The Cheat Sheet: A Novel

Nathan turns the corner wearing a pair of black athletic shorts and no shirt. His chiseled, tan chest that could only belong to a professional athlete is on full display, and that Adonis V of his is winking and making everyone blush. His hair is damp and glistening, and the tops of his shoulders are slightly pink from the hot water. This is his fresh from the shower look, and no matter how many times I’ve seen it, it never ceases to make me swallow my tongue.

He has a small towel in his hand, and it’s getting rubbed all over his incredible chocolate brown hair. That lucky towel is giggling with glee. Nathan’s hair is so wavy and delectable that he has a five-million-dollar endorsement deal with a men’s luxury haircare brand because of it. After that first commercial went live—Nathan stepping out of the locker room shower with a towel wrapped around his waist, beads of moisture clinging to his taut muscles, and holding that bottle of shampoo—women everywhere flocked to the store to grab the same brand in hopes of it magically turning their man into Nathan. At the very least, they wanted their man to smell like Nathan. But here’s another secret that only I know—Nathan’s hair doesn’t smell like that shampoo because he prefers a cheap generic brand in a green bottle that he’s been using since he was eighteen.

“Thought you might need this,” I say, handing Nathan a steaming cup of coffee from our favorite little shop a few blocks away. I open the donut box like a treasure chest. The donuts shine in the light. Bing!

Nathan groans and cocks his head to the side, a soft smile in the corner of his mouth as he tosses the towel onto the countertop. “I thought it was my day to get the coffee and donuts.” He plucks a maple glazed out of the box and leans down to give me a quick peck on the cheek like he always does. Completely platonic. Brotherly.

“Yeah, but I woke up super early this morning with a charley horse in my calf and couldn’t get back to sleep, so I went ahead and got it.” I hope he buys my fib.

Truth is, I couldn’t sleep because I broke up with my boyfriend last night and I’m dreading telling Nathan. Why? Because I know he’ll prod me with questions until he finds out the truth behind the breakup. And he can’t know that I broke up with Martin because Martin isn’t Nathan.

Maybe if I’d squinted, plugged my ears, and wobbled my head side to side, I might have been able to trick myself into thinking it was him. But who wants to live like that? It’s not fair to me or Martin. So now, the goal is to find a man who attracts me more than Nathan does. A real bug-zapper of a man is what I’m looking for. This time I won’t settle for anything less than complete and total smittenness.

Nathan lifts one of his thick brows. “Probably should’ve eaten a banana before bed last night.”

I roll my eyes. “Yeah, yeah, but my answer is still the same: I hate bananas. They’re so squishy, and they taste like…bananas.”

“Doesn’t matter. Clearly your potassium is—”

Kelsey clears her throat, and that’s when we notice her massive scowl. “Excuse me. Is it not odd to you that she is here at 6:30 in the morning with coffee and donuts when you have your girlfriend over?”

Again with that G word. And okay, yeah, maybe I should have realized Kelsey would be over this morning, and I should have waited for Nathan to meet me with the coffee and donuts. That’s my bad. Sometimes I forget Nathan and I don’t have a particularly normal friendship.

Nathan clears his throat lightly. “Sorry, Kelsey, I just thought you remembered Tuesdays are always my running days with Bree.”

“Yup.” She rolls her eyes and pops the p sound. “How could I forget when it happens EVERY SINGLE TUESDAY. Literally your only morning off during the season.”

This feels like a private conversation I shouldn’t be here for. Actually, I kinda agree with her. It’s weird that Nathan and I are such good friends. I’ve tried to take myself out of the equation many times before so he could spend more time with his girlfriend, but he never allows it. If I were his girlfriend, though, I would be very territorial with free time.

Tuesdays in the NFL are off days for nearly every team. But here’s the secret sauce that not all players realize: The best ones still go into the training facility on their off days. They use the extra time to focus on their weaknesses, meet with physical therapists, review old game tapes—anything that will help them excel above the rest. Nathan never sits Tuesdays out, but he does go in a little later so we can have our run together in the morning.

“Can’t you take, like, this one morning off?” She is overexaggerating every single word, and I don’t know how he handles her voice.

Nathan’s brows dip, and he folds his arms. I want to slowly scoot out of the room because I know what’s going to happen next.

“Not really. I need a good run to shake off that bad game before I go train today.”

Kelsey’s mouth falls open. “Bad game? Babe, you won! What are you even talking about?”

In unison, Nathan and I both say, “Two interceptions.”

Yikes. Kelsey did not like that. Her eyes narrow down into scary little slits. “Cute. See what I mean? This is not a normal friendship. And you know what? I’m done competing with whatever this is. It’s time you”—Don’t say it, Kelsey!—“choose. It’s either me or her.”

She blinks several times, and I turn around to give Kelsey some privacy in this moment of loss. Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to mourn the insignificant, minuscule relationship that was Nathan and Kelsey.

“Kelsey…I told you up front I wasn’t looking for anything serious right now, and you said you were good with that…” Nathan pauses.

Gosh, I hate this for him, I really do. It kills him to deliver breakup lines, because he’s a giant, rock-solid teddy bear. I wish I could do it for him, but I have a feeling I’d just get a cast iron skillet to the face.

Kelsey squeals. “Are you kidding me right now?! Are you choosing her over me?”

Okay, I don’t love her inflection.

“Yes,” he says matter-of-factly.

Flames burst from the top of her head. “You cannot honestly tell me you’re not sleeping with her then!”

“He’s not, believe me,” I say. Then I worry it came out sounding a little too bitter, so I add, “Really. Just friends. We’d be horrible together. We’re more like brother and sister.” Bleh, that tasted bad on my tongue.

His chin tilts down to me, and it takes him a second, but he smiles. “Yeah. We’ve never…” His voice trails off and I see him swallow because it’s difficult for him to even picture us together in that way. “Been friends with benefits.”

Never. Not once. Nada. Nothing. Zilch. A peck on the cheek is the closest I’ve gotten to any action with Nathan, which is why I know he’s not into me. A man who is head over heels for a woman doesn’t keep his hands to himself on movie night for six years straight. And Nathan and I always keep our hands to ourselves.

So now, I work as hard as I can to prove to him that I’m SO GOOD with this friend thing. Because, honestly, I am. Would I love to marry him and have his giant muscular babies? Yes. In a heartbeat. But it’s not in the cards for us, and I’ll be damned if I ruin our friendship by making things weird when he finds out I’m crushing on him while he already has the number of the next model he plans to date halfway dialed into his phone.

The bigger problem is that I know if I told him how I really feel, he’d humor me because he truly does care about me as a friend. He’d give it the old college try, might date me for a few weeks, but then he’d move on to someone he actually felt chemistry with, and I’d be out a best friend. Not worth it.

Yeah—I’m good like this.

I’ll eventually find someone who is just as great as Nathan.

(Probably not.)

“Right. Well, then…enjoy your weird friendship. Because I’m leaving.” Kelsey pauses a minute, but I don’t hear footsteps. I think she’s waiting for him to stop her. This is awkward for everyone. “I really am. Right now. I’m walking out that door for good, Nathan.”

Noooo, don’t go! I think with zero sincerity.

And then she storms off. Nathan follows her toward the door, saying something about how she’s still in her pajamas and shouldn’t she go get her stuff first? She tells him to have it sent over because she can’t bear to look at him for another second. The drama is high.

I hear the door slam, and I kick the air. Good riddance!

I also whip out my phone and text my big sister.

Me: Another one bites the dust. Kelsey’s outta here!

Lily: She lasted longer than I expected.

Me: Aka too long.

Lily: Be nice! He might be sad.

Me: Ummm I’m always nice, thank you very much.

Lily: I bet you have a creepy smile on your face.

When Nathan finally comes back into the kitchen, I train my face into a heartfelt frown, proving Lily wrong. “I’m sorry, friend.”

“No, you’re not,” he says with a chuckle as he leans his bare hip against the counter.

I really wish he’d wear more clothes. It’s painful having to look at something so beautiful and never touch it. Nathan’s skin is like hot golden sand from an exotic beach, wrapped around a rippling form that makes you feel instantly dehydrated. His perfectly crafted physique is the reason he was named Sexiest Man Alive and made the cover of Pro Sports Magazine’s form issue where they highlight and celebrate all the different physical forms of pro athletes and what they have to do to keep their bodies in tip-top shape. It’s a classy spread with well-placed hands and thighs to cover the most important bits. But yeah, Nathan was completely naked in that magazine. And although I own five copies, I’ve never been able to bring myself to look inside (the cover only shows him from the waist up). There are some boundaries you just can’t cross as friends. Nakedness is one of them.

I pick up a donut and shove it in my mouth to keep from smiling. “No! I really mean it. Kelsey seemed…fun.”

“You stuck your tongue out at her in the box last night.”

“Geez! Do the Avengers know about you and your superhuman eyesight?”

He smiles and reaches out to tug on my messy ponytail. “Was Kelsey a jerk to you when I wasn’t around? Be honest.”

Nathan has black eyes. Not chocolate, not brown. Jet freaking black. And when they zero in on me like this, it feels like I’m suffocating. Like I couldn’t get away from their intensity even if I tried.

I shrug a shoulder and take a drink of my coffee. “She wasn’t the best, but it’s no big deal.”

“What’d she say?”

“Doesn’t matter.”

He inches closer. “Bree.”

“Nathan. See, I can do it too.”

He’s quiet…thoughtful, a mere five inches between our chests. “I’m sorry if she made you feel bad. I didn’t realize she was like that toward you or I would have broken up with her a long time ago.”

A corner of my heart aches. If he cares about me being in his life so much, why isn’t he attracted to me? No. Uh-uh. Not going there. I refuse to be that girl. We’re friends and I’m happy with that. Grateful for it. And maybe one day, life will toss me a man who loves me back as much as I love him. Either way, I’m good right now.

“Well, I didn’t exactly help things. I probably shouldn’t have come over here this early and let myself in.” I take a big bite of my chocolate donut. “I should implement better boundaries.”

“Probably,” he says, sounding gravely serious. But when my eyes jump up to his, Nathan is grinning—right dimple popping and all.

I playfully shove his arm. “What! If that’s the case, maybe I should take away your key to my apartment. Implement some boundaries there.”

He takes the last bite of his donut, grin still in place. “Good luck. I’m never giving it back.” His arm brushes against mine as he passes by me, and I wonder if it would be a breach of these boundaries if I plastered myself to his body like a barnacle.

I think I need this run more than he does, and for completely different reasons.