Chasing Rainbows

Emma was trying to focus, firstly on where she was...and why, her last memory was the restaurant, with Theo, even the thought of him made her grimace. There’d been photographers. Shit. Her eyes snapped open in fear.

                “Photographers...” she mumbled, and the words were rewarded with a scowl from Jacob.

                “In amongst hurting me like this, you’re still thinking of yourself? You can be such a bitch! I’ve sorted the photographers; no pictures of you looking less than ideal will be published. So you can sink back into your self-absorbed world.”

Emma struggled to focus on him, and his anger, everything was so confusing, “why are you angry?”

Jacob leaned forward so his face was close to hers, “really? You ask me that?”

Emma flinched, pushing herself back into the bed, then closed her eyes, the throbbing in her head made her want to cry, it was unremitting, did she fall? Is that why she ended up here?

                “Did I fall? How have I hurt my head?” A deft touch to her skull revealed a thick dressing and hair matted with blood. She hated the not knowing, almost as much as she hated the animosity in Jacob’s eyes. Opening hers she met his unrelenting stare again, “what happened?”

Taking a deep breath he leaned back, giving her back her personal space and she appreciated the move.

                “You fainted, outside the restaurant, banging your head. Paramedics brought you here.”

Her eyes studied him searching for any more clues, any reason why he was here, why he hated her so much, and what happened next.

Jacob was struggling to stay angry, she’d ignored his comments about the baby, and that annoyed him, when the doctor had informed him that the baby was fine he’d been stunned. He had no idea what to think and he’d used the half an hour whilst they stitched her head to work out what he did think. He’d never envisaged the moment that he contemplated fatherhood, maybe that was what the constant battering from his parents had caused, but now, all he could imagine was their stunned faces when he told them...if he told them.

He wanted to scream at Emma for not telling him, for the fact that he found out by accident. But she looked so vulnerable, so small, so scared lying in bed that he was finding it hard not to pull her into his arms and tell her everything would be ok.

                “Were you going to tell me about the baby?” He finally managed, emotion choking his words.

Emma’s eyes snapped up and she looked stunned, “what are you talking about?”

Jacob took a moment to decide whether or not she knew about this, fifteen weeks the doctor had told him, who could not know about that? Emma was an actor, that’s what she did; this could just about be the best performance of her career.

                “The baby Emma, I’m not stupid, and to be honest I expected more of you.”

He tossed the wad of images that the sonograph had spewed out earlier, whilst she was still recovering from her head injury.

                “I don’t know what you’re talking about, and I’d like you to leave please.”

                “Oh no!” He shook his head, “no way. That’s exactly what you want, and I’m not letting you run away like this, not again, and not with my baby.”

Emma flinched every time he said the word baby, this was all so surreal, she wanted to close her eyes and find a place where she could think out of his scrutiny, away from his glare. She didn’t know what he was talking about, but then she knew he wasn’t a man to lie, could she be pregnant? She was on the pill, she had been for years, and she rarely had a period when she took them, when was the last one? Her mind was a blur, a vague mash of the last few months, and details weren’t coming to her consciousness clearly. Could she be pregnant? They’d had more sex than she knew was right, than they should have, Jacob had been careful every time, hadn’t he? It was more than she could remember. Suddenly she was aware of his scrutiny.

                “Jacob please...”

It was at that point the nurse entered the room, “Emma, I’m so glad you’re awake. How are you feeling?”

She smiled weakly at the nurse, “can you make him leave please? It’s all a bit much.”

The nurse nodded, “Mr Cohen, the doctor needs to see Emma now, could you give us a minute?”

Jacob looked between the two women and knew he’d been manipulated, “I’ll go and get a coffee, but I will be back.” He gave a warning glance then left the room.

                “It’s not uncommon to find yourself quite advanced in a pregnancy before you realise Emma,” the woman who’d introduced herself as Doctor Forster sat on the edge of the bed and smiled at her. “Your concussion was pretty major, but you’ve recovered well. We’ll want to observe you for the rest of the day, but as long as you’re not planning to spend the night alone, then you should be able to go home later.”

                “The baby...” she breathed.

The doctor grinned again, “despite everything, you’re fit and healthy and the baby looks well. There’s an issue that your blood pressure is a bit low, that is probably why you fainted, so you’ll need an obstetrician to keep an eye on you, I can recommend one if you don’t have a preference.”

Emma slumped back against her pillow and nodded, this was all so surreal, all so strange, and all so final. Smiling as the doctor left the room, she looked up at the nurse, “my husband is a little anxious, can you just let me have some time alone first?”

She nodded, “I’ll tell him you’re asleep.”

Emma wished Isobel was there, she’d know what to say, what to do, instead she was across the Atlantic, due back from her honeymoon at any moment. She missed her friend every day, but today she missed her more than ever. What would she say? She’d be pleased. They’d both had many conversations about children, it was on both their agenda’s, she’d just presumed that her married and in love friend would be first, but then she had always thought that Isobel would be married first, as usual Chaos Emma ruins everything yet again. Then there was Jacob, the last time he’d seen him had been when he’d lied to her, told her he was somewhere, turned up somewhere else. Why would he do that? He had no reason lie to her, they weren’t lifelong loves, or even friends, he had no need to not be honest. And now they were being thrown back together again.

She was having a baby, the thought terrified her, then there was Jacob, his face, his disbelief, his anger. He honestly thought she was keeping this from him, when nothing could be further from the truth. She had no clue, she was in shock.

Lifting one of the grainy pictures up she stared in amazement at the image, their baby, her baby...she gasped, her hand flying to her mouth, this was real, this was happening.

The door opened and she pulled herself out of her misery to look up at the nurse, but it wasn’t the nurse, it was Jacob. And that was all too much, she needed time, space. Groaning she turned her head away from him, fighting to hide the tears of desperation that threatened to fall.

She sensed him sitting beside her and closed her eyes firmly.

                “You can pretend I’m not here, pretty much in the way that you’ve pretended you’re not pregnant, but both are cold, hard facts. So you’d better get used to the idea that you can’t push me away any more. The doctor tells me I can take you home in a few hours.”

                “I have a place to live, thank you very much,” confronting him on the perceived deception of their baby was too painful. He laughed then, causing her to snap her head around and glare at him, “what? What now?”

He shook his head slowly, “you seem to think that nothing has changed, that you can go off to dream world Emma and forget about this? But you can’t.”

                “You seem to think you can control me, but I am a person too. And to be honest with you Jacob Coren, I am a lot more than just your wife!”

That got a rouse out if him, “I know that, but you are my responsibility, whether you like it or not. You think you can head home, but how and where are you going to live? Go back home to Mom and Dad, disrupt their retirement? Or do you imagine that the money you have earned on this show will last forever? That you can both afford to run than abomination you call an apartment indefinitely, and that it is suitable for a baby? Have you even thought what happens when you finish filming?”

She gulped, she had thought, of course she had, this was going to be the leapfrog on to the Hollywood ladder, this production with the links through Theo was going to be the start of something. Instead, she’d have to take time out, time away from auditioning. Jacob was right about one thing, things were about to change, and she had to seriously think about what that meant.

                “I’m not about to be bundled up by you Jacob, you have been trying to control me since the moment I smashed your mother’s vase in that shopping mall in Vegas, and I’m not about to roll over and let you boss me around.”

Jacob groaned, she really was too stubborn for her own good, “I am anything but bossy, and to be honest, I think I’m the only one of us thinking practically.”

There was nothing guaranteed to annoy Emma more than someone being so self righteous, that was only compounded by that someone being Jacob, and quite truthfully, if she was feeling anger towards him, then she didn’t have to process everything else, their baby, their marriage and frighteningly their future.

                “I think you should leave. I don’t need you shouting at me Jacob, this is a difficult day for me and I have the headache from absolute hell. I’m staying in Santa Monica, come tomorrow and we can talk then.”

It was the best she could offer, and she knew that Jacob wouldn’t agree, but as he made to protest she added, “I need to relax, I don’t need this hassle...”

It was a cheap and low gibe, but she needed all the help she could muster in this situation.

                “Ok, I get that.” He finally succumbed, “I’m not going to push you, but I am not letting you go home alone, in fact the doctor insisted you need company after your ordeal. So, there’s no chance of you not being with me tonight, the true question is, are we staying at your apartment, or my hotel?”