A VERY UN-SHAKESPEARE ROMANCE: ‘A Fake Dad Grumpy Sunshine Romantic Comedy’

Robbie had never been more grateful that Lily didn’t look like a Fed.

Scotty hadn’t once suspected she was anything but what he’d told him. As they walked back to the house, he thought about taking Scotty into custody before they reached the house. But with that loose track suit, he couldn’t be sure Scotty wasn’t carrying a gun. He forced himself not to look over his shoulder for Lily. She’d be racing back to the house along the street to collect Agents Johnson and Mather. Their team would converge on him and Scotty.

Playing the various outcomes and risks through his mind, the same way he would on any operation, he almost missed the abandoned speedboat bobbing in the shallows. He’d seen the hotshot driver wreaking havoc earlier as he’d run behind Lily. But where was he and why was the boat here?

Tension worked its way through him. Scotty had mentioned a friend earlier, one who’d told him about the Maryland casino. Had this guy been with him when Scotty had seen Tara’s posts? Scotty wasn’t known for his work ethic. Would he have brought someone along to try and intimidate him and Tara into playing ball?

He glanced at his brother-in-law. The piece of shit was sweating. Well, he should be. But would he really have thought he could convince Tara and Robbie to go along with his half-baked plan? Dipshit wasn’t the brightest bulb, but he’d managed to launder money under Tara’s nose for God knows how long.

Surely he had a backup plan. Robbie fisted his hands at his sides as they closed in on the house. Were Sheila and Tyler still out getting pizza? Scotty had said he’d seen the McLaren in the driveway.

In the driveway…

Why converge on him and Lily so far from the house? Was it to give the boat’s driver time to anchor and breach the house, lying in wait?

He couldn’t go inside with Scotty. Especially since he didn’t know whether or not he was armed. Lily wouldn’t like that he wasn’t waiting for her and the other agents, but he didn’t feel like he had a choice. One-on-one had better odds. They were out of view of the house, so he had to make a move now.

He pretended to stumble in the sand, grabbing Scotty’s arm as he started to go down, as if he were trying to catch himself. Scotty jerked in shock, but Robbie’s greater weight took the man off-balance as planned. Robbie sank one knee into the sand, using his force to take Scotty down hard on his side. Whipping him onto his stomach, Robbie pressed his other knee into the man’s back, ripping both arms up behind him. Sure enough, he felt the hard outline of a gun secured in the back of Scotty’s pants.

“You carrying?” He pressed his knee harder into Scotty’s back when the man struggled. “What were you planning, Scotty? To kill me and Tara if we didn’t go along?”

“Stop it! You’re hurting me.”

Robbie tightened his grip. “Keep your voice down. Because I know that boat didn’t just wash up onshore. You brought muscle, didn’t you? Answer me!”

“You said you’d listen!” Scotty cried. “I didn’t want it to go this way.”

“What way?” He loosened his grip just enough and peered over the man’s body until he could see Scotty’s face. “You’d better tell me. Because I know something you don’t. I’m here with the Feds. Tara and the girls are gone. Confess now and they might go easier on you.”

“Shit!” He started bucking. “But Billie and Tim—”

“Forget about them.” Robbie glanced up at the house to make certain they were alone. “That woman I was running with is a Fed, Scotty. Tell me what the plan is. Now!”

“Janice thought we needed a backup, so we brought a guy she knows from the casino.” He tried to buck out of Robbie’s hold. “In case you or Tara didn’t go for it.”

“Is Janice inside with the guy from the boat?” Robbie asked harshly. “Is he armed?”

“They’re both armed.” His features were clenched, face dripping with sweat. “Dammit, Robbie. You know me. I didn’t want anyone to get hurt. Especially with the girls around.”

“But you weren’t going to stop anyone from doing what had to be done, were you?” He calculated how long it would take Lily to run back to the house. She would be there shortly. He needed to secure Scotty and intercept her. She and the agents would be walking into a trap.

Robbie transferred Scotty’s wrists to one of his hands while using the other to yank out his shoelace. “I’m tying you up and leaving you here, but if you try and run, I swear it’s not going to be pretty. Got me?”

“Come on, Robbie,” Scotty pleaded, his eyes frantic. “We’re family.”

Robbie spat on the ground as he yanked out his last shoelace and started tying Scotty’s hands together. “We were. You blew it the minute you put Tara and the girls in danger.”

He tied a constrictor knot tightly around his wrists and then did the same to secure Scotty’s ankles together, knowing the boating knot was impossible to untie when done right. He was not chancing him getting up and running. Stripping off his T-shirt, he ripped it in half.

“Open your mouth,” he commanded.

Scotty’s eyes went wild. “No way!”

Robbie only grabbed his jaw and forced it open, shoving half of the shirt inside and then using the other half to secure it in place. “I am not chancing you yelling for help. Now stay put.”

He was up and running moments later, heading toward the yard of the third house down from them. When he reached the street, his heart jerked in response. Lily was coming out of the house across the street with the two other FBI agents. They were all dressed casually, but Robbie recognized the hunched shoulders of Feds going toward a potential crime in progress. He gave a soft birdcall and watched as their heads jerked toward him.

He held up two fingers, pointed toward their rental house, and gave the signal that the occupants were armed. Lily nodded, her face tense, her eyes flat. He started walking along the front of the house, keeping close to it, noting the McLaren wasn’t in the driveway. He had a moment of relief that Scotty’s partner hadn’t gotten the jump on them with surprise on his side.

And then he heard the purr of a luxury sports car.

Shit.

Sheila and Tyler didn’t know about the ambush.

Lily started jogging up the street, her ponytail bobbing. The other Feds made a show of going toward their SUV, popping the trunk like they were looking for something. Robbie knew they were trying to preserve their cover if Janice and her accomplice had gone to the windows to watch the sports car approach.

Robbie paused at the edge of the garage, hiding in the crevice as he watched Summer take her hair down, giving a covert signal to her partner, one she’d taught him. The McLaren passed her, slowing as it reached the house. Lily cut into the adjoining yard and started jogging back from an undetectable position toward Sheila and Tyler while Agents Johnson and Mather closed their trunk and walked across the street, acting like two prospective buyers at a car show.

When Tyler pulled into the driveway, he immediately opened the garage door with the remote. As it was lifting, he popped open his car door, reaching for the pizza and putting the three cartons on top of the vehicle. Sheila peeled out, keeping her back to the house, likely so their perpetrators wouldn’t be able to see she wasn’t Tara.

“Hey!” Agent Johnson called as he sauntered over in a navy T-shirt, tan shorts, and running shoes. “That’s some car. Right, honey?”

“A beaut,” Agent Mathers said, smiling appreciatively in her white tennis outfit. “I hope you don’t think it’s rude of us to ask to take a peek. I’ve never seen a McLaren up close.”

Tyler flashed his killer smile. “Knock yourselves out, right, babe? Hey, where are you guys from?”

“Washington, DC,” the man said, a husband touching his undercover wife’s arm with tenderness. “We decided to take a final summer getaway.”

“DC, huh?” Tyler grinned. “I went to school at Georgetown. How cool is that? Hey, Tara! Isn’t that a coincidence?”

“It sure is,” Sheila said in a pretty good imitation of his cousin’s voice, fluffing her black hair. “I’ve never been.”

“Sometimes I get a little homesick for the Beltway,” Tyler continued. “Hey, you two want to grab a drink? Tara’s kids and their babysitters are still at the playground, but her cousin is coming back soon from a run with his new girlfriend. We’ve got a ton of pizza. It would be nice to talk about my old stomping grounds. I’m Tom, by the way, and this is Tara.”

Nicely played, Robbie thought. This way Janice and her accomplice would be expecting four people to come inside from the garage, but he imagined Agents Mathers and Johnson would circle around the house with Lily to take the back as Tyler and Sheila went in through the garage as expected. He wondered how Janice and her friend would react to the numbers changing. Panic? Would they start shooting? His gut gripped with worry.

“What do you say, honey?” Agent Johnson asked with a wink. “You know how much I love pizza.”

Agent Mathers rested her head on his forearm. “We were actually thinking about grabbing one ourselves.”

“Great!” Tyler boomed. “Come on in.”

Tyler and Sheila slammed the car doors and started toward the garage, pulling out their weapons, while the other agents split off to the right side of the house, also pulling their weapons. Robbie stepped out of his hiding place as Lily sprinted across the yard from the adjoining house in a crouched position, ensuring she wouldn’t be spotted from the windows. When she spied him, he saw a flash of relief in her eyes.

He motioned to her as she reached the edge of the garage. “I’ve got Scotty taken care of for now.”

“Good, then we go in behind Tyler and Sheila,” she whispered to him, pulling her weapon from the back of her running shorts. “Sorry I don’t have one for you. I thought you were with Scotty. Stay behind me.”

He didn’t like it, but he nodded. Tyler and Sheila were talking as they approached the inner door, pretending nothing was amiss. Sheila reached for the door handle, nodding to him and Lily before opening it. Tyler went in first, going on about his time in Washington, DC, as Sheila followed.

Lily pointed her gun down and entered after them in a crouch. Unarmed, Robbie wouldn’t be of much help, but he still knew how to provide backup. He swept in after her, crouching low, signaling he’d stay put while she peeled off past the laundry room, which led to the family room.

“Freeze!” Tyler shouted. “FBI.”

Robbie was inside the kitchen a moment later. Janice and her muscle stood in front of the open patio door, a yard from the kitchen island. Four agents had their weapons trained on the pair.

“Shit!” The bulky dark-haired man next to her put his weapon down on the ground immediately and then crossed his hands behind his head. “What the hell are the Feds doing here? Dammit, Janice, you said this would be an easy score.”

“It was supposed to be!” Janice whipped her 9mm up, her hand shaky as she tried to aim her handgun. “Stay back.”

“You don’t want to do that, Janice,” Lily commanded in a low voice from the doorway leading from the family room, her body mostly shielded save her gun arm. “Five agents have their weapons trained on you, and we will shoot you if you discharge your weapon.”

Her arm wavered, her brown eyes narrowing. “I don’t understand…”

“Listen to me, Janice.” Lily kept her weapon trained on the woman, staying where she was. “You’re going to step away from the guy with you and lay down your weapon. Slowly.”

Robbie’s body tightened, knowing this is when people turned stupid. He watched as the woman cursed and then bent over, putting her gun on the floor. He breathed a sigh of relief.

“Okay, now hands behind your head like your friend here,” she instructed.

Tyler and Sheila swept forward as she took the position, their weapons still drawn. Tyler picked up the guns, placing them out of reach, as Sheila kept her gun trained on them, along with the other agents.

“Where’s Scotty?” Janice looked around and then froze when she spotted Robbie. “Hey! You were supposed to be here with Tara and the girls. Where’s Tara? Where’s—”

“I’m Tara today,” Sheila told her in a rough voice.

“And Scotty’s tied up on the beach,” Robbie said, his heart still pounding in his chest. “What were you going to do, Janice? Kill me and Tara if we didn’t agree to cooperate?”

“I am not talking to you, pig.” She lifted her pointy chin, defiance carving her beautifully made-up face. “I told Scotty you’d never go along with it. Men! They never listen.”

“And what about you?” Tyler gestured to her accomplice. “Sorry, I didn’t catch your name.”

A muscle ticked in his temple. “Bill Walpole.”

“Well, Mr. Walpole. Did you fancy the McLaren?”

“I was hoping for a cut of it, yeah.” He stared at Tyler. “What’s it to you?”

“Just doing my job.” Tyler glanced at Lily. “Can you get us some handcuffs?”

Agent Johnson and Mather pulled two pairs out of the deep pockets of his shorts. Lily stepped forward and took them.

“I think Robbie should do the honors,” she said, holding them out. “Seeing as he likes to use them and all.”

Sheila snorted, fully aware of the joke.

“By the way, Robbie,” Lily asked. “What happened to your shirt?”

He looked down at his bare chest. God, he’d forgotten about that. He jerked his head toward the beach. “I secured it in Scotty’s mouth so he couldn’t alert his accomplices.”

“Nice work, Lieutenant.” Lily headed toward the back door. “Who wants to join me in arresting Scotty Flanagan? I’ll let you guys take care of these two.”

Robbie saw the question in her eyes. “I do.” Then he went to cuff Janice and Bill.

He and Lily let themselves out as Sheila began reading Janice and her accomplice their rights. Lily brushed her body against him playfully, exhaling a long breath. “Well, after this unexpected dry run, arresting Kellys’ guys tomorrow should be a piece of cake.”

Spurting out a laugh, he sighted Scotty rolling like a human-sized worm across the beach, the hope of escape still in his heart apparently. “God, I hope so.”

Because he was so done with this fake vacation.