2513

Matthew came to and looked around disoriented. He looked around and took his bearings. He realized that he was sitting in the backseat of Nick’s car.

“Well, that was a wash,” Nick said. Jake snorted in agreement.

“So what happens if you can’t find another timeline for Matthew here?”

Nick sighed, ’we then have to go to the powers that be. I doubt they will be pleased with the events.”

Jake looked over, “and what happens to him?”

Nick looked back quickly, not noticing that Matthew was awake. “If I had my guess, they will just snuff out his soul.”

Jake gave Nick a hard stare, “They can do that?”

“They are gods,” Nick answered, “They can do whatever they wish. I know that they have done it only once in the last few thousand years.

It wasn’t pretty. And it caused chaos and discord for eons.”

“Snuffed?” Matthew repeated.

Jake looked back, “so awake are we?”

Matthew sat up, “Sorry about that back there.”

Nick looked at him through the rear view mirror, “Hey, if it’s not your future, it’s not your future. We will just figure out something else.”

Matthew looked at him with worry, “how long before you have to tell your superiors about me?”

Nick looked back at the traffic and would not make eye contact. “Let’s not worry about that.”

“Let’s get back to Reggie’s and plan our next attempt.”

The rest of the car ride was silent with all three lost in thought.

The relaxed atmosphere of Back To Good did little to improve the mood of the three as they sat around the table and contemplated their next move. With every suggestion suggested, another would come up with a reason why it had already been tried.

After a couple of hours, Reggie came over to the table and sat down.

“So I guess the vampire thing didn’t work out?” Reggie asked, “a pity. We could use some new blood.”

Matthew gave Reggie a weird look, “Well, it just wasn’t in the cards.”

Reggie asked, “So what’s next?”

The three were silent. Nick eventually spoke up, ’No clue. And we are running out of options.”

Reggie thought for a minute of two, “Have you thought about your job?”

Nick looked at him, “I don’t think I will lose my job over this.”

“No, no.” Reggie cut in, “I mean have you thought about him being a Reaper. I mean a ‘spiritual collector.’”

The three exchanged glances. Nick looked thoughtful while Matthew and Jake exchanged glances. Finally, Nick answered for the three of them.

“Why not.”

The mood of the group lightened a bit. Reggie looked happy that the three were starting to come out of their stupor. “I love it when people are in a good mood. Let’s celebrate. What can I get for you? Just name it! I am here to please.”

“Key Lime Pie,” Nick said.

“I am not in that good of a mood to please,” Reggie said.

Nick grimaced at that and Jake merely laughed. Matthew looked at the others and gave a sigh of relief. The thought of being made into nothing by some avenging god was really starting to weigh on him.

“You’re joking?” Nick said in a huff. “You want to make him a Reaper?”

“Tsk, Tsk,” Jake said with a hint of humor, “Spiritual Collection Agent. Reaper is not a conducive name for the new business model. Remember?”

Nick shot him a sideways glance, “Dude, screw you.”

“Is that any way to talk to the man that provides the excellent box seats at the Texans games?” Jake said mockingly, “I’m hurt.”

Nick just continued to mumble something under his breath.

Jake laughed, “I don’t think that I could possibly do that with the box seats. And I know you are angry at me, but why say such mean things about the horse I rode in on?”

Matthew just shook his head and looked at Reggie. “Are they always like this?”

Reggie shrugged, “They don’t get together that often. But when they do, this is the norm. An old married couple.”

Matthew looked over at Jake and Nick, “How long have you known each other.”

Nick thought about it for an instance, “A while. I think we met during the Civil War.”

Matthew’s eyes grew big, “you have been friends for over 150 years?”

Reggie laughed, “No a lot longer. He is talking about the English Civil War. The mid-1600s, you are looking at a couple of the original Cavaliers.”

Matthew just looked at the two and then grinned, “Reggie, do you honor their AARP cards?”

Reggie busted out laughing at the looks on Jake and Nick’s faces. “I really should.”

Nick just looked at Matthew and nodded his head. “Just wait till you are our age, you whippersnapper.”

Jake smiled, “Does that mean you’ll do it?”

“Yes.” Was the exasperated reply from Nick.

Matthew smiled. Then he looked at the two. “How did you two meet and become friends? After all, vampire and Reaper are pretty far apart in fields.”

Jake smiled reminiscing. Nick answered for the two of them.

“We fell in love with the same woman.” Nick looked over, “let’s get started.

“So tell me again,” Nick said, “who had the brilliant idea of you being a collection agent?”

Matthew took a deep breath and replied, “How hard can it be? You show up, act all mystical and zap their soul to the next world. A piece of cake.”

Nick sighed, “If only it were that easy.

“Sometimes a soul just refuses to be collected. That is problematic. You have to start the collection by a specific time, that will be indicated on your tablet. That is the easy part.”

Nick handed Matthew a ring. “Put this on.”

Matthew slipped the ring on and felt the ring adjust itself to become a snug fit. Nick continued, “Point is at the intended target and tap the ring and it should start glowing blue. That means that you have started the collection.”

“You will notice that you and the person will seem to no longer be visible to people around you. Now, you have to have the person you plan on collecting at this point, that is very important. If you miss that deadline,” Nick looked at Matthew, “Well we get you.”

Matthew gave a half smile. Nick went on, “but, once you have them in the blue, you are good. You can take your time to talk to them. To comfort them. To convince them to come to you.”

“And if they don’t?”

Nick gave him a stare, “Then you tap the ring again. You will see it will turn red. That is the forcible extraction. But be careful, you have to touch them to send their soul on. That is also the most painful collection you will do.

Not in terms of any sort of real pain for you physically. Well, not usually. But these you will chase all over the place in order to catch and collect their souls. Just make sure if that happens, that you try and keep up with them. If they get too far away…”

Matthew burst in, “What happens?”

“Then, they have broken the link with the ring and not only have you lost the soul, if they are too far from their body then, you have a ghost. They are doomed to haunt the Earth. You with me?”

Matthew looked thoughtful, “So, what happens if I get them to the car?”

Nick smiled, “That is the easy part. You drive to the drop off location, it is programmed into the GPS in the car, so just look for drop off point and you are good. They go in and their soul is whisked off to its proper afterlife.”

“Proper afterlife?”

“Yes,” Nick explained, “It is not our call as to where they go. Heaven, Hell, The Elysian Fields, Valhalla, Nirvana, even Wal-Mart, it is not our call. Someone higher up on the food chain figures that out.”

Nick stopped and thought for a moment, “Well, that is pretty much everything. Unless you have any other questions, your assignment is loaded. We will be waiting for you here. “

“Thanks.” Matthew turned to head to Nick’s car.

He took one last look at Nick and Jake before getting in and starting the car. He put it in gear and drove off.

Jake watched the car as it drove off. “I give him two hours before he comes back in shame.”

Nick gave him an odd look, “Ye of little faith,” then added, “You are probably right though.”

Once Matthew came to his first stop sign he grabbed the tablet and called up his assignment. He scrolled down till he found one.

“This will do nicely.” He said to himself. He reached over on to the GPS and typed in the address. He heard the beep of the GPS as it calculated the directions.

“2153 Abes Drive is 11 miles and 18 minutes away. Start by heading west on Front Avenue…”

Matthew smiled in satisfaction. “A simple collection,” he thought.

Matthew slowed the car as it neared his destination. He was unsure how to approach the subject. He felt that just knocking on the door and announcing he was here for their soul would work. He had to get in the house where he could work unobserved.

He nodded, “Yes, out of the way and in an enclosed space is the best way to approach it.”

He stopped in front of the house and looked at the nondescript brick house. Nothing really separated it from any other house in this neighborhood, one story. Matthew noticed that it had a chimney and a large bay window in front.

He glanced at his pad and took stock of the name,

“Regina Dillard. 2153 Abes Drive.“ he read aloud. “Sounds easy enough.” He got out of the car and walked up the driveway to the front door. Passing garden gnomes and weird fairy statues, he wondered exactly what kind of person he was about to meet.

The front door was a dark mahogany color, bringing out the rich texture of the wood. He looked down at the welcome mat and chuckled at the ‘wipe your paws’ printed on it. Apparently a dog lover. “Hope she doesn’t have a dog,” he thought.

Finally, he reached out and rapped on the door. Knocking three times and then waiting to see who answered. He was about to knock again when he heard the lock click and the door started to open.

The door opened and there stood a woman that looked to be in her late 50s, with brown hair that was starting to go gray. She looked to be around 5’2” or 5’3”, definitely a shorter woman that had put on a few pounds.

Matthew immediately felt at ease, he had been afraid of trying to collect the soul of a person that might be able to resist; he figured this one would pose no problem and he would be on his way to a new life.

He smiled at the woman, saying, “Good afternoon ma’am…”

“Oh,” the woman cut him off, “It is about time you got here. I have been expecting you all afternoon! Come in, we have a lot to do before we can leave.”

Matthew looked confused for a moment but figured that if she was expecting to go somewhere, then why not use it to his advantage.

“I’m sorry,” he remarked as he followed her in, “I got hung up in traffic.”

“I totally understand.” She said politely, “traffic can be a pain.”

She led him into her kitchen and looked at him, “Coffee?”

He shook his head, “No, I think we should really be going.”

She gave him a scowl, “Hmmpph, we have time for at least one cup of coffee.” She motioned towards a chair at the table and said, “Sit. Sit.”

He reluctantly sat and watched her as she moved around the kitchen. He looked at the décor of the kitchen, taking in the country theme and all the rooster prints on the wall and the curtains.

He chuckled when he noticed that even the jars on the counter were shaped like roosters. He was about to say something when he felt something brush against his leg. He stood up suddenly and looked down to see a Yorkie looking at him suspiciously.

“Oh, that’s Max.” the woman said, “he just wants your attention.”

He sat down and took a look at him. The dog was wagging his small tail and pushing his head against Matthew’s hand. He noticed that Max seemed to be blind in one eye.

He looked over to her as he was reaching down to pet him.

“He is up there in years, so he has a few vision problems. But he still gets out there and barks at dogs two and three times his size. Why just the other day he challenged a Rottweiler to a fight.” She chuckled, “if I hadn’t gone out there to get him, I am sure he would have tried to bite him. Good luck with that, he is missing his canines.”

Matthew looked down at Max, “Missing?”

“Yes, the little fellow is over twelve years old. But he still acts like he is in the prime of his life.”

Matthew looked back down at Max and thought, “Maybe I am here for Max. I wonder if there IS a reaper for dogs? I’ll have to ask Nick.”

Suddenly Max backed away and started barking at him. Matthew pulled his hand back and looked over at the woman. She shrugged her shoulders, “Sometimes he wants all of a person’s attention. He usually is very friendly.”

She placed a coffee mug in front of Matthew and sat down herself with one. She took a sip and looked over to him. Matthew obligingly took a sip as well and then set the cup down.

“So are you excited about the trip?” she asked.

“I am eager to do something new, yes.” He responded.

Her eyes narrowed, “I thought that you had been doing this for years. After all, that is what the agency had said.”

He went tense for a second, and hastily replied, “Every trip is a new experience.”

She smiled at that and nodded her head. Getting up, she looked over to him. “I will get my jacket.”

He followed her to the living room, followed closely by a barking Max at his heals. Once they arrived in the living room, he tapped the ring and watched as it began its glow. He noticed the room slow down for a second and then the world around them go gray.

She stopped and turned around in shock. “What is going on?” she demanded.

He looked at her sadly and smiled, “I am afraid that we are going on a different sort of trip.”

She looked at him in horror, “You aren’t one of those sexual monsters, are you? The ones that rape and murder defenseless women?”

He tried to smile, “No. I am sad to say that you have died and it is time for me to take your soul over to the other side.”

She looked at him in disbelief then looked over to see her crumpled body lying on the floor with Max barking madly at her.

She called out to him, “Max! Here I am!” But Max acted as if he did not hear anything and kept barking. She turned to Matthew angrily, “You put me back this instant!”

He shook his head, “I can’t do that.”

With that, he reached out his hand out to hers, “Come, it is time to go.”

He saw her reach out to take his and next thing he knew he was flying backward and landed hard on his back. Looking up he saw her glare at him, “I will do it again if you come near me!”

With that, she ran out of the room into the kitchen screaming for help. Matthew groaned and pulled himself up and chased after her. “Just great!” he thought, “it was supposed to be a simple collection.”

He ran to the kitchen and looked to see that the door into another room was open. He rolled his eyes and went through it. Stepping into it, he saw her trying to open the garage door.

“There is no use in trying to escape,” he said soothingly, “you are dead and now it is time to cross over.”

She spun around and looked at him menacingly. She held up a large kitchen knife. “Don’t come any closer!”

“Really?” he asked in exasperation. “A knife? How will that stop the inevitable?”

She looked at him, and then the knife and with a desperate scream, she hurled it at him. He easily dodged the knife and took a step towards her. “Look,” he tried to reason with her, “you are coming with me anyway. Why fight it?”

She gave him a frightened stare and ran at him. Right before she reached him, he grabbed her arms and held her in a grip. He cursed because he had forgotten to tap the ring again and was trying to figure out how to do it without letting her go.

He was stopped mid thought as his body was racked in pain as her left knee came up hard in his groin. Dropping his hands to grab himself he slowly sank to his knees. Using it as a chance to break free, she ran screaming into the house.

Standing on his knees, he took several deep breaths before starting to slowly get up. He tapped the ring until it glowed a bright red. “Enough is enough,” he said to himself as a sort of curse.

He stormed into the house.

He found her crouched over her inert body smacking the body’s cheek pleading for it to wake up. All while Max continued to bark and wag his tail at the body.

“I am sorry Regina,” Matthew said through clenched teeth, “but you are going NOW.”

The woman stopped suddenly and looked at Matthew. “Regina? My name is Stacy.”

Matthew looked at her still grimacing in pain. “Wait, you are supposed to be Regina Dillard. This is 2153 Abes, right?

Stacy looked at him annoyed, “This is 2153 Abes alright. BUT, Regina Dillard lives at 2513 Abes Drive. I get her mail all the time by mistake.”

Matthew just stood and silently cursed for a second. He then looked at the woman that looked at him impatiently and with more than a little bit of anger.

Matthew gave her a sheepish grin and motioned to her body on the ground. “I suppose I will just undo all this and be on my way, ma’am.”

His response was an angry stare and a stomp of the foot. Matthew tapped the ring. Immediately Stacy’s eyes began to flutter open and Max, startled by being able to see Matthew and seeing that Stacy was moving again alternated his barks between a happy one for her and an annoyed bark for Matthew.

Matthew reached out his hand to help her up, which she refused getting up on her own. Matthew once again gave her an awkward smile and sheepishly said, “Sorry for the misunderstanding… uh, Stacy. I’ll be going now.”

Nick and Jake sat at the corner table at Back 2 Good lost in their respective thoughts. Every few moments one of them would glance at the clock that hung on the wall.

“How long has he been gone?” Jake asked taking a sip of his drink.

“About an hour.”

“I wonder how he’s doing. He has been gone for quite a while.”

“No way of knowing.”

Jake looked thoughtful. “How will we know if he succeeds or not? Will he come back and let us know. Be transported to his new role as a spiritual collection agent?”

“I hope he comes back. He has my car.”

Just then the door opened up and Matthew walked in. Both Jake and Nick sat their cups down and settled straighter in their chairs. The anticipation apparent on their faces.

Matthew slid into the seat and immediately buried his head in his hands and then ran his hands over his head and looked at the other two, then leaned back and closed his eyes.

“That doesn’t look promising,” Nick muttered.

“Bloody hell.” Jake tossed out, “What happened?”

Matthew stared hopelessly up at the ceiling for a moment and then let out a long sigh.

“Wrong address.” He said simply.

“What?” Jake asked

Nick shook his head and answered, “The bureaucracy. From time to time, the address is wrong or the name is wrong. Something little and we have to go make an adjustment. Inconvenient.”

“So now what?” Matthew inquired.

“I don’t have a clue,” Nick said simply.

“Fuck.”

“They can’t give up now!” Miles said to the computer, “They still have to make this work!”

He stood up and started pacing around the room. “How do I make them go to the right place? I have to figure out something!”

He paced, thought he had an inspiration and sat down to type. Only to have his hands fall away from the keyboard when he realized that it would not work out. He looked back at what he wrote earlier in the chapter and huffed.

“Damnit,” he cursed, “I am going to have to rewrite this whole chapter to make it work.”

He started to highlight the passages, then was struck with inspiration. Maybe he could-

Miles found himself sitting at the table next to the trio. He could overhear tidbits of their conversation.

“I guess we have to call Hades,” Nick said.

Matthew sounds worried, “Are you sure there isn’t something else you could try?”

Jake chimed in, “Do you have to do anything? Who would know if nothing was done.”

“We can’t” Nick shot back.

Miles stood up, walked to the other table and plopped down in the last open seat.

The three stared at him.

“I couldn’t help but overhear that you have a bit of a predicament.” He started.

Nick looked over at him, “I am sorry, but this is a private conversation.”

Jake stared at Miles, “Do I know you?”

Miles shook his head, “Not well. Let’s say that I know of you and just want to help.”

Matthew threw up his hands in exasperation, “Why not? The more the merrier!”

Miles smiled. Then said, “So you had a bit of trouble at the last shot at sorting this mess out.”

“Yes,” Nick asked as blandly as possible.

Jake still just stared at Miles, trying to figure out where they had seen each other before. It was right there, he thought, but he just couldn’t place him.

“You could say that again,” Matthew intoned.

“Wrong address, right?”

“Yes,” Nick said, his eyes narrowing in suspicion.

Miles smiled and then stood up.

“Then it’s simple,” Miles said as he started to leave.

“Go to the right address.”