Nevermore (Crossbreed Series Book 6)

With General giving his word that he would temporarily back off, I let Switch off the hook and told him to drop me off and go back to his life. It wasn’t fair putting his job in jeopardy, especially since he was still in the process of rebuilding his reputation. When we arrived at the trailer, Crush was sitting outside, barking orders at Wizard about staying away from his garage. Wizard had his eye on repairing something, and my father felt the situation spiraling out of control.

Well, at least I wouldn’t have to worry about my father’s place igniting into an inferno because of faulty wires and outdated systems. Wizard had not only checked the plumbing and fixed a leak, but when I was on my way out again, he was fixing a broken step on the porch while Crush “supervised” comfortably from a lawn chair.

I needed to settle business with Lenore and consider alternative options in case the auction fell through, but after my intimate discussion with Crush the night before, I couldn’t stop thinking about Christian.

So I sent him a text message and asked if he wanted to meet me at a fast-food place. We needed neutral ground with no distractions, no alcohol, and especially no prying ears. Since the place wasn’t busy, I chose a booth by the window, wondering if the giant hamburger decal on the window would bring his attention to where I was sitting. I ordered lunch and gave zero fucks about him seeing me with a ketchup stain on my shirt.

Christian entered the restaurant and crossed the room with an easy stride. He looked nice in a pair of dark jeans and a brown Henley, the sleeves slightly pushed up.

When he reached the table, he sat across from me. “So, who’s the drummer?”

I refused to begin this meeting with a conversation about my used shirt. We’d left too many things unsaid, and I grappled with where to begin.

He stared at the onion rings on my napkin, and suddenly I wished I had ordered fries instead. I hated how delicious he looked—how absolutely, devastatingly handsome. Christian’s eyes glimmered like onyx beneath moonlight. Tiny water droplets clung to his shirt from the mist falling outside, and a few of them glistened in his dark beard.

It pained me to look at Christian when I had that memory of him and Lenore fresh in my mind.

He folded his arms across the table and initiated the conversation. “Lenore and I know each other from long ago.”

I swallowed my bite, dumbstruck by his admission. “What? You know her?”

He scratched his jaw. “I offered her my heart, and she put me in a coffin.”

I sat back when it dawned on me that this wasn’t just any old fling. “That’s the woman? Lenore Parrish is the one you never got over? The one you pine over? The one—”

“Jaysus. I don’t pine over the woman. We have a history together.”

Was I ready to hear this? I shoved the napkin of onion rings to the left to clear the space between us. “How long were you together?”

“Too long. And we weren’t together.”

“Didn’t look like that to me.”

“I was infatuated with Lenore, to be sure. But we were never…” Christian searched the room before lowering his voice. “We were never intimate.”

“You want me to believe that you never slept with Lenore the Whore?”

His lips twitched. “You have a way with words.”

“What I saw last night wasn’t my imagination. The way you were with each other was familiar and intimate. Did you drink her blood?”

“Aye.” Then he reached across the table to grab my arm. “Not last night. But years ago I did. She always kept the sex from me, only letting me touch her when I fed. It was as close to her as she would allow, so I did it often. I couldn’t get enough of her.”

“Sounds like an addiction.”

He looked down at the table. “In some ways it was. Vampire blood is powerful. You know that to be true, and it’s one reason I never wanted you to drink from me. I mean, I want it. But I’m also afraid of what too much of it might do. Lenore’s an ancient, and her blood is far richer and more powerful than mine. I was bewitched by her.”

“Was?” I sighed, choosing my words carefully. “I asked you here to talk about us, but now that I know last night wasn’t just an impulsive fling, it’s giving me second thoughts. I can see she has an effect on you. And maybe…”

Christian couldn’t look me in the eye.

“Maybe the real power she has over you isn’t her blood. Maybe it’s something as simple as the fact that you two never slept together. She’s the forbidden fruit that you never got to taste. I was ready to fight for you, Christian. But I don’t think I can fight a ghost. Especially not one that you love.”

His eyes flicked up. “And what about your shaggy-haired friend?”

“What about him?”

“Why did you parade him around at the party, knowing I’d be there? Do you know how hard it was not to destroy every statue, every painting, and every pillar in that mansion when you left with him? I just wanted to take you in my arms and make it right again.”

“But you didn’t. You went into another woman’s arms, and I rode off into the sunset with someone else.” I leaned forward and sipped my drink through the straw. “I told Crush that you saved me in the fire.”

Christian arched an eyebrow. “What did he say?”

“That you can have my hand in marriage.”

“Don’t be tellin’ me fibs.”

I chuckled. “He appreciates it. I’m sure you can imagine. Crush had a right to know what part you played in my past, even if I don’t know what role you’ll play in my future.”

“When I say that last night wasn’t what it seemed, I want to laugh. She took advantage of a momentary weakness, but I had no intention of bedding her. The woman threw herself at me.”

“I guess you’re used to that by now.”

He cocked his head to the side. “Are you sure you don’t have impalement wood under the table?”

“Maybe.”

“That’s the Raven I know.”

“Why didn’t you drink from her?”

He stroked his beard, elbow on the table. “There was a moment when I heard the call. You must know what that temptation feels like. But even if you hadn’t come in, it wouldn’t have gone that far.”

I believed him. Despite what I’d seen with my own eyes, things weren’t always what they seemed. What conclusions would Christian have drawn if he’d walked in on Switch and me standing naked in the hallway this morning? Switch had leaned in for a kiss, and I’d entertained the thought.

But I hadn’t gone through with it.

And neither had Christian.

Now that I could look into his eyes, my heart knew the truth. Christian was a terrible liar when it came to his feelings, and his gaze was sincere. But even knowing that, I still had reservations. Lenore held a power over him that I would never understand. One rooted in desire, blood, and perhaps years of companionship.

“You said she put you in a coffin? Do you mean that time you were buried for a decade?”

“Aye, the very one.”

“Why did she do it?”

He shook his head. “I’m afraid I can’t tell you my darkest secrets at Burger King.”

I pulled my necklace out from beneath my shirt. “Did you buy this for her?”

Christian lowered his gaze.

Houdini was right all along. And why did that come as a surprise? What else would a man be doing with such a treasure? Had she given it back? Why had he held on to it for all these years instead of selling it? Had he given it to me just to get rid of it?

I reached across the table and held his hand. The familiarity of his touch felt so good that I bowed my head and disappeared in that connection. He lifted two fingers and stroked my palm. We never held hands. Besides the fact that Christian wasn’t a demonstrative person, we’d never had the opportunity to hit pause and partake in the tender moments that other couples took for granted.

My heart ached.

And yet that empty feeling I’d carried for the past few weeks vanished. I felt whole with Christian, like we were two halves that belonged together. I’d never experienced this with anyone. Had he? Was this how he felt with Lenore?

I broke our connection and held eye contact. “I love you, Christian. I probably shouldn’t tell you that at Burger King, a day after I caught you half-naked with another woman. But there it is. I can’t explain it, and I can’t ignore it. Even with the deception and separating me from my father, that feeling won’t go away. But I need to be able to trust you again. I need all the cards on the table, or we won’t be able to stay in this partnership. And not just us, but with Keystone. You gave me a second chance at life, so maybe you deserve one in return.”

“And what does that mean?”

“It means I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt. About my father, about last night, about everything. So I have an offer.”

Christian turned the onyx ring on his finger. “And what’ll you have me do?”

“Don’t answer me here. Not with the smell of onion rings heavy in the air. I want us to be open about our relationship. I want us to be… exclusive. No hiding, no lying, and no pulling away when someone walks by. That means we have to tell Viktor.”

“If he makes us leave, he’ll order a memory wipe. It’ll be all for naught.”

“Maybe. But what if he doesn’t? What if we can still work for Keystone, or what if he simply lets us go with our memories intact?”

Christian wadded up a napkin, his lips peeling back. “Why would you take such a foolish risk?”

“Love doesn’t come without risk or sacrifice. Keeping this a secret is the easy way, but it’s not the right way. There’s a shot we can stay, but only if we come clean before he finds out on his own. Viktor runs his house like a pack, and he’ll respect us more if we’re honest with him. But if he catches us lying, you can bet we won’t have that chance.”

“And if I don’t want a serious relationship?”

I folded my arms. “Then I still want to be your partner. It’s not the ideal situation, but I’m being pulled in two different directions. I know what my heart feels, and I’m ready for whatever scary thing is next. So now it’s your turn to make a decision. Simple as that. I need to know where you stand so that I know how to move on with the rest of my life.”

Elbows on the table, he raked his hair from back to front. “That’s a hell of a thing to dump on a man first thing in the morning.”

“It’s almost noon. Do you want some chicken fingers?”

He shot me a baleful look, but deep down, I saw my adorable Poe. “I thought you called me here to break it off.”

“I’m not a predictable girl.”

“Do you mind telling me what business you have with Lenore?”

I glanced out the window. “Another time. I don’t want to inundate you with details. Isn’t this conversation heavy enough?”

“Are you in some kind of trouble?”

I wanted to protect Christian. He’d come so close to giving away every penny of his money at Houdini’s auction on the black market not long ago, and I refused to let him get entwined in another financial fiasco that could leave him destitute. I also didn’t want to put him in a situation where he’d turn me away. We hadn’t exactly ironed out our future plans, and dumping something like this on him might change his mind about the offer I’d just proposed.

I stood up and dusted the salt off my hands. “All I want is an authentic love. It doesn’t have to be conventional, and we can make up our own rules as we go along. But it can’t be a dirty secret. I love you, Christian Poe. I never thought I’d be in this situation, especially not with you. But no matter what happens—no matter what you decide—you’ll never wonder about that one thing. What we have is messy and complicated, but it’s ours. When you give me your answer, just make sure it’s what you want.”

Walking away was the hardest thing I’d done in a long time, but if I’d dared hug him, I would have never let go.

Even if he was the one ready to.