Chasing Cthulhu (Urf Oomons #2)

I wake up and that’s the good news. I’m alive.

The bad news is that I’m in a cage. Again! It’s like a giant dog crate, with bars on the sides and front. It keeps being lifted, moved, and set back down.

My alien captor keeps giving me cookies that I immediately throw back out at him. He’ll laugh, make alien noises at me that I can’t understand because he stole my translator, and then he wags a finger at me.

This fucking bastard is so pleased with himself.

There’s another alien here somewhere. I keep hearing them speak, but I haven’t seen them yet. They’re probably the same species because they hiss and growl in the same language.

I know that he can understand me because he still has his implant, even if I don’t have my translator. Instead of answering me when I ask why he’s kidnapped me and where he’s taking me, he just tries to give me more cookies and makes noises at me.

When I flip him off and tell him to go fuck himself, he laughs at me some more.

Eventually, I’m loaded onto a shuttle and flown down to a planet’s surface. It is a desert. Sand and rocks as far as I can see in one direction. There is a little town with roads and buildings and houses in the other direction.

My cage is on a hover-cart that follows my kidnapper down a narrow road and up to a house.

The houses are all the same color as the sand which is a dark tan. They’re boring, like tan boxes with little windows and doors.

He must be expected because when he stands in front of a door, it just opens and the lizard-alien who opens it is delighted, just ecstatic to see us. They clap their hands and make excited noises and call over their shoulder. Two more lizard-aliens come to the door and are equally happy to see us.

There is some discussion and eventually the alien that brought me here leaves.

This is bad news. I mean, I hate the kidnapping bastard, but every time I’m moved or change hands, I’m that much further away from being rescued. Fortunately, I’m one hundred percent sure I’m eventually going to be rescued. Because Lu is obsessed with me and totally in love with me. He’s not going to let me stay kidnapped. I know this for an absolute fact.

Thinking about Lu makes me feel kind of down though because right after we had sex, I blew him off. We cuddled on the medbay table for a moment, but then I got up and went to the bathroom. Went for a snack and back to my room to nap until we got to the station. I’m conflicted about the whole alien-sex thing. I needed that snack and a nap. It’s hard to admit to myself, but it was the best, hottest sex I ever had. What does that mean? Why would I enjoy it more with a tentacled alien guy than a regular human guy?

I needed space, just to think it over.

I’m such an asshole. I’m pretty sure that was his first time and it’s so obvious how he feels about me and me just—

Anyway, whenever he rescues me, I’m going to fix it. I’m going to be so sweet to him. He’s going to be the happiest freaking alien in the whole universe, I’ll make sure of it.

But then an awful thought occurs to me. What if Lu thinks I left on purpose? What if Mandy and everyone else think that, too, and they don’t come looking for me? What will happen here with these lizard-aliens?

No, they have to know better.

Instead of going into the house I’ve just been delivered to, the two lizard-aliens, who are both a dull red, close the door and start making their way down the street with the hover-cart my dog-crate is on following them.

We pass by a few other lizard-aliens, and I try to yell for help, but they either don’t understand me or don’t care. We get to a giant house. Where all the other houses look like sandstone cubes, this one looks like at least twenty of those all stuck together.

My captors stand quietly in front of this door for a good thirty seconds before it opens and the lizard guy that opens it is not happy. In fact, he looks kind of serious? Formal? I decide that he’s a butler.

‘Help!’ I yell at him, grabbing the bars of my cage. ‘I’ve been kidnapped! Help me!’

He just moves to the side and motions that I and my kidnappers should come in. We move through several rooms until my cage is set up in a corner.

Then the two red lizard guys leave.

The butler leaves.

This is bad. I’ve been moved to three different locations and changed hands twice. Lu, Mandy, and Ken might not be able to find me. If I ever get back, I’m going to ask for some kind of tracking chip or shot or something. Then even if my translator is gone, I could still be found. I mean, I’ve had some bad luck with abductions lately. First those men at the beach house, then those gray aliens, then those government people, and now these lizard-aliens. I need a tracking implant.

I hear footsteps padding toward me and I look up expecting the lizard-alien butler or another one like him, but it’s not.

It’s a human. A naked human man. A really good-looking one.

I’m so shocked that I don’t even say anything. He doesn’t notice me at first and I have time to study him. He is muscular, like an underwear-model level of fit. He has medium brown skin and short black hair that is tightly curled. His skin is perfect, like all of it, and I can see all of it, it’s flawless and shiny with some kind of oil. His hair, too. He has sharp cheekbones and a strong jawline, generous lips, and a slightly wide nose. Very strong, handsome features. This might be the most attractive guy I have ever seen in person. When he finally looks up from the tablet he’s carrying and notices me, I see that his eyes are a warm, light brown and his lashes are so long. How come men always have the longest, thickest eyelashes? That’s just not fair.

He holds his tablet closer to his face and says, ‘Call Sal.’

I hear a hissing growl come from the tablet, then Human Guy says, ‘Sal, there’s a human woman in a cage in the study.’

Even his voice is attractive, one of those very deep, rich masculine voices.

More hissing and growling from the tablet.

‘Okay. I’ll stay with her.’

He comes closer to my cage and peers inside. I notice that he’s wearing a band of silver mesh around his neck with a D-shaped ring attached. Like a dog collar. He asks, ‘Are you alright?’

‘No! I’ve been kidnapped!’ I tell him. ‘Please get me out.’

He runs his hands all over the cage trying to figure out how to open it, but he finally gives up and says, ‘Sal will open it. He should be here soon.’

‘Is Sal one of the lizard-aliens?’

He nods.

‘I don’t—’

I shut up because just then a very fancy lizard-alien walks in. He’s leaf-green and all of his scales shine. He has jewelry, armbands, belts, bracelets, necklaces, and rings. All swirling designs of shiny silver. He even has a few silver bands encircling his tail.

The guy steps away from my cage to talk to him.

He growls and hisses at the human as he pets his head and combs his claws through his tightly curled hair.

The guy seems to lean into it.

I’m starting to get a bad feeling.

The guy says, ‘Well, she needs a translation cuff, and she wants out of this cage.’

More growling and hissing.

‘Okay, well, go get it. I’ll stay with her.’

The lizard looks slightly affronted but turns and leaves the room anyway.

‘So, bad news first.’ the guy says.

‘Okay.’

‘You’re going to have to take those clothes off. It’s considered extremely insulting to cover up your body on this planet.’

‘Well, I consider it extremely insulting to kidnap me, steal my translator, and lock me in a cage!’

He laughs showing off straight white teeth. I don’t know what he thinks is so funny.

‘The good news,’ he says. ‘Is that Sal bought you as a gift. For me.’

He comes right up to my cage and peers inside at me. ‘Don’t worry. I’m going to be real nice to you.’