Recrudescence

Where are the hallucinations when you need them?

Sonia stared at the offending item in front of her, willing it to change. But it didn’t.

What should I do now?

She looked at the mirror, but three other people looked back at her. Her friends were still there, less nosy and less noisy, but never totally gone. She accepted them as a detail in a bigger picture, she decided to ignore. Except this time, Istona’s smirk was too unnerving.

Huffing, she opened the drawer to hide the item when her husband entered the bathroom. Startled, she threw it inside and closed the drawer with a thunk.

“What's wrong?” he said, careful not to cause her to withdraw on herself.

After two years of marriage, he knew the early signs of a relapse, and that helped to prevent it several times. He hoped this time she wouldn't push him away.

“You know you can talk to me, right?” he went closer, trying to hug her. Physical contact always made her feel better, but this time, she went to the other side. She sat on the toilet and took her head between her hands, soft sobs escaping her lips.

“Hey, hey, what's wrong?” he crouched in front of her, taking her hands in his. “Talk to me,” He urged, his thumbs drawing circles on the back of her hands.

“I’m pregnant,” she said, eyes wide with fear.

As if saying it out loud made it more real, Sonia started to hyperventilate.

“I can't do this! Oh my god! I can't... I can't—”

“Shhh. It's ok! Just breathe. Look at me,” he said, lifting her head to meet his eyes. “Take a deep breath. Yes, just like that. Exhale. Good job. Stay with me. You'll be fine.” He repeated the same process until her breathing went back to normal.

“Are you ok now?”

Sonia nodded, not meeting his eyes.

“Are you sure about the result? Do you want to buy a pregnancy test?”

She opened an under sink drawer and pulled a handful of pregnancy test kits. She put them on the counter. Ten, Omar counted, raising his eyebrows.

“All positive,” she said, sighing.

He checked them one by one. The smile he'd fought to hide became a full grin.

“Oh, come on.” Sonia slammed the drawer shut and stormed out of the bathroom, pushing Omar away even though he wasn’t in her way. The brick wall didn't budge, it was her who staggered a little instead.

“Wait.”

Ignoring him, she headed to the bed, grumbling. Midway, a warm body pulled her in a tight hug. His face found its place at the crock of her neck like a matching puzzle piece. He inhaled her appealing scent,closing close his eyes in bliss.

“Don't be mad,” he said in a whisper.

“I'm scared. I can't do this,” she said, leaning into him.

His arms tightened around her, hands flat on her stomach. “You’re not alone. We'll go through it together.”

Sonia turned in his arms, looking at his shining eyes.

He was indeed excited about this.

“What if the medication affects the baby? What if he inherits my illness? what—” She gasped. “What if I fall in psychosis while I'm pregnant?”

She pressed her head against his chest, mumbling, “Oh, my god,” her voice muffled.

He hugged her even more, placing a soft kiss on the crown of her head.

“We’ll call your psychiatric tomorrow. I'm sure there's a way to do this. Don't panic. You're strong, remember? You’ve got this.”

They hugged for a moment in silence, then he said with contagious happiness, “You’re carrying my baby.”

“You’re truly happy about this, huh?” She said, a smile finding its way to her face.

“I'm over the moon,” he said cupping her face and showering her with kisses.

“I'm. Going. To be. A father.” he said between kisses.

Sonia's laughter filled the room like a flutter of butterflies.

She wriggled out of his embrace and run to the bed. Her strands swirling behind her as if reaching for him. She sat in the bed, covers up to her chin, still laughing.

She is perfect. I’m the luckiest man in the world.

Compelled, he turned off the lights and went to his side of the bed.

He pulled his world into his arms, and she snuggled into him.

“I love you.”

“I love you more.”

He smiled as memories danced before his eyes. His life with his mate never lost its spark. Through the ups and downs, their bond got stronger.

Sonia, now responsible of the pack's security team, took the established security system to a whole new level.

She proved herself to be a natural Luna.

He remembered the day he introduced her to the pack as his mate and Luna, everything was smooth, unlike when they informed them of Sonia’s illness. A murmur spread around the room, and voices rose questioning her ability to lead. Sonia stood strong, fighting for her position like a Luna should do. She was a woman with a mission. She explained her illness, her symptoms, her struggles and what she needed from the people around her.

What brought her to tears was when a teenage boy came to her after her speech, asking for help. He didn’t know until that moment that the voices in his head were an actual condition and it had a name. She was proud of him for taking this leap of faith. She knew first hand how difficult it was for a person with schizophrenia to accept his condition and to ask for help.

Omar and Sonia’s relationship didn’t revolve around schizophrenia. It was more.

Sonia was not her illness. She was a strong woman who wasn’t afraid to love and live, and fall and stand again.

💠💠💠💠💠💠💠💠💠💠

The end!

Mental illness is not a joke. It's an illness like any other. It's in the person's head, but that doesn't mean it's less real.

stay safe!