Nevermore (Crossbreed Series Book 6)

Before telling Crush everything he was dying to know about my past, I gathered my thoughts and released a plaintive sigh. This moment would forever change how he looked at me, how he thought of me, and maybe worst of all, how much or little he would love me.

With my hands curled against my chest, I kept my eyes low. “The night I went missing, I met a Vampire in a bar. I had too much to drink, and he had too many nice things to say. We connected. Sometimes you meet people in life and can’t explain why there’s this instant bond you have, like you’ve known them all your life. It felt easy to talk to him, and he didn’t make me feel silly about any of the wild ideas I had about life. He steered the conversation toward immortals and magic, making it seem plausible. To be honest, it sounded more believable than the idea of aliens. It was a conversation about evolution of the species. Anyhow, after a long talk, he told me he was a Vampire. I didn’t believe him at first, but he showed me things I couldn’t deny. The idea of it…”

“Seduced you,” he offered. Crush gave me a knowing look. “Immortality does that to men. It’s a temptress.”

“So why didn’t you ever seek it?”

He patted my leg. “This conversation isn’t about me.”

I scratched an itch beneath my jaw. The beginning was easy, but working up to the rest was a bitch. “My maker staged my death, but I’m not entirely sure why. I wound up in a morgue, and the man working there was a Mage. Since I was newly turned, the Vampire blood hadn’t quite taken complete hold. I was too weak to move and scared my maker wouldn’t come back for me. The thoughts that ran through my head about autopsies,” I said, shaking my head. “Anyhow, the Mage put his light in me to see what might happen. For reasons neither of us can explain, it also took hold. So that’s how I was born a crossbreed.”

“I don’t see how that’s possible,” he muttered.

“We’re talking about immortals and DNA we don’t fully understand, especially when their blood and light mixes with our own. Maybe my maker didn’t give me quite enough of his blood—just enough to turn me but not enough to inherit all the usual Vampire traits. I see better than most in the dark, but not like a Vampire. I can’t shadow walk, I don’t have sonic hearing, and obviously I don’t look like them. But I have fangs, and when I drink blood from a Vampire, I’m strong.”

His eyes narrowed. “How the hell do you know that?”

“I know I shouldn’t drink from Vampires, but I’ve been on my own for a long time. Let’s move past all that.”

His shoulders relaxed. “Go on.”

I swallowed, my throat suddenly dry. “Fletcher was my Creator’s name.”

“Fletcher Black.” Crush let the name roll around on his tongue. He obviously guessed I’d taken my surname from my Creator.

“Fletcher had a light addiction. But he didn’t just want to juice me—he wanted to break me. Juicers who go after people on the streets are always taking chances. They could fail miserably, get caught, or accidentally kill someone. Fletcher wanted a victim at his beck and call. His goal was to get me to a place where I would willingly give him my light so he wouldn’t have to keep me in chains.”

Crush’s lips peeled back, and his blue eyes blazed. “In chains?”

My lip quivered. “I need a drink.”

When he saw me pulling my feet away, he sat on them and anchored his arms around my legs. “No, Cookie. You’re gonna do this sober. Facing your pain is the only way you’ll ever win the battle. Take it from an old man who’s been to war.”

A tear slipped down my cheek, and I angrily wiped it away. “I hate him for making me feel this way. I hate him for making me weak.” After a shaky breath, I closed my eyes, unable to look at my father anymore. I couldn’t bring myself to tell him every sordid detail about the abuse. He got the gist, and that was enough. “Fletcher was a cruel bastard. He’s no stranger to physical abuse, but he’s also a smart man. He knows how to find someone’s weakness, and he knows how to bring a person to their breaking point. I later met a woman he did it to, one who wasn’t in chains anymore but a consenting servant. He brainwashed her in the process, not only making her afraid of him but afraid of her own freedom.”

“Is this when he got you the second time?”

Christian must have told him all about our botched attempt to capture a Vampire trafficker. I didn’t want to detour this long-overdue discussion, so I continued. “After escaping Fletcher, I lived on the streets. I didn’t have anyone to take me in, and I sure as hell couldn’t come home. I was afraid Fletcher would find me, and that meant he would have found you. I was afraid the Mageri would execute me since I was a rogue. Anyway, I had a lot of time to think about how I screwed up our relationship. You and I didn’t talk much in the later years after I moved out, even when I wanted to.”

“How did you eat without a job?”

“I don’t have to eat as much as others, but I scavenged. Since I’m part Vampire, some of that trait passed down. Having a knot in my belly made me appreciate how hard you worked all those years to keep a steady job and put a roof over my head. You always made sure I had something to eat. Granted, fried chicken and barbecue isn’t exactly a diet recommended by the FDA, but I never went hungry.” I rested my head against the sofa. “I used to think this trailer and this life was a place I had to distance myself from, mostly because I was afraid it was gonna be my future too. But you know what? It’s home. Making money and living the good life is overrated. I’ve seen the corruption. I still think you need to burn that chair of yours in a firepit, but you have a homestead filled with good memories. It doesn’t have to be big or fancy, and I know that now because I live in a big-ass house that’s lonely as hell.”

“How long are you gonna carry around that guilt? I was a drunk. Have you forgotten that part? I did a lot of irresponsible, stupid shit that I can’t take back. You grew up faster than you needed to, and any embarrassment you carried for your life was my fault. I wasn’t the father you deserved, but what’s done is done. Is that why you came back?”

“I found receipts for a trailer beneath Christian’s bed. You both lied to me. You’re the one who taught me that people who love each other don’t keep secrets that might destroy them. If Christian wants to lie about my cooking or how my breath smells in the morning, that’s not a problem. But keeping my father from me? I almost spent my whole life without ever seeing you again.” I nudged him angrily with my foot. “Why didn’t you want to see me?”

“Maybe I wanted you to get on with your life, because someday you’re gonna have to lose me. Better to get it over with sooner than later.”

“That’s a stupid reason.”

“Or maybe I didn’t want you to spend the rest of your life on the sofa watching reruns of The X-Files.” He leaned forward and dropped his head on my knee. “I want to kill that motherfucker for what he did to you.”

I flattened my hand over his salt-and-pepper hair. “That’s why I’m here. Fletcher’s out there somewhere, and I’ve ruined his life. It’s only a matter of time before he comes back for me, and I’m afraid he’ll find you first. Come live with us at the mansion. Just until we catch him.”

Crush lifted his head and locked those steely eyes on mine. “If there’s even a sliver of a chance that the son of a bitch who hurt my little girl is going to show up on my doorstep, then I’m not moving a damn inch. Mage or not, I’ll put a hurt on him in ways he’s never imagined. I’ve got a stunner.”

I wiped my lashes and gave him a reproachful look. “You can’t blow off this threat like it’s nothing.”

“And you think you’re gonna stay here and protect me? Life goes on. I’ve made enough enemies on my own. So now that we’ve settled that, what else are you running from?” Crush sat back and tugged on his goatee. “Is it that fanghole you’re partnered up with?”

“You mean the one who saved your life?”

Crush hacked out a laugh that morphed into a coughing fit. “He put me in a luxury double-wide and bought a shitload of expensive steak. Now I know what it feels like to be a kept woman.”

“It’s not funny. He hid the truth from me. He robbed me of the chance to ever see you again, and it was only by luck I found out. How am I ever supposed to trust him again if he won’t even admit that what he did was wrong?”

Crush studied me real hard while rubbing the back of his neck. “I can’t say it comes as a surprise. He wouldn’t have done all that if he didn’t feel something for you. I just didn’t know you felt something back.”

I tucked my hair behind my ears. “It’s complicated. We have to keep it a secret. Viktor has a rule about partners, but that goes without saying.”

Crush drew in a deep breath. “So let me get this straight. You two have been seeing each other in secret all this time?”

“Not the whole time. Everything happened after the Fletcher abduction. We had feelings for each other before, but… it’s a mess. I was ready to go public with my feelings for Christian. Keystone means everything, but I can’t hide this shit. I hate that if some bimbo hits on him in a bar, I can’t even tell her to back off because he’s mine. I hate that we can’t touch in public, and I always have to avoid too much eye contact when we’re around the team. He lied to me, and I guess that made it easier to leave.”

“Did you see him tonight? Is that why you’re moody?”

“The party earlier was just weird and awkward. I can’t read his mind, and we didn’t have any privacy to hash it out. He acted aloof. I brought a date for crying out loud, and he didn’t even blink. If we were allowed to be a normal couple, he would have told Switch to get lost. But all he could do was stand there and glare at him.”

Crush got up and left the room, a slight limp in his leg. I immediately regretted sharing my feelings about Christian with my father. He didn’t want to hear all this, especially since we were talking about a Vampire.

Crush returned, a bottle of tequila in one hand and a glass in the other. “I found this hidden under the sink. You don’t have to hide it from me. You’re a big girl, and if you want a drink, put the bottle on the counter, not next to the bug spray.”

I held the glass as he poured me a drink. “I didn’t think you wanted this stuff in your house.”

“I’m not your judge and I’m not your jury. People can drink and still maintain control. Just recognize when you’ve crossed the line and lost that control. It spills over into every area of your life.” He screwed the cap back on and set the bottle on the end table before plopping down on the sofa.

One of the springs twanged, and I drowned a laugh with a sip of tequila. “Let me buy you a new sofa.”

“Do you know why I don’t want new furniture?” he asked. “Stains. I’ll spill some spaghetti sauce or a soda and think, Oh shit. Now I’ve messed up my brand-new sofa. I don’t have to deal with that stress with old furniture.”

“You bought a new truck. Don’t you worry about someone keying it? It’s the same difference.”

“If someone keys my truck, I’ll hunt them down and put that key where the sun doesn’t shine.”

“So buy a red couch. Spaghetti stains will blend right in. Don’t be so cheap with yourself. And who cares if you get a stain? Flip the cushion.”

“Hmph,” he muttered, stroking his beard. “Sometimes you’re just like your mama.”

Emotions poured through my body, and I channeled them to my hands. When blue light webbed from my fingertips, I pulled them away.

“Wait,” he said, snatching my wrist. “Let me see.”

I extended my arm and let the light drip from my fingertips. It looked like thin strands of electric spider silk, the light dissipating at the ends.

Crush watched in awe, touching one of the tendrils of light before snapping his arm away as if a snake had bitten him. “That’s magic. Do you have any special gifts, or are you not allowed to tell me that? I get it if you have to keep it a secret.”

I closed my fist and crushed the light. “I’m a Stealer. Ever heard of those?”

“They pull core light from another Mage and remove their immortality. Is that right?”

“Yep. It’s saved my ass a number of times.” I shivered and pulled the blanket tighter. “Why’s it so cold in here?”

“Heater’s busted.”

“Since when?”

He patted his belly as if it were a drum. “I guess this morning. I’ll call someone tomorrow and see if I can schedule them to come out this week. You know where I keep the extra blankets.” Crush yawned loudly and reclined his head. “If it ain’t one thing, it’s something else.”

We both looked toward the door when a motorcycle rumbled out front.

Crush got up and lifted his shotgun from a wall mount. When he reached the window by the door, he pulled back the curtain. “It’s Switch. What the hell is he doing back?”

I flipped the blanket off and stood up. “He probably wants his passenger helmet. I’ll go talk to him.”

Crush leaned the shotgun against the wall and then cradled my head. “I’m glad we had this talk. It doesn’t change a damn thing. You got that? You’re still you.”

I nodded.

Crush kissed the top of my head and then took his gun back to the mount. I stuck my feet in his oversized boots and put on a jacket. When I stepped onto the porch, Switch was walking toward the trailer with something in his hand.

He neared the porch steps and held up a six-pack of beer. “A peace offering. Can we talk?”

I sat at the top of the porch with my feet on the step below. “Have a seat.”

He squeezed into the small space on my right and set the beer down. “Sorry I was a dick. I had time to think about it on the drive home. If you were any other girl, I wouldn’t have done that. It was out of line.” Switch used a bottle opener on his keychain and popped the lid off a bottle before handing it to me. “So I went to get a peace offering. Will you forgive me?”

Our bottles clinked, and I took a swig. “Nothing to forgive.”

He guzzled his beer in three large swallows and then set the bottle on the step below. “How much longer are you staying here?”

I chuckled. “Probably not much longer if Crush doesn’t fix the heater.”

He turned his head. “What’s wrong with the heat?”

“There is none. That’s what’s wrong with it.” I took another sip and held in a belch. “Thanks for coming tonight.”

“Was I a good buffer?”

“I just needed a friend.” A smile touched my lips. “You didn’t have to pretend that you liked me. I didn’t ask you there to make him jealous.”

Switch hooked his finger beneath my chin and turned me to face him. His amorous eyes searched mine as he licked his lips. “Who said I was pretending?”

“You barely know me.”

He leaned closer, his breath warming my lips and his scent clouding my thoughts. “I’ve known you all my life.”

I entertained the idea of kissing him, I’ll give him that. When I leaned away and stared down at my bottle, he took out his phone and started messing with it.

“I don’t want to give you the wrong idea,” I explained, hoping to kill the tension. “My life is already complicated enough.”

“No problem.” His thumbs were tapping away on the phone before he finally slipped it back in his coat pocket. “I better head out.” Switch hopped off the steps and grabbed his helmet. “If you ever need a buffer, you know who to call.”

I put his empty bottle in the case and stood up. “See you around, Switch.”

He held up his hand as he swaggered off to his bike.

Nothing weird about that.

Nothing at all.

When I went back inside, I stepped out of Crush’s boots and folded the jacket over the kitchen chair. Crush was lying on the sofa with a blanket over him. Since he was turned the other way, I couldn’t tell if he was asleep or just pondering everything I’d told him.

I went into the kitchen and guzzled the rest of my beer. When I finished, I popped the lids off the remaining four and poured them down the sink. Switch was amiable and had made a thoughtful gesture, but beer had always been my father’s weakness. Whether it was the color and shape of the bottle or the memories of the taste, he’d always had a tough time battling temptation whether he admitted it or not.

While the suds gurgled down the drain, I wondered what Christian was doing. Was he thinking about me or sleeping like a baby? The party would be over by now, but maybe he stayed to help the host clean up. He’d once mentioned how Vampire women’s beauty was unmatched, so Lenore must have been the ultimate eye candy. I stood there for a long time thinking about it before I redirected my thoughts to Fletcher.

Would he think to come here, or was I just being paranoid? Even if Fletcher weren’t in the picture, it would always be a possibility for any of my enemies to find my father. Maybe that was why Crush decided to sever ties with me after coming clean to Christian about being a trusted human. He must have known I’d come back to protect him, and Crush was a man who didn’t like coddling.

Kind of like me.

I needed to start making some tough decisions, and soon.

Mentally exhausted, I dragged myself into the bedroom. My body tipped like a tree in the woods as I fell onto the bed and buried my face in the pillow. After clearing my head of all the drama, I stripped off my dress and changed into a long Harley T-shirt. The sheets were cold, so I curled up in a ball, deciding it was no worse than Viktor’s mansion when the fireplace wasn’t going. Hell, I had blankets and a soft mattress. Who could complain?

Just as I turned over to go to sleep, the sound of thunder rolled outside. But it wasn’t thunder. Just another biker riding by. When the engine died, I closed my eyes, only to be jolted upright by someone banging on the door.

Then I heard chatter.

“Oh hell,” I muttered, snapping the covers back and getting up. When I opened the door and moved down the hall, I saw three big bikers filling up space in the living room.

“So what’s wrong with it?” one asked.

Crush scratched his chin. “Quit on me.”

“That’s because your electrical system is old as fuck. Can we upgrade now? Or do you want to burn the whole thing down with faulty wiring and outdated appliances? Your entire trailer needs an overhaul, including the water heater.”

“I don’t have the money for all that, Wizard,” Crush fired back.

“We bought you a new one years ago for your birthday, but your stubborn ass won’t let us install it. Your electrical system is a fire hazard, and you’ve got a leaky pipe that’s going to create a mold situation if you don’t take care of it.”

Crush put his hands on his hips. “Who the hell called you up here at this time of night?”

It must have been Switch. I remembered him sending a text message shortly before he left.

“I’ll pay for everything,” I offered. “Give him the works and put it on my bill.”

Crush approached and stood hawkishly over me as he lowered his voice. “I don’t need help.”

“You also don’t need frostbite. And you really don’t need black mold. You took care of me for years, and now it’s my turn. This is what children are supposed to do for their parents, so quit being hardheaded and let them fix your trailer.”

His eyes slanted toward the three men, who were busy looking around as if they were home inspectors.

I put my hands on his shoulders. “I still owe you for the truck. You undercharged just to be nice, but it’s worth more than that. Please, let me do this for you.”

He cocked an eyebrow. “Fine. But does it have to be now?”

The leader of the group grinned, his long black mustache dragging past his chin. “My packmate’s already on his way with the equipment in the back of the pickup. You’re all out of options, Crush.” He winked at me before taking off his coat. “Let’s start by getting the heat back on.”