A Malice Heart

What is love?

This question was one that not many could answer correctly because each person had their own given definition for it.

Love can be seen as affection towards another person; it could be seen as a place for change and growth; it could be a feeling of comfort when the world makes you anxious, or it could be a mess that only makes life worse.

Even as the two walked through the paths outside of the palace, the wind dying down and allowing the sun to warm their skins, Malice could still not define exactly what love was to him. It was a thought that haunted him last night as he lay in bed with Drew in his arms, wondering what form of love he was experiencing.

Was it possible to experience different forms of love all together? If not, then what was this feeling that made his chest ache?

As he looked at Drew, Malice couldn’t help but smile at the sight of this beautiful girl that had changed his life so much. He had come to realize that even though she may not have made him a better person and a better king for the kingdom, she made him feel better, and she didn’t notice it yet. She didn’t understand just how much she had saved him.

‘There is something wrong with him,’ his mother had once said, and she was right. If a woman like Drew couldn’t change him, then no one could.

Drew clenched his arm from beside her, holding on tighter as if she could sense his thoughts. Malice’s other hand held the basket where they placed all kinds of foods, all of them being mostly Drew’s favorites, and drinks. She had wished to stay here as long as possible, and Malice agreed. He could still sense that sadness within her but ignored it. Instead, the king leaned down and kissed the top of her head, the softness of her hair tingling his face.

“Couldn’t get enough, huh?” she muttered with a grin as they reached their spot.

“Never,” he replied, setting down the basket.

It was a beautiful area surrounded by tall plants that encircled a miniature pond. The waters were clean enough to take a swim in, but the weather was still too cold.

Malice had visited this part of the palace only a few times when he was younger, running as far away from his parents as he could whenever they’d punished him for something he did. It was usually a punishment well deserved, but he had his rebellious phases.

Drew unraveled the blanket they brought along and sat down carefully on top of it so she doesn’t ruin her dress. Today she chose to wear a beautiful yellow dress with miniature flower prints on it that reached down to her knees and long sleeves that kept her warm from the cold breezes that came now and then.

Malice looked up at the sky, watching as the birds flew over them and chirped to one another, lighting up the environment around them with nature’s music. As the king looked back down at Drew, he noticed her hands slightly shaking as she took out the food from the basket.

He placed his own hand on hers, stilling her. “Breath. You’re fine.”

She allowed a faint grin, one that showed for a second before disappearing right away, yet her hands seized shaking.

Good.

Malice took this moment to look back towards his home, the tall palace looking much better than it had last time he got a full view of it. The cleaners washed off all the grime they could from it to allow the beautiful beige color of the stones that held it together to be shown off. The windows were so clean that he could even see the chandeliers that hung inside the palace halls. All of that at the palm of his hand.

His thoughts were paused at the sudden sound of a blade being drawn, slowly and wearily.

He directed his attention to the sound, eyes wide as Drew sat there before him, doing her best to hold back tears, gripping a dagger to the side of her form.

There was pain in her gaze, a mix of feelings that he couldn’t even start naming. All he wanted to do was move closer to her and hold her.

As Malice looked from Drew to the dagger, he couldn’t come up with any words to say. From the day he had given her her dagger back, he’d intended her to use it against him.

He wanted her to realize, to understand, that this was the only way.

However, as they stared at each other, Malice was surprised to see her pull her dagger towards her before flinging it as far away from them as possible.

Malice looked out to where the blade dropped into the pond beside them and disappeared into the deep abyss of it, never to be found again.

So many thoughts were flooding inside his head, yet none seemed to make sense.

He turned to the woman before him, eye’s weary as he whispered. “Why? Why not kill me now and be done with this kingdom’s suffering?”

At that, a sly smile spread across her damp face, her eyes red with either anger or sadness. He wasn’t sure. “I’ve contemplated that since the day you gave me my dagger back. Since you’ve started acting stranger than usual. I realized what you wanted me to do and it made me feel so angry that you would rather have me kill you than try to solve this problem.”

Malice opened his mouth, but closed it before he could say anything. Lowering his gaze.

“So I sat and thought,” Drew continued. “Thought of what to do with you. Want to know why? Because I’ve grown attached to you. I have feelings for you, Malice,” his head shot upwards at her words, eyes growing damp, “whether you like it or not, I’m incapable of taking your life. Earlier, I wanted to see if I would hesitate, and I did. I hesitated to kill you—”

Drew’s words were caught short as Malice reached out to her and pulled her towards him, wrapping his arms around her. He realized now that he wanted nothing but to be next to her, to be with her. He wanted Drew to stay by his side, and without her, he would rather die.

She didn’t hesitate to wrap her own arms around him and hugged him closely, borrowing her head into his neck, shaking.

Malice caressed her back in an attempt to soothe her. He hated himself so much for making her feel this. For putting this burden upon this woman.

‘I have feelings for you, Malice.’

She had confessed to him. When he had thought that no one out there would ever love him, would ever care for him, he was proven wrong.

And the evidence was right in his arms, safe and protected.

“I’ve grown feelings for you too, Drew,” he muttered into her hair, squeezing her tighter.

He now knew exactly what love was. What it meant.

To him, it was a feeling of warmth. Of comfort. Of knowing that you are not alone. When walking down a road, there will always be someone holding your hand. That person is the one you keep closest to your heart.

Malice’s own heart beated rapidly inside his chest as these feelings flourished.

Drew pulled herself backwards, her tears leaving a wet mark from where her head laid, and looked up into his eyes, her own shining with such brightness. That same brightness he had missed seeing.

Malice couldn’t stop himself from leaning down towards her, so their faces were mere inches apart, watching as she tilted her head upwards to him and her eyes fluttered shut.

He didn’t wait another second before meeting her lips with his own, feeling Drew’s arms wrap around his neck and pulling him even closer to her as she did before.

There were so many words that the two traded with this single kiss, wishes and promises for a future together. For a future where the two of them would get to live happily side by side.

This was a moment that Malice never wanted to leave or forget. A memory that will live on in his mind forever. A guarantee from the woman he loves.

The wind blew around them as they fell onto the blanket below them, laughing in between kisses. Laughter. He hadn’t felt this much joy in so long. To smile and laugh and cry and love.