We Are NOT Alone

This story fits with Chapter 3 and helps explain a problem Peter first discovered in 7th grade when he went to sleep over camp for the first time. He experienced an embarrassing situation that could have ruined him for life. Instead, thanks to a couple of camp counselors who was wise enough to find just the right things to say, he ended up feeling just fine about himself and the changes associated with puberty.

While he found out later it was not even close to the case, at the time he believed he was the first and only one in the camp’s history to pitch a tent in his tent at the barely pubescent age of twelve and a half.

His tent mate, Mitchell, burst out of the tent screaming, “Peter’s got a boner! I’m not sharing a tent with a homo.”

With permission of the Camp Director, two of the college-aged male counselors took Peter on a little nature hike later that day.

Peter remembered the experience fondly for it was the first time anyone ever had a frank and candid conversation with him about the changes occurring in his body at the time due to puberty that he actually understood.

“So, Pete, what’s the story this morning? You had something happen to you in your tent.”

“Uh, yes, Mr. Labrador.”

“Pete, you can call me Lyle,” one of the counselors said to him. He was the taller of the two and had always seemed very kind.

“Lyle? Ok!”

“Were you by any chance having some kind of sexy dreams?”

Peter considered his answer carefully. “Yes.”

“Well, Pete, that’s completely normal. There’s nothing wrong with you at all. This kind of thing starts to happen to boys when they go through puberty. You know, the changes of a boy into a man?”

“I would use the term ‘adult’ instead of ‘man’,” Alejandro interrupted having remained mostly silent thus far as his role was to mostly be an observer and protector to ensure the safety of both parties. Jandro, as his friends called him, was also studying to earn his undergraduate degree in psychology specializing in child psychology.

“Really. Nobody told me much about it.” Peter said. “In school, during the special ‘sex’ talk, they used really big words. They made pew-ber-ty sound like a disease that changed your voice and caused random hair to grow.”

Lyle and Jandro laughed slyly under their breath at Peter’s explanation thinking back on their own similar school ‘the big sex talk’ experiences.

“Got it. Yes, I think we both received that same talk,” Lyle confided to Peter. “So, let me explain some things.” He guided Peter over to sit on a log, and he took the other end while Jandro stood a few paces away. “So, your penis, you know, your thing?”

“Yeah, Lyle, that’s the one technical word, I think I knew. My parents always call it that. They never call it a dick or bird or something like the guys at school call it.”

“Ok, well, when you get to a certain stage in puberty, you may start to have sexy dreams. Maybe you are dreaming about someone really cute or some movie star you have a crush on. And then, well, blood will start to flood into your penis, creating what most guys call a boner or a hard-on. Technically, it’s called an erection.”

“Also, Peter, these can happen during the daytime or anytime for that matter,” Jandro added.

“Um, guys, how can you make this go away?”

“The dreams or the erections?” Lyle asked.

“Both, I guess.”

“Well, you can’t.” Jandro said

“You mean…”.

“Yes, you’re stuck with this for life. Although, based on my own experience, you can learn to control your waking ones better as you get older by thinking about something else, your dreaming ones, maybe never,” Lyle stated from experience.

Peter sat there very patiently taking in this information. Suddenly he asked. “But, what about Mitch? He said I’m a homo.”

“Somebody else will talk with Mitchell today. Don’t worry. And just because your tent mate is a boy, and you got an erection in your dream, doesn’t mean you are gay at all. The two things are not connected. Gay and straight guys all get erections in their dreams,” Lyle reassured him.

“Really?”

“Sure, why not? What? Were you worried maybe you are gay, Pete?”

“No! No way, I’m gay!”

“Well, that’s your private business, Pete, but Jandro and I would accept you either way. You know I’m gay by the way.”

“Really?”

“Yes, sure,” Lyle said.

“I didn’t know that you were gay. You don’t seem gay,” Peter said with some hint of astonishment.

“Pete, people turn out how they turn out. I am who I am, you are who you are. Jandro is who he is. Mitch is who he is. You don’t seem to be gay or straight. You just are, or maybe you are somewhere on the path between the two. Like I have a friend in college who’s into both guys and girls. She’s a cool girl.”

“Are you into her?” Peter asked genuinely curious.

“No. I’m not. She’s an awesome friend, but I never have any sexual feelings toward her or any girls for that matter. One of her boyfriends, however, I wanted her to share him with me very much.”

“Yikes. TMI, Lyle! I’m only in seventh grade,” Peter said.

“True that, Pete! Lyle, didn’t mean to get off track and start sharing so much of his personal information. He was just trying to let you know that we would accept you however you turn out, and we hope you will accept yourself as well.” Jandro tried to get Lyle out of the jam.

“No way! My parents have told me over and over that, I am not gay. They sent me to this camp to help me grow up, but maybe not to talk about gay stuff.”

“Well, Pete, we can keep this conversation betwee. us, deal?”

“Deal,” Peter had a sudden urge to hug Lyle and Jandro, not because he had any feelings toward them, but because he was grateful that they had the courage and care to explain things, make him feel better; and, also, accept him for however he turned out.

At the time, he was pretty sure he was not gay, but he learned later when he met Josh and thought about Lyle Labrador and Jandro again, that there are all different kinds of straight and gay people. While there are some possible clues to a person’s orientation when they are young, most are based on stereotypes that may or may not turn out to be true predictors.

He was a clear example of this as no one had ever predicted he was gay at all as far as he knew, apart from Josh who seemed somehow to be able to see into his soul and know all of his secrets.