Never His Girl: Chapter 35
BLUE
“I met her at the party,” West adds with a sigh. When he pauses, I believe it’s an attempt to search for the right words.
“Her name’s Casey,” he says gravely.
The pace of my heart picks up just a little when he mentions her.
“She was a senior on Everly’s dance squad, and we just kind of hit it off,” he shares. “We danced for a bit, had a couple drinks, then… we ended up in a bedroom.”
When I clear my throat, it dawns on me that I might not be as evolved as I thought. I want him to be open with me, but hopefully I’m spared the details.
“Things… got heated pretty fast,” he goes on. “Then, when it was over, she took my phone while I got dressed and locked her number in under Casey W. She handed it back and slipped into her jeans. I shot her a text, so she’d have my info too, then we went our separate ways.”
A strange, loaded silence creeps in.
“So… what happened next?” I ask when he seems to get lost in a thought.
First, he breathes deep, then he shrugs. “For a bit, life just went on as usual. I’d hear from her every now and then, we’d make plans to hang out again, but they fell through every time.”
“You just lost touch after that?”
“Not exactly,” he answers, shaking his head. “Got a call from her late one night while she stayed with a friend. She was hysterical, crying so hard I could hardly make out what she said.”
My heart’s racing. Like I imagine West’s must’ve been when that frantic call came through.
“It was some kind of emotional breakdown,” he explains, looking as if he’s still trying to understand it after all this time. “Turned out she wasn’t just randomly visiting with the friend. She was there… recovering.”
His word choice seems strange to me, but I don’t question him about it.
“The week before, she’d been to see a doctor. Apparently, she had some weird symptoms that scared the shit out of her. Then, a day or two before I got that call, she’d already gone back to the clinic.”
“For a follow-up?” I ask.
“No,” West answers, shaking his head. “For a procedure.”
My heart feels like it stops in my chest when he says that, because I’m pretty sure I know what kind of procedure he’s talking about. Putting it plainly, this isn’t quite the conversation I imagined we’d be having tonight.
“I didn’t even know,” he adds. “Not until she’d already done something about it.”
I swallow the lump in my throat and take a breath, filling in the blanks when it seems he’s having a hard time doing that himself. He’d gotten this girl pregnant, and without him even knowing that much, she had an abortion.
Deep breath, Blue. Deep breath.
“Do you think you might’ve asked her to reconsider?” I ask, hoping I’m hiding it well enough that I’m in complete shock right now. The last thing I want is for him to misread any kind of tension in my voice for judgment.
He shrugs, thinking about what I’ve just said.
“I’ve wrestled with that, asking myself that very question,” he admits. “While I don’t think I was or am ready to be some kid’s father, I guess it also felt kind of weird not having any say in the matter, either.”
There’s pain in those words, in his eyes when he says them.
“On the one hand, I can’t imagine how hard it was for her to make that decision on her own, but I also wish she’d come to me sooner,” he says. “At least then, we could’ve come up with something together, explored all our options.”
He zones out again and I observe him, noting that I’ve never known West to be cautious about anything, but there’s no missing how delicately he’s handling this conversation. It isn’t lost on him that these were very serious circumstances, that led to a very serious outcome.
And… it’s something that affected him.
Deeply.
“We didn’t use protection the night of the party,” he admits. “Guess we both thought we were invincible or something. Needless to say, it didn’t take long for us to realize that was a fucking lie.”
I’ve often wondered why he’s so responsible when it comes to using protection, more than most guys our age, but now I know. He’s seen firsthand what can happen when two people aren’t careful.
“I’m sorry,” is all I can think to say, which draws a quiet laugh from West.
“What the fuck are you sorry for?”
I shrug and search for what I’m trying to express.
“I mean, you didn’t even know what was happening until a decision had been made. That must’ve been hard in some way. Guess I’m just sorry you had to experience that. Either of you,” I add, acknowledging what Casey must have felt as well.
He stares for a moment, just sitting there quietly as his thoughts consume him. I’m not sure why, but I lean forward and take his hand. Maybe because, if I were him, I’d need someone to hold mine right about now.
“Was that the end of it? You two just went your separate ways after that?” I ask.
“No,” he answers with a sigh. “I met up with her the next day. You know, just to talk shit out, make sure she was okay. But it was during that face-to-face conversation that we both realized something.”
I’m intrigued, listening harder now.
“Back then, she wasn’t following Pandora all that closely, which is why she completely missed who I was the night we hooked up. Actually, if one of her friends hadn’t randomly showed her a post about me, it might’ve taken her even longer to make the connection.”
My brow quirks. “What connection?”
Sighing, West shakes his head and I realize the story is about to take yet another sharp turn.
“The ‘W’ she added when saving her name in my phone stands for ‘Wells’,” he shares. “As in, she’s the daughter of Adam Wells. The same Adam Wells who’s head coach of the NCU football team. The Adam Wells I’m supposed to be playing for next year.”
West’s hand warms in mine and the pieces are falling into place.
“As I’m sure you can imagine, knocking up my soon-to-be coach’s daughter isn’t exactly the first impression I want to make. Having this fucking secret hanging over my head is the reason I push myself so hard, the reason I needed one last flawless season under my belt. I didn’t just want to be the best of the best… I had to be,” he explains, bringing the entire picture into view for me.
“Wow,” is all I can say, which I’m certain isn’t exactly helpful, but damn. Talk about irony.
“Still, even with everything I have riding on this, it’s bigger than that,” West adds, and while I don’t say it out loud, I can’t imagine what could possibly be bigger than flushing his entire future down the drain.
“The few times Casey and I have talked, she’s adamant about us keeping what happened under wraps. She insists that her dad can never know, and up until now that’s been in my best interest, too. It’s just that… I can’t keep doing this. Can’t let Parker slip through the fucking cracks,” he says. “There’s also the fact that I hate what this probably looks like to everyone else, from the outside looking in.”
“Hate what … what looks like?”
He peers up at me before answering, “Us.”
I laugh a bit. Can’t help it. “What the hell are you talking about, West?”
“Makes me sick to my stomach knowing people actually believe I’d post that fucking video of us. And I’m sure they have opinions about you being with me after that.”
I had never mentioned it out loud, but it does burn a bit, knowing how weak and stupid I must seem for forgiving West after sharing something so personal with the entire city. Only, they don’t know the truth. That I’m no one’s doormat and never have been. But most importantly, they don’t know West’s truth.
That he isn’t guilty.
I squeeze his hand again, feeling his heart in this conversation more than I imagined I would. Yes, he’s got a lot to lose if this all blows up in his face, but he’s also trying to look out for Casey. Trying to look out for me.
“She agreed to meet me tomorrow night, so I’m planning to make the drive to her campus after school,” he shares. “I know that’s kind of a weird thing to do—meet someone I used to be involved with for coffee—but I don’t want to say what I need to say over the phone.”
I nod, agreeing. “No, you’re right. Some situations require an in-person conversation.”
“Still, I don’t want you to be uncomfortable, or think it’s something it isn’t, so I don’t mind if you wanna come, too. I just—”
“West, I trust you.”
I hadn’t realized he needed to hear that until he looks up again, meeting my gaze. He isn’t smiling, isn’t saying a thing, but I know the very words I just spoke were right on time.
“Of course you do. Because you’re fucking amazing,” is all he says, which has me smiling a little.
“I’ve been called worse,” I tease with a shrug.
He responds by coming closer, placing a kiss on my forehead.
“Go talk to Casey tomorrow. I’ll be here when you get back,” I assure him. “However, in the spirit of awkward-but-necessary conversations, I think it might be time I sit down and have a chat with Ricky, too.”
West holds my gaze, and while I expect a little bit of resistance, or even that twisted look he gets on his face at the mere mention of Ricky’s name, I don’t get either of those reactions. Instead, only a look of understanding.
“I’ll call and tell you everything the second I’m back in Cypress Pointe,” he promises.
“I know.”
His eyes leave me and he’s staring at the floor again, seemingly deep in thought.
“I honestly have no clue what I’ll say to her tomorrow,” he admits. “All I know is she’s entitled to a heads-up before you and I go to Harrison and Pryor. Because once that happens, it’s only a matter of time before Parker opens her big-ass mouth and word gets back to Coach Wells about me and Casey.”
“Just be you,” I suggest. “Tell her whatever’s on your heart and trust that it’s enough.”
He nods and I smile at him, sensing his relief now that everything’s out in the open.
“Now, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” I ask with a smile.
“You mean spilling my fucking guts to my girlfriend and praying she doesn’t leave my ass? Nah… piece of cake,” he teases.
My brow quirks just before clearing my throat. “Um… girlfriend? Thought you said that term was off limits. Think I recall you mentioning something about kindergarten?”
“Smart ass,” he growls, flashing that soul-stirring grin of his half a second later, and then grabbing my waist. He falls backwards on my bed and brings me down on top of him.
I smile down at him because I still can’t believe that he, West Golden, turned out to be… just… everything.