Emily's Seams

“I want you to come over to meet my parents.”

The latte rushed up my nose and all over the table. I gasped for air as the hot, frothy drink threatened my lungs.

“Oh shit, sorry Em!” Robert was up, out of his chair and back again with a fistful of napkins before I could breathe.

“What the fuck, Robert.” I finally managed. The words came out strained. Partly from a lack of air but mostly surprise.

“I just...well, I talk about you sometimes. They want to meet you.”

“Robert, I can’t! I can barely handle this!” I said as I wildly gestured at the space between us.

His face changed. He wasn’t angry but there might have been some hurt in there.

“Look Robert, I really, really like you. More than I’ve ever liked anyone...like this. I just need some time.” I was three inches from losing it. I couldn’t lose him because I had stupidly started needing him.

He just looked at me and reached for my hand. “Okay, Em. But I’m gonna keep asking.”

I felt my shoulders ease and my breathing quiet. “I hope so.”

I’d gone back to Creekside twice in one week but each time was almost painful. I had no news for Angus. In 1986, the last year he remembered, there had been a few newspapers running at the time. I had dutifully checked the October obituaries, right around the World Series games, but I found nothing.

“Hey Em, I know you haven’t found anything yet. I mean about me.” Angus and I were standing in the dingy little hospital room after my second visit. I had brought chocolate chip cookies.

“I’ve been looking. Are you sure you were in Vancouver? I’m checking the obituaries for October and I can’t find a thing.”

He took his cap off and ran his hand over his scalp. “I dunno, Em. That’s the piss poor truth of it.”

“I’m going to keep looking. If I could find out about Dolly, I’m sure I can find out about you.”

“Now no lying to me, alright? Don’t make something up if you get tired of looking. If you do find something, no matter what, you be straight with me. Even if it turns out I went off the deep end and did something real bad, you gotta tell me.” He looked desperate. It was unsettling coming from him.

“I promise. Are they getting to you?”

Angus sat down on one of the beds and sighed. “Yeah. It’s like I don’t know which end is up anymore. Things are getting so muddled up in my head here and I just can’t even think straight. It’s that glow of theirs. It’s driving me crazy!”

I sat down beside him. “Okay. I’m gonna keep looking. I’ve gotta go now though. I’ve got a dinner date I can’t miss.”

He looked up at me. I have to admit that I was insulted at the surprised look on his face.

“Yeah, I have friends.”

“I never said you didn’t. But you said dinner date.”

I sighed. “I’m meeting a boy’s parents tonight for the first time and I would rather spend the night in jail.”

“Then why the hell are you going?”

I looked down at my feet. I was wearing a pair of old sneakers. I needed to go home and change. “Because I like him.”

“Well, isn’t he the lucky one. Go charm those parents, Em. Tell them, especially this boy’s mom, that their son is the greatest. And that you’ve done nothing but hold hands.”

I had to laugh. I turned and started for the door.

“Thanks Angus. I’ll fill you in on how it went tomorrow.”

He smiled and winked at me. “I’ll be waiting.”

“Gees, Emily! See what a little effort can do?”

I looked into the mirror and had to admit that I looked better than usual. Julia had been helping me get ready for a date. She’d done my hair and makeup and had even picked out my clothes.

“Yeah, you’re a genius. Can’t wait for this to be over. After this, will you get off my back?” I said.

Julia smiled. “I know what you gave up when mom died. I just don’t want to see you end up alone because you had to worry about me all this time.”

“Oh please. Jude’s your legal guardian, not me.”

Julia snorted. “Oh yeah? Watch this.” She got up and opened the door to my bedroom. “Auntie Jude! I’m on fire, help! Seriously, I lit myself on fire and I am actually burning to death!”

Nothing.

“Okay, okay. Give her a break, she’s ancient.”

“I don’t care that she’s completely incapacitated most of the time. But only because I’ve got you. Please try to have fun tonight?”

This was Julia to the core. Always thought of everyone else. At fourteen, she was beautiful, smart and probably one of the sweetest people I knew. I wrapped her up in my arms.

“I’d probably have more fun staying here with you.” I said. “This guy’s a dud, I know it.”

Julia laughed. “Okay, consider him a practice run. Try out some good table manners, conversation starters, that sort of thing. Besides, I picked you out a good boob shirt. It can’t be wasted on me.”

I nodded. “Thanks Julia. There’s cash in the cookie jar. Order some pizza or something, okay?”

I looked at myself in the mirror. I had no one to help me get ready tonight. Normally, memories of Julia left me hallow but today it calmed me. I didn’t attempt anything as complicated as a boob shirt or makeup, but I did iron a shirt.

My stomach was sick before we even started dinner. I prayed that Robert’s mom was against serving anything too pungent on a first meet-the-parents dinner. No fish, curries, eggs, broccoli, fried pork or beef, or liver. I think I smiled when she brought out a big dish of spaghetti.

“You never know nowadays who eats what so hopefully you’re okay with pasta,” his mom said as she set the dish down in front of Robert and me.

“I skipped the beef, just in case and you can add cheese if you want but you don’t have to have any.”

“Stop fussing and sit. I don’t know why we had to skip out on the meatballs. We could’ve just had those on the side too.” Robert’s dad was pouting.

“You know I hate the smell of those rotten things. Last thing I’m gonna do is send Robert’s girlfriend running from this house because it smells like a butcher shop in summer.”

“My dad hunts and my mom makes meatballs out of moose meat, hence the smell.” Robert explained.

“Wild game, doesn’t get any better!” his dad added.

“This looks great. Thanks.” I said.

Robert’s mom smiled brightly at me. “Well go on now and dig in! You’re our guest after all, you go first.”

Now this is something I’ve never gotten my head around. Why are guests made to feel special by putting them on the spot? My arms couldn’t move and I guess my stillness lasted just a second too long. Both his parents were staring at me.

Robert grabbed my plate and started scooping pasta on to it. “Mom, pass me down your plate. Dad, hand Em the cheese, eh?”

The three of them busied themselves with passing plates here and there, whirling the two different kinds of cheese from one side of the table to the other. I was no longer the center of attention.

It didn’t last long. As soon as I had shoved the first forkful of spaghetti into my mouth, his mom started up again. Shirley? Shit, I couldn’t remember.

“So Emily, Rob here tells us you pretty much keep that lab running. How long have you been doing that?”

I couldn’t help it. My brain dissected her question ten different ways before I could even think of answering. Why did she want to know? What was she implying? What had Robert told her?

“Uh, well I started working in a lab about five years ago, after I’d finished my undergraduate degree. It was in Vancouver. That lab closed and I got hired on at this lab about two years ago. So, awhile I guess.”

“Wow, so this must be really interesting work,” she remarked.

A little laugh escaped me. “It pays my rent.”

“You thinking of grad school at all?” she continued.

“I don’t know. Maybe. Our boss offered me a student position the first year I was there but they pay you a lot less and you have to apply for funding. It’s kind of a mess, so I just decided not to bother that year.”

His dad huffed. “They sure do pay a lot less. If it wasn’t for the family business, this one here wouldn’t even be able to pay his rent.” He pointed his fork at Robert. Joe? No, it definitely wasn’t Joe. Cliff?

“Come on dad...” Robert began to protest.

“Oh don’t come on dad me. It’s all well and good to learn, but there comes a time when you have to take on the responsibilities of a job. Join the real world.”

Robert sighed and put his fork down. It was easy to see that this wasn’t the first time they had discussed this topic.

Like the rising up of gastric acid, Dumb Emily’s words found my throat and burned. “No disrespect, but your son does amazing work.”

“Em, it’s okay,” Robert said gently.

“No, it’s not. I’ve been at the lab long enough to see that he’s the only one that gets published regularly and his latest project is good enough for Nature. I know that may not sound like much but it’s people like your son that are pushing this world forward. Medicine, economics, engineering, it’s all because of research. He’s just got to play this stupid grad school game awhile longer. It’s just how research is set up and it sucks but your son is incredible at it. The stuff he comes up with is unlike any of the other grad students in our lab. His ideas are what keep that lab’s funding from drying up.”

His dad looked at me. It was a completely indecipherable look.

“Sounds like you’ve got a fan here, Robert.” he said before shoving another forkful of pasta into his mouth.

I looked over at his mom. She was beaming.

Thanks Angus, I thought to myself. At least I won over one of the two parents.

“But what about the bills? Things don’t pay for themselves you know!” his dad countered.

I nodded. “You’re right. They don’t. I just don’t think Robert is coordinated enough to be anything except a researcher. Maybe he’d make money today as a plumber or an electrician but in the long run he’d be broke. Trades people make it on reputation.” Oh thank you so much, Dumb Emily. Much obliged!

And then his dad did the best thing in the world. He started laughing.

“This one’s got you pegged, Rob! Look out!” he howled.