A Hue of Blu

Year One/York University – Three Years Ago

“I can’t believe we’re here, babe.”

Riley sat on my dorm single, flipping through our high-school graduation yearbook.

“Oh my gosh,” she squealed, bobbing up and down.

I glanced at her tits, then her face. “What?”

“My lipstick still hasn’t faded on the paper. See?” She showed me the puckered outline of her lips pressed below her signature.

I decided to give her a kiss of my own, which turned to her blowing me, which turned to me fingering her before my roommate Bryce came in.

If he suspected we were fooling around, he didn’t show it. I met him briefly at the orientation but he was a quiet guy; kept to himself, sort of reminded me of Max.

Sort of reminded me of myself before I made the switch from loser to heartthrob.

“You’re so big,” Riley had whispered in my ear before she left the room.

I know, I thought. I know.

“Hey man,” I addressed Bryce who was settled at his desk, textbook already flipped to a wordy page.

He nodded at me. That’s it.

I walked up to him, glancing over his shoulder. I felt him tense up. “What class is this for?”

“Our intro class.” He highlighted a few lines, scribbled some letters in the margin, and hiked his glasses higher. “We have a quiz next week.”

“Yep,” I said, pushing away from the desk. “That’s next week’s problem.”

“That’s not how you want to start university,” he advised.

I remember it was a jab to the gut.

I remember because I’d said that to Morris first year of high school when he downed seven shots at a Summer’s Eve party.

I remember because Will had said it to me when I’d followed in Morris’ footsteps.

For some reason, that one line struck a cord with me and I threw myself into books and soccer. They became a priority of mine.

Soccer.

Academics.

Riley.

Nothing else mattered. I had tunnel vision for the things I wanted. The things I wanted knew I wanted them.

One night, Riley came over when I was studying for an exam. She’d dressed up in sexy lingerie and showed up in a trench coat, kind of like the girls you see in movies.

Little did she know, Bryce was there helping me study. She didn’t drop the coat, thank God, but she was pissed for reasons I could not explain.

“You’re always studying now,” she complained. “I never get to see you.”

“I always see you.” It wasn’t a lie. She came over at least four times a week.

“I mean, see me, see me,” she glanced at Bryce. “The nerd is always here.”

I slid my textbook from my lap and pulled her into the hallway. “That was rude, Riley. He’s really been helping me.”

“With what?”

“With my classes, baby. I practice every day. I have a tournament coming up and a scout from The Academy is coming. I need to maintain my GPA to keep my scholarship.”

She rolled her eyes, huffing with annoyance. “I just miss you, you know.”

We kissed in the storage room closet for half an hour until our lips were both raw and red.

“I love you,” I’d said. At the time I really meant it.

“I love you too, Jace,” she repeated back to me.

Two weeks later, she surprised me with EDC festival tickets.

Two and a half weeks later, she took the tickets back. Said she needed to sell them for extra cash.

Three weeks later, I found out from her Snapchat story that she never sold the tickets and was sitting on some other guy’s shoulders at the festival.

A string of “I’m sorry” texts followed the aftermath of her breaking my heart without actually telling me she was going to do it.

No warning.

Just selfish acts from a selfish girl.

A girl who could lie about loving me.

Four weeks later, The Academy scout watched me play the worst game of my life.

And one month later, my dreams of pursing a career in soccer were crushed indefinitely.

All because I fell in love.