Black Blood

I turn around in one quick movement and look at Maria in surprise. She is staring at the floor with an uneasy pose, her hands are intertwined and her cheeks have developed a light pink colour. I take a few steps in her direction to encourage communication.

‘Yes?’ I ask interestedly. She already seems to regret the reason she called me. The dilemma is clearly playing out in her body. She hops back and forth on her feet, unable to say anything.

I take a few steps closer, which makes her doubt even more. She seems to take a breath of air and then looks in my direction.

‘Is there any nightwear anywhere?’ How stupid can I be not to think about that. She slept in this dress last time and I can imagine that’s not comfortable.

‘Yes, of course. I’ll just ask Lilia,’ I reply quickly. Maria smiles slightly and nods. In my head I think about where Lilia could be at this time of day.

Without looking back at Maria I walk towards Lilia’s bedroom and the other servants. You might wonder whether it’s a good idea to walk unannounced into a bedroom full of ladies at night, yet I don’t care for a second. I walk to the end of the long corridor, turn the corner and stop in front of the last door. Without knocking, I pull open the door and walk in.

‘Novak!’ In the large room there are about six bunk beds, all filled with sleeping ladies. One of the ladies, whose name I don’t know, looks in my direction with a start. Her black hair sits on her head like a bird’s nest and her eyes look tired. Lilia is sitting on the bottom bunk at the end of the row of beds. Her blonde hair hangs down like straw from her face, her blue eyes look puzzled and she is veiled in nothing more than a nightgown.

‘I need a nightgown.’ My strange request seems to awaken the other ladies as well. Some try to cover up their bodies with the blankets, others find it so hard to comprehend my presence that they stare at me with petrified eyes. I look at Lilia expectantly at my, somewhat strange, request. I don’t even let my eyes go over the half-naked bodies, I’m not interested. Lilia seems least affected by my presence and gets up from her bed.

She walks silently to the cupboard at the back of the room. She pulls open the cupboard and takes a nightdress from a hanger. The cupboard is a complete mess of clothes, something I didn’t expect from servants. The clothes are crammed into the wardrobe, items of clothing almost falling off the hangers. The only decent thing are a couple of nightgowns hanging on a hanger. Lilia comes running back sighing and pushes the nightdress into my hand.

‘Knock next time or stay away,’ she mutters irritably. I look at her gratefully. Although Lilia is a servant, she’s not mute. She has a recipe for me, maybe even awe, but she stands up for herself. She is a strong woman, something I admire.

‘Thank you,’ I say sincerely. She gives me a little smile before I turn around and leave the ladies alone again. I close the door behind me and run a hand through my dark blonde hair.

I make my way back towards the guest room. I still don’t know how to deal with Maria, what limits she has. I would never touch another lady without a reason but with her I have the feeling that one metre is already too close. I try to find an explanation for her behaviour and appearance, even if it is the simplest thing my head can muster. I dare not believe my darkest thoughts are true, that she has been abused. Her entire relationship with contact seems twisted, something I know from stories of rape and abuse. It would be easier if she would open her mouth, explain or give her real name at all. I want to know who the lady is, what her origins and story are.

I am so absorbed in my thoughts that I enter the guest room without knocking, knocking does not seem to be my strongest point today. Maria’s brown eyes look at me in surprise. She has taken a seat at the foot of the bed, her legs hanging over the edge and her feet just touching the floor.

‘Uuhm sorry I have a nightgown.’ I hesitate to close the door behind me. I don’t want to make her uncomfortable but also don’t want to wake up the whole house.

Maria gets up from the bed and walks awkwardly in my direction, her ankle seems to be bothering her again. I stare at her legs and don’t know what to say. As soon as she is in front of me, I hand her the nightgown, which she gratefully takes from my hand. My eyes wander across the room and linger on the fireplace that has gone out. The cold doesn’t bother me much, I don’t even feel it. As soon as I look at Maria’s arms, I see that they are covered with goose bumps.

‘I’ll light the fire.’ She nods uncomfortably, lets her eyes go from me to the nightdress. Only after a few seconds do I catch her eye.

‘There’s a bathroom behind that door if you want to change, I can leave too.’ I don’t have any experience with, probably, abused ladies and I don’t know how to deal with it. I stand here, completely uncomfortable, with a piece of wood in my hand.

‘Uuhm yes I’m going to the bathroom.’ She walks uncomfortably towards the door on the right side of the bedroom. She opens the door and disappears into the bathroom.

I sigh and run a hand through my hair and turn to the fireplace. I take my box of matches out of my pocket. Next to the fireplace is a chest full of pieces of wood, both small and large. I take a few small pieces and a large one out of the chest. In the middle of the fireplace, I make a campfire formation. I go over the sandpaper with a new match and light the small pieces of wood. I blow a few times and the fire burns full.

I am surprised when I notice that Maria has not finished changing. I try to listen to her heartbeat to see if everything is going well. It takes a few seconds before I can hear her heartbeat and notice that it is going quite fast. A sense of worry takes over my body as my feet automatically move towards the bathroom. The closer I get, the better I can hear her heartbeat.

Her breathing is irregular, her heartbeat high. Maybe I shouldn’t be listening so much, maybe I shouldn’t care so much. Yet here I am at the door listening.

‘Goddammed.’ I am surprised to hear the words coming from Maria’s mouth. She didn’t strike me as a lady of coarse language.

‘Maria? Are you alright?’ It has left my mouth before I know it. Her heartbeat seems to shoot up as soon as she hears my voice. I don’t know whether to knock on the door or wait for an answer, but luckily I don’t have to think for long.

The door is opened slowly. Maria stands in the doorway with red cheeks, an uncomfortable look on her face. She stares at me in silence, seemingly searching for the words. I don’t know what to do except stare back. Her eyes are fixed on the floor, she bites her lip,

‘I can’t get...the strings.’ It comes out of her mouth so softly that I’m glad my hearing is so good. She fiddles with her nails. I don’t seem to realise what she means. What strings? I let my eyes slide over her body to see what she means and then I realise what’s going on.

‘Come on, I’ll help.’ She seems to hesitate for a moment at my request but then takes a few steps in my direction and turns around. It all becomes even clearer to me when I see two ropes on her back, threaded through dozens of rings. The row runs from her neck to her lower back, no wonder she can’t get it open.