Abandoned (Born From Shadows #2)

Hollow. Frozen in solitude, loneliness was overrunning Tatianna’s mind. She missed her dagger, which was taken from her side along with the protection it offered. She missed Nylif’s fur to blanket her during the long sleepless nights. She missed Freya’s warmth and Riley’s intrepidity. She missed everything and wished she had never come to the hellhole she was now trapped in. The cloak she had had since she was a child was the only constant left, along with the necklace her hand was always latched onto.

Tatianna sat in the corner of the cold cell, her knees firmly pressed against her chest and her head looking at the floor. There were no lights to tell her what creatures crawled over her feet. She could only imagined the amount of time that had passed.

The first few days she had spent screaming. Yelling and shouting as they threw her into the cage like a rabid animal. Her throat was too dry now to make a sound, even if she wanted to. They had not fed her nor given her any water. She was an Elf, after all, she could live without such comforts. She could live without the sunlight, without a bed or anything except the plain stone that confined her.

Never in her life had she felt so hungry. She could feel every bone on her rib cage and every ounce of muscle she once possessed had vanished. She didn’t even know if she could stand up. Hadn’t bothered to try. She couldn’t cry, she couldn’t move, she was just a vacuous object.

Her thoughts drifted from the betrayal to the Queen, to her parents. They kept drifting from one thing to another like a piece of rubbish in the ocean. The air was stale but she did not mind. When she started to see things, she didn’t mind that either. Her care for the world slowly diminished with each passing day, and she found herself forgetting things. Her hallucinations became reality and reality became the dream. She still clung to the wolf around her neck as a reminder of who she was.

Look at it, a voice called from the darkness. She recognised it. It was male and disgusted by her. Who wouldn’t be?

A monster in its true form. She wanted to protest. She wasn’t a monster, she was good. Then when she looked up, she saw his dark skin. His face was battered and cut. You did this to me, he said but his mouth made no effort to move.

She couldn’t deny it. She was the one who killed him. He was her friend and she killed him. You were only nine, but age doesn’t matter to a monster. You were born cruel, he said. His dark skin faded away but she could still hear his words. All of their words. Chaos in her eardrums drove her further and further away from her sanity. She tried to pray their words away, but she couldn’t silence them.

Storm, a particular voice shone through the rest. It was Nik’s voice, a voice she could never forget. Her eyes searched the tenebrosity for him only to see a burnt corpse. You didn’t save me. You left me like a heartless animal. No wonder you never told me you loved me. You were a monster all along.

She couldn’t stand it, she wanted to cry but she couldn’t. She just wanted it all to stop. She wanted the pain to peregrinate away, begged it to leave her soul but it was latched on like a parasite. His shadow and voice drifted off back into the cloud of hate. Her hand left her necklace for the first time and covered her ears. The chain between her wrist hit her face as she pushed and pushed against all the voices.

“Finally lost it have you?” One voice said but for some reason, it sounded different from the rest. “Mother said you would go mad.”

Was that voice real, was that why it was different? It was male of that she could tell, but everything else was just a blur.

“Not saying anything?” It asked her. Was she supposed to reply? None of the other voices wished her to open her mouth. They would all rather she died than said another word. “I can’t believe her plans. They are absolute bullshit, you’re fucking psycho,” he repined. She didn’t understand what he was saying, but she also did not care. It didn’t matter to her, nothing did except for a release. The voice faded away and was replaced by the countless others telling her lies. She wanted them to be lies, but she knew they were the truth deep down. She decided to give in to it. Give into the pain instead of trying to fight it, perhaps that would offer the release she craved. Denying it could only last so long.

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Light, blinding light flooded into the room and burnt her eyes. She tucked her head into her cloak unable to stand the effulgence of the room. Two hands hoisted her from the ground, but her feet did not work causing them to drag her. She still couldn’t see anything when they pushed her down onto what she assumed was a chair. The hands left her arms, but she knew the guards had not left her presence.

Eventually, everything went from white to black to shapes that she could see. A woman stood in front of her, elegant and confident. She was familiar but Tatianna didn’t dare search her mind for the memory of her. “Tatianna, what a problem you have caused for me. If you had died as a child like you were supposed to, we wouldn’t be in this mess,” the woman spoke.

Tatianna noted the crown upon her head and realised it was the Queen. She knew that she should feel angry at her, feel mad, but she felt nothing.

She wanted to say, “then kill me,” but her words still didn’t work.

Of course, you want to die you coward, one of the many voices around her grumbled. She did not tell it to shut up.

“My son said you had gone mad. I think not, you are close to it though,” the Queen paused, “I have been weighing out all my option these past few months on what to do with you. I originally planned to just keep you locked down there for eternity and once a year let you go outside, but the people haven’t been very happy with that. So, I have decided that you will marry my son.”

Marry? Did she even care? A part of her wondered if it was better to rot in the dungeon but then she realised this would give her some sort of release. She should be happy about this; she should feel many things that she didn’t.

“Your silence is pleasant. When you marry my son you will become a Princess, how exciting, but you will only do and say as I command. Every action you take will be watched and your legs will constantly be shackled, hidden beneath a long dress. Everything you do will be regulated; do you understand?”

This is what you deserve, to be chained up, one voice shinned out. Tatianna nodded her head in compliance.

“Good.” The Queen turned to her guards, “Take her to the bathing chambers, scrub her clean and burn the clothes she is wearing. Make her look pretty. Also, bring Tyrion to me, that is all.”

Once again, she was dragged around, treated more like a doll than a person. She felt bare as they ripped her clothes from her, but she did not care. When they removed her necklace and cloak something deep down wanted to protest but she did not. Her skin burned as they scrubbed it raw, but she only welcomed the pain.

They removed the shackles from her wrists and placed new ones on her ankles. A long red dress fell upon her shoulders. She couldn’t recognise herself, everything she had loved was gone.

They then dragged her to another room, prepped and ready to meet her fiancé.