Chapter 19
Amelia
I never thought that I would be back in this house ever since I ascended and I hate that I am. It brings back so many painful memories that I wish would remain buried.
It hasn't changed much in the seven years I have been gone, still the same walls, the same decor, the same paint color.
I honestly thought that Bianca would have changed a few things by now since she loves decorating.
Every wall, every piece of furniture brings to the surface a painful memory, so strong that it almost makes me forget that I am no longer the weakling I used to be.
"Heaven's I hate this pack" I hear Onyx say and I can't help but silently agree with her.
Even though I wasn't able to shift before when life was shitty doesn't mean that Onyx didn't experience everything that I went through.
She was there as a silent observer so given what the pack put me through she hated them too.
I didn't talk to anyone, just went directly to the room that used to be mine with Tristan still in my hands talking my ears off.
I hadn't even gotten the chance to talk with Sophie nor see Freya but I knew I would see them the next day cause as it turns out I have to stay in this god forsaken pack for who knows how long.
The room looked the same, nothing had changed. This is where most of my painful memories were.
I try desperately to shut off the images of writhing in pain with no one to help while Xavier fucked my sister but it is a losing battle.
They still haunt me and being in the same space that it took place makes it all the more hard to push them down.
It was better in my castle because I didn't have anything around me that reminded me of my past but here, everything is a constant reminder.
I don't want to remember, I don't want to see the things that remind me of how miserable and sad I used to be, so I put Tristan down, close my eyes and imagine what I want the room to look like, when I've got the image clearly in my mind I hold it there, open my eyes and with a flick of my hand transform my room.
"That is so fucking cool mommy! do it again" Tristan's excited voice brings my focus back to him.
"Tristan Clyde Verlice!" I call his full name for some reason.
My hands were on my waist and I was livid at him cursing at such a young age.
"Uh-Oh...I'm in trouble" he says in a whisper as if he is telling someone a secret he doesn't want me to hear.
"You sure are" I tell him, trying to keep a straight face while he looks at me in a cute confused way.
"But why?"
"You used a bad word, where the he-heaven did you even learn that?" I catch myself just in time.
"It's not a bad word, daddy uses it all the time...especially when he is angry or fustrated" looks like Xavier and I would be having words
"You mean frustrated?" I ask him just to be clear.
"Yeah, that's what I said...fustrated" he repeats but I can tell that his mind isn't even in our conversation.
He is too busy surveying the room to even notice that I have corrected.
I have changed everything in the room, the color, the furniture, the sheets...every single thing. It now looks almost similar to my room back in my castle. A room fit for a goddess.
He climbs on the bed and starts bouncing on it which just makes me smile.
I had missed him so much and even though this isn't exactly the place I want to be, I would never feel bad about getting to spend time with him. I excuse myself to go and take a shower to which he just nods distractedly.
I strip and enter the shower and just let my head fall against the wall while the hot water falls down my back.
How was I going to manage being here, with everyone that hates me? Watching Xavier and Bianca together?
I no longer love him, he managed to kill that love seven years ago but that doesn't mean that it still doesn't hurt.
Maybe it's my pride that is mostly wounded, I don't know. Can you imagine it? A goddess that was rejected and shunned by her mate? Or should I say ex mate.
It is kind of embarrassing if you ask me. As for the bond, it is no longer there. When I partially died, and ascended, the bond died with my human form and I can't even imagine how happy Xavier and my sister were once they realized they had gotten rid of me for good. I hate to think that, but I know they probably threw a feast once Bianca was healed enough to celebrate. But life has its twists and turns
How ironic is it that the same woman they hated is the same one that saved their miserable lives albeit involuntary. If it wasn't for Tristan, I would even have known what was happening.
I had seen the vision, I was also there and I had observed and I knew for sure that if I hadn't arrived then they would have been wiped clean.
I am not looking for a pat on the shoulder I am just thinking that fates have a way of humbling people.
Even the mighty Shadow moon pack and its Alpha who had looked down on a young innocent girl and had caused her nothing but pain.Many paragraphs are missing. Read the complete book on Jo=b n-l b. c (o) m. After allowing the water to relax my muscles, I finish my shower then conjure a bathrobe which I wear and get out of the bathroom only to find Tristan asleep on the bed.
I know he is tired and worn out, probably everyone is especially those that were out all night fighting. I go and sit next to his sleeping form and just watch him, admiring him, feeling lucky to have him as my son.
I push back his jet black hair just like his father's and give him a kiss. I join him and pull the covers over us, cuddling him close to me.
I was drained but no matter what I did I just couldn't find a comfortable position to sleep.
I looked at Tristan who was now slightly snoring. I finally give up, and get out of bed. I tuck in the covers around him, enchant the room with protection runes then teleport to where I knew I needed to be even if it was just for some time.
"I wondered how long it would take for you to seek my company" I am greeted with Nolan's smiling face and naked body.
He was a beautiful specimen of a man although I know he wouldn't appreciate me saying that about him.
"Looks like you were expecting me" I simply tell him.
"Of course, you are usually drained and tired after such an encounter, so I knew you would need to feed" he was right.
"I can't say I am complaining, I like what I am seeing and I like it a lot" I reply
I was the dark goddess and just like Selene fed on the prayer and worship of her children, I fed off darkness and chaos but because I personally didn't like those two options, I created another option for myself, one that doesn't go against my morals and has been working pretty well.
I chose to feed off sexual energy and that's where Nolan comes in.
Like I had mentioned, I liked him and I was attracted to him and since I always need to replenish my energy, instead of just hooking up with different men every single time, Nolan offered to be my bed partner and since I trusted him I agreed.
I untie my rob and walk seductively towards his bed, once there I get on all fours and move up his body slowly leaving small kisses in my wake till I reach his mouth.
When I placed my lips on his, he flipped us around so that he was the one on top, devouring my mouth like a starved man.
He moves down to my neck where he sucks on my sweet spot making me moan his name, before he proceeds down to my breasts.
He sucks one of the nipples into his mouth while his thumb teases my other nipple, making both of them even more erect.
After some time he switches and then he is moving down to where I need him most.
I don't remember sex with Xavier or should I say with Ace. It was all a blur, one minute I was crying after hearing Xavier say he doesn't want me, then next I was bent over a table with him thrusting in and out of me and then next Xavier was blaming me and accusing me of seducing his wolf. Let's just say I didn't have the best first time sex experience.
Nolan's swipe of the tongue brings me back to the present, making me arch my back in ecstasy.
"More" I tell him to which he releases a grunt. He alternates between his tongue and fingers and within no time I am riding out my orgasm.
I come down just as he moves up my body and stares at me just as he enters me, first teasing me with his tip before he finally buries himself balls deep inside me.
"Fast and hard or slow and sweet?" he asks, jaws clenched and I know it is taking everything in him to hold still and not thrust.
"How about fast and hard?" I smile at him and that's all the encouragement he needs to set my body on fire.
Soon the room is filled with my moan and his groan. After we both have our release he withdraws and then flips me on all fours before entering me again.
With every thrust and every kiss I can feel my energy being replenished, and this is why I like this method of feeding. I get to feed while at the same time experiencing pleasure.
It honestly doesn't hurt the person I am feeding off on, in fact it actually increases their own pleasure.
I scream as another orgasm racks my body and then I fall in a heap, both Onyx and I fully satiated and wonderfully exhausted.
Nolan withdraws from me, and lays next to me, pulling me to him with my head on his shoulder. He kisses my forehead and I eventually fall asleep thinking how good it is that we don't even need words, we just understand each other.
I wake up feeling rejuvenated and looking at the alarm clock on the night stand, I see I've been asleep for only two hours. Nolan was still out cold so I got out of bed and put on my robe.
I had to check up on Tristan so I kissed his lips and left, teleporting a few distance from the pack house. My brain was still clouded a little so the small walk was essential in clearing the after sex cloud.
I reach the pack house and enter. By the looks of it most people were still sleeping given that it was around four o'clock and the hallways were mostly empty. I was glad for that because it meant I didn't have to face anybody yet.
I move to climb the stairs when a growl stops me. Turning around I find Xavier standing there, jaw clenched and hands fisted, his eyes flicking from yellow to grey.
He looked really pissed off, the I'll rip out your fucking throat pissed off, I hadn't been anywhere near him or Bianca so for the love of everything good I couldn't understand why he was so angry,