Of Light And Shadows

Everything was white. There was no up or down. No left or right. There was no horizon, no break or chink the endless, monotonous nowhere. Jia couldn't move or speak. She wasn't even sure she had a body anymore.

Was this all she had to look forward to now? This mind bending emptiness that was nowhere and everywhere all at once? She couldn't smell anything, nor could she hear. There was no breeze, no cold or warm. She was desensitised completely and it left her feeling unhinged.

Seconds could have been hours or years or no time at all. Millenia could be passing in the world she'd come from and it wouldn't matter. She just waited, for what? She didn't know. Could a person wait in a place where there was no time?

The Endless was unchanging, unwavering, unvaried and unsettling. She knew it wasn't an afterlife. It wasn't what waited at the end. For people killed by the dagger, there truly was nothing. This was what awaited them, their own empty version of this.

Hopelessness pervaded whatever she was now, seeping into every bit of her that was left until it was all she could feel. Hopeless at the loss of her life. Hopeless at the loss of her love. Her mother, her friends, her home, her magic. All gone. It was agonising.

"Jia." The voice came so suddenly that if she'd had a body, she would've flinched. She recognised that voice somehow. A memory, perhaps? How long had she been trapped in the Endless? Were memories even important anymore?

"You can overcome, Nephilim. My will for you is not this. Overcome, Jia Morningstar."

God. The voice belonged to God. The memory of the deity bringing out her true form, burning the impurities from her soul left there by Abaddon and bringing her into the world as something entirely knew just with a touch of their hand, it made her feel strange.

She had no hands, but she felt her fingers twitch.

One memory brought another, and then another and another until her head was brimming with the faces of all of those she loved and missed.

The heart she didn't have began to ache.

Beautiful crimson eyes, tears that weren't hers, a voice begging her to stay, to come back, to not leave him alone.

Cheeks that had turned to dust suddenly felt wet.

Everything hurt. Jia felt her ribs creak as her lungs inflated. Her face throbbed from the beatings she'd taken. Her legs and arms ached from exertion. Her back burned like it was on fire. Everything felt bruised, but everything felt.

She was alive.

Her eyes fluttered open to find Lucifer staring at her in shock, his red eyes bloodshot with tears. Lauviah was crying into Michael's shoulder, all of them surrounding her where she lay in Lucifer's arms.

"Hi," she rasped. He reached out to touch her face as though he thought she weren't real, and when he realised she was real and warm and alive he kissed her.

Even when he let her lips go he peppered her face with butterfly kisses before cradling her against him, fresh tears pouring down his face.

Her mother was next, placing a kiss of her own on Jia's forehead before folding her into a tight hug and sobbing into her hair.

"I thought I'd lost you, baby," she sniffled. "Don't ever scare me like that again."

"You died," Michael said quietly. "You mummified like Satan. Your body started to become dust and then it just...stopped. How? That dagger kills everything it touches." Jia smiled.

"I overcame." Michael frowned, not understanding her answer. It didn't matter. She understood it. She knew what God's will for her was, why they'd allowed her to return to her body and her life.

"I love you," Lucifer whispered, pressing another tender kiss to her lips. "Don't ever try to protect me like that again."

"No promises," she chuckled. Lucifer helped her to sit up gingerly. "Will Satan come back?"

"No. I made sure to obliterate his essence as well as killing his body. He's gone."

"Thank God," she sighed, closing her eyes. "We should go home. We still have work to do." They hobbled out of the prison together, heading back to the winged horses waiting to take them away from the city ruins. Jia's eyes widened in delight at the sight of them, especially when Obsidian nosed her gently.

"They're beautiful," she gasped. "Are we really flying on them?"

"We are." Lucifer smiled but there was a tightness around his eyes. "You were right about us having more work to do. Sellik is alive, barely."

"Satan didn't kill her?" Jia asked, hope springing up in her chest.

"No, but he tried to. We don't have a healer in the academy that can help her. Mammon has been keeping her alive through a pact mark while we've been away."

"You want me to help her?"

"You may be the only one who can." He helped her onto Obsidian's back and settled himself behind her, nudging the horse's sides to encourage him into a trot. "Healer demons are incredibly rare. Sellik is the only one I know of. The fallen can heal themselves but not others. Angels have healing powers but they don't work on demons."

"And you think me being a mix of the two will mean I can help her?"

"I'm hoping so."

"I can only try." Lucifer kissed her cheek from behind gently before encouraging Obsidian to take off, the small group soaring into the air in unison.

Jia nodded off as they made their way back towards the Angelic city, too exhausted from her brush with death to stare at the lush scenery passing by.

By the time she woke up, they were landing and Lucifer was taking her gently down from Obsidian's back. Jia stretched her aching limbs and watched as her mate stroked his mount with a heartbroken look on his face.

"Seeing you again was something I never thought I'd get to do," he said to the horse. Jia watched in shock as it seemed to understand him. "Thank you for saving my mate with me, Sid. I hope it won't be millennia before we meet again."

"It won't," Michael replied. "I have a feeling things are going to change drastically around here. Separating the realms doesn't work anymore."

"We can think about that later," Lauviah said, taking Jia's hand. "For now we need to get back to your friend."

Michael rolled his shoulders and set about creating a portal again, visibly grimacing at the effort it took while he was still injured. Despite his discomfort, there was a glowing doorway into the demonic realm appearing before them.

Jia stepped through it and saw she was in Lucifer's study. She wasted no time in bolting to the infirmary, running through the aches and pains in her desperation to reach Sellik and help her.

She almost fell down the curving staircases as she descended to the medical wing and skidded round corners, her shoes squeaking on the polished floors. The journey felt three times longer than it should be, but eventually she burst through the doors, almost collapsing in a panting heap beside the unconscious demon.

Evander and Mammon looked up, both of them surprised to see Jia. Mammon's face was drawn and sallow, clearly showing just how much energy it was taking to keep Sellik breathing.

"Let me try," Jia managed to say between breaths. Evander got out of his chair to let her sit, none of them focussed on greeting her while Sellik was still in danger.

Jia took in the sight of the beautiful medical attendant laying still and silent in a hospital bed, her body littered with half healed cuts and yellowing bruises. Her vibrant green skin was pale and washed out. She was cold to touch as Jia took her hand.

She thought of that word again; overcome. That was her purpose. To overcome what was thrown at her, to grow and change and adapt to whatever God needed from her. She would help the realms to do the same, to reconnect and live alongside one another.

This was something she could overcome as well. She took a deep, steadying breath and closed her eyes, reaching down inside herself for the Inner Light she'd been blessed with. It responded with eagerness, ready to be used for what it was meant for at last.

Sellik's skin glowed as Jia's light spread through her, healing and mending everything it touched. Wounds closed, bruises faded, torn muscle and sinew knitted back together and blood flowed only in places it was supposed to.

Jia was a healer. God's healer.

Sellik opened her eyes and sat up, looking around in confusion as everyone gasped and tears began to spill. Evander startled her by taking her face in his hands and kissing her with such intensity that Jia had to look away.

One by one, everyone greeted Sellik with tenderness and love. Her smile widened with each hug and kind word, until Lucifer was standing in front of her. Instead of speaking he folded her into a tight embrace.

"I will never ignore your medical advice again," he vowed. Sellik laughed, tears welling up in her eyes.

"I'll hold you to that," she sniffed, and then her eyes landed on Jia and Lucifer stepped back. Sellik took her hands, holding them tightly. "Thank you. I thought I was dead for sure."

"It wasn't your time," Jia smiled. "And you've fixed me up so many times in my life that I owed you something in return."

"I think this makes us even," Sellik laughed, pulling Jia into a hug. She saw Evander watching them over Sellik's shoulder and smiled at him.

"I think we should leave Evan and Sellik alone for a while. It seems like they have things to talk about," she said pointedly. The others nodded and retreated from the medical bay to give them privacy.

"Hi, shortstack," Mammon said into her ear as he hugged her tightly enough to lift her off the ground. "I thought you were dead. The pact mark we have faded almost to nothing."

"No, just changed."

"Changed how?" Mammon stepped back to look at her.

"She's the Hand of God," Michael said, incredulity colouring his tone as he realised just how special she was. "That's how you're still alive."

"I think so," she agreed. She turned to look at the two Angels and Mammon, then her eyes fell on Lucifer. "I wasn't told exactly what I am, or exactly what I'm meant for, but I can feel it. I'm here for more than just healing others. I think I'm here to join the realms again."

Lucifer stepped closer, laying his hands on her waist as he looked down at her with pride. He was still the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen, even beaten and bruised. He bent his head to plant a soft kiss on her lips. When he pulled back he was smiling.

"Well then, Hand of God. We'd better get to work."