The Artist

Chapter 14

I was so cold; I left the dining room as soon as Alexander did. Hoping that a hot bath would move the coldness that had settled into my bones. Shivering as I sunk into the huge tub. Peace had been not what I imagined it to be. My light was being overshadowed by guilt and not mine. Mo’s, her pain and suffering, that’s what kept me hurting. I couldn’t expect her to understand my feelings, nor could I be upset about hers. I simply hoped for closure. Especially since I had given her what she’d asked for. An illustrated history of my life. It was my gift to Mo; it was hers. What she did with it after my death was her choice. But the burden of guilt had not left me. It just throbbed like a nagging paper cut. The pain never justified the wound. Something that small should not cause that much discomfort. It added to the injustice of my life. I slid below the surface of the water. Letting it surround me with something besides everyone else’s feelings. That included Alexander’s; he’s unwanted emotions traveled throughout my body. It was not my fault he was hurting. It was not my fault he was in this position. It was his, Alexander’s claim had created the misery we were all in. Leaving the hot bath, I dressed and crawled into Alexander’s bed. Piling the blankets on top. Building and layering fabric to give me the warmth I could not seem to make on my own. Draining fatigue took me to restless sleep.

I found myself on a bridge. A long expanse of wood and metal that connected lands hidden by a thick fog. Below the rungs was a river, cold and roaring. The spray from the water covered me in a fine mist. I would have to strain to find anything familiar in the fog. But there really was no point. My mind had taken me to this bridge, setting me in the middle of it with a clear purpose. I could not continue to live on the narrow path between my Omega and my heart. I could not withstand the elements any longer. I was being told to choose. My heart fought my body; they wrestled in my mind, each one using force and reason to justify their cause. I was tired of listening to them. And when I had enough, I walked. The first step was shaky. The bridge swayed with the movement, rocking my entire body, forcing me to grab the side for support. Vertigo rolled my stomach as I took another dizzy step forward. The further I moved from the center, the more I struggled. But I had made my choice. I left the bridge and headed into the forest, and to Kita.

I had hoped death would be fast. Really, how long did the body fight when the will had already left? I had stopped eating and drinking days ago. The starvation had not been easy at first. My body cried out for what it needed to live. But I ignored it, focusing on Kita.

“Sister?” The concerned voice of someone I didn’t know called to me. Turning, I saw a woman standing cautiously in the doorway.

“Who are you?”

“Rain, my name is Rain Stark,” She nervously replied.

“The freeborn Omega?” I was moved from my numbing fog for the first time in days. The sight of the beautiful young woman was stirring. Even with the perplexed look of disbelief, she was stunning. Flawless skin, soft gold hair, she was an angel.

“Yes.” She said, walking towards me.

“I am sorry for staring.” I weakly apologized for my obvious gawking. “You’re beautiful,” I said, justifying my poor manners.

She wrinkled her brow for a second, looking a little lost for words.

“Omegas are uniquely created; we are all beautiful in our own way.” Smiling at me, she came to stand by my chair.

“Why are you here, Rain?”

“I am here for you, sister.” Her choice of words where odd, hitting my heart with a dull stab. Rain offered me her hand. She was not afraid of exposing her feelings. I felt an instant connection with her. Again, surprising me with emotions I’d tried to bury. Her skin was warm and soft. The texture of cashmere, I looked at her closely.

“You should be drawn, Omega.” If I had the urge to live, I would have offered to do it myself.

“Henley, you flatter me more than my Alphas.” The soft blush made her look more youthful.

“You have more than one mate? Why?” Curiosity had gotten the better of me when Alexander had told me this before. Rain’s eyes softened; the Omega dropped to her knees.

“Because I am rare, sister. I am just like you.”

“You are not like me, Rain, I am dying.” The sadness that death brings clenched my heart. Another feeling I was sick of processing.

“By choice Henley.” Her voice was sympathetic yet, not entirely. “What you are doing is by your hand.” Rain may be the most beautiful woman on the planet. But she was brutally honest. I enjoyed that trait the most.

“If you knew the truth.” That was the only reason I could give.

“I know enough, Henley.” Rain said. “This wasn’t the future you had envisioned for yourself.” Rain didn’t know how right she was. The fact that Alexander had been somewhat honest with the outsider was shocking. That must have been difficult for Alexander, confessing his greedy sins to Rain.

“Do you blame me?”

“Yes and no.” She said, squeezing my hand. “I was not forced into a claim Henley. But I know what it is like to be cherished.” Rain was trying to make me see the light in the dead of night. I shook my head weakly. Kita had always been my light. There was no life without the sun. I was choosing to find my way back to the light.

“We will have to agree to disagree on that subject, Rain.” I wasn’t arguing about the past or her definition of cherished. I had made peace with my end. One opinionated Omega was not changing my mind.

“I am pretty strong-willed.” Rain warned me. The little laugh that moved my achy chest caught her eye.

“You haven’t tangled with me,” I replied. That’s why Rain was here. Alexander was scared, grasping for hope in unlikely places. From what Alexander had told me, Rain was not his biggest fan.

Rain’s laugh was infectious. Again, my chest ached when I laughed too.

“Henley, you and I have so much in common.”

“Well, then grab a seat, and we will see.”

It was wrong of me to encourage a new friendship while planning my death. But Rain knew what she was getting herself into. She didn’t think twice about my invitation. She was eager to talk to me, with her own agenda in mind, of course. It was funny that she believed she could sway me. But I understood the tenacity that drove her. It was just as strong as mine.

“Tell me about yourself, Henley.” Rain was asking me to open my book of life. But I’d spent the last month revisiting chapters that still hurt. I didn’t have the energy, shaking my head. I apologized for my weakness.

“My story is exhausting. I’d rather hear yours.”

“Mine, mine is.” Rain paused as she looked for the right words. “Interesting.” She chuckled at the personal joke. A mischievous sound that made me feel left out. I wanted badly to know what she had to say.

“Interesting how?”

“I am a rebel to my core Henley. I was born to fight.” Rain said, adjusting herself in her seat. She was getting comfortable. Storytime with Rain Stark promised to be worth my time.

“What do you know about our goddess?” The blonde beauty asked me.

“Not much.” My fear of discovery had kept me from researching. Books, paper, or digital were risky. Anything Omega would have been a flag. I had not been willing to take that chance.

Cass-

Henley had wrapped her soul around another. Emotionally and mentally, clinging to the memory of Kita. She was pale and gaunt, weak and fading. My mate was content to die. Not caring that she was hurting me in the process. I fought for her. Doing everything in my power to pull her to me. I lived each second in the bond, pouring every ounce of reason into it. She could deny many things, but not the raw pain I was feeling. Unfortunately, it was not enough to move her from her death march. I was not enough, a hopelessness that I had never known crushed me. Desperation and pain had made me call on Rain. I was putting my future in someone else’s hands. And not Jamie’s, but an Omega who was not fond of me. Rain had spent hours with Henley, minutes I spent feeling. Internally listening to Henley’s heart through the bond. The act was always taxing. Trying to process feelings that were not mine. Looking for meaning and understanding while not becoming hopeful. The little sparks of excitement that would occasionally flutter in Henley’s catatonic heart were not caused by me. They were his, always his. I worked myself to the brink of insanity, pouncing on Rain the second she walked into my office.

“Tell me,” I ordered, resisting the urge to rip my hair out of my head. Rain’s expression was sickening. A cross between anger and sympathy held together by heart-wrenching sorrow. Silent seconds boomed with the deafening thundering of my heart.

“I am ... sorry.”

“Sorry? I don’t need you to be sorry. I need you to be helpful.” I needless snapped at her. Rain was being more understanding than I deserved, ignoring my misdirected emotions.

Her features were pained, shaking her head as she looked me straight in the eye.

“I can’t make her live Alpha. That is your job.”

“Don’t you think I have fucking tried to do that.” I erupted, slamming my hand down on the desk.

“You overreached. You took something that wasn’t yours because you felt entitled.” She fired back. “You got greedy, don’t look to me for redemption.” I wasn’t interested in revisiting my crimes. Henley punished me daily for them. The pain was tearing me apart, twisting and contorting my being. I would have destroyed everything in this room if I could have caught my breath. Instead, I buckled, leaning my weight against the desk. Tears hit the back of my eyes, stinging like acid.

“I love her, Rain. I love her.” The words took my breath as I choked on the emotions they raised. I was lost, grieving for a life that still breathed for another. I didn’t miss the full-body shudder that shook Rain. I was far too desperate to care how weak the truth made me look in her eyes. Henley was my only concern. Her life was the only thing I’d ever truly wanted.

“Tell her, not me.” Rain’s voice did not hide the tears. She was overcome with the moment.

“What good could come of it. The bond is saturated with it, Rain. She refuses to feel it. My words will be useless.”

I heard her sniffle, frustrated, and troubled. She wiped away her tears.

“Then give her what she wants, you stupid fuck.” She snapped at me. “If you really love her, then save her.”

Jaime-

Henley was losing her light. The cold purple hue of death was taking its place upon her skin. I removed the protective needle cap, struggling to find a viable vein in Henley’s arm. All soldiers are trained in combat medicine. I’d started more IV’s than I could remember, none of them had been this hard. Henley didn’t even flinch when I finally found a potential vein. It was weak and thin from dehydration. Henley’s suicide had taken a toll on her entire body. The little vein could easily collapse. I silently prayed to keep it opened. I needed a little time for the electrolyte cocktail I was flooding into her veins to work. With the site secured, I taped it to her cold skin. Cursing at the fear that was whipping my emotions into a frenzy. I opened the valve on the IV solution, watching as the fluid flooded the clear tubing. The vital liquid could not fill Henley’s body fast enough for me. Standing guard, I pulled up a chair. Intending to make sure she didn’t sabotage my efforts. Henley grumbled but made no move to pull at the IV. Defensive and edgy, I watched her closely. Minutes moved through my mental hourglass. The sand moved hellishly slow, to slow for my nerves. I found my mind flipping the glass before it had run out; I was trying to buy time. Thirty maddening minutes passed as her color improved a fraction. The deathly purple had lifted slightly. I had never been so happy to see her fair skin look alive again. The bag was almost empty. Henley was not out of the woods, but she was far more stable than she had been hours ago. I placed her hand back under the blanket I’d covered her with. Tucking the soft material around her tiny body. Henley was not sleeping. She was just stoic. Using her silence as another weapon to torture us. Like everything Henley did, it was effective. Frazzled nerves were never helpful. Losing control of your emotions fed chaos. I had been in a constant state of chaos for days. It had exposed the raw wires of my soul. Sparking and snapping, they tried to find the connection they needed to work properly.

“You are going to kill him, Henley.” I finally voiced my fear. “Your death will cause Alexanders.”

Even justified in my argument, I struggled to keep her gaze. Her eyes were haunted.

“What are you asking me?” Henley weakly asked me.

“I am not asking you; I am begging.” Desperation soured my sense, changed my scent.

“You want me to save his life?” She asked, moaning in discomfort as she moved in the bed. “I begged you for mercy not that long ago, traitor. I begged you to save a life that I loved.” Cold words cut through my heart, trembling me. Surprising me with its force. “You have no right to ask me for mercy when you did not give it to me.”

We kept an agonizing vigil by Henley’s side. The first round of IV fluid had not been enough. I had administered two more bags. Dusk was bringing a feeling of dread with it, cloaking the city with darkness, adding more anticipation while taking its light. Cass paced the floor by the bed. I took up residence in the corner by the window. Not that the view changed. The eerie silence that comes before all hope is lost set in around us. Henley reached for it, drinking it easily, while Cass and I choked. I didn’t know how much more of this I could take. How Cass was holding on was beyond my reason. Henley watched me from her bed. Was she happy to see me suffer? More than likely. It wasn’t meant to happen this way. The Omega should have come to terms with the events that had put us here. She was an Omega. Her entire purpose was to be claimed, bonded. That was the order of our world. Alphas cannot thrive and prosper without an Omega. Life stops, not able to move forward without the essential pairing of the two. Rain does not come without clouds. The two had to merge to gift life to the land.

Cass spoke perfectly in English, but his native Spanish was flawless. A language I had picked up while enlisted with him.

“Give her a reason to live Cass,” I ordered him. The foreign words never flowed off my tongue the way they did his. The strange sounds briefly peeked the comatose Omega.

“Tell me how to do that?” Cass had lost hope hours ago. His voice was as lost as his eyes were. “Give me the magic that will make her choose to live.”

“She wants his life Cass, for fuck’s sake, give it to her. Save her life and yours.” Raising my voice as if the answer was any more obvious. Cass moved sad eyes to mine.

“I have pride, Jamie. Do not dare suggest I sacrifice that as well.” He said as if that justified his death. I attacked him, taking Cass to the floor by surprise alone. He only reacted out of instinct. It was the most fight I’d seen in him for days. I would happily take the bruises I knew were coming.

“Fucking coward.” I accused, punching him hard in the stomach as he tried to flip me off his body.

“Swallow your ego. Give him to Henley.” I pulled back in time to miss his fist. Cass erupted with a violent roar that shook the entire room — tapping into an unstable explosion of rage. Super-human strength took control of his body. Cass hurled me off of him. I landed hard, not even having time to recover before Cass was in my face.

“Henley has taken everything from me, Everything.” Cass bellowed. “I will die with what pride I have left. You will leave me with that.” Chest heaving, Cass rounded on Henley, speaking to her in English. “If you die Omega, he will suffer. I will punish Kita. I will strap him to a hospital bed, feeding life into his prisoned body.” Cass threatened the stunned woman. “I will keep him from you.”

Cass blew out of the room, with me on his heels.

“You promised her; you gave Henley your word.” I bit at him.

“We had an arrangement. One that Henley has not honored.” Cass thundered, throwing a chair across the room.

“That’s bullshit Cass, you’re not a child.” I was enraged to think this intelligent man would stoop to the level of a schoolyard bully.

He growled a warning, not that I need it. He was rank with his fury.

“Go, keep eyes on him. I will call you if the need arises.”

“Fuck you; I will not dishonor myself any further.” I spat at him.

“You will do as you are fucking told.” Cass roared at me. Loud enough that Henley would have heard from her death bed. “You are my second. I command this pack.”

I made no move to leave, standing ready to fight this out. Cass was unstable, erupting as he charged towards me. I dropped him with a hard kick to his chest. But the rage had him far too gone. When he scrambled to his feet to come at me again, I caught him with an uppercut. Cass was my superior. He did hold authority over me. But he was no match for me physically. “You lead because I never challenged you for it.” The emotional and mental strain of the past weeks finally took my mind. Rational and clear thought left me. I was as volatile as Cass was. Neither of us was fit to be in each other’s company, let alone Henley’s.

“I am done,” I said, pulling my security key from my pocket. “I want no more blood on my hands.” I left Cass reeling on the floor, shaking from the adrenaline that was poisoning my blood. I hesitated by Henley’s door, thinking very hard about begging her to forgive me. To confess that she had been right, I was a traitor. She’d made me question my integrity for weeks now. She’d made me feel thinks I’d buried. The fleeting feeling of redemption was pushed away by my weakness. I, too, had a little pride left. I moved for the front door and Henley’s prophecy.

Misery hit me hard as I entered my apartment. The open room felt like a claustrophobic tomb. I paced the large living space, uneasy, and edgy. My life felt like it had been blown apart. Conflicted and pained, I was walking a dangerous road. Unbelievable guilt and apathy pounded in my veins. This exact moment in my life was excruciating. I had believed I left this pain in the desert. The years that had passed from then till now mocked me. I had never had peace; it was a lie. My anxiety continued to grow, morphing into a beast that I struggled to hold. It had only been a few hours since I’d left Cass. Minutes that felt like tortured years. How I thought I could walk away while Cass and Henley suffered was insane.

“Fuck!” I yelled, heading for the front door. So, focused on getting out of the apartment, I jumped when my phone went off.

“Jamison,” I barked into the phone.

“Jaime, …. she’s gone.” The disbelief in Cass’s voice shut me down.

Icy dread froze my muscles, stopping me where I stood. No air filled my lungs, gasping for a breath I could not catch.

Immediately my mind saw Henley, cold and discolored. Her beauty masked by the veil of death. I was lost in a state of denial. Not understanding how I would console Cass, or keep him from following her.

“I need you here,” Cass was inconsolable and distraught. ”Please, I need you to find her.”

“Find her?” Confusion fogged my head. I was unable to understand his words.

“She left; Henley left me.”