Roachville

I stumbled out of Hotel Blue and wandered towards the town centre. I was convinced there was a man following me, but after a few steps he went off in another direction. What about the woman in this doorway? Wasn’t she watching me in a funny way? I walked into St Nicholas indoor market. I had to sit down, eat something and try to calm down. I ordered a smoked-salmon and cream-cheese bagel with a large glass of water. The same old crowd went past my table, a balanced mix of would-be revolutionaries and clean-cut business people from the city centre. The waitress with blonde dreadlocks and a ring in her nose brought me my sandwich.

I tucked into the bagel and tried to make sense of the last few days’ events. I wanted to go to Ely’s garden now, but I was afraid somebody would follow me to his shop. And the last thing I wanted was to jeopardize my chances with Ely. He had promised me that he would bring me the statuette after closing the shop today. That dragon statuette had to be the naga. The one that a charming, yet sinister Malaysian and a poker-faced elder from Laos were obsessing about. I still didn’t know how the naga had made its way to Ely, but he must have been an instrument in the naga’s plan. Pretty cute instrument if you asked me.

Should I get in touch with the cops? I pictured going into my local police station and sitting down in front of an overweight cop with a long walrus moustache. Too much of a caricature. I tried again with a thin, clean-shaven policeman.

Me: I’m being threatened by a man called Kenneth Tann.

Clean-shaven policeman: In what way is he threatening you?

Me: Well, he said his organisation is powerful and knew where to find me.

Clean-shaven policeman: Okay, anything more specific?

Me: Not really, he just mentioned very scary things. For example, that he and his associates would keep an eye on me and that he knew where to find me.

Clean-shaven policeman: Okay… and why is he threatening you?

Me: Because I’m supposed to tell him everything I know about a magic statue from Laos that has disappeared, but nobody knows why.

Clean-shaven policeman: Of course, I see…

It didn’t matter how I presented things to my imaginary policeman, he ended up with an amused smile on his face and a look at his colleagues as he escorted me out of the office that just said ‘doolalee’. I chewed on the last bit of bagel with difficulty. Not much point going to the cops, then.

There were hours to go before Ely would turn up at my house. So I walked to the giant mirror-ball near the museum. When I checked my reflection, I was the same as always – but someone was standing a few feet away. A short girl, about my size: East Asian with long black hair. I waited and she slowly walked off, staring at me. When I could no longer see her in the mirror, I turned round. I thought I caught sight of her striding towards the Watershed Centre.

As if in a dream, she floated away from me, but I kept going after her. The Watershed’s heavy wooden doors were still open and I went in, running up the stairs towards the exhibition side. There were black-and-white close-up shots of wrinkled old skin and newborn babies, and I saw her at the end of the long corridor, examining the pictures. She moved up to the next freckled decrepit body part and I tagged along. I glanced around; save for the gruesome photos, it was just me and her in the light-blue corridor. I made eye contact, trying to gauge her intentions. She came very close to me.

‘I’m glad you followed me,’ she said quietly in French.

‘Are you Phuong’s daughter?’

There was no expression on her face.

‘Well, are you?’ I brought my face close to hers, but she didn’t budge. ‘Yes. I’m Mei.’ She looked as if she was about to shake my hand, but instead she scratched her head. ‘We need to talk. Let’s go somewhere loud.’

‘Where are we going?’

‘You’ll see in a minute,’ she said, her long, dark hair absorbing the light around us.

‘Look, I’m fed up with everybody telling me what to do. So tell me where or I’ll walk away.’

She turned to me and pretended to look at her watch.

‘I’m sorry, we can’t talk here. I’m just taking you to the busiest place I can think of: the food court at the top of the Galleries. I’ll explain everything there.’

‘Okay, but...’ I faltered. ’How long have you been following me?’

‘Just since this morning.’

I narrowed my eyes.

‘I was waiting by Hotel Blue,’ she continued, ‘in a small café.’

‘Did you have a blueberry muffin by any chance?’

Again, zero expression.

‘Never mind. Let’s go then.’

We walked back to Baldwin Street and as the cars rushed about like freed dodgems and we waited for the small red man to turn green, I felt as if I were on the edge of a precipice; with one wrong step, I would take a tumble that I would regret forever and ever and ever... Now would have been the time to tell Mei about Ely and his wooden statuette. This bunch wanted the naga so badly, I was sure she would follow me to the garden shop. And Mei, her mother and Kenneth Tann would all disappear and I could go back to normal. To boring normal. To lonely normal. To Dullsville, Arizona.

A car screeched to a halt in front of me and the zombies around us crossed the road, but my own feet were glued to the pavement. Mei nudged me and whispered, ‘So you coming or what?’

At that precise moment, I made up my mind to back away from the precipice and not to tell her anything about Ely. Not yet, anyway. I needed to hide him from them and keep him all to myself.

Like a couple of salmons swimming up a tumultuous river, we made our way up the hill to the Galleries. Mei offered me some money and asked me to get her a drink – black coffee, in this instance – while she found a table in the middle of the crowd, from where she could make sure we were ‘alone’. Okay, whatever you say, spy girl.

Five minutes later I was back with Mei’s coffee and plain tea for me. We were surrounded by tables, which were all occupied. The eating quarter was buzzing with more and more office people rushing out for lunch and the raindrops echoing loudly on the shabby, colourful glass roof.

‘Thank you,’ Mei said.

I nodded, practising my own neutral-expression technique.

‘I realize the recent… events are hard to accept.’ She stirred her coffee.

‘You can say that again.’ I cleared my throat.

‘Let me explain as clearly as I can what’s going on.’

‘Okay.’

’First of all, my mother has gone into hiding. She has managed to leave the country, although Tann is still looking for her. He doesn’t know I’m here yet and I’m doing my best for it to remain this way. You know that all he wants is the naga – and he very nearly did get it. My mother and I have been based in France for a while and we thought we had escaped Kenneth Tann once and for all, but one month ago we spotted him in our neighbourhood and we just packed up our stuff and came here. You have to understand that I’ve pretty much been running away from Tann, from country to country, ever since I can remember and even though I would never give up on protecting the naga, I’m tired of this situation. And so is my mother. She’s older and she doesn’t have the energy she used to. So instead of starting a new life somewhere and hoping that Kenneth Tann won’t find us, we decided we had to change the pattern. Besides, Tann himself is getting older. You see he used to have many connections.’

’He told me this morning that he works for a powerful organisation and they want the naga,’ I interrupted.

‘That’s bullshit! Don’t believe it. Tann does work for a criminal organisation, that’s true enough, and he used to be influential and in charge of important missions with several people under his command, but he’s the only one after the naga. He probably never even mentioned it to the organisation and now there’s just one person working with him.’

‘So you thought: now is the time to get rid of Kenneth Tann, and why don’t we use a random person to help us?’ I pointed at myself, frowning.

‘No, that’s not at all how it went!’ She shook her head. ‘You’re stuck in the middle of all this, but it is not due to randomness.’

‘But your mother picked me from the yellow pages – that’s as random as it gets! I mean she didn’t use a divining crystal!’ I hissed.

‘Crystal ball, bird’s entrails, yellow pages. Same-same.’

I felt like growling.

‘Anyway,’ Mei carried on, ‘whether you like it or not, you’re involved now. You may say you never wanted any part in this, but it’s happening. The naga chose you and my advice is, you’d better believe the weirdness. Kenneth Tann, the naga, me and everything that has seemed freaky lately… we’re not going anywhere. Don’t you know that things are not always as they seem.’

‘Your mother mentioned that.’

‘Yeah, people should be more aware of that.’ She sipped her coffee and looked around us. ‘My mother said the naga will come to you.’

‘How?’

‘It makes connections and you’ve been connected to us. I don’t know why, but when you get hold of the naga, you must protect it. Kenneth Tann will probably offer you money. He may have done so already.’ She leaned towards me and raised an eyebrow; I lowered my eyes towards my handbag where I had shoved Kenneth Tann’s unopened envelope.

‘If you accept the money… it will be like signing a pact with the devil. You’ll never get rid of him and something bad will happen to you sooner rather than later. And I’m not just saying that to scare you, I’m talking from personal experience.’ She drummed her black-painted nails on the table; they looked like shiny little animals trying to gallop away from her. ‘On the other hand,’ she continued, ‘if you give the naga back to where it belongs, to my family, you won’t get any money in return but you’ll be doing the right thing… And you should live longer too…’

‘I should live longer,’ I repeated. ‘That’s a bit vague, don’t you think?’

‘I don’t think so,’ she insisted. ‘I’m sure you have some questions. Ask me whatever you want and I’ll do my best to answer.’

Where to begin? I looked at the dregs of my tea, seeking inspiration. I wished I could have written a list, but there was no time for this.

‘First, what do you mean the naga will come to me? I understand it’s an inanimate object. You say it’s “magic” but how am I supposed to believe this? Does it fly around? Does it make its way through other people?’ I eyed her, trying to gauge her reaction.

‘Well, to express it in terms you will find more acceptable, it has properties that are not explained by modern science. It can move around by persuading people to pick it up and deposit it somewhere else. Sorry for insisting, but science can’t explain everything.’

I mulled this over for a few seconds. Maybe this was what had happened to Ely? He’d acted very embarrassed any time we had talked about the dragon statue, as if he was overwhelmed by something he didn’t understand.

‘If the naga comes to me, who do I contact and how? And in fact, even if you do remind me of Phuong, how do I know you’re her daughter and not one of Tann’s so-called associates?’

‘I thought you might ask about my identity.’ She handed an envelope. ‘This contains instructions detailing how to contact me and a copy of a letter from my father. He wrote it shortly before… disappearing. It will confirm my mother’s story. And here’s a recent photo of me and my mother.’ She got a purse out of her handbag and opened it to reveal a small photo. Phuong hadn’t managed to smile for the camera. On the contrary, Mei was all goofy smile and teeth.

‘What about Kenneth Tann? I need to know more about him. If I get hold of the naga and give it back to you, then what?’ I tapped my middle finger in quick succession on the table.

‘You must read my letter and follow my instructions. At the moment, Tann is weighing his options whether to try and find where my mother has escaped to or whether to keep an eye on you. His resources are stretched, so we have a bit more opportunity to act.’

‘What do you mean, “act”?’

‘I’m not sure yet. We just have to remain extra vigilant and keep looking for opportunities. Something is going to happen. But just to make sure you’re okay, I’ve asked one of my bodyguards to look after you.’

‘What?’ I gargled with tea going down the wrong way.

‘I’ve got two bodyguards. One of them is here at the moment, but you won’t be able to see him.’

‘Coz they’re invisible,’ I sneered.

She sighed and I didn’t bother to look around for her bodyguard.

‘This is insane,’ I said, looking her in the eyes.

Mei stared back hard at me. ‘Look, it’s all in the envelope,’ she snapped. She seized my hands and gave them a surprisingly strong squeeze, just as her mother had done in the Jazz Café. ‘You have to believe me. I mean, I can’t force you to do anything and I know we are complete strangers to you, but please, consider helping us.’

She released her grip and I stared at my hands.

‘I’m sorry. I’m being impatient,’ she said. ‘I forget that some things aren’t obvious to you. What could I do to convince you?’

‘You could tell me more about Tann.’

She ran her fingers through her long straight hair.

‘It would take too long for me to tell you all we know about Tann and there are other things I need to take care of now. But I will ask one of the twins to meet you today. He will tell you as much as he can. How about that?’

‘Okay,’ I nodded.

‘Now, I must go.’ Mei got up. ‘Please take the envelope and read what’s in it somewhere safe.’

I stood up in turn. She flashed me a big smile and gave me a peck on each cheek as if we’d been friends for years.

‘Goodbye, Annika. You look like someone’s hit you in the face with a baseball bat; please try and act natural. I have to go now, good luck with everything, we’re counting on you.’

On my way out of the shopping centre, people bumped into me and I felt as if I was trying to get out of a spinning tumble dryer. I walked down the hill towards the pedestrian section and sat down on an empty bench. The rain had stopped, turning the day beautiful and warm. It was early summer and if you paid attention, you could sense the promise of luscious fields and empty countryside just around the corner. Not far from my vantage point, a man and his moustache preached about the end of the world. He was very sombre about it and his voice carried far. The preacher came with two acolytes, whose job was to stare ahead unflinchingly while passers-by ignored or laughed at them. A small child threw an empty yoghurt pot at them. I turned my thoughts back to my predicament and opened Mei’s envelope. There were a few pages of handwritten text and a single typed page. I folded back the letter and flattened the instructions page on my lap.

How to contact me:

When you have the naga, log on to www.linguists-go-go.com. In the English into French section, I will post one question a day at random hours, using either of these two usernames: dg72 or ch578. Create a new account today with the username ‘blue moon’. You just need to answer my question with anything vaguely appropriate and I will know that you have the naga. One of my bodyguards will come to your house to collect it.

Bodyguards:

They are Australian twin brothers called Mullaloo and Kalaroo. They’ll be looking after you but you won’t see them until one of them comes to collect the naga.

Please learn the username and password now and destroy this note.

…

I was disappointed that the note didn’t self-destruct. I considered swallowing it, but that would have been plain stupid. Instead I tore it into the tiniest bits and threw them into the nearest bin.

Back in the bus and feeling the post-lunch blues about to hit, I reminded myself once again that we are all made of atoms and that nothing lasts forever. I plugged myself into my phone. ‘Amnesiac’ by Radiohead filled the space between my ears. Engine and music started together and we exited the town centre, with my paranoia in tow. I had made my decision; I had jumped onboard the Mei express.