Chapter 20
They paid for their purchases and then walked back to the parking area at the restaurant to get the car. They loaded their packages into the back and John walked her to the passenger side and helped her in. A brisk breeze blew her hair back and he smelled her perfume, like a delicate flower and wondered what it was. “What is that scent you’re wearing?” He asked in a soft voice, not realizing at first that he had even said it out loud.
“I’m not wearing perfume. It’s just the soap I use.” She smiled at him.
“You smell very nice.” John smiled back down at her. His hands were itching to touch her, to pull her close, as her eyes dropped to his mouth invisibly drawing his head down to hers. He hadn’t even realized that his hand was on her waist until someone slammed a door somewhere behind them and they jumped apart guiltily.
“Um, we had better get going. It’s going to be dark soon.” John said as he glanced back over his shoulder. Emily regretfully sat down on the seat and swung her legs into the car so that he could close the door. John hurried around the car and got in behind the wheel. He started the car and pulled out of the parking space and then on to the street, unable to look at her for a few moments.
“What are you thinking?” He wondered about both of them. He knew he wanted to be with her but until this was over and she knew where she was going, would she be able to make an intelligent decision about getting involved with him or not.
He hoped she wanted him as much as he wanted her but to let himself go now could mean his career and he could lose more than just her if she decided that she never wanted anything more to do with anything or anyone that reminded her of this time. Up until a few minutes ago, he had not had any indication from her that she wanted him to touch her, to kiss her, but her desire had been plain on her face.
Now keeping his distance was going to be all that much harder now that he suspected she wanted him too or was it just his hopeful imagination?
Emily wished with everything in her that the person who had slammed the door could have waited just a minute longer. She was dying to know what it would be like for John to touch her, to kiss her.
She suddenly realized that she had been wanting it from the first time she had seen him standing in the doorway to the laundry room. She had been so tempted to tell him she had to use the restroom and get away from him long enough to buy the sexy nightie she had been looking at until she had seen the price tag.
It would have taken everything in both her pocket and her wallet to pay for the tiny bit of silk and lace and she knew she would never have the nerve to wear it in front of him, at least not at first. She had never imagined herself as being a temptress or sex goddess.
They rode in silence almost all the way back to the hotel. Just before they turned into the parking garage at the Hilton, the radio that John had been assigned made a noise and he picked it up and clicked the button. They listened as someone called in that the black SUV had been spotted and they were setting up a perimeter to box it in. It was a few blocks over from the Hampton where they had stayed last night.
“They must be trying to get back on the highway the same way they came into town.” John said. “Looks like this might be ending tonight.” He looked over at her and saw a look of sadness pass over her face before she smiled weakly at him.
John pulled into a parking stall and carried the radio with him as he got out. He came around the front and opened her door and held out his hand to her. She put her hand in his as she swung her legs out and slid off of the seat and stood still in front of him as she looked up into his face.
“Emily…” he started to stay but then a car pulled into the garage and their headlights caught them standing next to the car. “Come on. Let’s get this stuff up to our rooms.”
She wondered what he had been about to say as they unloaded their packages from the back and walked to the elevator. They caught it up to the 7th floor and there was a man who looked like he had not been properly fitted for the uniform he was wearing to be an actual bellhop coming down the hall.
John noticed the rather curious look he had given them as he watched them walk past him down the hall to their rooms, both lost in their own thoughts. “Open your door when you are ready. I think I’m going to jump in the shower and then I want to call in and see where they are at in catching them.” John said as he waited for her to open her door. He glanced back down the hall but the bellhop was nowhere to be seen.
“OK. Same here.” Emily said as she unlocked her door and pushed it open. Her thoughts wandered back to them getting out of the car and she realized that it had been the second time she had gotten the distinct impression that he had been wanting to kiss her and she thought she had been sending the signals that said she wanted him too but they kept getting interrupted.
She carried her packages into her room and sat them on the floor next to her bed. She quickly took off the Kevlar vest and dropped it on the bed. Then she took things out of the packages and chose what she wanted to wear and kept them on the table next to the flat screen TV.
She repacked her back pack with the new stuff inside. Her old stuff couldn’t fit in there any more so she put it in the big shopping bag. It now contained her old sneakers and the old worn out clothes she needed to wash but would probably never wear again, except if she was going to paint something. She gathered up her toiletries and headed for the bathroom. She decided to take a sit down bath, hoping the hot water would help her relax.
Emily took her time, feeling much more relaxed when she stood up under the shower and washed her hair and bathed the rest of herself. She got out of the hot shower and was thankful for the nice warm fluffy towels as she dried herself and then wrapped another towel around her wet hair.
She brushed her teeth then squeezed as much of the water from her hair as she could before she combed it out. She usually liked for it to air dry but that took time and she didn’t like sleeping on wet hair so she grabbed the blow dryer and her brush and set to work getting her long locks dry while keeping it under control.
She pulled on her new clothes and went to open the door between their rooms. She stood on her side of the door with her hand on the knob, torn between hoping that John was going to tell her the men had been caught and that she could go on about her life and wanting to hear they had gotten away so that she could spend more time with John. She didn’t dare pray that John would profess his love for her and that they would live happily ever after. She just didn’t have that kind of luck!
She couldn’t believe that after 3 years of being on the run and her whole life waiting for the right man, she had finally found him and that their time together was limited to however long it took the FBI to catch the men who had been trying to kill her for so long and had been the reason that John had come into her life.
Would he walk away saying “Glad I was able to help and it was nice to have met you but it’s time I got back to my life and you back to yours so, so long and good luck!”? She prayed that no matter what happened, he wouldn’t treat her like just another person he had met and helped and could just walk away from. She couldn’t help but hope he felt something for her.
John entered his room and dropped his packages on the end of the bed. He had to think! What had he been thinking? When the wind had blown and he had smelled a scent he would forever more associate with her, it had been like she had reached in and taken his heart.
He had wanted to kiss her so badly. To taste her, to lose himself inside of her. She was beyond more than just an innocent that he had to protect because that was his job, he wanted to protect her from everything bad for the rest of their lives.
He thought about the past two days, “is that all it’s been? Two days?” It seemed like he had known her his whole life. “That’s because it’s not the past where you see her, it’s the future. Be honest with yourself and admit that you want her in your life for the rest of your life.” His little voice started to torment him.
“She’s smart and funny, sweet and caring, beautiful and strong and sexy as hell. She smells like a delicate flower and you want to taste her nectar. Let her know you care, that you want the same things she does.” His little voice urged him.
John stepped under the cold shower in the hopes that it would freeze her out of his mind, helping him turn off his desire for her but even though he was now shivering, he still wanted her.
He grabbed the soap and lathered himself but couldn’t stop his desire of wanting to feel her hands on him instead as he reached down and sated himself. It didn’t help, he still wanted her. To feel her touch. To kiss her, taste her. He tried to wash away his desire for her but he knew it was no use. He was falling for her, hard but it would be wrong for him to give in to it now. It was almost over.
Would she go and leave him wishing he had kissed her just once? Would kissing her keep her from going? Or drive her away? Lord, a man could go crazy trying to figure out what a woman might or might not do. He had to know or he would go crazy. He had to talk to her but what to say? What did he want?
She had said she wanted to find a man who would love her the way she loved him. She wanted marriage and kids and a home she could call her own. Someone to protect and love her until the end of time. After Sharon had left, all of his “future dreams” had been focused on his job but now he realized that, even though he was just coming to realize it, that all along, that both he and Emily wanted the same things.
He wanted someone to love, to have children with, to grow old with and if he had his way, Emily was the one for him.
But for now, he just had to let things play out. Nothing could be decided until this was all over but he promised himself that before they parted, if they parted, that he would find out how it felt to hold her, to kiss her and he prayed that it would not drive her away.
He still had to admit to himself that, until this very minute, not only had Emily managed to scale the wall he had built around his heart after Sharon had left, Emily had totally smashed it. She was firmly seated in his soul. He prayed she would not turn away from him because he wasn’t sure if he could go through that all over again.
He got out of the shower and toweled off. He quickly shaved and brushed his teeth, then combed his hair into place. He decided to wear some of his new clothes and pulled on his new jeans and a clean shirt.
He had also bought some t-shirts the day they had gone to the strip and he pulled on the one she had picked for him that said “Warrior” on the front and had a spear and a sword crossed over a shield on the back.
He too was glad to shed the heavy Kevlar vest they had had on all afternoon. They were not planning on leaving the rooms again tonight as far as he knew but felt it was inappropriate to run around in front of her in his pajamas but he did want to talk to her.