Chapter 17. POV PT. 2
"You know where you are." Addal stands there, her curly hair nearly covering the sharp eyes judging me from nearby. She's even more beautiful in her pure white shirt and skirt that goes well with her dark skin.
She walks closer, stepping over Raven's unconscious body, and passing by Judith with a crazed look in his eyes. He holds a silver knife covered in Raven's blood in hand, I look away from the scene as his easy smile makes the scene even more disturbing.
"Don't look away," Addal says softly.
I still don't look. A cool palm touches my face and guides my face to Addal's. We're so close to each other, a kiss away, but she pulls away and turns around. Her eyes on the crime scene and sitting beyond is a blond wolf.
"That's..." I begin to say but the words stop and bottle-up in my chest.
"Your wolf," Addal finishes for me.
My wolf. I haven't seen her since this accident. Why did she abandon me? Was I not enough?
"She never left. It's you, who changed." Addal is suddenly standing by my wolf on the other side of the crime scene, but her voice sounds so close.
"Why?"
"You have to see for yourself," She replies.
"I can't." I turn away.
"Don't look away," She says again.
I look back and the scene plays.
"Why are you doing this," I cry.
"Don't worry, baby. Everything is alright, I promise nothing will get in our way." Judith's lips still hold a smile but tears spill from his eyes in pain.
The scene pauses and my heart turns cold from the scene. I don't remember him crying.
"People at their lowest almost always miss certain details." Addal says, "What does he mean by nothing will get in our way?"
I hug myself at the thought of his words. "It's probably my relationship with Raven. Judith and I were once in a relationship but after bringing him to a supernatural party, he changed."
"What do you mean," she asks.
"My friends and I crashed a vampire party with Judith. He wanted to know about our world, so we took him along. Between the drinks, games, and dancing— we lost focus on him. In retrospect, we were so stupid to bring a human that wasn't our mate into our dangerous world. It was halfway through we found him missing, so we all split up to find him."
"Did you find him?"
"No, I was going to give up when the back door to the house opened up. The one person, who didn't help us find Judith, Raven."
"Why didn't she help too?"
"Raven was too drunk, being dumped by her girlfriend because of her commitment issues at the time, she wanted to forget her ex."
"What happened next?"
"She kissed me," My voice lowers but I can feel my lips form a small smile.
"Did you stop her?"
"Not fast enough, I was in a daze. It took me a minute to realize what happened and I already kissed back. It was after becoming aware of everything did I push her away, I felt guilty."
"But it was Raven, who initiated the kiss. And you ended it." Addal walks a little closer, while my wolf follows her.
"Still, it didn't make me feel any less guilty for kissing back. I had a boyfriend during the time."
"Is it possible that he saw Raven and you kiss. That's why he is like this?"
"I don't know, but he wouldn't have reacted like this if he did."
"Why not?"
"We met at an orphanage at the age seven years old. We were childhood friends. He came from an abusive home like me. Only his home was not broken because of a drug addict mother, but a drunken father. I always remember what he told me what his father said to him when the man was dragged away by the police. I'm so glad to get away from such a disappointment."
"Let me guess, Judith was a shy introvert?"
"No, he was very social but sometimes he tried too hard and ended up hurting himself. After the party, he distanced himself from everybody and became paranoid every second. I couldn't take it when he tried to manipulate me too, so I broke up with him. He didn't take it well."
"And this happened because of the break up?" She points at the crime scene.
"Yes. Raven had asked me out and I agreed, but I didn't know at the time, Judith was stalking me."
The scene continues to play.
"I've been watching you since you broke up with me. I knew it had to be that bitch pulling the string. She's always been jealous of us...." Judith runs on and on until his words become incoherent.
Soon, the door burst open.
"What's going on here?" The Alpha and Luna come out.
Judith escaped to the forest and the rest is history. The scene pauses.
"What were you thinking during that whole scene." Her eyes never left me who kept holding onto Raven's head on my lap, putting pressure on her wound.
"Looking at Raven, who was injured because of me. I thought to myself, I don't want to be me anymore."
"Why?" Addal asks softly.
"Why? Because I'm worthless, my parents didn't even want me. I'm useless, I can't save anyone but myself." My wolf comes close to me and licks my tears away. "But I'm learning to accept myself."
"Don't you think that was the problem?" Addal asks.
"What?"
"Your wolf isn't a decoration. She's you and you are her. Rejecting yourself means rejecting her too."
Addal leads my wolf in front of me. My wolf turns into a spitting image of me. She asks, "Do you still want me?"
I reply, "Of course, because you're me."
I hug her, then everything goes dark.