Practice Makes Perfect: A Novel

The ceremony is set to start in about ten minutes. I’ve never loved a dress more than the ones Amelia provided for us bridesmaids. It’s a mint-colored midi with a plunging V-shaped bodice and several layers of soft mesh overlay at the skirts, adding just a touch of princess whimsy. We’ve all been in James’s house for the last two hours getting ready—Noah and his groomsmen on one side and Amelia and us bridesmaids on the other. But we’ve been kept separated so we don’t accidentally get a peek at one another before the wedding.

I managed to slip out of the room we’ve been using as the bridal suite without Emily noticing, though, which feels like a real accomplishment. She’s been barking orders and making sure everyone is toeing the line all morning. Oh, Amelia has a wedding planner, but even that woman seems to be a little afraid of Emily and has stepped back more than once to let Emily run the show. No one is fiercer than an elementary school teacher when it’s time to get people in order and hold them to a schedule.

But I wanted a minute alone with Noah before the ceremony, so after tiptoeing away from Amelia and my sisters, I knock on James’s bedroom door, where I know Noah has been getting ready.

“Come in.”

Inside, I find Noah standing by the window, dressed in his tux and gazing out over the farm that has been turned into a magical wedding venue. I was here all morning with a few hired hands setting up flower arrangements, so I don’t need to look outside to know what Noah is seeing. Instead, I’m more interested in watching my big brother. I blink back tears, soaking in the sight of the man who’s carried our family from far too young an age, about to marry the woman of his dreams. He gets to walk through life with her now—share his happiness and his hurts. And no one deserves a happily ever after more than him. I wish my parents and my grandma could see him now. They’d be so incredibly proud of the man he’s become.

“Hi,” I say, moving to stand beside him at the window.

“Hey, you,” he says in a soft tone, reaching out to wrap his arm around my shoulder and pull me into a hug. Noah and I have always shared a special bond. Maybe it’s because he’s several years older than me so we never fought, or maybe it’s because he and I are both quiet souls, but I always feel comfortable with him. And he’s never called me Angel Annie, so that’s a plus.

“How is it you’re getting married today?” I ask him. “Just yesterday you were running through town in your Spider-Man underwear.”

“How do you know about that? You weren’t even alive yet when it happened. Dammit, is Mabel spreading that story out there today?”

“All morning,” I say looking up at him with a bright smile.

He groans and stares up at the ceiling.

I pat his chest. “Are you nervous?”

He tilts his face back down and frowns. “Hell, no. I’m ready to get it done. Seal the deal and be married to that woman already.”

“Good. No cold feet? Because I could pull the truck around if you need a quick escape.”

“Only if Amelia is escaping with me.”

I smile—so happy to see my brother like this. My heart tries to squeeze when I think about the man who’s missing from this day, but I don’t let it.

Just as expected, there’ve been no signs of Will today. Not even a text message or a letter or a sign in the sand. He just vanished, and a huge part of me is let down. I didn’t expect him to stick around or anything—but I did anticipate him at least hugging me goodbye. Telling me that I mean something to him, even if it’s just friendship. I went after him once when he pulled away—twice would just look desperate. If this is his choice, I have to let him go.

“I’m sorry he left,” Noah says suddenly—apparently reading the expression that I wrongly thought I was keeping very neutral. “I heard he checked out of Mabel’s this morning.”

Oh.

I hadn’t heard that. So I guess it is official. He really did leave.

I wave like, eh, no big deal! “He was always supposed to go.” I give a big fake smile. “He’s not built for settling down. But we had fun while he was here.” Oof this hurts. Being fake happy. Being fake positive.

Noah chuckles. “Bullshit, Annie. Don’t try to feed me any of that garbage. You miss him like hell, and you’re mad he left.”

“I don’t have any right to be mad. He was up front about how he felt from the beginning.” I can, however, be mad that he left without saying goodbye.

He gives me a sad sort of smile. “The problem is, you’re trying to rationalize your feelings. I have bad news for you, the heart wants what it wants, and there’s no talking it out of it.”

“You sound like a fortune cookie.”

Noah won’t be quipped out of this conversation, though. “Did you ask him to stay?”

“Would you have asked Amelia to stay if she was determined to leave?”

He ticks his head to the side. “Good point.”

“I just couldn’t do it, Noah. I couldn’t ask him to change his life for me. He would have ended up resenting me.”

He turns to face me. “Believe me, I get where you’re coming from. But hear me out. What if he was waiting for an invitation to stay?”

No…that’s not…he wouldn’t have…Surely, he knew…

Oh no.

We’re interrupted by a small knock on the door, followed by its opening creak. Amelia peeks her head inside. “Noah, can I come in—Oh, Annie! Sorry, I didn’t know you were in here!”

I laugh and step back from Noah. “Are you kidding? It’s your wedding day. You get to do what you want!”

She opens the door and slips through quickly, like there’s a monster outside about to gobble her up. “If Emily sees me coming in here she’s going to go berserk,” she says, closing the door silently behind her. When she turns forward again, I watch my brother’s face melt into something so tender I want to clutch my heart.

He breathes out in a rush as his eyes drop to take in her vintage-inspired wedding gown. It’s made of delicate white lace and is fitted to her every curve. Loose cap sleeves of fine sheer lace cover her shoulders, and the neckline dips into a steep V. In the back, the dress flows out to the smallest suggestion of a train. It’s a simple yet stunning gown that is the perfect contrast to Amelia’s dark eyes and loosely waved hair, swept back on one side by a pearl-studded hair clip.

“Amelia,” my brother whispers reverently as she crosses to him. “You’re so, so beautiful.”

She smiles. “Thank you. I know we’re not supposed to see each other before the ceremony, but…” She breaks off as she approaches Noah and he takes her hand, lifting it above her head to spin her around and admire her from every angle. And then he pulls her into his chest and engulfs her in his arms. “I just needed to see you first. And my wedding planner keeps throwing tasks at me, and I love your sister, but I’m seconds from murdering Emily because she seems to be trying to one-up the wedding planner in her bossiness and—”

Noah captures Amelia’s lips, showing no reverence at all for her makeup. And that’s when I turn away and quietly leave the room—giving them the moment alone they need.

Unfortunately, seeing them like that does nothing to ease the pain in my heart. How am I going to move on from Will? How am I ever going to be held by another man and not wish the entire time that it was Will?

And the strange part is, I still think marriage is a wonderful idea and something I’d like to have one day—but I’m now seeing that it was the wrong thing to be placing on a pedestal of ultimate happiness. I was looking for the perfect person with the perfect traits and the perfect timing, when really, all my heart actually wants is to be fully known and loved. Someone to share the quiet moments with—someone to turn to when everything is good or everything is bad. Someone who wouldn’t be mad if I snuck in to see him before the wedding and ruined traditions—but who’d be just as eager to be with me as I’d be with him. Someone like…Will.

The details were never as important as I thought they were.

In the hall, I’m not looking where I’m walking and run smack into a man. “Oof! Sorry.”

“Oh, sorry Annie. Wow, you look so pretty,” says James, admiring my light blue silk bridesmaid’s dress.

“And you look very dapper.” I return his compliment with ease even though I feel like shards of glass are pumping through my heart. I just want to get through this day and move on.

“Hey,” he says suddenly, the look on his face changing. I’m afraid he’s going to prod me with questions about Will just like everyone else, but he shocks me by going in a completely unexpected direction. “Is it true about Maddie? Is she moving to New York for culinary school?”

“Oh yeah, it’s true. Can you believe it? We’re going to have to be without her for two years.” I laugh lightly. “Then again, that will probably feel like a break for you because you won’t have to deal with her constant badgering anymore.”

I expect him to laugh with me. He doesn’t. He looks oddly troubled as he gazes blankly at the stairs that lead up to the bridal suite.

“Yeah. It’ll be nice.” He clears his throat. “Anyway. I’ll see you out there.” He winks and lightly squeezes my elbow as he passes. I watch him go, wondering if James has a secret too. Maybe I don’t know him as well as I think I do.

—

We’re all lined up in our places after having just walked down the aisle and are desperately trying to choke back tears as Noah escorts Mabel to her seat. The seat of honor where the groom’s parents would usually be seated. Sniffles sound all around the audience as he kisses Mabel’s cheek and whispers something in her ear before taking his place at the front of the aisle.

Noah casts one meaningful glance at each of us sisters, silently telling us how much he loves us. I’m a wreck. Holding in a sob has never been so painful. And then the music shifts, and the audience turns to look over their shoulders and Noah’s expression guts me. His eyes lock on Amelia walking down the aisle, holding her bouquet of white, green, and pink flowers, her long veil trailing elegantly behind her. She sees him and smiles softly, her eyes misting over and her chest expanding with a deep breath. When she reaches Noah, he takes two steps forward to take her hand, like he couldn’t even wait that long to touch her. It’s only then that she releases the breath she took.

They stand together, gazing intently into each other’s eyes as the officiant begins the ceremony and looking for all the world like they’ve found their paradise.

My eyes stray from my brother and Amelia to the sight beyond them. James is standing behind Noah, his pained gaze fixed heavily on a place just over my shoulder. Maddie. I steal one discreet look back, and find her smiling fondly at Noah and Amelia, none the wiser that a man is staring at her like every second she’s not in his arms is torture.

I know that look.

And I can’t help but mirror it as my eyes search the audience, acutely feeling the loss of the one person I love more than anything in this world.

—

The wedding was breathtaking. Romantic and tender; and even if I do say so myself, the flowers were stunning. Yeah, Amelia, you were a goddess, but let’s face it—everyone is going to be talking about the flowers for years to come.

And now Noah and Amelia are slow dancing in the middle of the dance floor to “The Way You Look Tonight,” the moon and twinkly string lights over their heads, swaying with their bodies so close it almost feels inappropriate to watch.

Also a little painful to watch, if I’m being honest, because it reminds me of dancing with…ugh, not thinking about him again.

I stand up from my seat at the reception table and grab my high heels from the ground, where I discarded them two hours ago when my sisters pulled me onto the dance floor with them. Everything is starting to wind down, and Amelia and Noah will leave for their honeymoon soon. The general atmosphere is relief. It’s over. The wedding is complete, Amelia and Noah are happily married, and everything can start slowing down and getting back to normal.

I tell Emily and Maddie that I’m going to get a drink refill, and I’ll be right back, but as I approach the bar, I’m hit with a fresh wave of sadness when I spot Amelia’s new bodyguard standing at attention off to the side of the reception. Suddenly I don’t want to stick around any longer—and Amelia and Noah have been so wrapped up in each other the whole night they won’t even notice whether I’m here for their send-off or not. So I set my glass down and then head for the parking lot, leaving the sound of Frank Sinatra and quiet murmurs behind me.

It almost feels wrong to get into my old truck dressed so elegantly. And yet somehow it’s exactly right. There are a lot of things that I’ve realized have changed about me, but loving this town and this truck aren’t among them.

But when I put my hand on the truck’s door handle, a familiar playful and roguish voice sounds in my ear, and a hand with a butterfly tattoo reaches over my shoulder to push my door closed again. “It’s me, and you’re safe. I’m going to blindfold you now.” A thin strip of black cloth blankets my eyes.

I gasp. “Will?! What are you doing?”

“Yes, it’s me, Will,” he says quietly and then clears his throat and speaks more firmly—theatrically—and definitely with more baritone. “But also—no, I’m not Will.”

My heart is joyfully pounding. It’s singing and running and skipping and I don’t even know what’s happening. I thought he was gone!

“My name is Captain Blackheart,” he says before hoisting me up over his shoulder, making me squeal. “And you, my lady, are being kidnapped.”