Halcyon's Wake: Faith

An Uneasy Calm

Smokey’s lithe grandsons made short work of filling all the available sacks with Liland, then began piling load after load of exposed, uncovered piles within nooks in the cave. Sweat matted my hair and shone on my face in a gritty, violet paste. The manual labor felt good, but the mental struggle in my mind threatened to overwhelm me. The storm called to me — really — it was actually speaking my name with every distant flash and rumble. And it only intensified as the storm drew closer. I focused my attention back on the growing wall of sandbags, trying to ignore the voices on the wind and caught Beth eyeing me in my peripheral vision. She knew I was agitated - that damn new-age, freaking ‘link’ of ours, no doubt - and I could almost taste her own concern.

I looked at her intently, her face beautiful even though she looked like she’d been partially licked by a giant then dipped in an oversized box of powdered, grape Kool-aid. I reached for her hand and she took it anxiously, her eyes never leaving mine. I relaxed, and tried to open my mind up like she’d taught me on the station. I had to let her know I wasn’t going crazy - or am I? She sucked in a surprised gasp as the voices echoed into her own mind, and clarity mixed with fear descended on her face.

“You trust me?” I said, clenching her hand tighter and reaching for her other one. Her hand found mine - less anxious than the first grip, and with a decidedly more intimate grasp. Unfamiliar and awkward. But somehow comfortable… and somehow right. And way wrong. She pulled both of my hands to her lips and kissed them softly, her normally stoic, academic face vanishing; a rainbow of violet tears beginning to crease her cheeks, an unspoken and unwilling ‘yes’ showing in her eyes, and I doubted my own decision for what seemed too long a time. I brought her own hands to my lips and kissed them chastely, then headed for the cave entrance without looking back, the voices and pull of the storm too overwhelming to ignore. I stopped by my pile of gear, donned a poncho, grabbed a flashlight, a couple of MRE’s, canteens and threw them into an old day-pack - my own name repeatedly echoing in a cacophony inside my brain “ZACK! ZACK! ZACK!”, accompanied by whispers of Donasha cushioning the force. I picked up Hiro’s sword - and almost put it back down. “ZACK! ZACK! Donasha. ZACK!” If I’m going to wander out into a freak storm that speaks to me - I might as well have a sword and go out like some kind of comic book superhero. ‘Liland Man’, maybe? Not quite as cool as Wolverine - but I guess you gotta work with what you’ve got… what the hell am I saying? I’m about to wander into the desert BECAUSE VOICES INSIDE MY HEAD ARE TELLING ME TO!!!

I belted on the sword and shouldered the light pack - not daring a glance back to Beth, but nevertheless feeling unseen eyes upon me - and a guilty twinge and flutter in my chest I shouldn’t be feeling - not for Beth… not now. Too soon, in spite of all we’d been through. No love for you, jarhead - not until the voices go away - chances are you’re about to become Liland-rubbed barbecue in a few minutes anyway - get to it, Marine.

I sighed and shouldered my way out into the approaching storm hoping I looked more confident than I felt, but also kind of relieved that I didn’t have to stick around and look her in the eyes.

*****

Mouse took several calming breaths, trying to quell his racing heartbeat and appear as nonchalant as possible. The horrific conclusion that had just dawned on him made his skin crawl from head to toe. How could I be so freakin’ clueless?! Chicks like her do not dig guys like me. What the hell am I going to do now...

‘Christina’ still placed gentle kisses and breathed softly on his neck. His mind told him that his arm was shaking like a leaf in a hurricane as he slowly lifted it to embrace her neck, but only the faintest tremor betrayed his anxiety as he gently slid his fingers through her thick curls and laced his fingers across the base of her skull. She had to feel his pulse racing feverishly. She moaned ever so slightly, and Mouse let out a ragged breath. Now or never…

He leaned back as slowly as he dared into her embrace, afraid to open his lips and unwittingly free a thinly-veiled squeal of fear, bringing his other hand up to caress her face - stretching back until his hands finally met behind her warm neck… then jerked her head down as hard as he possibly could into the sharp edge of the steel desk in front of him, the bridge of her nose meeting the unmoving steel edge with a gratifying, wet CRACK!!, along with a spray of bright blood that showered him and the monitors in front of him in crimson mist. He rolled his right shoulder beneath her weight and in a fluid up and down motion driven by revulsion, fear and adrenaline began to quickly jackhammer her misshapen face repeatedly into the desk’s surface, again and again and again, until the surface of the desk ran entirely red, and heavy rivulets of blood streaked the monitors.

He let the body slide to the floor, the misshapen face thankfully away from him, and he sucked breath in too rapidly as his heart raced out of control. He closed his eyes tight, feeling the warm blood dripping down his face and tried to calm his breathing. He finally forced his eyes open and dared to look down at her, a black, expanding pool snaking through those fiery curls he loved so much - now a matted, ugly thing. He rolled his seat away from the gore, but kept his eyes riveted on what he prayed was the reptilian creature Zack and Beth had warned him about - if not, he would soon find himself locked up in Luna’s brig - or worse.

For what seemed an eternity Mouse stared at the corpse and saw no changes, just a dead woman that had been arousing him rather well moments ago - and he feared that he might have just inadvertently murdered the first person to show a romantic interest in him - ever. But a transformation did start to happen - very slowly, and the guilt on his conscience began to fade away.

He slid back towards the desk - not caring that he rolled through the blood pool, then switched on the comm link to Luna’s Operations Center. “This is Mouse - I need Director Salek and Dr. Franks in my room immediately.” He released the intercom switch, stood on surprisingly sturdy feet and wandered into the small lavatory - where he began throwing up repeatedly until Director Salek arrived to his quarters - alone.