your hands, early on a crisp fall morning. It is sliding into a warm bath after a stressful day.

He finishes the kiss and rests his forehead against mine. He lets out a slow breath, which dances across my skin. “Now, why don’t you take me to wherever we are going, so I can figure out how I can help you.”