Too Hard: Hayes Brothers Book 5

“MORNING.” Mia’s normally sweet, melodic voice slices through my aching head like a chainsaw. “Did he sleep here all night?”

I cautiously peek under heavy eyelids, squinting against the blinding sunlight streaming through the window. Did someone take a baseball bat to my skull last night?

The room spins wildly, and I clamp my eyes shut, inhaling a steady breath.

“Yes,” Ana says in a low, soft tone. “He came back around three this morning, grabbed this…” She tugs something I’m resting my cheek against, “…and fell asleep before I had a chance to cover him with a blanket.”

“Fuck,” I hiss, my throat dry, tongue like sandpaper. I try to speak, but can only manage a raspy whisper. “Bug… lower, please.” I peek again, finding Mia leaning over me, her face blurry and distorted.

“I’ve got the hangover remedy for you.”

“No, Bug…” My head pounds so hard I can barely think straight. This is the worst hangover ever… I should’ve retched into the bushes like I did at the graduation party. “Lower.”

“I think he means your voice,” Ana chuckles, quickly slapping a hand over her mouth. “Sorry.”

I snap myself upright as if I’m ripping a band-aid. “Oh, fuck. Bad idea. Very, very bad idea,” I mutter, steadying myself as the room spins. God, it feels like I’ve been hit by a fucking truck. “The wedding… did I miss it?”

“It’s barely seven in the morning, plenty of time,” Mia whispers. “Here, drink this.” She hands me a glass and two pills. “Electrolytes and painkillers.”

I swallow them down without a question, cool water soothing my parched throat.

“How did you know he’s not well?” Ana asks, watching me empty the glass in one.

“Colt texted me last night.” She air-quotes for impact. “3C drunk. SOS am.” She swaps my empty glass for a full one.

“Have I told you how much I love you?” I rasp, then almost double over and hurl when the smell of her sister’s signature hangover remedy hits. My stomach twists like a washing machine on full spin. This is fucking brutal. “I hate this,” I tell them, but pinch my nose, chugging until there’s nothing left.

This isn’t my first rodeo. Mia’s nursed me back to health more times than I care to admit, and this magical, disgusting, ginger, lemon, and something-or-other drink is a godsend. Combined with electrolytes, a hot shower, and a big healthy breakfast, I’ll be back on my feet, fresh as a daisy in no time.

“You always love me when you’re hungover.” Mia beams, setting both empty glasses aside. There are four more waiting on a small tray. One pair for Conor, one pair for Colt. “I better go save the other two. Meet me downstairs in twenty minutes.” She grabs the tray, backing away, but pauses by the door. “You might want to prepare for questions from your older brothers. They’re annoyed the three of you got drunk last night without them.”

With a deep groan, I fall back expecting the loveseat to cushion me. It doesn’t because I’m not on the loveseat, and now my head really feels like it split open.

Sitting back up, I look around, realizing I’m on the floor, crammed between the foot of the bed and the loveseat. It turns out I used Blair’s yellow dress as a pillow, crumpled up and reeking of alcohol and cigarette smoke. My heart sinks, unpleasant memories filtering through my foggy brain.

Pushing them away, I focus on what I can fix.

“I’m sorry,” I tell Ana, feeling genuinely bad.

Not only have I invited her here as my last resort, but I also neglected her the entire evening, then woke her up in the middle of the night, barging in almost black-out drunk.

It doesn’t look like I’ll be in any better shape throughout the wedding, so sorry is the very least she deserves.

Dressed in her cozy flannel pj’s, her pretty face eyes me with a concerned look. “I know you probably don’t believe me after everything, but I really am over you, Cody. I didn’t come here expecting anything could happen. I came because you sounded really broken. You’re a great guy, you know? I hope one day we can be real friends. I guess…” She inhales deeply, her eyes full of sincerity. “What I’m saying is that if you need to talk, I’m here. I’ll listen.”

“We won’t be real friends, Ana. We already are. You know why I called you of all people?” The pounding in my head slowly lessens, the pain not as invasive now.

She chews her lip before replying, “Because I’m the only person who’d drop everything and come over?”

I laugh at that. She’s a great girl, fun and caring. Just a little lost. The fact we saw each other naked, that we had a sexual relationship for a few weeks doesn’t matter. It was fun, but from my side, there were no feelings involved. Us shifting into the friend category isn’t all that hard. I don’t think Ana had real feelings for me, either. She just needed a friend.

Maybe I would’ve had a harder time admitting I want to stay in touch with Ana if Blair showed any signs of jealousy.

She didn’t. She sat beside me when Ana explained why she acted like a lunatic. The only emotion I picked up from Blair that day was sympathy. She probably could relate given her past, the mistakes, blame, and regret.

“I called you because you may have done some crazy things, but you had the guts to apologize. We all lose our way sometimes, Ana. It takes a great deal of courage and character to admit it.” The headache ebbs away further as I carefully gather myself up to sit beside her. “I’ll tell you the same thing I told Blair.” Draping my arm across her shoulders, I pull her into me. “Forget what you did but remember what you learned.”

She nuzzles her cheek into my shoulder, her words thick with emotion. “Can I give you a piece of advice, too?”

“Sure. Go for it.”

“If Blair comes to talk, don’t send her away. Listen, okay? She must’ve had a reason to leave you at that airport, Cody. If she comes to explain, don’t dismiss her, because you’ll regret it for the rest of your life.”

I can sense the pain as she speaks, and I intuitively pull her in closer. She’s speaking from experience, the regret of not listening to her brother when he needed her most still evident.

“She won’t come,” I say on a heavy sigh. “I’ll find her first.”

“Good for you.” Scrunching her nose, she moves away from me. “You need to take a shower. Seriously, you stink.”

“Yeah. You know it’s bad when you can smell yourself,” I chuckle, dragging my jelly feet into the en suite bathroom.

***

Showered and dressed for the morning mayhem, I join my family in the restaurant downstairs with Ana. The scent of bacon wafts in the air, making my stomach grumble. Everyone, except the bride and groom, are there, enjoying breakfast and coffee.

Coffee.

The aroma hits me as I sit by the table most of my brothers are occupying and reach across to snag Mia’s cup.

She’s faster, snatching the tall cup away with a stern look before my fingers come anywhere near it. “Breakfast first,” she chides.

“So bossy this morning, baby,” Nico smirks, planting a kiss on her head before lasering in on me. “Why weren’t the four of us invited to drink with you last night?”

Theo and Shawn are at the other end of the room, chatting with our parents. So, I lean forward, lowering my voice. “I didn’t want anything to disrupt the wedding, but I can’t keep shit from Colt or Conor no matter what it is. I’ll tell you everything tomorrow, okay?”

Nico narrows his dark eyes. I can tell he’s plotting how to get the story out of me sooner. Thankfully, with the wedding starting in three hours, and the groomsmen tasks we both have to complete before, he has no fucking chance.

With a tight nod, he leans back, wrapping his arm around Mia’s shoulder and pulling her in for a kiss, as if it’s the only thing that can calm him down right now.

Which, honestly, it probably is.

“I want the recipe for that ginger thingy,” Vivienne tells Mia. “It’s disgusting, but it sure works. Conor was ready to party half an hour after you left.”

“Disgusting?” Colt protests. “It’s delicious.”

The waiter brings my breakfast, and I abruptly turn to ask him for a cup of coffee as he struts away. Pain shooting down my side reminds me what I saw in the en suite mirror. “Anyone know why my ribs and back are bruised?” I ask.

“You fell down the stairs,” Conor answers, stuffing his face with a big bite of avocado toast.

“Yeah…” I bob my head up and down like a bobblehead on a dashboard at a rally race. “I don’t remember that.”

Shortly after breakfast the photographer arrives, his camera equipment strapped to his back like a backpacker’s survival kit, and I head upstairs to change into my tux, before joining the wedding party downstairs.

Beneath the same canopy of live flowers we got shitfaced under last night, the photographer starts clicking away, directing us into different poses. Whenever the camera isn’t pointing at me, my eyes follow the bride and groom. They’ve been together over two years, but still look as in love as the first time Logan introduced us to her.

The photo session takes an hour, and once we’re dismissed, I go inside to grab a glass of water. The temperature outside is scorching, and the staff are setting up big fans that will hopefully cool the guests down during the ceremony.

Ana sits at the restaurant bar in her summer dress, looking a little pale. She’s not in the wedding party, so she didn’t pose for the pictures, hiding away in the airconditioned building. Lucky her. I feel like I’ve sweated my balls off out there and a change of tux would be good.

I pull my phone out like I’ve done every chance I get since I woke up, but no messages from Blair wait on the screen.

With a peculiar, indecipherable look, Ana touches my arm as soon as I stop by the bar. “Could you do me a favor?”

“Sure, what is it?”

“I’m a little lightheaded. Could you grab my purse from our room? My pills are in it.”

The bartender stops beside us, so I order two glasses of water, simultaneously pressing my hand to Ana’s forehead.

“I’m not burning up,” she says with a smile. “It’s a side effect of my antidepressants.”

“Okay, I’ll grab your purse. Drink your water, and…” The bartender hands over two glasses and I say, “Keep an eye on her for me, alright? She’s not feeling well.”

“Sure thing, sir.”

I climb the stairs, phone in hand, as I send yet another text to Blair while I have a moment. I’ve already sent her a dozen similar messages since I woke up, but one more won’t hurt.

Me: I hate you, baby girl.

I ignore the breakup napkin stashed in my inside pocket as I fish out the key card, pushing the door open as soon as the lock clicks. It closes softly behind me and I stop.

Moving, breathing, fucking thinking.

Sounds familiar? Good, because the girl standing in the middle of the room looks familiar, too.

Her skin has a ghastly ashen tint, dark shadows under her beautiful eyes rimmed pink from crying. Her hair is a mess, tangling down around her face, and her shoulders are hunched forward as if she’s shielding herself from harm. She looks up at me, pinching the fabric of the hoodie she’s wearing.

My hoodie.

My heart somersaults back in time with my stomach, and a wave of relief knocks out my breath. Jesus… she’s here. Tears well in her eyes. Some spill while I stand frozen in place. Her usually bright, lively aura seems dimmed, replaced by an air of sadness and defeat.

How did she get here?

When?

Who let her in here?

Ana. It had to be.

The silence between us is suffocating, the tension palpable.

“I hate you more,” she half whispers, half wails. “So much more, Cody. I’m sorry.”

That’s when I start moving. The key card slips from my grasp. I’m three steps away, already charging at her, the emotional turmoil I’ve been wrestling since she left me at the airport evaporates in an instant.

She’s here. She came back.

Whatever pushed her away didn’t win the battle.

I crash into her, gripping her by the waist and hauling her into my arms. Our lips meet in a frenzy, hers salty from tears, mine urgent, determined, demanding. The mere sensation of her this close again is enough to make me feel I might burst at any moment. She parts her lips, opening up to me and I delve deeper as her fingers lace through my hair, tugging me closer.

“I’m so sorry,” she whispers every time we come up for air, her voice shaking. “I hate you so much.”

“Shh, it’s okay, B. It’s okay. You’re here now. Just… give me a minute.” With that, I take her mouth again with the same desperation that’s consumed me for the last twenty hours.

“What happened? How did you get here?” I ask, scanning her face for clues, as I set her on the bed.

“It’s a long story,” she murmurs softly, cradling my face in her hands as I shift her higher onto the bed, my knees sinking into the mattress. “We don’t have time for that right now. I promise to tell you everything tomorrow, or even tonight if you’re not too exhausted after the wedding.”

I kiss her again, savoring the taste of her lips as my hands explore her body. My fingers skim her legs, caress her waist, cup her breasts, and trail down to her hips. I’m fucking drunk on having her back in my arms. Every inch of her missed me as much as I missed every inch of her. It’s clear in how she reacts, arching into my touch.

“Cody, we’re wrinkling your tux,” she mutters, gently pushing me away. “We’ll talk later, okay?”

Talking isn’t exactly what I have in mind, but she’s right, we don’t have time.

“Tell me you love me,” I whisper, closing my teeth on her bottom lip and pulling until a soft moan escapes her.

“I hate you.”

I shake my head, looking down into her deep blue eyes. “No, baby. Tell me you love me. Tell me you’ll never leave me. Convince me I’m all you want, and maybe… maybe I’ll agree to wait for your story.”

More tears brim in her eyes, threatening to spill, but she swats them away, then gently cradles my face. “I gave up everything for a chance to get you back. You showed me I’m worth more than I thought possible. You showed me I deserve love and happiness. For those things alone, I will always love you, Cody.” She lifts her head, catching my lips with hers, the kiss slow, soothing, delicate. “But there is so much more there. Things I can’t name, and probably won’t ever be able to.”

She pauses, wiping her eyes again before inhaling a deep, sharp breath, and when she speaks again, her soft voice is full of conviction. “I love you. I hate you. I feel everything for you. I feel alive, happy. I’m yours as long as you want me. I won’t leave.”

It’s that one line, ‘I feel everything for you,’ that shatters all the doubts I’ve had since I read that damn napkin.

I love that line because it’s real.

It’s not a fairy tale, not a happy-for-now situation. No, this is more. It’s everything. She’s mine, she’ll be mine through the good and the bad because life isn’t just the good moments.

Relationships aren’t just the good moments.

There are ups, downs, twists, turns, and so many different emotions that make a relationship worth fighting for. So that one line injects a new sense of hope into my veins.

“I love you more,” I tell her before crashing my lips to hers again, the kiss dominating and soothing the way she loves most.

She gave me a sneak peek into her past with her schizophrenic mother, and I did a bit of research into the illness, but I’m pretty fucking sure she’ll knock me off my damn feet with whatever else she’s hiding.

It doesn’t take a genius to realize she went through hell to come back. She looks like fucking hell right now, but as much as I want to hear every single detail, we have a wedding to attend.

No matter what she says, what other demons from her past she’s hiding, she’s mine. Always mine. I can wait for an explanation a little longer and be there for my brother.

Pulling her up with me, I comb her hair over her ears. “You need to get dressed, baby girl. The ceremony starts in less than two hours. We don’t have much time.”

She immediately shakes her head. “It would’ve been okay to show up with me yesterday during the rehearsal dinner, considering Logan had no issue with Conor borrowing the spotlight to propose, but today is all about them. We both know that me walking in on your arm will cause a rift, Cody.”

Brushing her thumbs under my eyes, she stamps a sweet, affectionate kiss on my forehead. “I haven’t slept since we woke up together yesterday. I got in the car at three in the morning and drove here because I couldn’t wait to apologize. Now you know, now that you’re willing to wait for a proper explanation… I’m exhausted. I wouldn’t last ten minutes outside.”

She drops her hands to grip the lapels, pulling me closer. “You have Ana—”

“Baby, the only reason Ana is here—”

“It’s okay,” she interrupts quickly, her fingers playing with the buttons on my shirt. “I’m not jealous. Who do you think helped me sneak in here unnoticed?” She cups my face again. “Enjoy the wedding. Have fun, okay? I’ll take a nap. We can talk when you’re done downstairs or maybe tomorrow.”

“I don’t want you locked in here all day. You don’t know my family that well, but believe me, they’d understand if I brought you to the ceremony. Logan and Cass would never consider it as me trying to steal the spotlight.”

She smiles gently, her hand resting on my chest. “I’m sure you’re right. I’ve heard so many stories about your family that I believe you when you say they’re supportive, caring, and loving. But it’s time to return the favor, Cody.”

Here I was thinking I couldn’t love this girl any more, and she says this and proves me wrong. Who would have thought Blair Fitzpatrick could be so considerate?

I had this girl figured out all wrong.

When she inches away, falling back on the pillow, I move with her. I want to hold her, kiss her, rip her clothes off and drive myself home inside her to remind her who she belongs to, but she needs rest, and I need to be downstairs.

“Go down there and enjoy it,” Blair says softly, her hand running through my hair. “I’m not going anywhere. I promise we’ll talk. I promise I’ll be here when you’re too tired to dance, and I promise I’m not jealous of Ana. If anything, I owe her.”

We both do.

Pulling the sheets aside, I tap the mattress, urging Blair to get under the covers. “I’ll wait until you fall asleep.” I curl her into me, her back to my chest, my lips on her head.

It doesn’t take long. While I battle inside my head, wondering which question I should ask first, she falls asleep before I can voice any. Tucking her in, I kiss her head, and leave the room, hoping I can clear my mind enough to enjoy my brother’s wedding.