Chapter 17
Lukas
“How did you put my needs first?” Clem’s eyes pulled together and I could tell that she was beyond pissed at me, “You left me in the dark about who killed my parents for seven years!”
“To tell you what happened to them meant to tell you about all of this,” I said, gesturing around us, “And you had already lost so much, I didn’t want to take away everything you thought you knew about the world. You were still in high school, you had so much to look forward to and knowing about me would’ve only slowed you down.”
“Do you even know what I wanted for myself before that day?” Her question took me by surprise.
“What?”
“I didn’t always want to study psychology and join the FBI. My parents being murdered and their case going unsolved did that to me. You did that to me.” She threw the words in my face.
I opened and closed my mouth like a fish, but couldn’t come up with the right response.
“I wanted to be a writer. I was already accepted into Columbia’s English program. A few weeks after my parents died, the local police department brought in the FBI. That’s when I first met a profiler and learned about what they did. I attended a seminar in Quantico a month later and applied to the University of Virginia by the end of the year.” Clem said while leaning back in her chair with her arms crossed over her chest.
I felt my blood run cold. I had no idea that Clementine’s original plans were to become a writer. I guess I never even thought about it.
“I didn’t know….”
“How could you? You made all these decisions about me and my life without even talking to me while I was conscious!” She shouted.
“I just didn’t want to be like all the other Alphas and werewolves when they meet their mate who’s younger than them.” I confessed, looking down at my hands on top of the cafe table. I couldn’t bring myself to look into my mate’s eyes and see all the pain I’ve caused her.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” She snapped.
“In my world, age gaps don’t matter. I know middle aged men who mate with 18 year old women, and those women end up as pregnant housewives in less than a year. I never wanted that for my mate. I wanted her to be able to do and be anything she wanted to be. When I realized you were so young, all I could think about was not taking your life from you. I wanted you to go through with your plans without the pressures of a werewolf pack and the matebond.”
I tried to let my raw emotions show, not something that was easy for an Alpha, but I needed her to sense my sincerity.
“You thought you could make me leave my dreams behind and become pregnant with werewolf babies before I could legally drink?” She cocked an eyebrow at me.
“Well, when you say it like that….” I muttered, feeling a little stupid, “I didn’t know you back then. I didn’t know how stubborn and strong you are. Now I know better and I know that I could never make you do something you didn’t already want to do.”
“My entire adult life could’ve been different if you would have just told me back then.” Clem sighed, her hands falling from her chest as her anger seemed to slowly fade away.
“I can’t change how I behaved back then, but I’ll spend the rest of my life making up for it. I promise I’ll never keep anything from you again.” I reached across the table and laid my empty hand down in front of her. She looked at it but didn’t move.
“I can’t trust you, Lukas.” She said,
“I’m not asking for your trust, not yet. I’m just asking for a chance.”
She stared at me in silence for a while, studying me and thinking. I would have given anything to be able to read her thoughts right now.
“Why did Bastian not talk to you when he was talking to me?” She asked, suddenly changing the subject. I was taken aback by her question, but answered it anyway,
“It took a lot of effort to project himself to you so he had to rest whenever he wasn’t with you.”
“But, he didn’t tell you he was doing it?”
“No.” I shook my head.
“Then, where did you think he was?”
“Honestly, I figured he was just pissed at me because I let you go and he was refusing to talk to me. Wolves are very dramatic.” I chuckled.
“Asshole.” Bastain huffed.
“Your eyes just went black.” Clem said with wide eyes, “I’ve seen that happen before but I just thought I was imagining it.”
“No, you weren’t. It’s what happens when we talk to our wolves. Whenever my eyes go black, Bastian is coming forward.” I smiled, loving her curiosity because it meant she wasn’t running away screaming or pointing a gun at me.
“What did he want?” Her head tilted to the side adorably.
“To call me an asshole.” I shrugged and the corner of her lips tugged upwards.
“Do you know why Bastian chose to leave you to talk to me?” She asked, biting her bottom lip nervously. Bastian growled low in my head and I resisted the urge to echo his desires.
“Being away from our mates can cause us to feel weak and frenzied. By him being with you, it made the effects on us less.”
“I really don’t understand this whole mate thing.” She grumbled to herself.
“It’s more of a feeling, an instinct, then something to understand. It’ll be more difficult for you to feel it at first, since you’re human, but, the more you give yourself to it, the more you’ll feel its effects.” I tried to explain.
“Is it normal for someone like you to…to have a mate like me?” She stumbled over the foreign words.
“It’s more common for us to mate within our own species, but it’s not very uncommon either, especially in the last century or so.” I assured her, my hand still waiting for hers in the center of the table.
“I’ve got a headache.” She huffed, rubbing her temples.
“What can I do?” I begged, resisting the urge to throw myself off the chair and at her feet. Her eyes met mine when she heard the concern in my voice.
“This is why you’re always so concerned about how I’m feeling and with my shoulder?” Her eyes narrowed on me.
“Being overbearing, possessive, and protective is in the job description of being an Alpha mate, yes. But, I’ve been trying to keep it reigned in for you.”
“That was you reigning it in?” She cocked an eyebrow at me and I laughed at her judgmental expression.
“Yeah, imagine that.” I teased.
“Can I ask you about the rogues?” Her face was serious again and she was back to biting her lip.
“You can ask me anything you want.” I said, more than a little distracted.
“Is that who attacked you?”
“Yes, it was, but none of those rogues were from seven years ago.” I assured her.
“How do you know?”
“Because I made sure to have every last one of them hunted down. My pack managed to capture quite a few rogues that day and got enough information out of them to hunt down the rest of the rogues who attacked your neighborhood.” I replied, trying to keep my rage in check.
“What happened to them?” She asked carefully.
“Werewolves have a royal family, they oversee the very few laws that we have but, mostly, they help to keep the peace. A division created by the royal family, the Archers, are called in when a pack has a rogue problem. They take care of integrations and deal out punishments if the pack so chooses. Once I was sure I had all of the rogues involved in that attack, I sent them all to the Archers except for the one responsible for killing your parents.” I explained, carefully watching her expression.
Her eyes fluttered like she was trying hard to remain calm and she pressed her lips together firmly.
“What did you do with him?” She asked through clenched teeth.
“At first, I wanted to kill him, but then, I decided he deserved a punishment at least as harsh as the one you and I have been dealing with.” I leaned forward in my seat in an attempt to get closer to my mate, “Because of him you have to spend the rest of your life without your parents and, I thought, I was going to have to spend the rest of my life without you. So, I’m forcing him to spend the rest of his life in agony.”
“What does that mean?” Clementine asked after a moment of silence. Her voice was quiet and raspy, like she was struggling to speak.
“The Archers have access to witches. They helped me force the rogue to shift back into human form. I have him chained up with silver and inject him daily with wolfsbane, which keeps him from communicating with his wolf. We have a small prison on the packgrounds where he’s held.”
“Witches?” She squeaked.
“Everything’s real, Clementine.” I said and she nodded slowly.
“Silver and wolfsbane?”
“Both weaken werewolves. Too much and it can permanently disable our wolf or even kill us.” I explained.
“This is a lot.” She mumbled, covering her face with her hands.
I had enough and couldn’t stand it anymore. I drug my chair around the table so I was sitting next to her and grabbed her hand. I was surprised when she let me, lifting her head to match my gaze.
“I know it is and I’m so sorry to have to dump all of this on you all at once.” I said in a soft tone.
“What happens now?” She asked.
“Whatever you want to happen. I’ll do anything for you, my sweet mate.” I leaned in close to her so I could inhale her scent and offered her a warm smile.
“Is it normal for werewolves to talk like that?” She said, blushing.
“Absolutely.” I chuckled.
“I’m not sure what to think, if I’m being honest. I feel some of the things you’re talking about, I mean, you know that. I’ve said it before, I’m not usually this open with strangers. So, yes, I do feel some sort of connection, I just don’t really understand it and I’m not sure I can go all in on the whole matebond thing, yet.” She sighed, watching as I played with her fingers in my hand.
“I don’t expect you to.” I replied,
“If I weren’t a human, what would this be like?” She asked and I shook my head,
“That doesn’t matter.”
“I just want to know, Lukas.” She said my name and I melted. I knew right then and there that I would give her absolutely freaking anything, all she had to do was say my name.
“Werewolves don’t have patience. Usually they accept each other, mate, and mark each other by the end of the day.” I confessed.
“Oh God, I don’t think I want to know what that means.” She muttered, her face scrunching up like she was in pain.
“We can dive into all that later. I mean it, Clem, I don’t care about anyone else. I want to do this at our own pace, whatever you need. The only thing I need from you is a chance.” I ducked my head so she couldn’t look away.
“I believe you.” Her voice was barely audible, “And I’m not going to say that I haven’t had a good time with you these last few weeks.” She confessed and my heart fluttered in anticipation.
“Then, there’s only one thing left to do. Let me take you out on a proper date.” I grinned.
“A date?”
“That’s what I said.”
“Do werewolves even date?” She scoffed and I threw my head back, laughing.
“Yes, sweets, we date.”
“I guess after carting me around for a month you’ve earned a date.” She sighed but I saw the smiling teasing her lips as she bit down on the bottom one.
“Darling, you keep that up and Bastian is going to get harder and harder to control.” I purred, pulling her hand to my lips.
“You’re not going to start blaming all your manwhore comments on your wolf now, are you?” She playfully pulled her hand away and I gasped dramatically.
“How dare you?” I pretended to fan myself.
“Can you take me to see Mateo now? I still have a few words for him.” She said, changing the subject.
“Oh, I’ve been wanting to see this since I woke up.” I laughed, jumping up and pulling her from the seat.
“Wait,” She put her hand on my chest causing me to freeze, “He made a comment about my gun not doing anything to him. That’s because I need silver bullets, right?” Her face was totally serious.