The Alpha's Shatter Zone

The dark circles under her eyes rivaled the blackness of her shirt. The pure black material hung lifelessly over her thin body, and Chesca dragged a finger down the foggy mirror.

Wiping away the condensation from the hot shower, she stared at her reflection. The grim lines around her mouth couldn’t be erased with a fake smile, no matter how hard she tried. The limpness of her blonde strands draped over her shoulders, desperately needing some attention, but it still hurt to lift her arms to even brush it. The long claw marks on her back were slowly healing, but the hole in her chest was going to take a lot longer to heal than any physical wound. Leaning closer, she examined her eyes next. A swirling milky blackness ringed her usually green irises, as if even the guilt and grief that consumed her heart were bleeding into her eyes. The windows to her soul—a soul that seemed to have died along with sixty-six of her pack members two days ago.

The bedroom door opened quietly, and Chesca hurried over to let the doctor in.

Then Chesca crossed over to the bed while the doctor pulled a stethoscope from her coat pocket.

“Has he stirred?”

“No, not since the extra dose of sedatives last night, to help with the pain,” Chesca answered, looking down with worry at her mate who lay motionless in her bed. She’d insisted that Kaiden be brought up to their room, and placed in her bed so she could keep watch over him around the clock. The medical clinic was overflowing with the many others injured during the battle with Elbert. And besides, Chesca didn’t want to leave Kaiden’s side, not after he saved her and the pack from the biggest enemy they’d ever faced.

He’d killed his own father to protect her, and although she’d thought it over a hundred times since, trying to think of some other path they could have taken, she had to admit that killing him was the only way to stop the conflict. Elbert could not be allowed to continue his reign of terror any longer.

The doctor peeled back the bandages that wrapped around Kaiden’s entire chest and stomach, and examined the numerous red wounds. “They’re improving. In a couple of days, he should be much better. His Alpha genes are responsible for saving his life. Ordinarily, this extent of injuries is fatal.”

Chesca knew this, and whispered yet another prayer of thankfulness that her mate was still with her, critical though his state was. “Thank you, Doctor Sarah,” Chesca noted the doctor’s pursed lips but didn’t push her for more information. They both knew how bad Kaiden really was, and how fortunate he was to even still be breathing.

“And how are you?” The auburn-haired young doctor turned to her Alpha.

Her breath hitched, but Chesca wordlessly lifted her shirt over her head and sat on the edge of the bed. Sarah examined her back for a few moments, then gave her a satisfactory smile. “Much better. You’ll have a few scars remaining, but nothing to worry about.” After packing up her things, the doctor exited the room quietly.

Nothing to worry about, indeed. Good thing the doctor couldn’t see the state of her heart. She’d likely pronounce her dead, and arrange for an autopsy. It wouldn’t take a genius to determine what had killed her, one major cause being the tentative state of her mate’s life as it still hung precariously on the edge of oblivion.

Chesca remained seated for a time, her eyes on the carpet and her thoughts miles away. If only she’d listened to the warnings, and confronted Elbert earlier. If only she’d trusted Kaiden much sooner, and worked together with him to sort out the problems. If only they’d mated soon after meeting, instead of pushing each other away with their stubbornness and Alpha arrogance. If only…

The regrets were endless, and she didn’t know how long she sat, bunching the shirt in her fists and sometimes wanting to tear it apart in angst. She finally settled on burying her face in the material as silent tears slid down her cheeks.

Her body jolted involuntarily as warm fingers touched her back, gently tracing down her scars and leaving a trail of sparks in their wake.

“Kaiden…” she spun around and stared at him through blurry eyes. “How are you feeling?” she crawled on the bed to get closer and rested her hands on either side of his face.

“Better, now that you’re here,” he whispered.

“Thank goodness you’re okay. Doctor Sarah said in a day or so you should be all healed, and I’m so thankful, I don’t know what I’d do without you—“

“Shhh,” he pulled her closer and hushed her with a finger to her lips.

She lay down beside him, as she’d done the last two nights, and rested her head on his shoulder, carefully wrapping her arm around his injured midsection.

“You’d be number sixty-seven if…”

“No ifs, Chesca, just take the present as it comes. You can’t blame yourself for everything that’s happened,” her mate took a steadying breath, and she pressed a kiss to his cheek. “You can’t change the past.”

“I know. But I still need to learn from it. Learn to trust no one, but learn that I should’ve trusted you in the first place. How do I deal with such a contradiction?”

He rubbed lazy circles on her back, erasing the ache from her newly acquired scars, as they lay together in silence for a few moments. “By listening to your heart,” he answered at length, the softness of his voice soothing her worries and concerns. “And sometimes your head.”

“But what about when they tell me different things?” She peered up at him, their faces only inches apart.

“Then you listen to your wise mate,” he grinned, and she couldn’t help raising her head to kiss his lips. It was a slow kiss, full of promise and meaning, of patience and tenderness. Neither were in a physical or mental state for it to progress any further, but after everything they’d been through, a kiss was the perfect amount of intimacy to speak the thousand words that hung between them.

After a while she gently pulled away and moved to get up, but his arm tightened around her.

“Kaiden, I need to prepare for the funeral rituals,” she reasoned despite her heart protesting.

“Just a few more minutes,” he pleaded, the warm look in his eyes tugging at her heart. “Please, just stay with me a while longer.”

“Okay,” Chesca surrendered, and once more rested her head in the crook of his neck after placing a gentle kiss on his mark.

The wild grass swayed in time with the gentle breeze, glistening with a golden hue as the sun slowly sank to the horizon. Swallows and ravens darted and soared in the sky, calling to their mates and preparing to settle for the night.

Under the peaceful atmosphere, the wolves of Steelheart, Razestone, and TidalBay packs were preparing for something also. Men and women carried logs and firewood to the hill that rose beside the lake, a clearing devoid of trees that could be seen from even the lowest valleys near the main pack residence. A large pile of wood was growing with each armload thrown down.

A funeral pyre.

Chesca sat further up the hill, watching the proceedings with a heavy heart.

Plucking a stalk of the long grass, she twirled it between her fingers before tearing it into a dozen little pieces.

“When will you stop blaming yourself?” Lexi asked gently from beside her, laying a hand on her arm to still the Alpha’s agitated movements.

“When it no longer becomes my fault. Which will never happen, so…”

“Chesca, let me tell you this as a friend: you’ve got to forgive yourself. We need you to be our Alpha, to lead us and pull us together after this tragedy. You’ve done it before, and now you need to do it again.”

“But last time it wasn’t my fault,” she turned agonised eyes to her friend. “I fought through grief to be a strong leader. But now this time, I failed you all. Elbert was right, I shouldn’t ever have been Alpha—“

“Elbert was a monster who destroyed lives for fun,” Lexi’s eyes flashed and her voice trembled. “Don’t you dare listen to anything he said. Everything is his fault, and the sooner you believe that, the sooner we can all move on and begin to heal.” Lexi wrapped her arm around her Alpha, comforting her, and Chesca returned the gesture. It was all she could do not to cry all over Lexi. Her head guard had lost so much, yet she was the one keeping it all together and giving others kind words? It only made Chesca’s heart ache more.

“How can you be so strong? You lost your baby, and the doctor said you would never be able to—“

“I know, I know. It hurts like nothing has ever hurt before, but Charles and I will get through it. Together, we’ll get through it,” her voice trembled and betrayed a small amount of the Guard’s true emotions. “But I can’t wallow in misery all day—Ariella needs me. Just like our pack needs you,” Lexi finished firmly and with a quiet sniff. Wiping her eyes, she looked over at the little girl who was busy picking wild flowers. Ariella bobbed down and examined one carefully before plucking it and adding it to the bunch in her chubby fist. Charles and Lexi had decided to adopt her and care for her as their own pup after losing their baby during the battle. Ariella needed parents, and they needed a child to love.

“You’re right….again.” Chesca released a long sigh and watched the amber hues of the sunset shift through a variety of accents and colours. Golden, daffodil yellow, to peach blossom and violet, then finally cornflower blue far above her head. It was as if a layer of magic blanketed the sky in defiance of the grief and emptiness that filled each wolf’s heart below.

But the pack would press on, as evidenced by the scene of activity on the hill not far away.

A rustling sound behind them caught their attention, and both women turned to inspect. Lexi gave Chesca a knowing smile before standing and walking further away, leading Ariella by gently taking her hand.

Chesca jumped up and brushed off the back of her pants self-consciously as the sight of her mate filled her stomach with butterflies.

“What are you doing up? You’re supposed to be in bed resting!” she scolded and hurried over to Kaiden. With the sunlight catching his face just so, it glowed despite the white pallor that still clung to his features. His shirt was crumpled and his feet were unsteady, but his smile still held that blazing strength that had first attracted her to him. A strength with a flicker of vulnerability that spoke to her inner compassion, and that complemented her own fears and flaws. His eyes caught hers, glinting with an other-worldy glow, and mesmerised her.

“I didn’t want to miss the rituals.” His arms reached out to her, and she gently wrapped her own around him, being careful of his midsection. But he pulled her closer, pressing a kiss to the top of her head before lifting her chin. “And I was missing my beautiful mate, feeling sorry for myself. I should be out here supporting you. I’ve been bedridden for too long, making you handle everything by yourself.”

“But you needed to rest to heal properly.” Chesca patted his chest, “You’d be no good to anyone if you pushed yourself too hard and hurt yourself even more. I’ve had everything under control since…” she trailed off and lowered her eyes before lifting them to his understanding face again. “You are my top priority.”

“Chesca, you are indeed too kind to me,” he held her chin gently and placed a soft kiss on her lips.

She smiled brightly before biting her lip. “I’m glad you’re feeling better. The doctor said—”

“Shh,” he swallowed her words by covering her mouth with his again, with a slower and more meaningful kiss. “I don’t want to hear about that. Just enjoy the moment,” he whispered against her lips.

She happily obliged, and that sat together on the hill overlooking the evening’s proceedings for a while before they were summoned that everything was ready. They would soon be needed to conduct the funeral ceremonies.

Kaiden had his arm draped around her shoulders and she rested her head against his chest, watching the sun finally disappear while the waning moon rose higher and higher above them. For once, she felt at peace, like this moment was something she’d been yearning for without realising it. If she could push to the back of her mind the broken state of her pack, she could feel the wholeness of her heart as it beat in time with Kaiden’s. Her mate. Her dear, brave, Alpha mate who had given up so much to protect her and her pack.

She carried these thoughts with her as she walked down the hill and wound her way among the gathered pack members, taking her place on the small platform that had been erected a few dozen yards from the pile of wood. The bodies of the fallen wolves lay silently atop, the souls long departed.

LIfting the hood of the ceremonial cape to her head, Alpha Chesca took a deep breath of the gathering darkness, drawing strength from her loyal pack members and her dear mate by her side. “We come together not to mourn, but to celebrate the lives of our beloved friends and family. To remember their brave sacrifices. The greatest honour they could have done was to love, and lay down their lives for us so that we may breathe for another day. That we may enjoy this life we have been given,” Chesca swallowed the growing lump in her throat, blinked back tears, and made eye contact with as many of the gathered men and women as possible. Members from her own pack stood with those from Kaiden’s and Jackson’s, each having lost warriors in the battle. “We shall not forget them, nor the legacies each and every one of them leaves behind. Our duty now lies in forging a new path and a brighter tomorrow. We will build on their courage, and ….and never falter.” The words felt thick on her tongue, the emotion making it hard to go on. Kaiden wrapped his hand around hers and gave her an encouraging smile.

Holding his gaze, the warmth shining in his eyes gave her the needed confidence. “We will live for love. We will fight for love. And, if need be….we will die for love.”

Murmurs of agreement spread throughout the pack, a few clapping hands and stomping their feet. Chesca then took the ceremonial torch that blazed on the pole beside her, and stepped up to the large pyre. Touching it to the logs, they at first flickered, then roared to life as the heat spread through them. As the bodies burned and the sparks rose upwards to meet the moon in the night sky, Chesca felt her heart soar with them in gratitude. “May their sacrifice never be forgotten.”

Each wolf, representing their respective pack, repeated the final farewell with their voices joining as one.

With a new hope blooming in her chest, Chesca watched Lexi and Charles holding little Ariella between them, tears glistening on their cheeks. She then saw Eric, Roman, and Xavier standing solemnly with their hands folded in respect. Next to them was Mace, a jagged scar running down his cheek and a haunted look in his eyes. But Mace’s face soon softened as he watched his sister Alice, in the loving arms of Jackson. Another piece of beauty that had come out of this was Alice and Jackson finding each other as mates. Perhaps others too had found new purpose and meaning after such a tragedy. Chesca could only wonder.

Kaiden came up close behind Chesca, and she felt his chest pressed against her back warmly. She leaned into his embrace and he placed a kiss behind her ear. “Good job, my darling. I always knew you made a better Alpha than me.”

Wrapping her hands over his, she smiled faintly. “I couldn’t have done this without you, Kaiden. None of us could have,” she stated with conviction while watching those around her remember and farewell the fallen warriors in their own way.

Sharing the land may have brought them all together as packs, and it was love that definitely made them stronger. But Chesca realised something else.

It was death that unified them.