A Million Kisses in Your Lifetime: A Lancaster Prep Novel

I HAVEN’T BEEN this grateful for a Friday in years.

Sometimes Fridays make me sad. They would make me miss my family when I was stuck at school. It was hard at first, adjusting to going to boarding school. Having to share a room with a virtual stranger, never feeling like I got time by myself. I did my best though, and eventually got used to it.

But Fridays were hard. Sometimes they still are, especially lately, as my friends grow more and more distant. I was so excited to have my own room, until I started missing having a roommate. Someone to talk to, even if it’s forced.

That’s how pitiful I was feeling only a month ago, if that.

At least we’ll have a shorter schedule next week so that’s something to look forward to, with winter break starting the week after that.

Will Crew and I actually see each other over the break?

I hope so.

I go to the dining hall early to pick up a muffin and coffee, stopping short when I see Maggie already there, standing in line. I immediately go to her, and when our gazes connect, she walks straight out of the line and wraps me up in a tight hug.

“I’m sorry I didn’t text you. Yesterday was—rough.”

I slowly pull away from her, glancing around the room, noting the curious gazes as people blatantly watch us. “Want to talk somewhere private?”

She shakes her head. “I’d rather pretend none of it is happening.”

I want to argue with her, tell her that’s probably not the healthiest way to handle this situation, but I don’t know what it’s like, what she’s going through. She has to be overwhelmed.

And I don’t think she knows about the Natalie part of her and Fig’s equation.

“I’m going home this weekend,” she tells me as we make our way to the back of the line. “I need to talk to my mom.”

“Are you going to tell her?”

“Not everything,” she whispers. “Just this part.”

She waves a hand in the general vicinity of her stomach.

I can’t imagine telling my mother I was pregnant while still in high school. She’d freak out—in the most elegant way, of course. “Won’t she be curious about who…”

“I’m going to tell her it’s Franklin.”

Wait a second—now she’s going to lie? I’m sure she can see the shock on my face.

“I don’t know what else to do. I don’t want to get Fig in trouble,” Maggie stresses. “We’ll figure it out. Eventually.”

I don’t tell her about Natalie being with Fig. That would devastate her, and I don’t know how to break it to her. What if she doesn’t believe me?

I’ve gone through high school blissfully unaware of all the drama. Ignorant to the problems people are facing daily. Now I’m neck deep, and it’s…

A lot to take in.

“Are you upset with Crew?” She makes a sympathetic face and I realize she’s referring to the Crew and Natalie situation.

The gossip has settled down from twenty-four hours ago, but there are still whispers in the halls and giggles in the classroom. Psychology was torture yesterday, with Natalie in there with us. She spent all of her time glaring at the two of us from across the room, completely ignoring poor Sam, who was trying to engage her in conversation. Ezra kept dropping insults here and there, all of them aimed at Crew.

It was a nightmare.

One I’m going to have to face again, but at least I always have Crew by my side, glowering at all of them. He’s so intimidating when he’s angry.

It’s kind of hot.

I shouldn’t find something like that attractive, but I do.

“It’s not true,” I tell Maggie, hating how she frowns. “He wasn’t with Natalie that night. They ran into each other.”

“Oh, Wren. Is that what he told you?”

She feels sorry for me, I can tell. Which is kind of hilarious, considering she’s pregnant with our English teacher’s baby.

“I have my reasons for believing him,” I say, my tone a little snotty. I feel defensive, and I don’t like that. “Just like you have yours for your situation.”

That renders her silent for the rest of the time we wait in line. Once I order my coffee and muffin, I go stand beside her as we wait for our names to be called.

“You think I’m dumb, don’t you?” Maggie says, looking anywhere but at me.

“What do you mean?”

She turns toward me. “What you said, how I have my reasons for believing him. My situation is different from yours, Wren. I’m in love with him. Things are serious. Our whole lives are changing, while you’ve got the meanest boy in class chasing after you like he’s trying to corrupt you,” she explains, her nose wrinkling.

I’m offended. The last thing I want to do is fight with her, but I can’t believe she said that.

“I know that you’re going through a lot, but that doesn’t mean you can belittle my problems,” I say.

“Mine feel a little bigger than yours,” she retorts.

“And what, is it a competition? There is so much going on that you don’t even know,” I tell Maggie. “I can’t explain it all now, but later I will.”

“Whatever.” The barista calls her name and she marches over to the counter, grabbing her coffee. Decaf, I might add. She turns to look at me, a pitying expression on her face. “Hope you have fun getting your heart destroyed.”

I almost say, right back at you.

But I keep my mouth shut.

Crew didn’t show up to English, and when I tried texting him, he didn’t answer, which hurt.

Made me angry too.

I’m probably being too sensitive, but I’m worried. Scared. Where is he? What’s going on? Has anything changed?

I just hope he’s all right. It’s so foreign to me, caring about Crew. Of course I’ve worried about friends and family, but never someone I’ve become romantically involved with. It’s a different kind of feeling. All-consuming.

A little heartbreaking.

I go through the motions the rest of the day, hiding away in the library during lunch, finishing up my paper for English. Crew and I worked on our project presentation in psychology yesterday and I feel pretty good about it. We turned in our outline to Skov, and she’s returning them today with tips and suggestions. I’m so grouchy though. I can’t stop thinking about Crew and where he could be. Why didn’t he text me? How busy is he, that he can’t even manage to send me a quick response?

This is probably why I should avoid boys. They cause us nothing but trouble.

When I’m walking into my last class, I’m apprehensive, knowing I’ll have to deal with Natalie most likely alone, since Crew has been MIA all day.

But to my surprise, Crew is sitting at his desk, laughing with Malcolm and even Ezra, who was furious with him only yesterday.

Natalie isn’t there at all.

The moment Crew sees me, his eyes light up. I make my way to the back of the classroom, trying to keep my composure so I don’t throw myself at him and hug him tight. I’ve been worried about him all day, yet here he sits, smiling and joking.

“Birdy,” he greets me as I fall into my chair.

I stare at him, but don’t say anything in greeting.

Malcolm chortles. Ezra makes a low ooooooh sound.

Crew frowns. “You okay?”

“I really don’t want to talk about this in front of them.” I send a look in Ezra and Malcolm’s direction.

“Ah, come on, Wren. We’re his best mates. If you can’t talk about it in front of us, who can you talk about it with?” Malcolm lifts his brows.

“Shut up,” Crew snaps at him. “Leave her alone.”

Malcolm holds his hands up in front of him. “Sorry. Just trying to keep the mood light. Didn’t know there was already trouble between you two.”

“I didn’t either.” Crew’s gaze settles on mine.

I look away, vaguely annoyed with all three of them.

I don’t know how to act around him, and I’m uncomfortable talking about any of this in front of his friends. I wish we were alone, so he could hold me and tell me everything was going to be okay.

Skov enters the room seconds later, far ahead of the final bell for once. She appears flustered, settling her stack of binders and books on top of her desk before she comes to stand in front of the class, her hands on her hips as she studies all of us.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this,” she says, loud enough to get all of our attention. “But I read over all the outlines last night and…you’re all on the right track. I don’t really have any major suggestions for any of you.”

We all start cheering. There’s clapping and yelling, and I can’t help but smile, relief flooding me.

“Okay, okay. Settle down. I’m going to pass back your outlines now, and there are a few suggestions on them, so please read and take what I said into consideration. My biggest concern is time. You’ve all seemed to learn so much about each other, I’m worried we won’t be able to get to all of the presentations next week during your scheduled exam time,” Skov explains.

She goes to her desk and grabs a stack of papers, then starts passing them out. “I was hoping a few of you might feel confident enough to give your presentation today, though I totally understand if you don’t feel up to it. I am springing it on you unannounced.”

Just thinking about making the presentation right now makes my legs go weak. I need to gear up for something like this, presenting in front of the class, especially since I’m doing it with Crew.

I’m still irritated with him for never texting me.

Skov stops by my desk, dropping the outline on top of it. “Excellent work, you two. I can’t wait to see this presentation.”

She walks away and I pick the paper up, looking at her suggestions. She really didn’t make any. Just lots of glowing comments and a few red exclamation points by specific parts on the paper.

“I think she liked it,” Crew murmurs, leaning over to scan the paper.

I turn toward him, not realizing he’s so close. “I’m mad at you.”

“I know.” He drifts his fingers across the top of my hand. I snatch it away from his reach. “I’ll explain everything later. I got called in. I was interviewed all morning.”

I’m frowning. “Interviewed? By who?”

“I’ll tell you later. Hey.” I blink at him. “You want to give this presentation now?”

“What? No way.” I shake my head.

“Come on, we can get it out of the way. Looking at her lack of constructive comments, I’m thinking we’ve got this thing on lock. We could give it in a couple of minutes, tops.”

“I don’t like speaking in public,” I admit.

“Are you serious? You’re always talking to people.”

“Not in front of a full class of students. Talking about myself and comparing and contrasting between the two of us. That’s just—intimidating.”

“Look, we’re going to be fine. Just follow the outline. Follow me. I won’t lead you astray.” He smiles, and I think with that smile alone Crew could lead me astray forever and ever.

“I don’t know…”

“We’re doing it.” He shoots his hand up despite my cry of protest. The moment Skov spots him, she nods in his direction.

“Please tell me you two are volunteering.”

He sets his hand on his desk. “We are.”

“All right. I’ll give you a few minutes to prepare. Let me know when you’re ready.” Skov makes her way to her desk, the rest of the classroom talking among themselves.

I glare at Crew, anxiety over this sudden presentation leaving me cold. A little shaky. “I am so not ready for this.”

“Wren.” He grabs hold of both of my hands and gives them a shake, his gaze boring into mine. “You’ve got this. It won’t be that hard. We’ll talk for three minutes tops, and we’ll be sharing that time. Ninety seconds. That’s it. I know you can do it.”

The way he’s looking at me, as if I can conquer the world, fills me with the tiniest flicker of courage.

“I don’t know…”

He squeezes my hands again. “Let’s go over the outline.”

So we do, me reading my parts to myself while he gives me pointers. I’ve seen Crew talk in front of a class before and it never seems to bother him. He has this effortless way about himself, a confidence I only wish I had.

“You’ve got this. Come on.” He rises to his feet and I follow on shaky legs, walking behind him to the front of the classroom. Skov watches us, a faint smile on her face.

“Are you ready?”

Crew nods. “Yep.”

Her gaze falls on me. “How about you, Wren?”

I nod. “Yes,” I lie.

No matter how much I prepare, I won’t be ready. I guess Crew is right.

We should just get this over with.

Crew starts talking and I follow his lead, interjecting with my observations. He explains our differences, while I offer our similarities, and after a while, we’ve established a rhythm, bouncing back and forth between each other. I’m feeling more confident. Standing taller, speaking louder. There are a few bored faces in the crowd, but for the most part, they seem interested and I have a realization near the end.

At least we’re doing this without Natalie here.

We’re just about to wrap it up when Crew mentions one last observation.

“I know I’ve talked mostly about our differences while Wren spoke of our similarities. I do have to mention that before I got to know Wren, I wasn’t a big fan of lollipops.” His gaze meets mine, a smirk on his face, and I suddenly want to die. “But she’s convinced me that they’re delicious, especially when she shares them.”

He pulls a couple of Blow Pops out of his pocket and starts tossing them, one directly at Ezra, who catches it with one hand.

Okay. He’s trying to make me die of embarrassment. Clearly.

“And that’s it,” I say, my voice weak.

Skov starts clapping and so does the rest of the class. “Interesting last point, Crew. Not sure why you felt the need to make it, but I’m glad you two could find some commonalities after all. I knew you would.”

“Thanks, Ms. Skov,” he drawls.

“Not the best usage of visuals, but I did spring this on you so I won’t mark you down for it,” Skov continues.

Smiling briefly over at Skov, I rush back to my seat, Crew following after me. I’m mortified he mentioned the lollipop thing, but no one else knows what it means.

Just us.

And if I’m being honest with myself…

I like that we have a secret, only the two of us can share.

“We still getting together tonight?” he asks once we’re both seated and Skov is trying to con more people into giving their presentation early. “We have a lot to catch up on.”

“You’re right. Like where you were earlier today.” I let my emotions shine through, my irritation obvious.

It doesn’t even faze him.

“I can’t talk about that now. Maybe later? Like tonight?”

This is a moment of truth. Agreeing to see him later means our “relationship” is most likely going to progress.

Sexually.

Am I ready for it? Is this what I really want?

“I’ve missed you,” he adds when I still haven’t said anything.

I lean in closer to him, not wanting other people to hear me. “I can’t believe you brought up the lollipops.”

“Blow Pops are now officially my favorite candy.” He’s smiling. Actually, it’s more like he’s—

Grinning.

“It was embarrassing,” I whisper.

“No one caught on, Birdy. Don’t worry about it.” He slouches in his seat, something he does often, and I hate to admit it but, he does it really well. Why do I find his sprawling so attractive? “You’re cute when you blush.”

“You used to hate me. Is that why you still torture me?”

“I don’t hate you anymore,” he murmurs, his gaze warm. “I actually kind of like you.”

I arch a brow. “Only kind of?”

“Do you still hate me?” he asks, avoiding my question.

“When you do stuff like drag me up in front of the classroom and mention one of my most embarrassing moments, yes.” I sniff.

“Most embarrassing? Really? I thought it was hot.”

I’m growing hotter just thinking about it.

“Been thinking a lot about a repeat performance,” he continues. “Though we don’t have to involve candy this time.”

I glance down at my desk, letting my hair fall forward. I’ve been thinking about doing it again too. I’ve been curious about his body. As in, I want to see it.

All of it.

“Don’t get shy on me now,” he teases.

Turning toward him, I brush my hair away from my face. “You know I’m shy.”

“Shy and sexy. A good girl with a secret bad side. I like that about you, Birdy.”

“Really?”

He nods. Changes the subject. “I wish we could get out of here for the weekend.”

I frown. “What do you mean?”

“I’m sick of this place.” His voice drips with disgust. “It’s been a rough week. Today was brutal.”

I wish I knew what happened, but I’m sure he’ll eventually tell me.

“This week has been…a lot,” I agree.

His hot gaze lingers on me. “Would you run away with me for the weekend?”

I laugh at his joke, but he doesn’t laugh with me. His expression remains deadly serious.

Wait a minute.

“You actually want to run away?”

“We could leave tonight. Come back Sunday.”

“What would I tell my parents?”

“Nothing. You wouldn’t tell them at all.”

I glance around the room, watching as Skov goes over an outline with someone. She’s not paying attention to us. No one is.

“Finals are next week,” I remind him. “We can’t just leave. We need to study.”

“Really, Wren? You’re going to turn me down to study?” He arches a brow.

“I’ve never just—ran away before, Crew. My parents know where I am, at all times.”

“Tell them you’re going out of town with a friend, because that’s what we are, right? Friends?” His sly smile reminds me we are anything but friends.

“I’m not an impulsive person,” I say primly.

“Sometimes we need to change it up. Come on. I’ll make a couple of calls. Find us a hotel somewhere.”

“In the mountains?” The words slip from my mouth as if I have no control.

“You want to go to the mountains?”

I nod. “That’s what I originally wanted to do for my birthday. Go on a little trip with my friends.”

“Let’s do it then. We can leave tonight. We can use the plane if we have to. Hopefully it’s available.”

My family is wealthy. We have money. But we don’t have a plane.

The Lancaster wealth is unfathomable.

“I don’t know…” My voice drifts and a soft gasp leaves me when Crew settles his hand over mine.

“Come on. Just say yes.”

I stare at him, conflicted. If Daddy found out I went away on a weekend trip with a boy, he’d be devastated. Especially if that boy was someone like Crew.

Angry.

Disappointed.

And I never want to disappoint him. Especially after the promise I’ve made.

But that promise is starting to feel more unimportant, the longer I spend time with Crew.

He interlocks his fingers with mine, basically holding my hand in front of everyone in class, his middle finger brushing over the diamond ring my father gave me, and I give my answer before I can overthink it.

“Yes.”