Chapter 38- Truths and lies
“Betrayal doesn’t come from enemies. Your enemies cannot betray you. Betrayal comes from people you trust. The ones who violate your faith in them. And hurts most when the depth of trust runs deep.”
-Word speak
I pulled away from Rowan and moved to head towards the lower deck to check on Tobias.
Rowan held tight to my wrist. “Where are you going?”
“I’m going to check on Tobias. I need to make sure he’s okay. He was hit by Xandra’s power back in the Hidden Realm. He stopped breathing and nearly died saving me from that bolt of power.”
Rowan’s eyebrows knitted together.
“Hey,” I said caressing his jaw. “I’ll be back before you know it and I’m safe now.”
He nodded. All traces of worry wiped away.
I left him to deal with the aftermath of the chaos that had just taken place. The lower deck was a tiny space for storage and a small cot. It wasn’t much and it pained me to have left Tobias alone here while anarchy ensued above.
He still lay unconscious on the cot where Viktorya and I had left him. I took a seat next to him and watched as he inhaled and exhaled, very much alive. I moved his hair away from his face which had fallen carelessly over his eyes. His hair had grown so much over the last couple of months. He was handsome, charismatic, and would make a wonderful king. He had an alluring quality about him when he wasn’t trying so hard to make you dislike him.
Crystal blue eyes opened and captured me.
“Tobias,” I smiled happily. “You’re awake.”
“I see we made it back,” he managed to get out.
I scrambled to find water in the small storage area. I gently held his face as I poured a small amount of water into his mouth.
He pulled something out of his pocket. He held my moonstone pendant. I thought I’d lost it for good. He gently placed it in my open hand.
“Thank you,” I mumbled.
I smiled, grateful he had retrieved my necklace.
“Don’t look at me like that,” he whispered as he looked away from me.
My mouth opened and closed several times before I could figure out how to respond. A small ache in my chest began to bloom. “Look at you how?”
“Like you care,” he murmured.
The ache in my chest grew and would certainly swallow me whole if I let it.
“I do care about you, Tobias,” I whispered, matching his volume.
“You don’t love me anymore,” he continued.
A sharp pain replaced the growing ache in my chest. I struggled not to grab the phantom pain in my heart.
Did I tell him the truth? The truth I had not dared think about or utter aloud. Would these words betray Rowan? The sheer pain in his eyes brought the words spilling from my mouth.
“I lied, Tobias.”
His sapphire eyes continued to hold mine. They pleaded for me to continue.
It was like word vomit. Once I allowed myself to speak the words, they tumbled out. “I lied when I said I didn’t love you, Tobias. I think a part of me will always love you, but you broke my heart when you chose power over what we had...over what we could have had together. You lost my trust, Tobias. That month apart, you could have found me, but you chose to stay away. I heard nothing from you. Nothing.”
I was breathing heavily by the end of my rant. His penetrating gaze held me still, unable to move an inch.
“You want the truth, Penelope?” The tenor of his voice seductively curled around my name lovingly, darkly.
“We owe each other the truth,” I said boldly. But could I handle the truth?
“Fine.” He sat up slowly and perched himself against the wall.
“Go on,” I rushed him. What could he honestly have to say to me that would magically fix everything he’d done or hadn’t done?
He met my hard gaze with a steely one of his own.
“The honest reason I couldn’t just leave the game was because of Killian and Georgiana.”
Of all the things I had expected for him to say, this wasn’t one of them.
“Georgiana and Killian? What do they have to do with anything that happened?”
“Everything, Penelope. Everything.”
“Explain.”
He sighed. His pale skin had begun to regain some color but he needed to see a physician.
“I had decided to leave the game once I’d found out we weren’t going to be paired together, but then Killian told me the news. He and Georgiana were expecting. It killed me to not say anything and advise him to use the only slot given to competitors to leave the game. The only chance I had of living a life with you. How could I choose my own happiness over the happiness of our best friends? Our best friends who were going to bring a child into the world. I couldn’t do it. The mandate only allowed one group to leave the game willingly. It had to be him to use it. It had to be.”
I couldn’t breathe. The walls in the small room had begun to move in on me. How had I forgotten the mandate? How did it not cross my mind that Killian would need that slot in order to raise his child with Georgiana? How had I been so selfish?
Before I could rush out of the ever-shrinking room, Tobias continued. “After, I tried to find a way to get myself thrown out, but Siobhan caught on. She was blackmailing me. She threatened to have you tossed out of the game and to have your good name slandered. She mentioned she caught you in a scandalous position with someone the night before and threatened to out you to the council and Thelonious. I had to agree to put on a show for the council and the Trinity at the ball. It was working until Rowan caught us fighting about it in one of the halls. I hadn’t realized she was the reason you were gone until it was too late.”
I shook my head vigorously. It couldn’t be true. Rowan couldn’t have known any of this. He would have told me.
“Why didn’t you write or try to get in contact with me after I had been sent home?”
His eyes narrowed. “I did, Penelope. Ask Rowan.”
That was it. The last straw. I couldn’t handle hearing anymore if there was anymore. I stumbled out of the room as Tobias called after me.
I scrambled up the stairs, desperate for answers from Rowan.
The group I had left had dramatically shrunk. The only Guardians in white that were left were Opal and Diamond. The others had escorted their prisoners to land on the other boat. Thomas leaned against the steering mechanism watching everyone. He stood straight upon seeing the look of utter betrayal on my face. He knew me well.
Ivy and Willow lounged on the sofa I had occupied hours before. Viktorya sat huddled with Lucas discussing who knew what and Rowan leaned against the rail staring at me. Waiting for me to speak, waiting for me to react, waiting...
Opal spoke, slicing through the tension with her question. “Does this mean Tobias and Viktorya are going to be crowned King and Queen? Didn’t Viktorya’s partner get disqualified for lying about his age?
Viktorya’s eyes lit up.
“Actually,” Rowan began. His eyes flicked towards me. His pained expression signaled there would be more truths and lies to uncover.
He continued, “Penelope and George will be reinstated into the game and Tobias and Viktorya will be paired. One final trial will take place in two weeks.”
I looked around at our group, now joined by Tobias who leaned against the entrance to the lower deck.
I turned towards Rowan. “How long have you known?” I asked calmly.
“Moonstone,” he pleaded.
“Don’t you Moonstone me,” I yelled as I neared him. “How long have you known?”
He swallowed roughly. “Since I went to see you at your home.”
I didn’t remember raising my hand or swinging it as his beautifully sculpted face. All I felt was the pain in my hand, but it was nothing compared to the pain that tore through my chest.
His betrayal ran deep into my soul. He had known about Siobhan’s blackmail and my being reinstated. What else had he known about?
“Did Tobias write to me?” I asked flatly.
His celestial eyes bore into mine, begging me to understand. He remained quiet.
“Answer me!”
He flinched. I could feel everyone’s gaze upon us.
“Didn’t you think I’d choose you over the crown? I said answer me!”
“I didn’t think you’d choose me over Tobias at the time,” he whispered.
“I don’t know what I would have decided but it was my choice to make. You robbed me of a choice. You lied,” I said, my voice breaking. “Last night...”
Memories of our previous night together flashed through my mind, soft kisses and tangled bodies.
“Moonstone...”
“Don’t you dare call me that!” I said ripping off the necklace he’d gifted me. I wanted to throw it at him, but it had belonged to his mother. I held it out for him to take.
“I’m sorry,” he said flatly.
I turned away from him, not able to meet his gaze. Thomas pulled me under his arm and steered me to the helm of the boat. “Let’s get you to land, Pen.”
I nodded. Anywhere to get away from the pitying glances from those aboard the boat.
The trip back to land was an easy and quick one, thankfully. Rowan didn’t follow me to our inn. Thomas escorted me to get my things and let me stay at his place for the night before reporting to the council in the morning and being reinstated into the game. As if I had a choice but to be reinstated.
I laid in Thomas’s bed that night, while he laid on a bedroll on the floor, and contemplated how things would have been different if Rowan had just been honest. Or would have been different at all?
Thomas snaked his hand up to meet my own and intertwined our fingers. I knew this wasn’t what he needed but above all else that had happened between us, we were friends.
“Thanks for being the bestest friend any girl could ever ask for, Thomas. Friends forever,” I whispered.
“For infinity, Pen. Infinity.”
***
The crisp cool wind raised the hairs on my arms while the mist clung to my skin. Two twin moons floated in the sky as I watched them from a field of orange and yellow flowers. I had been here before. On my very first visit with Xandra. I was in the Hidden Realm.
I followed the path to the temple of white stone. I ascended the steps and passed beneath the arch. I didn’t know what to expect, but I wasn’t scared. I’d face it head-on.
Kaitha stood in the same place Xandra had so many months ago. Her crown of stars glowed brightly in the night. Her dark skin shone brilliantly against the golden form-fitting dress she wore.
“Welcome, Penelope of Iweah.”
I did a mixture of a curtsy and a bow which brought a smile to her lethal but kind face.
“I have brought you here to share the news of our sister’s fate for you to carry back to Iweah. The Great Mother has cast her daughter into the pits of Taweah to oversee the worst of your kind. She will no longer be a threat to you or your world. Go live in peace and carry the blessings of my sister and our mother into the game of crowns. May you prosper and reign.”
My eyes fluttered open to Thomas’s room for a second before falling shut and drifting into a dreamless slumber.