A Rogue For Four Alphas

Chapter Fifty Eight

That night, I insist on Lisa taking my bed. It's not big enough for us to share, but I'm fine on the couch. I'm afraid I'll be tossing and turning all night anyway.

There's an ember of hope glowing in my chest, but the path forward hardly seems clear cut. Even if the men want to explore a relationship with me - and that's a big if there's still the issue of how my presence creates stress among them, and how they fight over issues related to me.

I feel like they bring out the best in me, but I'm afraid I bring out the worst in them.

The more I lie here and think about them, the more I'm convinced that they're good men. I don't believe they would ever intentionally hurt me, and I'm smiling up at the ceiling, remembering how Damon seemed to be falling all over himself not to be even remotely bossy during their recent visits tothee coffe shop. Is that a sign that he's trying to do what he thinks will make me happy?

I have the strong impression that Damon would like something more with me, but what about the others? Damon seemed fine sharing me with his friends for sex, but what if I wanted a deeper emotional connection with each of them? Ugh.

Just the words make me cringe. What do I know about deep emotional connections? If I pursue this, I'm definitely going to be setting out into uncharted territory, exploring parts of my heart that I'm not even sure exist.

Whatever might happen between us - if anything

I don't want to harm their friendships with each other. I'm hopeful that if I'm no longer fighting my feelings and trying to run away, then I won't cause issues between them. Amid all of these confused thoughts, I eventually fall asleep. The next day, Lisa's and I went over Vincent's to collect her stuff while he's still at work. Luckily for him, it doesn't look like he's thrown anything else of hers away, because I'd have a hard time keeping myself from retaliating. We pack her belongings quickly-which is easy since he kept her restricted to certain areas of his house and load her car with boxes.

On the ride home, she's in remarkably good spirits. Prior to the breakup, she'd been hoping to get engaged to Vincnet soon, so I won't be surprised if this big life change hits her hard in a couple of days. When it does, I'll be ready with wine, chocolate, ice cream, sad movies, or whatever else she might need to help her through it, and I know she'll come out better on the other side. "So... I'm thinking of doing a big scary thing," I tell her when we're almost back to the apartment.

She glances over before returning her eyes to the road. "What's that?"

"I'm thinking of letting myself be vulnerable."

"That is big and scary," she says, but she's smiling as she says it.

As we carry in her boxes and unpack her things, I tell her my plans. Lisa likes my ideas, and adds a few suggestions of her own

I do some research and make a shopping list, but once I'm done with the busywork, I'm left to focus on all of the nervous feelings in my stomach ON

I drove over to their office by the envy day, my heart starts pounding when I get out of the car, and it beats double time as soon as I see Ian and Erik. They're talking to a couple of guys I don't recognize, but when they see me approach, they end their conversation and walk over.

"Jasmine, everything okay?" Ian asks, an edge of concern in his voice. "Everything's fine. How are you both?"

"We're good," Ian says as Erik nods. "What's up?"

"Are Harry and Damon here too?"

Ian nods. "They're inside," he says, gesturing to the building. "Want me to get them?"

"No, that's okay. I would like to talk to all of you, though. I was wondering if I could come over this evening. I'm not working."

Ian's brows lift in surprise. Erik is quiet as usual, but watching me closely. "Sure," Ian says. "We should be home around our usual time."

I can't keep the smile from spreading across my face. I'm still nervous, but I have hope.