Hockey With Benefits

Male voices. A lock was turning. Then, “Dude, you have a chick in your bed.”

I woke up to that.

And, crap.

Cruz came in, dropping his bag and stripping off his hoodie like nothing was happening while Barclay was grinning from the doorway.

He lifted his chin. “’Sup, Daniels?”

I pulled the blanket back over my head and scooted down in the bed, curling into a ball.

“What’s going on?” Atwater was joining the conversation. “Did I hear you say Daniels? She in here?”

“Hiding in the bed.” Barclay’s amusement was heavy.

“Daniels, that’s not a great hiding spot. First place we check is the bed.”

“Go away!” My voice was muffled from the blanket, but they started laughing.

“Guys.” A step creaked under Cruz. He was moving through the room.

“Wait. We’ll go, but Daniels, we’re trying to talk Cruz into a game of laser tag. He’s saying no, but maybe you want to come?”

Laser tag?

I sat up. My head came out of the blanket. Cruz was by the bathroom.

I asked, “The new games place?”

Both nodded. Both wearing eager grins.

I narrowed my eyes. “Not going to take any crap from you guys.”

Atwater shook his head while Barclay held his hands up in surrender.

“We know the deal. Mum’s the word.” Atwater made a show of zipping his lips and tossing the key.

Barclay rolled his eyes, but added, “Cool if you hang out, if you want.”

I glanced at Cruz, who was still standing in the bathroom doorway, waiting and listening. Seeing me looking at him, he raised an eyebrow. “I like laser tag, so up to you.”

Laser tag or a sex/study session? Or laser tag and then a sex/study session?

“I’m in.”

“Yes!” Atwater’s fists went up in the air and he turned to do a jog down the hall.

Barclay’s hand pounded the doorframe, and he pointed at me. “Head out in forty minutes.”

Shit.

“I have to change–”

“You’re good.”

I looked at Cruz. He indicated my clothes. “Those are fine.”

Leggings and a sweatshirt? But I shrugged. I could shower here. “Sounds good.”

“Sweet. Okay. See you down there.” He reached in and pulled the door shut, and I waited, seeing if there’d be some innuendo or a wink, but nothing. I got no teasing and that was refreshing.

Cruz crossed the room, locking the door, and narrowed his eyes at me. “You joining or…” He laughed as I flung the blankets back and led the way, still in my tank top and underwear.

Turning the water on, I leaned in and waited until it was warm enough.

I peeled my shirt off, and dropped my underwear, stepping out of them. Going inside, I wasn’t looking, but I could feel Cruz right behind me. His chest was brushing against my back.

We’d showered together before, but it was always sexual. Or it always went sexual.

I took the shampoo, put some in my hand and handed it over my shoulder. I heard his low chuckle as he took it and as I was lathering my hair, he reached around me, putting it back. There were other times when I’d not been in the shower with Cruz, but I had watched him. He always went fast. A brisk scrub through his hair, over his body and after a rinse, he was done. Easy-peasy, so when I felt his hands in my hair, helping me work the shampoo in, I started grinning.

I didn’t know if I should be grinning.

He shoved my head back under the showerhead, and I stopped caring.

Cruz was acting like a professional hairdresser. There were no lingering touches or grazes. He washed my hair, rinsed it, and reached around me, stepping in and coming in full contact against my back. Okay, there was some rubbing now, but he took the conditioner and worked it in my hair, repeating the process. I did nothing, letting him do the work. It was nice.

Once he was satisfied, the body wash came out.

He lathered himself up, and as I was washing my body, I felt his hands going over my back. My ass. In my ass, and I squealed a little, jumping. Another low chuckle from him before I felt his hands running down my legs. I stopped, just watching as he washed and rinsed my entire bottom half. As he moved his hands up my legs, rotating around to the front, he stood, coming back in contact with me and his hand moved up between my legs.

I held my breath, waiting to see what he’d do.

Now he lingered.

I leaned back against him. His fingers moved through my folds, a very thorough cleaning until one of his fingers slipped inside.

I reached out, pushing against the shower wall as he very suddenly and very drastically changed the feel of the shower. His finger went in. A slow slide at first, going deep, and I groaned, but he readjusted me so I was angled better for him. He began moving in and out. Still slow at first, until I widened my legs, and a second finger moved in. Pretty soon, he had an arm around my waist, cementing me up in the air as his fingers were plunging into me.

He knew my body so well. He knew how many pumps he needed, at what angle, how and where the way to grind against me, how long to hold, and he knew the exact right moment for his thumb to start moving over my clit at the same time.

I was almost crawling up the wall as I exploded. He held me upright, waiting until my legs could work again.

I let out a shuddering breath when my feet touched the floor and didn’t slide out from under me, laughing shakily when I looked back at him. He was watching me, a dark and lusty look.

“You want?” I motioned to him. His cock was sticking right up against his stomach.

His hand wrapped around himself, giving it a few strokes before he shook his head. He leaned in, crowding me back against the side wall and his head folded down. He murmured, throatily, “Something to look forward to after laser tag.”

A zing went through me, and his mouth found mine. That zing electrified, coursing through my whole body. I was out of breath at the end of the kiss, but he stepped away, moved the showerhead to give himself a last rinse, and winked as he stepped out of the shower.

God.

I turned the other way, giving my back to him because I was shaken.

That felt–different.

This whole day felt different, like we were shifting, and for a moment, fear branded my insides. A shiver went down my spine, and I couldn’t breathe. For a minute. A few seconds. It felt like an hour, until–OFF–I shut it down. Everything.

Once I did, I gasped, silently, but my lungs seized.

I couldn’t bring myself to turn around. The water was raining down on me, and I reached out, the tips of my fingers pressing against the tile. I closed my eyes, counted.

One.

Two.

Three–my fingers started shaking.

Four.

My lungs were closing–five.

I pushed off, and whipped around, but he wasn’t there. Thank goodness.

I could do this. I could go to laser tag with Cruz. We could hang out. We were already going to hang out. We were texting. We’d talked on the phone.

The changes didn’t mean I had to shut this down.

Yeah. That was it.

Because if it didn’t–I couldn’t go there.

I still needed this connection.

It was fine.

Fine.

Everything would be just fine.

Still, as I grabbed the towel Cruz had left on the counter for me, and began drying my body, I closed myself off to what I was doing. I went in my head, and did something I hadn’t done for a few years.

My brain was a house. There were rooms. Doors. Hallways.

I put my mom in one room. My dad in another.

Miles. Gavin.

My roommates all got their own room together.

Tasmin, her boyfriend.

And the last one, Cruz. He got the basement.

Once all the doors were shut, and the hallways were empty, I could function again.

I moved into the bedroom. Cruz wasn’t there. He’d made the bed and my clothes were on top, not folded, but laid out. He added one of his hockey hoodies, and I grabbed it. I’d put it away, but after I was done dressing, there was a warning knock before the door opened. He popped his head in and gestured behind him. “Guys are taking off. You want to ride with me or…?”

“No,” I choked out, clearing my throat before my voice sounded normal again. “No. I need my car. I’ll meet you guys there.”

“You good?”

“I’m good.”

He jerked his chin up before heading out.

I waited a little. I didn’t want to go out his window if I didn’t need to, so once the house was quiet and I heard the cars leave, I went out through a side door.

“You good?”

“I’m good.”

The thing was…me, my issues, I should’ve been lying through my teeth with that statement.

I wasn’t.

I was still holding his hoodie, too.