Roachville

Bobbing up and down, the naga showed me its profile and turned little by little to face me. In slow motion, it deployed its limbs and I fell into the mesmerising embrace. Time and space dissolved and I plunged inside a vortex of bluey pink, like the soft centre of a newly wrapped marshmallow.

The naga’s voice was gentle and all-encompassing. I didn’t know what language it spoke in. Maybe telepathy?

‘So at last, we meet.’

‘Are you real, or just in my head?’

‘The technicalities aren’t important. Just relax and visualize what I have to say.’

Was this a dream? I couldn’t tell and, more than anything, I wanted to know what the naga had to say. Time was unquantifiable in this dreamy marshmallow and I had no idea how long it was before the naga spoke again, but when it did I was ready.

‘To understand how unworldly nagas are, you should go and see a real leafy sea dragon, a picture of innocence and wisdom all in one. I’m just a wooden version and I am the only one left. We were all made on the banks of the Mekong and over the centuries the secret knowledge of our existence travelled far away from its original location. Your own grandmother was never a naga keeper, but as you heard before from your parents, she was born in the former Indochina and spent her childhood and early adulthood in Ventiane. As you’ve guessed correctly, after the former French colonies gained their independence and she left Laos forever, she hardly ever spoke about her life in the far East, partly because she had never been comfortable with her position as a French white ruler, but also because of what happened to her there.’

My eyes widened.

‘When she was growing up, Alice became friends with one of the servants’ little boy. They played for hours in the garden and spent as much time as they could together. As they became older, Alice’s parents frowned upon the teenagers’ relationship and eventually they weren’t allowed to see each other. However, their friendship was too strong and they kept meeting, albeit secretly. With the passing of years, this friendship turned to love and they kept their relationship secret, but by the time Alice was twenty, she was pregnant and when her family found out, it was too late to do anything about the baby. But Alice wasn’t able to see her lover ever again. This broke her heart and she never recovered from this catastrophe. She tried to kill herself during her pregnancy by swallowing every pill she found in her mother’s pharmacy, but only managed to fall down the stairs, break the fingers on her left hand and smash her face on the hard staircase. You thought her left eye was dead because she had had an accident whilst planting tomatoes. Not so. The damage inflicted on her when she fell was so severe that she lost her eye.’

The naga paused and let me visualize my grandmother and her strange glassy blue eye that used to fascinate me so much as a child.

‘But she didn’t die and the baby was a survivor too. However when he was born, she was completely despondent. Her family had already made arrangements to give away the baby.’

The naga stopped again to give me time to digest all this information and I wondered why some people have to go through so much suffering in this life. Alice herself, her lover and the baby too.

‘Alice’s father was in contact with a couple of Chinese merchants who agreed to adopt the baby boy. These people had tried unsuccessfully to have a child for years. They moved away to a tropical island in Malaysia to start a new life.’

Holding my breath, I suspended all movements. Tann was from Malaysia. Could it be?

‘Exactly, Kenneth Tann was Alice’s love child.’

‘So there’s my link!’ I gasped. ‘That makes him my uncle.’

‘Indeed.’ The naga nodded. ‘Now you can piece together some of the circumstances that surround you.’

‘But I still don’t know why Tann wants you so badly and now that I know I’m related to him, doesn’t it mean I should help him and give you to him?’

‘Let me get back to Alice first. Shortly after abandoning her baby, she moved to France to begin a new life. Of course, she never forgot about her lover or the abandoned baby and although she married and had children, including your mother, her life was shrouded in sadness, a sadness that she could never leave behind and that always stabbed at her whenever she caught the reflection of her glass eye in the mirror. In the meantime, Kenneth Tann grew up on Tioman Island. It could have been a happy childhood despite a bad start in life, but things were never going to be easy for him. On the one hand he always felt like an outsider with the people from the island and on the other hand he never bonded with his adoptive parents. As he grew up the sense of emptiness between them only got bigger and from then on it was a slow descent into more internal darkness for him. One part of him craved love and acceptance, and another part was developing a fantasy world of paranoia, blaming his family for his own faults and even inventing past stories about wrongdoings that had been done to him.’

‘Did he ever find out he was adopted?’ I asked, trying to picture a tormented Kenneth Tann.

‘Yes, he found out on his fifteenth birthday. His father told him everything and he ran away. He spent a few days alone in the jungle and when he came back he was filled with a new resolution. Now that he knew he had no blood links to his parents, he would simply use what resources they could offer and leave the island as soon as he could. He was burning with hatred, but it was under control now. He knew he had to be patient and make the most of the opportunities that would allow him to get his revenge, on his real family, on his adoptive parents and on the people from Tioman Island. ’

‘So you’re saying that if I gave you to him, he would use you to get some sort of revenge?’

‘Yes. Firstly, he would get rid of you. He would learn from me that you two are closely related and it would be a great source of pleasure for him to know that one of Alice’s grandchildren is dead. Once he had picked off Alice’s remaining family, he would turn his attention to Tioman Island and the people he believes wronged him when he was growing up. You cannot underestimate his appetite for destruction.’

Floating about in the dream, I mulled this over.

‘And how do you know all this stuff? You could be making it all up.’

‘That’s true and that is up to you to decide.’ The naga stared at me with his round bulging eyes. ‘But as Phuong has told you, I possess certain powers, which is why I am so precious. It is true that I come alive for each of my guardians and I become a bearer of knowledge. But what can be done with this knowledge depends on each individual.’

The creature kept moving like an underwater plant rocked by a gentle undertow.

‘I can help you discover things about yourself and things that matter to you, but only ever if you become my keeper. And that is why Kenneth Tann also wants me. He hopes that in having me he will find the key to exact his revenge on the family that abandoned him and on the people of Tioman Island.’

‘I see.’ I nodded my head, imitating the naga’s soft movements. ‘But to be honest I’m not really sure. I still don’t know how he heard about you and I wonder what happened in his childhood to make him so angry. I mean how can you be sure he would commit all these murders if he got hold of you?’ I held the naga’s gaze.

The maelstrom of colours disappeared as if it had been cut off by the sharp blade of a guillotine and the naga became gigantic. I recoiled and landed suddenly on rough sand, with a turquoise sea on one side and a dark jungle on the other. In between was a tropical beach filled with people. Under the intense sun, they bowed their heads and formed long quiet lines. On closer inspection, I saw men, women and children of all ages, chained at the ankles to each other. Most men wore round caps on their heads and the women had scarves covering their hair and shoulders. They shuffled along slowly in the same direction, under the supervision of armed guards.

‘What’s this about?’ I turned my head to find the naga.

A dull blow on my right shoulder made me yelp and I had to start moving too. When I looked down, I saw heavy shackles binding my ankles; I, too, trundled inside the line. Beads of perspiration rolled down my forehead and I squinted to try and clear my vision. After long minutes of struggling, we reached a wooden structure. It took me a few seconds to understand it was a very long gallows and I felt as if my heart were being crushed. We were about to be hanged. This isn’t real, I told myself, but the sand was burning, grains chafing between my toes. I smelt the sweat and fear from the woman dragging her chains next to me. I had to get away, I couldn’t die here. I closed my eyes and when I opened them again I saw Kenneth Tann, dressed in a white linen suit, sitting in front of me, in the shade of an immense, swaying palm tree. His beautiful face radiated joy and contentment and he looked straight at me.

’That’s what I need the naga for. The naga will help me transform this island into MY island, where I can rectify things. Some people would qualify it as revenge or ethnic cleansing, but I prefer to call it justice and peace of mind.’

’Please don’t do it,’ I pleaded.

’It has to be done. I will eliminate them all.’

’But why? What have they done to you, can’t you leave them be?’

Kenneth Tann’s beautifully symmetrical face turned into a contorted grimace. He stood up above me, considerably taller than I remembered. Bending down towards me as if he were made of play-dough, he screamed, ‘THAT’S WHY!’

The people lined up about to be hanged and the idyllic tropical beach vanished. I found myself inside a cave. Its ceiling was rounded and blue light diffused from one opening in the distance. Five boys, around ten years old, stood in front of me. They all wore the same round caps as the people on the beach, apart from one – unmistakably a younger Kenneth Tann.

‘I bet you’re too scared to stay until the tide comes in,’ the biggest of the boys said.

Kenneth looked down at the damp floor.

‘Chicken! Chicken! Chicken!’ the other children chanted around him.

Holding back his tears, Kenneth clenched his fists.

‘Chicken! Chicken! Chicken!’ they screamed louder and louder.

‘No, I’m not!’

‘You stupid Chinese boy, you’re not brave enough!’

The children skipped around him as water from the sea seeped into the cave. The water crept around Kenneth’s feet and then receded, rising all the time. Now the other boys splashed him, still taunting him. The biggest boy shoved Kenneth’s shoulder and the other three followed his lead. Kenneth fell in the water and they jeered at him: ‘Wet pants! Wet pants! You chicken, you pissed your pants!’

‘Shut up!’ Kenneth cried.

‘Look, he’s crying now! Stupid Chinese baby!’ mocked the leader.

Shaking with rage and humiliation, Kenneth scrambled up to punch him, but he missed and fell forward.

‘How dare you try to hurt me!’ said the boys’ leader. He kicked Kenneth in the head and the other boys joined him. The jeering had stopped and all that could be heard were the kicks to Kenneth’s body and the water splashing after each impact. The biggest boy stopped and grabbed Kenneth by the hair.

‘Let’s see how long you dare to stay in here now.’

The sea was coming inside the cave in strong waves now and the boys wading knee-deep in the water started towards the blue light. When they reached a narrower point, they climbed on big rounded rocks and their leader screamed, ‘And if you make it out of here alive, don’t bother telling on us. Nobody will believe you and nobody will care, because you’re just a dirty Chinese boy.’

Kenneth stood shivering in the water. His blood mixed with his tears and his body rocked in time with the waves. Soon only his head was above the water. The blue light danced against the low rounded ceiling and the boy dug his fingernails into the palm of his hands.

The blue light faded to black. I was back in my matchbox house in Roachville. The naga spoke.

‘Now that you know more about Kenneth Tann’s true intentions, you will go back to your reality. It will then be up to you to decide if I’m telling the truth and if you want to make sure I stay in the right hands, or whether you don’t believe anything I’ve showed you and you don’t want any part in this.’