Desire for you- ALPHA RYAN Book 1

RYAN

I tried to take my mind off it all for a bit, with sleep.... Mission Impossible.

I lay wide awake in my bed, tossing and turning. Especially since rays of sunlight were shining into my room. That didn't make it any better. We had been up all night and I had the feeling that several days had passed.

We had planned everything in one night. Started working on the plan in one night and killed a completely innocent woman in one night. That was just hard. Even Ilay struggled with that.

At least Tristan and Michael didn't have to give each other everything. Michael even found his mate along the way and will probably live happily ever after.

I realized that there was no point in lying around here unnecessarily, so I got up and went to the closet. I took out a jogging suit from Nike and put it on. I brushed my teeth and combed my hair in the bathroom. I had never looked so horrible.

The circles under my eyes were clearly visible. The lack of sleep was clearly getting to me. My mood alone, which was already in the basement, was only getting worse.

Onyx didn't say anything about it, he had undoubtedly become depressed. I mean, I wasn't feeling any better either... I dreaded the thought of going into the realm of vampires. Vampires were sneaky and out for blood. They were ice-cold killers and damn ruthless. Dimitri demanded the heart of an innocent human... That explained everything.

The only question I had at the moment was how Ilay could sleep in this state...

I ran out of the bedroom and went into the kitchen. Maya was already awake and it looked like she'd had a sleepless night too.

"Good morning," I said to her and stood in front of the coffee machine. I poured myself a double espresso and wanted to have a shot of vodka with it. That would at least make it more bearable and sober my thoughts a little.

"You look like you've been run over..." Maya said, sipping from her huge cappuccino cup.

I sighed quietly and waited for the last drop of coffee. "Well, in the end, I practically got run over and crashed into a concrete wall. Sometimes I wish I was back in Arnor's cell and had never met Catherine..." I mumbled to myself.

"We both know that's not true..." Maya put her hand on my shoulder, comforting me. "It's never been easy Ryan... I know you've never had it easy either. But maybe this is the last thing you need to do to be happy?"

I laughed and shook my head, "We have to go to the fucking vampire realm to find Ragnol, just so he can tell us HOW to wake Catherine again. Then there's that damn demon who's already marked her. What if Catherine doesn't want me anymore?" I said desperately and pinched the bridge of my nose.

"Even if he has marked her, Ryan. You were there before him and experienced the things with her that he never will. You must have some faith in your relationship ... At least she hasn't marked him yet, she can still reject him." Maya countered, trying to encourage me.

I didn't know what to say or do anymore, so I just sipped my cup quietly.

"Tristan told me about your plans with the girl... are you seriously going to do this?" She looked at me uncertainly and scratched the back of her head.

"If you mean ripping out the heart of someone who's completely innocent... Then it's already done." I croaked out quietly and stared at the table.

Her eyes widened. Apparently she hadn't expected Ilay to kill someone so quickly.

"You didn't, did you?" she asked quietly. I shook my head "I couldn't bring myself to do it, but Ilay... he did." I had to swallow hard.

"Still, I'm not completely clean Maya, we agreed to it..."

She nodded and stood up "You know Ryan, you're my Alpha, my best friend and my brother, but is it worth it to you guys? How far are you willing to go to save her?" She asked cautiously, biting her lower lip. It was the same topic I had already gone through with Kilian and I didn't know how to answer.

"I don't know, Maya... I hope that was the end of it with the collateral damage." I really hoped, because I didn't have the nerve for more.

"Please promise me that you'll keep your dignity and everything you stand for, Ryan.... Even if it means having to live without a companion." Maya demanded of me, looking at me uncertainly, as if I was about to fly into a rage.

Her words left me speechless. What did I actually stand for? For the good of humanity, the good of my pack, loyalty and honesty? This situation was neither honest nor was it correct in any way. It was all wrong. I bit my lower lip and nodded slowly, "I'll end this, Maya, I promise."

She gave me a final hug and said nothing more.

Behind us, someone suddenly cleared their throat. I turned my head and saw Ilay standing at the door.

"I don't want to interrupt, but I think we should move on. Especially as we both don't seem to be able to sleep..." He said, looking at Maya.

"Good morning to you too, asshole." Maya growled at him, her expression changing from sad to angry. "Put an end to this or I'll put an end to you. That's the last thing I'm going to say to that." She said, completely furious, and stomped out of the kitchen.

I grabbed my forehead and looked at Ilay, who was also wearing a jogging suit, only mine was black and he had a dark gray one.

"I'll get the heart from my office and be right back," I whispered to myself and left my espresso. This was starting off great and would end great too. I didn't know why, but my gut feeling told me that wasn't all there was to it.

In the end, we would have to kill another virgin ox, as perfidious as the vampires were. At least I wouldn't be surprised.

I opened the office door with the key and looked at the cool box on my desk. I took it and ran back down the stairs to Ilay. "We can go for all I care," I said, shrugging my shoulders and sighing. He nodded slightly: "It would be an advantage if Dimitri doesn't know that we're BOTH after our mate. We'll tell him that it's your mate and that you're an old friend of mine. I'll help you and that's all. If he finds out that we're both fighting for the same girl, he'll probably ask for a lot more than a heart. Is that clear?" Ilay said to me warningly.

I looked at him suspiciously and shook my head "You said just a heart, that's all?"

He nodded "Yes, but if he finds out, he'll try to play with us..."

"What if Ragnol tells him?" I said finally, raising my eyebrows.

"Even if Ragnol told him, at least we'd have an answer to our problem and we could escape from there. The point is that Dimitri won't find out. He's the greater evil... He won't show much interest in the companion of a common alpha; on the contrary, he'll try to get rid of us as quickly as possible. I, on the other hand, am a known demon and he will then try to play it off."

I didn't know what to say anymore. I had thought that with this heart all our paths would open up, but that wasn't the case. Well, so be it. I'll at least do my best not to do any damage.

"Are you ready?" Ilay asked me. I just nodded and shook my head with a grin. How could I have ridden myself into this disaster?

Ilay snapped and we had already disappeared again.

We crashed hard onto the ground in Volterra, Italy. This was the famous vampire city with its long-time ruler Dimitri.

"Is everything all right with you? Ilay asked me, standing on his feet and looking down at me. He held out his hand to help me stand up. I shook my head "It's all right, it's not that bad." I said and sat back on my feet.

"Where can we find Dimitri?" I asked and looked around. Volterra was a beautiful old town, too bad it was full of vampires. Italy was a difficult destination for us werewolves, as it was known as the realm of vampires.

Ilay looked over his right shoulder "Well, you see those two men there? If you think they're just standing there by chance, you're wrong. Those are Dimitri's men. They'll lead us to him." He said and turned around once. "This my dear friend is Italy, welcome." He said and clapped his hands once.

He was right. There were indeed two men watching our every move. Vampires were also known to have excellent hearing. The men were both tall and stocky. They also looked like Russians. One had a crooked nose and the other had a huge scar running across his face. Both looked pale and you could tell from a distance that they were vampires.

They looked straight at me and came slowly, sauntering towards us.

"cosa porta qui voi demoni e questo cane?" (What brings you demon and this dog here?) asked the one with the bent nose, looking at us suspiciously.

Ilay smiled at the man as if he had known him for years. "Stiamo cercando Ragnol, anche qualcosa per Dimitri" (We are looking for Ragnol and have something for Dimitri) said Ilay and nodded towards the chest, which was in my hands.

"I know how business is done here, Matteo, save your Italian, because my friend here doesn't have much time. Take us to Dimitri." Ilay demanded and was now the one with the grim look on his face.

Matteo laughed and shook his head "Ilay, Ilay... always the impatient one. That hasn't changed after all these years. Well, if that's what you want, then follow me." Matteo said and waved after him. We ran after him and after a ten-minute walk we entered a monastery. I looked at Ilay with irritation and felt visibly uncomfortable with all the vampires staring at us. Ilay, on the other hand, looked like the rock in the surf, Superman, afraid of nothing.

The corridors were dark, it smelled musty like a church, but it was surprisingly clean.

There were candles all along the sides of the aisles and it looked almost eerie with the high ceilings.

We stopped in front of a door made of solid wood and it took a minute for the door to open. We ran after Matteo and when we got to the front, he stood by Dimitri's side.

That was him, Dimitri.

I had to stifle a laugh.

That. Was. Dimitri?! Dimitri remained calm and eyed us both.

Ilay looked at me with narrowed eyes.

'You're risking both our heads if you start laughing right now. Do we understand each other?' He said warningly and finally held out his hand to Dimitri. Apparently Ilay had read my thoughts about Dimitri.

Dimitri didn't look like a young, crisp vampire, on the contrary, he looked like my great-great-grandfather, thin and frail. What could he do to us?

'That's a facade, you fool, now pull yourself together."

"Dimitri, this is my friend Ryan. We've come because we need Ragnol's advice." Ilay said, shaking Dimitri's hand and making room for me to do the same.

I extended my hand to Dimitri and shook it as well, "Ryan Hamilton, Alpha of the Black Moon pack." Even though we werewolves loathed vampires so much, I had to pull myself together by the king of them.

"Pleased to meet you, Alpha, have a seat." Dimitri said, offering us seats on two chairs that had been placed almost silently by the staff.

Ilay nodded to me and we both sat down. Dimitri looked at us. "Well, it's rare for an Alpha to show his face in Volterra, especially as you surely know what's at stake?" Dimitri said, hinting at the peace treaty with his words.

Did I really know what was at stake? Apparently not really. Was I about to do it anyway? The answer was yes.

I forced myself to nod and looked at Dimitri "I am well aware of what is at stake... However, I did not come here with the intention of harming any vampire. My companion Catherine, she is in trouble."

Dimitri listened to me intently and raised his eyebrows "Oh yeah? In trouble then..." he commented on what I had said.

I nodded slightly, "She's in some kind of coma, we need Ragnol's knowledge to free her."

Dimitri rubbed at his gray beard and pretended to think about it. "Let's say I lead you to Ragnol, what's in it for me?" He asked, his eyes gleaming greedily at us.

Ilay put his elbows on his knees and glared at Dimitri.

"We have a pure heart for you." Ilay replied and looked at him seriously.

Dimitri laughed and shook his head "You actually found a pure heart? That's rare in this day and age, almost impossible in fact... But tell me, Ilay, why are you here? Getting you here is a rarity and we both know that." Dimitri looked amused and leaned back in his throne.

"Ryan is a friend of my family and asked me for help. I was in a good mood and figured I could do him this one favor..." As Ilay delivered his words to Dimitri, I watched how controlled Ilay's features were, he had his poker face on and if I didn't know better, he'd go all in.

Dimitri smiled and smirked at the same time.

"You haven't found your mate yet?" He asked Ilay, also leaning forward to look at him more closely.

"I haven't found her in over a thousand years, Dimitri, and I probably won't for the next thousand. I've been condemned to go a lifetime without, so what the hell." Ilay shrugged his shoulders and sighed.

"For someone who is immortal, a lifetime can truly be permanent.... And now I want to see the heart..." Dimitri turned his gaze to my hands and grinned at me.

This was really getting better and better...