Slay My Soul

I stare out the rain-splattered back window at the distorted, dark shadow lying on the dirt mound. I rest my head against the cool glass and sigh.

Oh Eve. My heart breaks for her.

It’s been nearly two weeks since we lost Reece. We had buried him the next day, and as soon as the last shovel of dirt had gone on his grave, Eve had transformed into her wolf. She had tilted her head to the sky and let loose a long mournful howl to her lost love, before curling up on his grave. She hasn’t moved from the site since.

To begin with, we stayed with her. Showing her our solidarity and mourning with her. Then attacks began at our borders, testing our lines of defense for weakness. We explained to her that we needed to defend our people. She refused to budge. Covering her nose with her tail and letting out a sad whine.

Eve is broken. A piece of her soul has been torn from her and she can not bring herself to accept the loss and let Reece go. She stays as close to him as she can, curled up on his grave, whimpering for him in her sleep. No amount of coaxing, reasoning, or threatening can tear her away. We had to make the hard decision to step up and look after the borders and the people in our care. But we always take turns watching over her, ensuring she is never alone. We all miss Eve being present with us, but we understand she needs this period of mourning. Except it’s not Eve mourning, it’s her wolf, Eve has checked out. I am startled out of my thoughts as a hand clasps my shoulder.

“It will get better Garret,” Dev says quietly. I shake my head as I continue staring out the window.

“She will never forgive me,” I state.

“It had to be done. You were just the first to see reason and accept the burden for us all. If not you, it would have been one of us, regardless.”

I nod. I know I took the fall for the rest. I refused to let them shoulder the final blow of having to put Reece down permanently. I knew she would hate me for it. Hell, I hated to do it, but it was the right thing to do. The kindest thing to do. I knew at the time, I would rather it be me she hated than them. I just hadn’t realized how hard her resentment of me, would be to deal with. It is like a rejection without words. Needles that stab my heart as the gap between us widens every day. Her wolf won’t allow me near the grave or near her. Watching her from the window is the closest I can get.

I wasn’t the only one in the dog box. Sirus too is on her wolf’s shit list. He had gone with Reece to the vampires. He had escaped. Reece had not. He had restrained her so she couldn’t stop me from plunging the knife through Reece’s skull. Eve’s wolf won’t allow him near her now either, growling whenever he attempts to go near the grave. The same treatment she gives me. He has stopped trying and now disappears for days at a time.

Darius spends most of his time drowning his sorrows. Trying to drink himself into oblivion and numb the pain of the snapped mate bond. Sometimes he will rear his head long enough to drag his drunk ass outside to wrap himself around Eve, seeking comfort from the only one who understands the devastation of his grief. But mostly he just drinks and passes out.

We are a mess. Snapping at each other, on edge with Eve’s withdrawal and Reece’s absence. The pack is struggling to keep its head above water, worrying about its Alpha and Luna. The frequent attacks at the border fraying their nerves. They need Eve desperately to ground them. Unfortunately, Eve is currently out of order.

Eve has pushed herself into a deep corner of her mind and lets her wolf side dominate. Her wolf wants its lost mate. All attempts to reach Eve are met with silence and mental walls. She shields her mind from us all. Her human side suffers in silence away from the comfort we can offer, and lets her wolf grieve physically, the only way it knows how, without her human logic in play.

I see a huge shadow slink from the forest behind Eve and breathe a sigh of relief as it settles to stand over her. Sheltering her from the rain, it grooms her wet fur with its tongue. Acassus has returned from his border shift. In his hound form, her wolf allows him to touch and comfort her. Something that is not possible when he is in his human form, as the wolf sees him as a threat otherwise. My shoulders relax, seeing her wolf accept much-needed TLC, without snapping at the giant beast.

Lysario stands up from where he has been sitting, leaning against the large concrete headstone, and heads for the house. I hand him a towel as he comes in, shoes squelching from being soaked. He gives me a nod of thanks and strips on the spot, his clothes landing with a wet plop on the floor. He dries himself off and wraps the towel around his waist.

“I don’t know how much longer this can go on. She’s still not eating,” he sighs. “I spoke to her the whole time. She never made a peep and didn’t even acknowledge my existence. She’s getting really thin now, we may need to knock her out soon and get an I.V line going.”

“We need to get Darius sorted. He may be able to reach her through their mutual loss, but we need his head on straight. It’s a shame she’s so pissed at her Dad. He would have had her at least fired up and plotting revenge, channeling that anger and hurt into a purpose. Though I doubt he would be able to reason with her wolf. Not even I can. I think Darius may be our only shot before we look at more drastic means," Dev shakes his head frustrated. “Maybe if some of us work on Darius and some of us work on Sirus. She's going to need D to get her out and her dad to help her once we have her human again."

“Do we know where Darius is? At the bar or passed out?” I ask.

“I’ll link Max. He’s been babysitting him.” Dev’s eyes glaze. “Passed out by the river,” he tells me after a moment.

“Right, let’s see if we can get him up and functioning,” I say, glad to have at least a partial plan. “Ly, do you and Luka want to see if you can crack Sirus?” Ly gives me a nod and heads upstairs to dress.

Dev follows me out of the house to the river, where Max stands guard over his passed-out Alpha. He bows his head to me as I pass him.

“Any change with Eve?” Max asks hopefully. I shake my head as I make a beeline for his charge.

My sensitive nose is assaulted by the alcoholic fumes wafting from Darius, along with the scent of his unwashed body. His face is covered in a ratty un-kempt beard. His hair resembles a bird’s nest.

“Jesus Christ! He needs a bath!” Dev exclaims, holding his sleeve up to his nose to block out the smell. I glance at the river nearby and grin.

“So let’s give him one,” I shrug. A smile crawls over Dev’s face and we bend down, holding our breaths. I grab his legs and Dev grabs him under the armpits. We carry him down to the river, wading in until we are soaked to our waists before we plunge him under the freezing water. It takes a moment for his instincts to kick in and rouse him enough to start thrashing. We lift him up, letting him splutter and catch some air before we plunge him down again. A further two treatments are applied before he comes up roaring and fists swinging.

“I’M GOING TO KILL YOU COCK SUCKING FUCKERS!!!”

And there he is.

"Welcome back to the world," I laugh patting his head, and ducking the fist he throws.