A Heart So Fierce and Broken (The Cursebreaker Series Book 2)

By the time night begins to give way to dawn, exhaustion has sunk its claws into all of us. We are given the finest rooms in the finest inn that Blind Hollow has to offer. I have a small room to myself, and a platter of food has been left beside a roaring hearth. The innkeeper brings buckets of warmed water for washing, along with clean clothes and a set of combs for my hair. After days of trudging through the woods, I am glad for the simple blue dress with a laced bodice.

Once I am clean and clothed, though, sleep seems to linger a long way off. I sit before the fire and press a trembling hand to my neck. Noah applied a bandage, but it’s still sore.

No man has ever put a weapon to my throat. Not even when Rhen’s guards captured me.

A soft knock raps at my door, and I jump. For the first time in my life, I regret my lack of guards—my lack of weapons. I’m frozen in place.

A voice calls from the other side, soft in the early-morning silence. “It’s Grey.”

I release a relieved breath and move to open the door. Grey has clearly been offered similar hospitalities. He’s clean-shaven for the first time since we met in Rhen’s castle, and his dark hair is damp and tousled. His trudging clothes have been replaced with fresh dark trousers and a loose knit shirt. He’s kept all his weapons, I see.

I cannot decide which Grey I like more: rugged, with work-roughened hands and shadowed features in the dim light of a campfire, or this Grey, keen and sharp with eyes that see everything.

He seems surprised to find me at the door. “The others are sleeping. I thought you might be as well.”

I shake my head.

He touches a finger to my chin. “You were injured.”

My heart flutters, and I slap a hand over the bandage on my neck. “Hardly.” My voice has gone breathy, both from remembered fear and attraction, and I have to clear my throat.

If he offers to heal it, I will refuse. His exhaustion is so potent I can almost feel it myself.

His hand drops anyway. “Iisak is watching from the roof. After they doubled back once, we suspect the soldiers will return with reinforcements.” He pauses. “We cannot stay here. I will not bring bloodshed upon this town again.”

I raise my eyebrows. “Does this mean you will not sleep?”

“It does.”

I step back and hold open my door. “Do you care to come in?”

He hesitates. “You should rest.”

“So should you. We can be stubborn together.” I move away from the door to allow him the choice and stop beside the table of food. “The innkeeper has left a carafe of wine.”

He shakes his head. “Wine will have me on the floor.”

I smile and pick up the pitcher of water instead. This might be the most surprising thing I have discovered about him. “Truly?”

He nods and accepts the glass of water. Despite the quiet, his eyes flick to the window, to the doorway.

“You are uneasy,” I say. In a way, it’s reassuring that I’m not the only one.

“Dustan will not allow us to gain a lead. I would ride out now, but the others need to sleep.”

“So do you,” I say.

He shrugs and drinks half the glass in one swallow.

“You’re a good leader,” I say.

He makes a face, then shakes his head. His voice is rough and tired. “I am leading no one.”

I drop into one of the chairs by the fire and study him, my eyes wide. “Surely you don’t mean that.”

“Surely I do. Noah and Jacob seek a path home to Disi. They will follow me until I can grant it. Tycho has nowhere else to go. You are returning to your homeland.” He drains the rest of the glass and refills it. “I don’t think Iisak truly follows anyone at all.” He glances at me. “May I sit?”

“Of course.”

He removes the sword belt and lays the weapon beside his chair. He braces his arms on his knees, then runs a hand through his damp hair. He looks as though he could sleep sitting upright, and sheer strength of will is keeping him awake.

I think of the way he dragged himself through the woods for miles, while his back was a mess of bleeding welts. I think of his quiet, encouraging voice in the dark of the woods when we were carrying that massive buck. Another step, he kept saying. “Don’t you realize that if you woke them all and insisted we ride out this instant, they’d be dressed and ready in minutes?”

A muscle twitches in his jaw, but he says nothing.

“You were commander of Rhen’s guard. Surely this is not a surprise.”

“That is different.”

“A lot of people in this town would follow you, too,” I say. “Do you have any idea what you did for them?”

“Led vicious soldiers here?”

“Fell siralla! You did not lead those men here. Rhen sent those men here. They did not have to attack the people of Blind Hollow.” My voice gains an edge. “No soldier needed to plant a knife in that woman’s belly. That would have been a killing blow.”

“I know.”

His voice is soft and full, and I expect him to say more, but he falls quiet again.

I feel as though I have learned so much about him over the past few days, but so much remains a mystery. I spent so long hoping to be named heir, to be able to provide a better life for my people, and Mother handed it to Nolla Verin. Grey seems to be the opposite. He does not want the Crown, though it seems destined to fall squarely into his lap.

“The guards were afraid of you,” I say.

He nods, and his eyes flick to the mark on my neck. “They should have been afraid of you. I never realized you were going for his dagger.”

“I am the daughter of a queen. I know how to defend myself.” Despite the words, my voice nearly wavers. Knowing how and needing to are very different things. “Would you really have killed that man?”

“If he tried to harm you? Yes.”

He says the word so simply, but it sets my heart pounding again. “That should bother me.”

“Why?”

I swallow and look down at my hands. “Because I truly do want peace between our countries. I mocked you for using violence as a means to settle conflict.”

“It is not weakness to wish for peace.”

“I can wish for peace all I want, but it didn’t stop that blade at my throat.” My eyes feel hot. “It didn’t stop them from hurting so many people.”

“We saved as many as we could.”

He did that, along with Noah, Grey helping the more critical while Noah patched up minor injuries. By the time the townspeople retired to their homes, I had the impression they might build him a throne right in the town square.

Grey sighs. “And there will be no quelling this gossip.”

“Why would you want to quell this gossip?”

He looks at me, and his eyes are full of exhaustion and sorrow. “I have no desire to take Rhen’s throne, Lia Mara. I have no desire to harm his guards and soldiers. This is why I fled Ironrose. I do not want to drive Emberfall apart.”

“Rhen’s guards attacked these people. He issued orders to find you that caused his subjects to turn on each other. The man flayed your back open. He did the same to Tycho. I do not think you are the one driving Emberfall apart.”

Grey flinches. Almost imperceptibly, but I see it.

“Forgive me,” I say.

His eyes lift, finally, and find mine. “Did your mother kill that trapper? The one the barkeep spoke of?”

I go still, then look away. “Her guards did. My sister gave the order.”

“And what of that girl Raina?”

I swallow. “I saw her in the woods. She saw her father and sister executed.” I hesitate. “I allowed her to get to safety.”

His gaze feels like a weight on my skin. I have to fight to meet his eyes again. “The barkeep mentioned a mother in Wildthorne Valley who lost all her children. Your mother?”

“Yes.” He pauses. “Or no, in fact. But the woman I thought was my mother.” He’s quiet for a moment. “The enchantress killed them all as a means to manipulate me. When we were trapped by the curse.”

I long to reach out and touch him, but I am unsure how he would receive it. “Lilith sounds truly terrible.”

“She was.”

It’s no wonder he wants nothing to do with magic. It’s no wonder Rhen fears it so deeply. The sorrow hangs over this room as heavily as the exhaustion. “It was not the magic that made her terrible, Grey.”

He runs a hand over his face, and for the barest moment, I see a flicker of vulnerability in his expression. He hides it well, under this veneer of the terrifying guardsman, but he’s hardly older than I am. We’re both trapped by duty and circumstance, both trying to do what we can to protect our people.

“What will you do when we reach the mountain pass?” I say to him.

He raises his eyebrows in question.

“Will you accompany me into Syhl Shallow?”

When I first offered this solution, my goals were squarely in order: to prove to my mother that I can be as effective as my sister, in my own way. I would bring the heir to Emberfall right up to the steps of the palace, and for once, I would be the lauded sister. But now, after spending days in the woods with this man, I am unsure what answer I am hoping for.

At Nolla Verin’s side, he would be great. I have no doubt. He has a streak of vicious practicality that would match hers, I think. I like his streak of gentle vulnerability so much more. If he stands with my sister, I doubt I’ll ever see it again.

Grey studies me. “After what has happened here … I cannot stay in Emberfall.”

The words jab at my heart, and I straighten, chasing the pain away. “My mother is prepared to assist you in claiming your throne.”

“She will be disappointed.”

“She will be very convincing.”

His gaze sharpens. “What does that mean?”

“She will offer you silver. Any lands of your choosing. Military force. Command of her entire army, if you wish it. She is very driven to claim access to the waterways of Emberfall.” I pause. “She will offer you my sister—if Nolla Verin does not offer herself first.”

“None of those things will sway me, Lia Mara.”

I think of that moment in the woods when the night was so quiet around us and his thumb traced across my lip. Stupid man.

“My sister is very beautiful,” I say. “You should not refuse blindly.”

His eyes are dark and intent on mine. “I am not refusing blindly.”

My cheeks warm, and I look away. My eyes skip across his broad shoulders, down to the corded muscles of his forearms. I caught glimpses of him in battle, when the soldiers and townspeople clashed, and for the first time, I understand why Rhen’s guards had to drag him into the castle courtyard in chains.

It must have cost him something great to allow that to be done to him.

When I lift my gaze, Grey is watching me, and my blush deepens.

“Forgive me,” I say.

His eyes spark with something like mischief, but a little darker, a little warmer. “If you must ask for forgiveness, then I should as well.” He glances away then, a stain of pink on his cheeks. “Now you see why I have no head for wine, to be so forward without it.”

The great warrior, blushing over a bit of wordplay. I smile—but my own exhaustion catches up with me, and I have to stifle a yawn.

“You should sleep,” Grey says softly.

I do not want to sleep. Every day that passes will bring us closer to Mother’s palace, and an end to … whatever is between us.

Because of that looming end, I cannot ask him to stay.

I don’t know if he’s misreading my silence, but he rises from the chair and deftly buckles his sword into place. “I will leave you to your rest,” he says.

He’s by the door when I say, “Grey?”

“My lady?”

He’s never called me that, and it sends a spark through me. I know it is a simple mark of respect, but now, between us, it feels intensely personal. My lady.

I stop in front of him. The door is open, so I speak softly. “I have not yet thanked you for saving my life.”

His voice is equally quiet. “You saved yourself.”

My cheeks warm again. “Do you think the soldiers will return?”

“I do. And soon.”

I shiver, thinking of that man’s blade against my throat. When I swallow, I can feel the sting and the burn. I press a hand to my neck involuntarily.

Grey’s eyes are heavy and dark in the shadowed doorway. “I will guard your door.”

“I should not trouble you to—”

“I may not want to be king, but I know how to be a guard.” He brushes a finger along my jaw. “Fear not. No one will touch you again.”

Now I shiver for an entirely different reason.

I have so many things I want to say—so many things I don’t know how to say.

Before I can figure any of it out, Grey reaches for the door handle and pulls it closed between us.